Gravitation Fan Fiction ❯ On the Outside ❯ Chapter Four ( Chapter 4 )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

Author's Notes: *gasp* I finished another chapter within a day of posting another! This is a record for me! Well, this chapter was easy. There wasn't really much to do with aside from what's in it and I didn't want to get too far ahead of myself and do a whole lot more. It was easy to write and liked how it turned out.

Random note: I was also informed that Tatsuha is taller than Ryuuichi. ^^ This is true. But I just wanted Ryuuichi to be taller... so he is. Uh. *sweatdrop* Sorry.

Chapter Four

Here is your math equation for the day.

Liquor and coke plus woofing up your cookies in the women's bathroom plus being dragged home by your crush equals?

Waking up in a strange bed in a strange apartment.

I knew when I opened my eyes that I wasn't where I was supposed to be. For one, I was comfortable. The couch in Eiri's apartment is not comfortable. Secondly, I was staring up at a skylight in the ceiling. And thirdly and most importantly, I was in a bed that was not mine and definitely not my brother's wrapped up in warm blankets and surrounded by about five hundred pillows.

I sat up in the blink of an eye and quickly realized how stupid that was. The morning hangover rush flattened me out again. No more sudden, quick movements for me.

The night before was a complete blur. I remembered drinking too much. I remembered that Ryuuichi had known I was drinking and hadn't done a thing to stop me, and had seemed to be pretty damn amused when I was in the bathroom woofing up my cookies. He had offered to take me home. We were walking along the sidewalk, he supporting me, when I had felt like I was going to throw up again. I was nauseous. But I didn't throw up.

I passed out.

Oh God, I passed out. I got drunk in front of Sakuma Ryuuichi, I threw up in front of Sakuma Ryuuichi, and then I passed out on Sakuma Ryuuichi.

I grabbed one of the pillows and shoved it down over my head. If any of the great gods above loved me, they would let me die slowly and painfully now.

I suddenly remembered all of the times that Mika had lectured me for drinking too much. She always said it would come back to kick me in the ass. Damn her for always being right.

Suffocation didn't seem to be working all too well. I removed the head from my pillow, and careful to be more slow this time, I sat up and looked around. Definitely was not home. The bedroom wasn't much, about the same size as Eiri's. It wasn't anything fascinating to the eyes either. Just the bed and some dressers, just your ordinary apartment bedroom aside from that skylight. I looked back up at it again. I could see the sun shining and clouds in the sky. Mocking me and my hangover. Damn you, sky, and your fluffy white clouds.

I was still dressed in the clothes I had been wearing the night before. Thank God for small favors, I hadn't managed to throw up all over my own clothing. My shoes were the only thing missing, which wasn't too surprising and didn't bother me much. Who went to bed wearing shoes?

I tested out my feet on the floorboards to see if they were willing to support me. My knees didn't turn to rubber when I put my weight on them, and so I took the risk to stand up completely. My head began to swim a little, but I managed to stay upright. I deserved a cookie. I could stand!

Hey, I thought it was a damn good accomplishment at the time.

The door was pulled to just a bit to muffle the sounds from outside of the bedroom. I nudged it open and peeked my head out. Hallway. The bedroom was at the end. There was another door leading into what I assumed was the bathroom, and one more leading into another bedroom. The hallway opened out probably to the living room and kitchen. All the floors were wood. I was reminded a bit of Eiri's place, but something was a bit different. It seemed more welcoming than Eiri's place. More... warm and homey, I guess.

I walked down the hall. As I got closer, I could hear the sound of something frying on a stove, and someone's voice humming softly. I reached the end of the hall and peeked around the room a bit warily.

The source of the humming was coming from my left. And who of course should I see but none other than Sakuma Ryuuichi? It should have been obvious. I was in his apartment.

I was in Sakuma. Ryuuichi's. Apartment.

I have died and gone to fan boy heaven.

"Oh, Tatsuha-kun! 'morning!" He looked over his shoulder and smiled at me.

I tried to work my mouth, but nothing would come out.

"Are you hungry?" He poked a little at the scrambled eggs he was making in the frying pan. "I don't think I messed them up too bad..."

"They can't be worse than mine." Oh, point for me. A whole sentence!

