Gravitation Fan Fiction ❯ Forever Gone, Forever You (revised) ❯ Chapter Eleven: Temptation ( Chapter 11 )
[ Y - Young Adult: Not suitable for readers under 16 ]
By: Crimsonreverse 
Anime/Manga: Gravitation Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Drama / Romance / Angst | Type: Yaoi | Uploaded On: 07.18.2006 | Pages: 2 | Words: 4.8K | Visits: 226 | Status: Work In Progress
Anime/Manga: Gravitation Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Drama / Romance / Angst | Type: Yaoi | Uploaded On: 07.18.2006 | Pages: 2 | Words: 4.8K | Visits: 226 | Status: Work In Progress
Disclaimer: ^o^ Chu! My story rocks!
Author's Note: Once again . . . enjoy such a great story. I'm just kidding! Enjoy! ^.^ Hehe!
"I can hear him whisper softly to me, his voice thick with pain. He's telling me to not to give up and fight. Why should he care if I live or die? Because of him . . . I welcome death any day."
Shuichi Shindou, Singer
Chapter Eleven: Treatment
"What's been going on since I've left? Someone please tell me, I think I have the right to know." Raiden whispered as everyone looked at him, not sure how he would take the sudden news.
Sora inhaled deeply, as she cross her legs. Two years and she haven't told him the truth, she should have never lied. "Shuichi changed since you left, we all have. But it seem that he was affected the most and he end up doing some things you wouldn't think he would." she stated out, seeing blue eyes confused and in absolute pain. Pressing her lips together, she knew he would blame himself for everything.
Raiden lowered his eyes as he turned away and look around Shuichi's empty apartment. Things were in complete mess, maybe from him sprung out. Taking short, caution steps, he didn't want to step on any glass. He didn't know it was that bad, he knew that Shuichi's been doing some stuff, but not that bad. Moving around the tipped over couch, he stopped short as his eyes turned to the corner. Seeing the glistening of the needle reach his eyes, it was true. Mei was right, he's been doing heroine and to the heavy dosage. Heading towards it, everyone just stood there, feeling sorry for him. Sora knew it would hurt him, but it was best for him to see things himself.
Standing over it, he crouch down and pick it up, holding it within his hand. Just looking at the liquid, he wonder how could he result to something as dangerous as this. Did he truly want to forget all his pain, forget all the things that made him the way he was? Tears misted in his eyes, blaming himself for everything. He shouldn't have run away, he should have told him his feelings. Why? Is this his faith, to bring pain to others again? First with Kei and now with Shuichi, who probably won't make it. Clenching the needle in his hand, he had to make this right. Blinking back his tears, he stood up as he turns to the others. Sora felt a slight panic, wondering what he was doing. She could see the needle in his hand, she hope he wasn't stupid enough to do it.
"To feel nothing but emptiness . . . that's how he must have felt. And I'm the one to blame for all of it, aren't I?" he asked them, his voice lowered as he continue to grip the needle tighter.
Hiro look at the singer, feeling sorry for the both of them. "Toshiba-san, you are not to blame for Shuichi's addiction. He always has been suffering before he even met you. It wouldn't be the first time he has done drugs. Please, don't do something stupid . . . it's not worth having two in the hospital."
Chuckling softly, words of caution. Don't do anything stupid, how many times have heard those words before. "You right, it's not worth doing anything stupid. You want to know interesting, a friend told me once that I'm stupid for even caring about anyone else. That I should be focusing about myself cause I still have problems I need to work out. But I didn't listen and look what happened, someone in the hospital because of me and here I am, doing nothing. Am I that selfish, not to care?"
Tears mist in Sora's eyes, listening to him pour out his heart. There was so much he wants to tell everyone, but he was afraid. Taking a step forward, she couldn't let him bare this pain alone. "Raiden, you are not alone in this. I know how it feels to love someone with all your heart, but run away in fear because you don't know what to do. There was this guy I love so deeply, but I was afraid to tell him. But I stuck by his side, held him when he cried, gave him companionship when he asked. But still, I never told him and I regret every moment for not speaking those words." she finally release her tears as she stopped and stood in front of him. Reaching out to him, she took his hand that held the needle, as she covered hers on top. Looking at him, he still didn't look up at her, but she knew he was listening. Continuing, it had to be done.
"But time seems too passed and I had to leave, but I wasn't sad. I knew that when I returned, he would probably have moved on. It pained me to think like that, but I knew it was going to happen. I was right because when I returned after so long, his heart belongs to another and I was sad. Of course, I cried because I was too late, but I knew that I was being selfish. I couldn't hold on to him anymore, but I knew when I needed someone to talk to, he would be there for me. You see, you are not alone, even today I still love him, but I want him to be happy with whoever he chooses."
Silent, everyone watch between them two, wondering what was going to happen. Ayame smiled faintly, as she held Yuki's hand. Nodding to herself, she was happy that Sora was able to let it go because she knew about her love and felt the same way. Speaking, she wanted her brother to know also that she understands. "Rai, I understand also how it feels. Ever since our parents divorced, I was so envious of you. Dad always thought you were the perfect child, you had talented and you could pass on the family name, bring it fame once again. Mom loves you with all her heart because you were the only person she could see dad in. Me, none of them ever praised me for accomplishments I've done through out life.
