Gravitation Fan Fiction ❯ Demon Ring ❯ Chapter 6 ( Chapter 6 )

[ Y - Young Adult: Not suitable for readers under 16 ]

Ru: Ahahahahahaha...I'm back.
Rui: -pokes her with a stick- She didn't twitch. -pause- Damn.
Ru: I'm sorry it's been so long. I had writer's block. I didn't know what to do...Poor Tatsuha...I want him to be happy, because...well...I like him. So he should be happy. But it's hard to dig them out of this situation. They're probably not going to be okay for a long time. -sighs- Why am I such an angsty writer?
Rui: Shut up.
Ru: -ignores her- Anyway, this chapter will cover their reactions to what happened. They're not going to come face to face, since...Ryuichi ran away. Again...I'm so sorry it's been this long. I'm trying, but I just started university so I'm slightly stressed.
Disclaimer: I'm not Japanese. I don't own them. Don't sue me. All I have are textbooks and why would you want those? They're all about science and engineering.
Warnings: Shounen ai/yaoi, blatant OOCness, brief reference to non-con, etc. If you've read all the chapters of this story you should get it by now.
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Demon Ring
Chapter Six

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Ryuichi glared at the sidewalk as he continued walking, the hazy light of the streetlamp barely lighting up the path. He had left Tatsuha's apartment almost immediately after the boy had fallen asleep, only pausing to have a shower, get dressed, and grab his jacket before he fled.

Somehow, even after he had practically scrubbed his skin off, he still felt dirty. It was as if the meager amount of purity he'd managed to retain over his very long life had been destroyed.

The child Ryuichi could be was probably not going to emerge any time soon. Especially not after what he'd done to Tatsuha.

Rape.

He'd raped him. No matter what he'd said to Tatsuha while he was actually doing it, Ryuichi had forced himself on the boy. He'd forced Tatsuha to enjoy what he was doing. Forced those quiet, choked gasps and whimpers from his lips...

Ryuichi stopped himself from continuing along that particular train of thought.

And it wasn't even as if Tatsuha had done anything to deserve it. If anything, Ryuichi should just have left after Tatsuha had snapped back at him the first time. He shouldn't have kept pushing.

In retrospect, pinning the young painter to the bed probably hadn't been the smartest thing Ryuichi had ever done.

Once he'd had him there all he could think about was how pretty Tatsuha was, how the dark feathers of his hair contrasted so beautifully with the white sheets, how his position of apparent submission made him look so appealing, and how he looked so innocent despite the rage in his eyes...

Ryuichi wanted to rip that innocence apart even as he wanted to preserve and cherish it. Part of him wanted to protect Tatsuha's purity from anything that could ever sully it while an equally large part of him was aching to possess him and shatter every innocent feeling the pretty painter had ever had.

He'd known that Tatsuha was good looking. He'd acknowledged the brief glimmer of attraction he'd experienced earlier on during their forceful binding. What he had not realized was the effect the painter would have on him and most likely still had.

He had wanted to kill Tatsuha. He had wanted to hurt him. He had wanted to make him beg, and make him bleed...but when he'd had Tatsuha at his mercy it had been extremely difficult to think about causing him pain.

He hadn't been able to understand why he felt this way about the boy. Tatsuha shouldn't have had such an effect on him. It had unbalanced Ryuichi, making him feel as if he was losing control of himself.

He hated feeling like that.

That was why he'd hurt Tatsuha. He'd wanted to persuade himself that he felt nothing more than hate and some lust for him. He'd told himself that once he could bring himself to hurt him, any other feelings he had for the painter would be swept away and he would be able to enjoy his revenge.

The sight of Tatsuha's pain had made him sick to his stomach. The expression of acute suffering on his face combined with the sharp cry that had escaped his lips had almost obliterated all of his resolve. What had remained was destroyed by the quiet tears of pain that Tatsuha had shed.

Ryuichi had never seen him cry before.

Tatsuha was beautiful when he cried, but the sight of his tears was also heartwrenchingly tragic. It was as if the boy were something delicate and fragile that should have been protected, but was instead being cruelly shattered.

Ryuichi didn't like the thought of that. He didn't like the thought that Tatsuha would be broken by what he'd done. He didn't like the thought that it would be something that he had done.

The thought of Tatsuha shattering made Ryuichi feel...sad. Tatsuha didn't deserve to be hurt like that. Tatsuha hadn't ever done anything to hurt him. Tatsuha really was pure, untainted, something Ryuichi had ceased to be in what seemed like an eternity ago.