I sat down at the bar that overlooked the kitchen on a swerving stool. I had to resist the urge to spin myself around like a kid. Ryuuichi seemed to think his breakfast edible enough after he poked at it for awhile, and I was treated to a good old fashioned western styled breakfast, complete with scrambled eggs (that really did look better than mine) and pancakes. I guess living in America for three years had made him more accustomed to their kind of breakfasts than the usual Japanese ones.

"Uh..." I poked a bit at the food. "I... uh... um, sorry about uh... well, last night and all..."

He grinned. "Drinking really is bad for you, you know."

I wanted to say that he could have stopped me anytime, but instead just replied meekly, "I know."

"You got sick again when I was walking you home and passed out. I didn't know where I was going, so I brought you back here."

He said it with his usual bright, cheerful smile, in that disarming, dopey voice of his. It was hard to imagine someone with that face and that voice actually being a whole lot smarter than he pretended to not be. He knew I had been drinking. He hadn't gotten directions to Eiri's place from me, so he had brought me back to his apartment. I was beginning to wonder if he just liked to play the idiot.

"Thanks," I said. "I think..."

He cocked his head at me. Like a puppy, I'm not kidding. It was fricking adorable.

"You think?"

"My brother is gonna be pissed." I hadn't just broken his curfew rule, I had stomped all over it and flattened it to the ground. He'd have my head.

I wondered... would he make me go back home?

"Won't he be glad you're okay?" Ryuuichi asked curiously.

Maybe. There was another thing to wonder about. He doesn't seem like he'd care...

"I dunno," I admitted.

Ryuuichi looked confused, but he didn't pressure the subject.

"I'll take you home when you're done, okay?" Smiling again. I nodded.

I wasn't in any rush to finish eating and get back to Eiri's place. Not because I wanted to soak up all the attention I was getting from Ryuuichi, believe it or not, but because I seriously did not want to go back. I didn't think he'd lecture me. Not really. Mika would have grilled me to death for it if she could, but Eiri wouldn't. He probably wouldn't say anything. He would just look at me and that would be enough.

To tell you the truth, when I was a kid, I was Eiri's shadow. My mom used to love to tell her friends that. "Little Tatsuha is like Eiri's shadow. He wants to be just like his big brother." I'd follow him around everywhere tagging at his heels. I just wanted him to notice me and pay attention to me. When I got older, I stopped caring as much about getting his attention. And when he left for New York, I didn't care at all.

It's not that he ignored me. But Eiri is six years older than me. He didn't want his obnoxious little brother following him around all of the time.

It sort of gave me a complex about not wanting to let him down, is all. So I wasn't much looking forward to that look of his. It'd be all he needed to do to make me feel like a squished bug.

"It's not good?"

I looked up at Ryuuichi. He was watching me with a little bit of a hurt expression on his face. I hadn't really touched the food.

"Oh, no, it's good! It's really good. I just was thinking." To prove it really was good, I shoveled down some more food. It made him smile, and that was enough for me.

Shoveling it down just proved to make it go away faster, and before I knew it, Ryuuichi and I were driving out of the garage at his apartment in his car. I practically drooled on the thing when I saw it. A red Ferrari. Oooh yum.

Hey, I may be a fan boy, but I'm still a guy. Cars are good. Fast cars are better.

This was a fast car. It wasn't long before we were pulling up to the curb of Eiri's apartment complex.

"I'll go up with you," Ryuuichi said as I unbuckled and stepped out. He slipped on a pair of sunglasses and joined me. As though some sunglasses were going to hide the fact that he was Sakuma Ryuuichi. We were just lucky there weren't five million people wandering around that could recognize him.

"You don't have to."

He flashed me that smile again. "It's okay."

Well, it's not like I was going to try hard to convince him not to.

It seemed rude to barge into the place, even if it did belong to my brother. I knocked on the door and stood back. I could hear a radio playing somewhere, probably Shuuichi's, and then Eiri yell to him to turn it down. The sound became more muffled and I could hear footsteps approaching the door. It opened up and there stood Eiri.

"Hiya, big bro." It came out a lot more casual and light-hearted than I thought it would. His eyes narrowed in on me, and then apparently just then noticing Ryuuichi, fell to him. Ryuuichi didn't even squirm.

"Where were you?" Eiri asked finally. He didn't sound concerned. He was more irritated than anything else.

"I... er..."

"Tatsuha-kun got a little sick and couldn't make it home last night." I stared at Ryuuichi. What was he doing?