"Hell, they still don't even though I became a famous actress. But you, you're a singer and gifted with so many talents that I hate feeling jealous against you. Like last month, mom called me and told me that I should ask you to sing at my wedding, since you were famous and it would be good on television. I was angry because she didn't even give me her blessings when we went to see her. She kept telling me, I'm too young to get marry, I'm making a big mistake. I hate being second to their eyes, but I know you didn't mean any of those things. Regardless how I feel, I know deep in my heart you are my brother and when something is wrong, I'm always going to be there for you as you are for me."
Looking at Ayame, Sora smile at her. Mouthing 'thank you' to her, Ayame just nod, resting her head on Yuki's shoulder. Returning back to Raiden, she continues. "See, we all have suffered with these skeletons within our closet for so long. But we cast them aside just to help another person in need. You do the same thing back you refuse to see someone hurting that's what we love about you. You think of others before yourself, but now it's time for you to think about you and no one else. You need to be able to fight this conflict you are dealing with. So listen, tomorrow is your concert, but remember you are not singing for us or your fans. You are singing for you and I want you to put all that passion into it, alright Raiden?"
Lifting up his head, he stares at Sora. She wanted him to sing for him and not for anyone else. For once, he had to agree with her because it was time for him to think about himself right now. "I'm sorry . . . I know I put everyone through hell for along time."
Smiling, she shook her head, removing her hands off his. Placing them on his cheek, she knew that he want to make a difference. "This is our job, to take care of you. It's time for someone to finally take all your pain away and make you happy once again. Kei did that once for us before, now we believe you can finally rest in peace. Like we said, it time to say goodbye to him, Raiden. It's time to take that step forward and move on, knowing that there is another who wants to spend his life with you. All you have to do is look up to the sky and whisper-"
"Goodbye . . . my love."
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Give me a reason to believe that you're goneI see your shadow so I know they're all wrongMoonlight on the soft brown earthIt leads me to where you layThey took you away from me but now I'm taking you home
He could see nothing, it felt like he was just singing by himself within his room. Moving the mike down, he let the instruments lead him to a place of no return. The drums pound loudly, like earthquake against the stone ground. It was thunderous, it let out anger as it yelled out to him. Follow closely behind was the strumming of base guitars, each playing at different chords, but harmonizing. They screamed out freedom, to leave the place behind and never return. But what enchanted him were the fingers along the white keys of the piano. The melodious melody that plays out the rhythm. It speaks to him, calls to him, take over his body. For once, this wasn't about anyone else, it was all for him. Closing his eyes, he felt the words flow through him as he brought the mike back to his lips and sung. So much passion, so many emotions, all pouring out like the tears that were flowing evenly down his cheek. For once in his life, he felt free.
I will stay forever here with youMy loveThe softly spoken words you gave meEven in death our love goes onSome say I'm crazy for my love, Oh my loveBut no bonds can hold me from your side, Oh my loveThey don't know you can't leave meThey don't hear you singing to me
The crowd before him went wild as they shouted the band's name over and over again. This was the best concert ever and they would never forget it. Raiden slowly open his eyes, once again staring into the abyss. He could hear them, they called his name over and over in a ritual chant. But once again, he wasn't singing for them, it was for him. This was something he had to do to, he promise to do it. Hearing the other band members sing along, word for word he knew they felt the same way as he did. Regardless the fame and fortune, they all did this for them. As the lights on the stage dimmed and a spot light appeared underneath him, the only instrument that was playing was the beat of the drums. Drums . . . this brought him here to begin with. The beating of the drums . . . the beating of the heart, all metaphoric.
I will stay forever here with youMy loveThe softly spoken words you gave meEven in death our love goes on
And I can't love you, anymore than I doPeople die, but real love is forever.
Coming to an end, the light went off as everything went silent. Standing in the darkness, he inhaled deeply knowing that they had on last song before the concert was over. The crowd once again cheered as all the lights on the stage came on, but this time it was just him standing there alone. It was all according to plan, he wanted to do the band's last song alone. As the others moved, stage people quickly appeared, bring a stool and a guitar as he exchange his mike for a headset. Slipping it on, even though he's doing this for himself, he knew he had to do this. Walking along the stage, he spoke to the audience as they simmer down by the sound of his voice. Taking the guitar and slipping it over his shoulders, he sat down on the stool, looking at them. Smiling, it was time to make a confession.
"Thank you for coming to our first international concert. As the leader, I thank everyone and hope you do come out to our next to concerts that is going to be back here tomorrow night and Sunday. But tonight is special because I decided to do a solo." he stated as the audience let out scatter cheers. Smiling, he knew they would like it. "Thanks guys, you all have been loyal fans. But tonight, I'm doing something I never did before. You see, I've hurt a lot of people that I love and I know in their hearts they will always forgive me, but in my heart, I was wrong. So last night I wrote this song for them and I know where ever they are, they could hear it. I hope you guys like it also because you will not hear it until next year. Enjoy."