None of the previous people who had held the ring were as gentle as Tatsuha was. The boy had never mistreated him, not even when Ryuichi had slipped into his childish persona. The truth was that the child inside of him loved the young painter, because only Tatsuha had laughed with him when he spoke about Kumagorou and brandished the pink bunny as a weapon.

Only Tatsuha went out of his way to make the child Ryuichi feel happy so that he wouldn't ever feel the need to cry.

Only Tatsuha smiled softly at him when he asked to be read to, and held him close without any reason other than to show Ryuichi the pictures in the book at the same time he read the words.

Only Tatsuha never asked him to do anything except be there with him, despite the desire that Ryuichi had sometimes seen in his gorgeous eyes.

Only Tatsuha...

Ryuichi had lived for over 3000 years and in all that time he had never felt anything beyond contempt or grudging respect for any human. Now a nineteen year old boy, a veritable child compared to Ryuichi himself, was the source of feelings Ryuichi had neither expected nor wanted to feel.

He couldn't hate Tatsuha.

He never had.

Tatsuha hated him though...how could he not? When Ryuichi had gone out of his way to hurt him. When all he had done was attempt to destroy everything that Tatsuha was. Hell...he'd tried to hurt Tatsuha every way he could think of...he'd succeeded in damaging him in ways Ryuichi himself had never even been damaged. How could Tatsuha be expected to forgive him? How could Tatsuha be expected to care for him when all Ryuichi did was destroy? Tatsuha was only human, after all, and human compassion and understanding were easy to break.

Ryuichi wanted to go back. He wanted to see Tatsuha again. He...he wanted to touch him again. Ryuichi wanted to hear his voice at least one more time.

But he couldn't go back.

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When Tatsuha opened his eyes he was struck by how silent the apartment was, the heavy stillness seemingly choking everything in a dense fog that threatened to shatter if Tatsuha dared to move or make a sound.

Ryuichi was gone. He knew that with complete clarity somehow, even though he hadn't checked the apartment for him yet. Even though he hadn't moved from his bed yet.

Tatsuha sat up. He lay back down. That...hurt. It didn't hurt a great deal, but it hurt enough that he was uncomfortable. It was also a strange place to be sore. He wasn't exactly sure why...

Oh.

Tatsuha felt his face begin to burn. They had slept together. No...Ryuichi had...raped him? No...that wasn't right either. He...he had wanted Ryuichi in the end, and the demon hadn't hurt him. At least, he hadn't hurt him when he was...

Tatsuha fell out of his bed.

It hurt enough that Tatsuha decided to stay on the floor while he thought about what had happened.

Ryuichi was gone. Would he come back? Did Tatsuha want him to come back? If he came back, what would Tatsuha do? What could he do? If Ryuichi wanted...if he wanted to do that again...then could Tatsuha actually stop him? Would he even try...?

He couldn't know, Tatsuha realized bitterly. Ryuichi had essentially been raping him and he hadn't been able to stop him. He hadn't really been able to resist him either. He'd said no, but hadn't fought. Ryuichi had taken him so easily...it was such a joke.

He was such a joke. Tatsuha felt his eyes begin to burn. He'd let Ryuichi do that to him...he'd let him...damnit how could he?! How could he have been so stupid...so goddamn weak?!

Ryuichi must have been laughing. How could he not have been? Tatsuha must have looked so pathetic lying underneath him. He must have looked so ridiculous.

Tatsuha angrily struggled to his feet, ignoring the pain it caused him. He wasn't going to dwell on this situation. He wasn't going to let Ryuichi rule his life this way. To be the source of the demon's entertainment...he wasn't going to accept that. He wasn't weak! He wasn't! He just...

Tatsuha felt a harsh sob rip from his throat. Half blinded by tears, he stumbled painfully into the bathroom and turned the shower on. Not hesitating, he stepped underneath the spray, gasping sharply at the icy temperature. Shivering, Tatsuha slowly sank to his knees and curled up against the wall of the shower, arms wrapped securely around his legs as the water beat down on his head.

"Why?" Tatsuha whispered. "Why are you doing this to me?" Why did Ryuichi affect him so much? Why did he accept everything that the demon did?

"I'm not weak..." His arms tightened around his knees. "So why...why is it so easy for you to hurt me?" Trying in vain to hold back his sobs, Tatsuha buried his face in his knees, tears streaking down his face to mingle with the water falling from the shower. Tatsuha's frame soon shook with the force of his repressed sobs, and the sound of them echoed harshly throughout the apartment.

Finally, after denying himself for so long, Tatsuha allowed himself release, and cried.

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Ru: Chapter Six...I hope you liked this. It'll be a while before I update I think...Damn this angst...
Rui: Does anyone still read this?
Ru: I don't know...-cries-
Rui: Che...your fault.
Ru: I know.