He smiled brightly at Eiri. "I had to take him home with me, but he's okay now." He didn't seem to expect a thanks or anything from Eiri. He just continued to smile at him while Eiri stared back like he had never seen something quite like him before.

"I'll see you later, Tatsuha-kun. Bye!"

Ryuuichi turned around and walked away, hands in pockets, leaving me and Eiri to stare after him.

Finally Eiri shook his head and moved away from the door to let me inside. Shuuichi was sprawled out on the couch listening to his stereo. He sat up at the sight of me.

"Tatsuha! Are you okay?"

"Sure," I said.

Eiri was giving me the look. I tried not to look back at him.

"So. Got a little drunk, did we?" He was practically smirking. I wanted to punch him.

"Go to hell, Eiri," I said, going over to the couch to flop down beside Shuuichi. "And don't lecture me. I've already got a hangover to tell me what an idiot I was."

"Oh, I won't. I'll let Mika do it."

He disappeared down the hall. Son of a bitch. Mika was coming over? I was definitely going to get a new breathing hole torn when she heard from him about my getting drunk episode. She would probably think I had done it all just to get Ryuuichi to pay attention to me. And then that would lead to her demanding to know what had happened while we were alone together...

I love my sister, but sometimes I wish that when she worried, she would just worry. Not combine it with making me seem like the bad guy all the time.

"He didn't sleep last night," Shuuichi said suddenly.

I blinked at him. "What? Who?"

"Yuki. He stayed up waiting for you."

I found that hard to believe.

"So he's grumpy," Shuuichi continued. He always made excuses for Eiri. I wondered if he would ever just get sick of it. Probably not. I bit my tongue to keep from telling him Eiri was just grumpy because there was a stick lodged up his ass.

He hopped up. "I've got to go to the studio. You probably don't want to come, huh?"

"Headache," I said. I made use of his unoccupied space to stretch out lazily.

"See you, then!" He pranced down the hall to say goodbye to Eiri. A few minutes later he was prancing out the door. Eternally happy. I promised myself then I would get him drunk and let him feel the affects of a hangover, so help me God. He would know the pain.

I found myself lying there thinking about Ryuuichi. Surprise, surprise. I was thinking about him, but I didn't know what to think about at all. I don't what it was I had imagined him to be. I saw him on videos, doing interviews on TV, live at concerts, but it never gave me a glimpse into who he really was. Mika had known him longer than me. I had asked her once what he was like. She said he was indescribable. It hadn't helped me much.

Indescribable seemed to be right word, come to think of it. He had this happy-go-lucky image combined with this airheadedness about him. But the airhead aspect was just some kind of face. He really was smart. An airhead wouldn't have noticed me downing his drinks. An airhead wouldn't have stared back at Eiri like they were equals.

I didn't know what to think. I just thought that I wanted to know more.

One thing was for sure, he was a nice guy. I don't think he helped me because I'm Touma's brother-in-law or I'm the younger brother of his friend's boyfriend. He just helped me out because he wanted to. He wasn't humoring me or anything. He was just being a nice guy.

I don't know when it was that I fell asleep. But the next thing I knew, a pillow had been flattened against my head, and Eiri stood looming above me.

"What the hell are you doing?!" I snapped at him.

"Nothing."

I sat up, practically growling. I opened my mouth prepared to make his ears bleed when I noticed it wasn't just me and Eiri in the apartment.

"Oh. Hi, sis."

She folded her arms. "Eiri says you got drunk last night."

I glared at him. He smirked.

"And you made yourself a nuisance to Ryuuichi."

"I did not," I grumbled. "He just helped me out. And anyway, you're here to nag Eiri, not me." I'd rather have her on his case than mine. I always got defensive and high-strung when I was the one being scrutinized. Eiri just rolled his eyes and let it go without a thought of it. He could handle it better than I could.

"Don't change the subject," Mika said. "You didn't come back last night either."

"I passed out!"

"You shouldn't have been drinking in the first place."

"I know that!"

Eiri just stood there, smoking his cigarette, watching the two of us argue.

"Eiri is responsible for you while you're here, Tatsuha," Mika said. She had calmed her tone a bit and was trying to sound neutral about the whole thing. I muttered a few not nice things under my breath. "You have to obey his rules," she continued, "or I'll just take you back to Kyoto."

I bit my lip. I don't know why I looked at Eiri then. I guess I was pleading with him silently for some help.

And would wonders never cease, he came to my rescue.