Looking down at the guitar, he place his fingers on the chords as he begun his song. Strumming his fingers along, the melody was soft and mellow. It was sad in a way, but most of his songs were that way. Taking a deep breath, it was all or nothing. He sung by himself many times, but this was different. Starting now, his voice was matching the chords as he harmonizes with the beat. The lights went off again, leaving him under a spotlight. It was his time to shine.
Can you forgive me again?I don't know what I saidBut I didn't mean to hurt youI heard the words come outI felt that I would dieIt hurt so much to hurt youThen you look at meYou're not shouting anymoreYou're silently broken
As he sung, he starts thinking about everyone that he possibly hurt. His family, especially Ayame. He hasn't been there for her in her time of need, but she never left his side once. It hurt him that much because she has so much to do, like her wedding but she still took time for him. It was suppose to be older brother protect his little sister, but it seems she's been protecting him. Then it was Sora, who was his best friend and cared so much about him. She never left his side, but he never showed any gratitude towards her. And what still burned in his skull was her sudden confession. He knew she was talking about him, but once again he never paid attention or was he in denial. He knew she love him, but he couldn't let her love him that way. His feelings for her were different, it was more sisterly than girlfriend. But he knew she knew that and still never left his side. He owe her so much, he knew that. Changing the chords slightly, he lowered his octaves.
I'd give anything nowto kill those words for youEach time I say something I regret I cry "I don't want to lose you."But somehow I know that you will never leave me, yeah.'Cause you were made for meSomehow I'll make you seeHow happy you make me
Lastly Shuichi, the man that loves him so much, if he still did. He was stupid for running away, afraid to accept his feelings. He admits, he's a coward but he didn't know what to do at that moment. His mind was telling him to run away, avoid the situation. That was a bad idea and in the end, they both end up hurt. What broke his heart more was to see Shuichi in the state he was in. He couldn't believe that he would do something so dangerous like heroine. He knew the side effects of taking something like that, amputation or even death. Permanent brain damage and other things that can go wrong. Yet he blames himself for Shuichi's drug addiction. The only reason he done it was because he was hurting and didn't know where to turn to. And what Mei said was true, he wanted to feel nothing, to forget everything. Sometimes, he wanted to do the same thing as Shuichi, to forget everything and pretend nothing happened. To return back to the past and never have to face the future alone. But they weren't alone, they have friends and family that care for them so much. They just couldn't see it, they were too afraid to see it. He knew he had to make things right again . . . or his soul will never rest in peace. . .
I can't live this lifeWithout you by my sideI need you to surviveSo stay with meYou look in my eyes and I'm screaming inside that I'm sorry.And you forgive me againYou're my one true friendAnd I never meant to hurt you
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"Wow . . . I never knew Raiden had such a great singing voice." Sora said as she watches the concert on television. Smiling, he was proud of him, he kept his promise.
The others agreed as they waited for Hiro to come out from seeing Shuichi. Even though their plan didn't go, at least they were able to enjoy it from the waiting room. Ayame rest her head on Yuki's lap, watching her brother on the television. He looks so cool on the stage, singing, she couldn't believe it was him. He looked so much like a God there, she felt like a school girl once again. Maybe her mother was right, she should have him sing at her wedding, something she could cherish while it last. Hiro walk back to the waiting room, sighing deeply feeling completely stress out. Talking to Shuichi could be hell, especially when he's on morphine to knock off the heroine. Seeing all the others watching the concert, he was too in Shuichi's room. K heard him enter as he smiled, move over so he could sit. Taking a seat, everyone turn to him, just realizing he was back.
"How is he? What did the doctor say?" Yuki asked, concern for his ex lover.
Hiro let out another sigh as he pinches the bridge of his nose. "Let's just say that bastard in there is more stupid with morphine in his system now. Thank god I haven't told him about sending him to rehab again."
Thinking what would have happened, it was best to keep that until he was feeing alright. Sora groaned, as she cross her legs. She was tired of all this bullshit. They were babying him, of course he's going to act unreasonable. "You know, you all baby him too damn much. Take off the kid gloves and fucking talk to him like he's an adult." she bluntly replied, seeing them look at her. What, they knew she was right.
K shook his head as he stared at his companion. "Ukai-san, you don't understand. Sometimes, Shuichi need to have the kid gloves because he won't like to hear the truth straight forward other wise. I do agree with you though, we need to stop but we are so use to it."
"It's not hard, trust me. Let me go talk to him . . . I'll have him back to normal. Nakano-san, is he still up?"
Hiro nodded, not sure if he would like the idea of Sora going alone. He knew her, she's crazy. "I don't think you should go alone . . . maybe you should take someone with you."
Standing up, she laughs at him taking a long stretch. She didn't need any back up, she dealt with Raiden in the worst of matters. "Don't worry about little old me, I can kick his ass if he tries something funny. Remember, he can't get far, he's already in the hospital. Trust me, I'm not going to do anything dangerous, but if I do you'll see security pulling me away. So see ya'll in thirty minutes." Waving bye to them, she took off down the hall, as everyone watch her.
K grinned, he knew that he liked her for a reason. "She amazes me sometimes . . . tough girl she is." he whispered as Hiro look at him, with a question look. Smiling, he knew he was jealous. "Of course, she can't replace you."
"I thought you would see it my way. But you are right, maybe she could snap some sense into Shuichi's head."
Yuki look at them two, shaking his head. He doesn’t think snapping sense into Shuichi would work. "I doubt that, she probably beat him into submission or something. She's crazy, you should have seen her when we went shopping for decorations. She almost made the lady piss her pants, did you know she carries a gun around? K . . . she wouldn't happen to be related to you would she?"
Thinking, that could be a possibility. She doesn't seem phase by him or his deadly threats. Smirking, he looks at Yuki, shrugging his shoulders. "I wouldn't put that past my mind. She didn't cower in fear of my deadly threats. Than again, she lived in Los Angeles, they are tough people."
Sora came to Shuichi's room, staring through the tiny window in the door. He was lying there, staring at the television. Grinning, he must have seen Raiden's wonderful performance and seem mesmerized by it. He should be, Raiden did it mainly for him, but of course he would deny it and become an ass. Then she would have to kick his ass and everyone would be happy. Shaking her head, sometimes she worries about herself. Knocking on the door, she heard a small 'come in' as she open the door and poke her head in. Shuichi turned to the door, about to complain when he saw those pierce aquamarine eyes glared at him. Sighing, what the hell did she want. Walking inside, she closes the door behind her, locking it. Leaning against the door, she shook her head, speaking to him.
"You should be honored, you know that. Raiden finally came to his damn senses and wrote that song for you. It's called 'Forgive Me', I took a glance at it when he fell asleep last night." she told him, hearing him grunt making her want to hit him.
Looking at her, what bullshit was she feeding him. He didn't write that song for him, it all for his fans. "Whatever, I don't know why he would write a song for me, I'm no one important to him anymore. As you can see, because of him I'm the way I am today."
Getting off the door, she walks over to him, balling her hands. She couldn't believe he's blaming him, Raiden does that enough. "No, the reason you are in here because you are a fucking idiot! If Raiden hurt you that badly, why didn't you do what every other retarded person does, kill themselves. No, you took the alternative motive and start doing drugs. You know, Raiden realized the mistake he made and wants to fix it. Now, you have to be the bigger man and forgive him."
"Once again, bullshit! If he realized his mistake, he wouldn't have ran away and left me alone for two years. Tell me if that is forgivable, Ukai-san?"
Standing next to his bed, she glares at him. "Don't forget, he left me and his sister also for two fucking years! You need to stop thinking the world involves around you because it don't. So what he ran away, that doesn't mean he rejected your feelings. He was scared, he wasn't use to it. You don't know anything about Raiden, you don't know his past."
"You're right, I don't know anything about his past. Hell, he doesn't know anything about my past either, which makes us both even. Look, if this is all you wanted to talk about, you can leave now. I'm tired of listening to you."
The kid gloves . . . damn them. Loosing up her fist, she had to take drastic measures. Slapping him hard across his face, she doubts everyone heard it. Glaring, he done it to himself and now she would have to explain why his face is red. "Listen here, I'm not going to go easy on you like those other assholes do. You are stupid to turn your back on Raiden now because he returned. He wants to make things right again, he know he was stupid for running away. If Ayame and I can forgive him, you can too. He came back for a reason, and he's not going to leave without accomplishing his quest. And if you don't love him, at least tell him that so he knows that he can move on. He would know that coming here wasn't a complete waste. I love Raiden with all my heart and I swear if you do something to hurt him, you will never leave this hospital. You think heroine can kill you, you haven't met me!"
"You know, you are the first person in a long time that threatens to kill me, besides K. Why are you doing this? Why are you coming in here, threaten me? You really want me to forgive Raiden don't you?"
"I don't care if you forgive him or not, but I know he's willing to go through hell once again just to make sure you are alright. Raiden broke down when he heard about you and your addiction. He kept blaming himself, it hurt him so much. It's like he's looking at himself once again. Here's one thing I can let you know about his past . . . where you are now, he's been there and done that. He's done far worst than heroine and if it wasn't for music, he'll be buried next to Kei. Instead of looking at the person you see now, try to get to know the person of is hiding underneath all that pain. But I can't convince you, you have to see for yourself. I have to go . . . my time is up and I'm not in the mood to be fighting any nurses. Get some rest, I drop by tomorrow. See you."
Heading towards the door, she stop when Shuichi call her name. Grinning it works every time . . . maybe she should get a job persuading people out of their money. Straighten her face, she look at him seeing violet eyes lower. He couldn't believe he was going to say this. "Look, I'll talk to him, but I'm not saying that I would forgive him alright." he told her, watching as her lips curl into a tiny smirk.
"No one said you have too. Have a good evening, Shindou-san."
TBC
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Author's Note: I finally did it! I was able to write chapter eleven! Man . . . it's getting so good, I need to update and start chapter twelve. Sadly . . . it's almost over, but I'm not going to tell anyone when I'm going to end it. My friend told me I should write a sequel, but its not that kind of story. Beside, I'm working on another one that I'm hoping would be great. Then after that one, maybe I'll do something different. So let me know what you think.