"It's all right," he said. "It was just one night."

Mika whirled on him. "But--"

"If he screws up again, then I'll take him back home."

She sighed. "If you say so..."

I stared at him. Why was he helping me out? You would think he would be more eager than anyone to take any chance he could get to get me out of his place. His anti-social habits combined with the fact he has it out for his family should have been enough to get me kicked out my ass. So why the help?

I hoped he didn't expect some kind of bizarre favor in return.

I tuned them out then. I didn't want to listen to them argue about whether or not he should come home for a few days. I fished out my duffel bad from underneath the couch and found my CD player. I replaced their voices with the sounds of Nittle Grasper and thought about Ryuuichi again.

Two days in Tokyo and I had already slept in the bed belonging to the object of my obsession. Plus one. Two days in Tokyo and I had already managed to get myself into trouble and hanging on a thread between staying and going home. Minus one. Things were balancing out pretty evenly.

I wondered if I would get to see him again. I hoped I did. It would be fun.

He had invited me to that concert Nittle Grasper and Bad Luck were doing. Maybe I'd drag Eiri along. Shuuichi would be happy about that, and it would get me a ride and I'd get to see Ryuuichi again.

It's funny. I knew nothing would happen between us. Not romantically and not in lust. He may not have seen me just as the brother-in-law of Seguchi Touma, but I knew he did not see me as anything more than a friend, at the most. But I still wanted to be around him even if it hurt to know that. To know I was just some kid that maybe he liked to talk to and be around, but nothing else.

I don't know. I never thought about it, really, knowing Sakuma Ryuuichi on a more personal level. I was always content to just watch him from a distance. I knew if I did that I wouldn't be able to make myself look like a complete idiot in front of him, which I had proved the night before was all I was capable of.

I remembered once reading an article in some gossip column titled something stupid like, 'who is the mystery person in the life of famous singer Sakuma Ryuuichi?' He hadn't been dating anyone. The story had been complete bull. But I remembered reading it and feeling jealous. As though I had a claim to him.

What would I do if it suddenly came out that Ryuuichi had somebody in his life?

I didn't know.

Somebody nudged my arm. I opened my eyes. Eiri again.

I tugged down the headphones. "What?"

"Are you hungry?"

I sat up and looked around. Mika was gone. I had managed to get through the entire CD without even noticing her leaving.

"I guess," I answered.

Eiri held out my jacket to me. "Come on. I'll take you out to lunch."

More than a little bewildered, I took the outstretched jacket from him. "What's up with the nice guy schpiel?"

"Don't get used to it."

I grinned at him.

"Oh, don't worry. I won't."

I pulled on my jacket as I followed him out of the apartment. He locked the door behind us and then headed down to the parking garage. I was tempted to ask him what body-snatcher had come and invaded his body and where was my real brother, but bit my tongue. Those rare times Eiri is a nice guy you learn to appreciate and not take for granted. You don't push those moments either. I really wanted to test the waters and ask if I could drive, but I knew that wouldn't go over brilliantly.

We went to some place that looked nice but not too nice that I would be worrying constantly about my behavior. Apparently it was somewhere that Eiri frequented, because the second the host saw him, he was sweeping his way through the people waiting for a table and fawning over him. I mean it, fawning over him. I tried not to laugh in his face. A plus of it was that we got seated straight away. Must be nice to be a country-wide famous author.

"Did Mika want to bug you about Dad?" I asked. The waiter came over and asked for our drink orders before he could answer. I ordered a coke, Eiri a scotch on ice.

"What else does she ever want?" he answered.

"It's not really that bad," I said. "Well, it's bad, but it's not awful..."

He shrugged. Not the topic to discuss, I guessed. I let it go.

"Thanks about defending me back there," I said instead.

The waiter brought our drinks. Damn him. Kept interrupting one of the rare moments I was actually trying to be serious.

"I mean about going back home," I continued. "'cause, I mean... I appreciate it that you're letting me stay, and it'd kind of suck if I went and ruined it all in the first two days... so it was cool of you to stick up for me. Uh..."

"Stop babbling."

I shut up quite readily. Eiri frowned down at his drink.

"Don't take it to heart," he said. "If you screw up again, I will kick you out."

I nodded. "Got it. Understood. One hundred percent clear."

"Tatsuha."

"What?"

"Shut up."

I grinned. "Sure, big bro."