Upcoming chapter: So Close
Sometimes we must set aside our problems and forgive . . .
Life moves on and you only get that one chance to say sorry . . .
And when the time is right, you know what to do . . .
Author's Note: Once again . . . enjoy such a great story. I'm just kidding! Enjoy! ^.^ Hehe!
"I can hear him whisper softly to me, his voice thick with pain. He's telling me to not to give up and fight. Why should he care if I live or die? Because of him . . . I welcome death any day."
Shuichi Shindou, Singer
Chapter Eleven: Treatment
"What's been going on since I've left? Someone please tell me, I think I have the right to know." Raiden whispered as everyone looked at him, not sure how he would take the sudden news.
Sora inhaled deeply, as she cross her legs. Two years and she haven't told him the truth, she should have never lied. "Shuichi changed since you left, we all have. But it seem that he was affected the most and he end up doing some things you wouldn't think he would." she stated out, seeing blue eyes confused and in absolute pain. Pressing her lips together, she knew he would blame himself for everything.
Raiden lowered his eyes as he turned away and look around Shuichi's empty apartment. Things were in complete mess, maybe from him sprung out. Taking short, caution steps, he didn't want to step on any glass. He didn't know it was that bad, he knew that Shuichi's been doing some stuff, but not that bad. Moving around the tipped over couch, he stopped short as his eyes turned to the corner. Seeing the glistening of the needle reach his eyes, it was true. Mei was right, he's been doing heroine and to the heavy dosage. Heading towards it, everyone just stood there, feeling sorry for him. Sora knew it would hurt him, but it was best for him to see things himself.
Standing over it, he crouch down and pick it up, holding it within his hand. Just looking at the liquid, he wonder how could he result to something as dangerous as this. Did he truly want to forget all his pain, forget all the things that made him the way he was? Tears misted in his eyes, blaming himself for everything. He shouldn't have run away, he should have told him his feelings. Why? Is this his faith, to bring pain to others again? First with Kei and now with Shuichi, who probably won't make it. Clenching the needle in his hand, he had to make this right. Blinking back his tears, he stood up as he turns to the others. Sora felt a slight panic, wondering what he was doing. She could see the needle in his hand, she hope he wasn't stupid enough to do it.
"To feel nothing but emptiness . . . that's how he must have felt. And I'm the one to blame for all of it, aren't I?" he asked them, his voice lowered as he continue to grip the needle tighter.
Hiro look at the singer, feeling sorry for the both of them. "Toshiba-san, you are not to blame for Shuichi's addiction. He always has been suffering before he even met you. It wouldn't be the first time he has done drugs. Please, don't do something stupid . . . it's not worth having two in the hospital."
Chuckling softly, words of caution. Don't do anything stupid, how many times have heard those words before. "You right, it's not worth doing anything stupid. You want to know interesting, a friend told me once that I'm stupid for even caring about anyone else. That I should be focusing about myself cause I still have problems I need to work out. But I didn't listen and look what happened, someone in the hospital because of me and here I am, doing nothing. Am I that selfish, not to care?"
Tears mist in Sora's eyes, listening to him pour out his heart. There was so much he wants to tell everyone, but he was afraid. Taking a step forward, she couldn't let him bare this pain alone. "Raiden, you are not alone in this. I know how it feels to love someone with all your heart, but run away in fear because you don't know what to do. There was this guy I love so deeply, but I was afraid to tell him. But I stuck by his side, held him when he cried, gave him companionship when he asked. But still, I never told him and I regret every moment for not speaking those words." she finally release her tears as she stopped and stood in front of him. Reaching out to him, she took his hand that held the needle, as she covered hers on top. Looking at him, he still didn't look up at her, but she knew he was listening. Continuing, it had to be done.
"But time seems too passed and I had to leave, but I wasn't sad. I knew that when I returned, he would probably have moved on. It pained me to think like that, but I knew it was going to happen. I was right because when I returned after so long, his heart belongs to another and I was sad. Of course, I cried because I was too late, but I knew that I was being selfish. I couldn't hold on to him anymore, but I knew when I needed someone to talk to, he would be there for me. You see, you are not alone, even today I still love him, but I want him to be happy with whoever he chooses."
Silent, everyone watch between them two, wondering what was going to happen. Ayame smiled faintly, as she held Yuki's hand. Nodding to herself, she was happy that Sora was able to let it go because she knew about her love and felt the same way. Speaking, she wanted her brother to know also that she understands. "Rai, I understand also how it feels. Ever since our parents divorced, I was so envious of you. Dad always thought you were the perfect child, you had talented and you could pass on the family name, bring it fame once again. Mom loves you with all her heart because you were the only person she could see dad in. Me, none of them ever praised me for accomplishments I've done through out life.
"Hell, they still don't even though I became a famous actress. But you, you're a singer and gifted with so many talents that I hate feeling jealous against you. Like last month, mom called me and told me that I should ask you to sing at my wedding, since you were famous and it would be good on television. I was angry because she didn't even give me her blessings when we went to see her. She kept telling me, I'm too young to get marry, I'm making a big mistake. I hate being second to their eyes, but I know you didn't mean any of those things. Regardless how I feel, I know deep in my heart you are my brother and when something is wrong, I'm always going to be there for you as you are for me."
Looking at Ayame, Sora smile at her. Mouthing 'thank you' to her, Ayame just nod, resting her head on Yuki's shoulder. Returning back to Raiden, she continues. "See, we all have suffered with these skeletons within our closet for so long. But we cast them aside just to help another person in need. You do the same thing back you refuse to see someone hurting that's what we love about you. You think of others before yourself, but now it's time for you to think about you and no one else. You need to be able to fight this conflict you are dealing with. So listen, tomorrow is your concert, but remember you are not singing for us or your fans. You are singing for you and I want you to put all that passion into it, alright Raiden?"
Lifting up his head, he stares at Sora. She wanted him to sing for him and not for anyone else. For once, he had to agree with her because it was time for him to think about himself right now. "I'm sorry . . . I know I put everyone through hell for along time."
Smiling, she shook her head, removing her hands off his. Placing them on his cheek, she knew that he want to make a difference. "This is our job, to take care of you. It's time for someone to finally take all your pain away and make you happy once again. Kei did that once for us before, now we believe you can finally rest in peace. Like we said, it time to say goodbye to him, Raiden. It's time to take that step forward and move on, knowing that there is another who wants to spend his life with you. All you have to do is look up to the sky and whisper-"
"Goodbye . . . my love."
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Give me a reason to believe that you're goneI see your shadow so I know they're all wrongMoonlight on the soft brown earthIt leads me to where you layThey took you away from me but now I'm taking you home
He could see nothing, it felt like he was just singing by himself within his room. Moving the mike down, he let the instruments lead him to a place of no return. The drums pound loudly, like earthquake against the stone ground. It was thunderous, it let out anger as it yelled out to him. Follow closely behind was the strumming of base guitars, each playing at different chords, but harmonizing. They screamed out freedom, to leave the place behind and never return. But what enchanted him were the fingers along the white keys of the piano. The melodious melody that plays out the rhythm. It speaks to him, calls to him, take over his body. For once, this wasn't about anyone else, it was all for him. Closing his eyes, he felt the words flow through him as he brought the mike back to his lips and sung. So much passion, so many emotions, all pouring out like the tears that were flowing evenly down his cheek. For once in his life, he felt free.
I will stay forever here with youMy loveThe softly spoken words you gave meEven in death our love goes onSome say I'm crazy for my love, Oh my loveBut no bonds can hold me from your side, Oh my loveThey don't know you can't leave meThey don't hear you singing to me
The crowd before him went wild as they shouted the band's name over and over again. This was the best concert ever and they would never forget it. Raiden slowly open his eyes, once again staring into the abyss. He could hear them, they called his name over and over in a ritual chant. But once again, he wasn't singing for them, it was for him. This was something he had to do to, he promise to do it. Hearing the other band members sing along, word for word he knew they felt the same way as he did. Regardless the fame and fortune, they all did this for them. As the lights on the stage dimmed and a spot light appeared underneath him, the only instrument that was playing was the beat of the drums. Drums . . . this brought him here to begin with. The beating of the drums . . . the beating of the heart, all metaphoric.
I will stay forever here with youMy loveThe softly spoken words you gave meEven in death our love goes on
And I can't love you, anymore than I doPeople die, but real love is forever.
Coming to an end, the light went off as everything went silent. Standing in the darkness, he inhaled deeply knowing that they had on last song before the concert was over. The crowd once again cheered as all the lights on the stage came on, but this time it was just him standing there alone. It was all according to plan, he wanted to do the band's last song alone. As the others moved, stage people quickly appeared, bring a stool and a guitar as he exchange his mike for a headset. Slipping it on, even though he's doing this for himself, he knew he had to do this. Walking along the stage, he spoke to the audience as they simmer down by the sound of his voice. Taking the guitar and slipping it over his shoulders, he sat down on the stool, looking at them. Smiling, it was time to make a confession.
"Thank you for coming to our first international concert. As the leader, I thank everyone and hope you do come out to our next to concerts that is going to be back here tomorrow night and Sunday. But tonight is special because I decided to do a solo." he stated as the audience let out scatter cheers. Smiling, he knew they would like it. "Thanks guys, you all have been loyal fans. But tonight, I'm doing something I never did before. You see, I've hurt a lot of people that I love and I know in their hearts they will always forgive me, but in my heart, I was wrong. So last night I wrote this song for them and I know where ever they are, they could hear it. I hope you guys like it also because you will not hear it until next year. Enjoy."
Looking down at the guitar, he place his fingers on the chords as he begun his song. Strumming his fingers along, the melody was soft and mellow. It was sad in a way, but most of his songs were that way. Taking a deep breath, it was all or nothing. He sung by himself many times, but this was different. Starting now, his voice was matching the chords as he harmonizes with the beat. The lights went off again, leaving him under a spotlight. It was his time to shine.
Can you forgive me again?I don't know what I saidBut I didn't mean to hurt youI heard the words come outI felt that I would dieIt hurt so much to hurt youThen you look at meYou're not shouting anymoreYou're silently broken
As he sung, he starts thinking about everyone that he possibly hurt. His family, especially Ayame. He hasn't been there for her in her time of need, but she never left his side once. It hurt him that much because she has so much to do, like her wedding but she still took time for him. It was suppose to be older brother protect his little sister, but it seems she's been protecting him. Then it was Sora, who was his best friend and cared so much about him. She never left his side, but he never showed any gratitude towards her. And what still burned in his skull was her sudden confession. He knew she was talking about him, but once again he never paid attention or was he in denial. He knew she love him, but he couldn't let her love him that way. His feelings for her were different, it was more sisterly than girlfriend. But he knew she knew that and still never left his side. He owe her so much, he knew that. Changing the chords slightly, he lowered his octaves.
I'd give anything nowto kill those words for youEach time I say something I regret I cry "I don't want to lose you."But somehow I know that you will never leave me, yeah.'Cause you were made for meSomehow I'll make you seeHow happy you make me
Lastly Shuichi, the man that loves him so much, if he still did. He was stupid for running away, afraid to accept his feelings. He admits, he's a coward but he didn't know what to do at that moment. His mind was telling him to run away, avoid the situation. That was a bad idea and in the end, they both end up hurt. What broke his heart more was to see Shuichi in the state he was in. He couldn't believe that he would do something so dangerous like heroine. He knew the side effects of taking something like that, amputation or even death. Permanent brain damage and other things that can go wrong. Yet he blames himself for Shuichi's drug addiction. The only reason he done it was because he was hurting and didn't know where to turn to. And what Mei said was true, he wanted to feel nothing, to forget everything. Sometimes, he wanted to do the same thing as Shuichi, to forget everything and pretend nothing happened. To return back to the past and never have to face the future alone. But they weren't alone, they have friends and family that care for them so much. They just couldn't see it, they were too afraid to see it. He knew he had to make things right again . . . or his soul will never rest in peace. . .
I can't live this lifeWithout you by my sideI need you to surviveSo stay with meYou look in my eyes and I'm screaming inside that I'm sorry.And you forgive me againYou're my one true friendAnd I never meant to hurt you
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"Wow . . . I never knew Raiden had such a great singing voice." Sora said as she watches the concert on television. Smiling, he was proud of him, he kept his promise.
The others agreed as they waited for Hiro to come out from seeing Shuichi. Even though their plan didn't go, at least they were able to enjoy it from the waiting room. Ayame rest her head on Yuki's lap, watching her brother on the television. He looks so cool on the stage, singing, she couldn't believe it was him. He looked so much like a God there, she felt like a school girl once again. Maybe her mother was right, she should have him sing at her wedding, something she could cherish while it last. Hiro walk back to the waiting room, sighing deeply feeling completely stress out. Talking to Shuichi could be hell, especially when he's on morphine to knock off the heroine. Seeing all the others watching the concert, he was too in Shuichi's room. K heard him enter as he smiled, move over so he could sit. Taking a seat, everyone turn to him, just realizing he was back.
"How is he? What did the doctor say?" Yuki asked, concern for his ex lover.
Hiro let out another sigh as he pinches the bridge of his nose. "Let's just say that bastard in there is more stupid with morphine in his system now. Thank god I haven't told him about sending him to rehab again."
Thinking what would have happened, it was best to keep that until he was feeing alright. Sora groaned, as she cross her legs. She was tired of all this bullshit. They were babying him, of course he's going to act unreasonable. "You know, you all baby him too damn much. Take off the kid gloves and fucking talk to him like he's an adult." she bluntly replied, seeing them look at her. What, they knew she was right.
K shook his head as he stared at his companion. "Ukai-san, you don't understand. Sometimes, Shuichi need to have the kid gloves because he won't like to hear the truth straight forward other wise. I do agree with you though, we need to stop but we are so use to it."
"It's not hard, trust me. Let me go talk to him . . . I'll have him back to normal. Nakano-san, is he still up?"
Hiro nodded, not sure if he would like the idea of Sora going alone. He knew her, she's crazy. "I don't think you should go alone . . . maybe you should take someone with you."
Standing up, she laughs at him taking a long stretch. She didn't need any back up, she dealt with Raiden in the worst of matters. "Don't worry about little old me, I can kick his ass if he tries something funny. Remember, he can't get far, he's already in the hospital. Trust me, I'm not going to do anything dangerous, but if I do you'll see security pulling me away. So see ya'll in thirty minutes." Waving bye to them, she took off down the hall, as everyone watch her.
K grinned, he knew that he liked her for a reason. "She amazes me sometimes . . . tough girl she is." he whispered as Hiro look at him, with a question look. Smiling, he knew he was jealous. "Of course, she can't replace you."
"I thought you would see it my way. But you are right, maybe she could snap some sense into Shuichi's head."
Yuki look at them two, shaking his head. He doesn’t think snapping sense into Shuichi would work. "I doubt that, she probably beat him into submission or something. She's crazy, you should have seen her when we went shopping for decorations. She almost made the lady piss her pants, did you know she carries a gun around? K . . . she wouldn't happen to be related to you would she?"
Thinking, that could be a possibility. She doesn't seem phase by him or his deadly threats. Smirking, he looks at Yuki, shrugging his shoulders. "I wouldn't put that past my mind. She didn't cower in fear of my deadly threats. Than again, she lived in Los Angeles, they are tough people."
Sora came to Shuichi's room, staring through the tiny window in the door. He was lying there, staring at the television. Grinning, he must have seen Raiden's wonderful performance and seem mesmerized by it. He should be, Raiden did it mainly for him, but of course he would deny it and become an ass. Then she would have to kick his ass and everyone would be happy. Shaking her head, sometimes she worries about herself. Knocking on the door, she heard a small 'come in' as she open the door and poke her head in. Shuichi turned to the door, about to complain when he saw those pierce aquamarine eyes glared at him. Sighing, what the hell did she want. Walking inside, she closes the door behind her, locking it. Leaning against the door, she shook her head, speaking to him.
"You should be honored, you know that. Raiden finally came to his damn senses and wrote that song for you. It's called 'Forgive Me', I took a glance at it when he fell asleep last night." she told him, hearing him grunt making her want to hit him.
Looking at her, what bullshit was she feeding him. He didn't write that song for him, it all for his fans. "Whatever, I don't know why he would write a song for me, I'm no one important to him anymore. As you can see, because of him I'm the way I am today."
Getting off the door, she walks over to him, balling her hands. She couldn't believe he's blaming him, Raiden does that enough. "No, the reason you are in here because you are a fucking idiot! If Raiden hurt you that badly, why didn't you do what every other retarded person does, kill themselves. No, you took the alternative motive and start doing drugs. You know, Raiden realized the mistake he made and wants to fix it. Now, you have to be the bigger man and forgive him."
"Once again, bullshit! If he realized his mistake, he wouldn't have ran away and left me alone for two years. Tell me if that is forgivable, Ukai-san?"
Standing next to his bed, she glares at him. "Don't forget, he left me and his sister also for two fucking years! You need to stop thinking the world involves around you because it don't. So what he ran away, that doesn't mean he rejected your feelings. He was scared, he wasn't use to it. You don't know anything about Raiden, you don't know his past."
"You're right, I don't know anything about his past. Hell, he doesn't know anything about my past either, which makes us both even. Look, if this is all you wanted to talk about, you can leave now. I'm tired of listening to you."
The kid gloves . . . damn them. Loosing up her fist, she had to take drastic measures. Slapping him hard across his face, she doubts everyone heard it. Glaring, he done it to himself and now she would have to explain why his face is red. "Listen here, I'm not going to go easy on you like those other assholes do. You are stupid to turn your back on Raiden now because he returned. He wants to make things right again, he know he was stupid for running away. If Ayame and I can forgive him, you can too. He came back for a reason, and he's not going to leave without accomplishing his quest. And if you don't love him, at least tell him that so he knows that he can move on. He would know that coming here wasn't a complete waste. I love Raiden with all my heart and I swear if you do something to hurt him, you will never leave this hospital. You think heroine can kill you, you haven't met me!"
"You know, you are the first person in a long time that threatens to kill me, besides K. Why are you doing this? Why are you coming in here, threaten me? You really want me to forgive Raiden don't you?"
"I don't care if you forgive him or not, but I know he's willing to go through hell once again just to make sure you are alright. Raiden broke down when he heard about you and your addiction. He kept blaming himself, it hurt him so much. It's like he's looking at himself once again. Here's one thing I can let you know about his past . . . where you are now, he's been there and done that. He's done far worst than heroine and if it wasn't for music, he'll be buried next to Kei. Instead of looking at the person you see now, try to get to know the person of is hiding underneath all that pain. But I can't convince you, you have to see for yourself. I have to go . . . my time is up and I'm not in the mood to be fighting any nurses. Get some rest, I drop by tomorrow. See you."
Heading towards the door, she stop when Shuichi call her name. Grinning it works every time . . . maybe she should get a job persuading people out of their money. Straighten her face, she look at him seeing violet eyes lower. He couldn't believe he was going to say this. "Look, I'll talk to him, but I'm not saying that I would forgive him alright." he told her, watching as her lips curl into a tiny smirk.
"No one said you have too. Have a good evening, Shindou-san."
TBC
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Author's Note: I finally did it! I was able to write chapter eleven! Man . . . it's getting so good, I need to update and start chapter twelve. Sadly . . . it's almost over, but I'm not going to tell anyone when I'm going to end it. My friend told me I should write a sequel, but its not that kind of story. Beside, I'm working on another one that I'm hoping would be great. Then after that one, maybe I'll do something different. So let me know what you think.
Upcoming chapter: So Close
Sometimes we must set aside our problems and forgive . . .
Life moves on and you only get that one chance to say sorry . . .
And when the time is right, you know what to do . . .