Gravitation Fan Fiction ❯ On the Outside ❯ Chapter Eight ( Chapter 8 )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

Author's Notes: There is no excuse for the lateness of this chapter. There is also no excuse for the cliffhanger ending aside from the fact I seem to be a really mean human being. I promise to try to be more prompt with the next one, I swear. ^^

Chapter Eight

Eiri didn't come out of his study. Shuuichi clawed and whined at the door for a good straight hour before finally giving up and slumping down in the hallway. I was splayed out on the couch, hands tucked behind my head, staring up a the ceiling. Shuuichi wouldn't talk to me. He had given me a single confused, startled glance before he had disappeared down the hall. I wasn't worried. It wasn't a look of surprise for the way I had been acting. It was more a look of surprise at Eiri's behavior, a sort of commiserating glance, I guess.

I really was convinced that there was just some stick shoved up his ass that needed some rearranging. He had no reason to be pissed with me. So I had worried Mika. I had already talked to her and found out what the problem was. No big deal. Maybe he was pissed I had said I was going to the studio and ended up just wandering around the city. Anything could happen to me in the city. But hell. How much different from Kyoto could Tokyo be? Thus I cancelled out that option too.

Maybe it was just a bad mood. Whatever. I didn't care. If he was in a bad mood, he could go beat a damn wall for all I cared. I wasn't going to listen to him try to be my dad.

Huh, and the funny thing was, I had been worried about him. When Mika kept leaving me those voice mails, I had really started to worry and think that it was something to do with Eiri. He had been acting strange since we had gone to the concert. Everyone had been acting strange since then. I really had thought that something was wrong with him. It had scared the shit out of me.

Now I couldn't care less. I kept thinking that if it were me that was acting weird, he would just tell me to shut the hell up and get over myself. I kept thinking that he wouldn't appreciate the concern. I kept thinking all these nasty things about him, and in just a few hours I had worked myself up to a true loathing of my brother.

I was dozing when I heard the door open. I sat up on my elbows, straining to hear. It was completely silent in the apartment. The lights were out. I glanced at the clock. Almost two in the morning. Wow, time really flies when you're brooding.

A stream of light appeared at the end of the hall. I could make out the faint shadow of Eiri's form. He stood still for a moment, facing which direction I had no idea, and then the shadow disappeared. I didn't hear footsteps, so I figured he had knelt down.

"Shuuichi," I heard him say. His voice was gentle. I never heard that voice.

Shuuichi made soft murmurings under his breath. I heard the rustle of movement as he sat up quickly.

"Yuki," he said, "are you--"

"You fell asleep in the hall," Eiri interrupted him. A sigh escaped him, so quiet I barely heard it. "Idiot."

"Sorry," Shuuichi said. "I didn't mean to..."

"It's all right. Come on, get up."

Another sound of movement. I laid back down, just in case either of them came out into the living room for whatever reason, and pretended I was asleep.

"Are you okay?" I heard Shuuichi ask quietly.

"Fine," Eiri answered.

I knew he was lying. Shuuichi knew it, too.

"We're all worried about you," he said.

I sat up again. I couldn't help it. Maybe I would finally get a clue about what was bothering Eiri.

"I know... that it was around this time that..."

Eiri cut him off, his words quick and harsh. "Don't." Dammit, I thought. He wasn't going to budge.

It was quiet for a moment. I waited. The study door closed and it was dark again. I couldn't see either of their shadows. I heard Eiri murmur something below his breath, something only Shuuichi could hear, and then footsteps padded quietly down the hall. The bedroom door closed behind them.

I flopped back against the couch.

Well... shit.

Don't know how I fell asleep. Just did. Lying there staring up into space and then suddenly I was asleep. And just as soon as I was asleep, it was morning.

Shuuichi was up and rattling around the kitchen. Eiri was either still in bed or had locked himself up in his study as usual, because I didn't see him anywhere. Yawning, I stretched out my arms above my head before lowering them to lace my fingers behind my head. Only then did I remember the night before and Ryuuichi writing his number across my palm. It almost felt like I could still feel the pen scratching across my skin. It was like a weird tingly sensation. I untucked my hand from under my head and lifted it up to my face to see the number again.

But it wasn't there.

"Oh shit!"

Shuuichi practically dropped the bowl he was filling with cereal. "What's wrong?" he asked, eyes wide and mouth open. I scrambled up to my feet.

"Oh shit!" I said again. "Oh crap, oh no, oh shit, oh dammit!"

Shuuichi stared at me like someone had come along and cut off my head. Someone may as well had. I finally had the one thing I had always dreamed of right in the palm of my hand -- literally -- and it was gone! I had lost it!

"Tatsuha?" Shuuichi tried to get my attention.

"The number!" I babbled. "I lost it!"

"Number?" He continued to stare at me, dumbfounded.

"Ryuuichi gave me his phone number last night! He wrote it down on my hand and it got wiped away!"

It was that Coke, I realized. The soda I had the night before. It had started to sweat and it made the number wipe away. When I'd had my hands tucked behind my head, I'd made it even worse. Sakuma Ryuuichi's phone number had faded away thanks to my dumbass hair and a soda.

"Why was Sakuma-san giving you his phone number?" Shuuichi seemed to be missing the point of my crisis entirely. I buried my face into my hands.

"I asked him out!" I wailed.

Shuuichi almost dropped the bowl again. I heard him squeak as he made a dive for it.

"You asked out Sakuma-san?"

"Well, it doesn't matter now," I said, not really meaning to snap, but it came out as one anyway. "Since now I've lost it and I won't be able to call him and oh shit he's gonna think I'm blowing him off oh crap what am I gonna do?"

And Shuuichi was still wrapping his mind around the concept of me dating Sakuma Ryuuichi. Me too, actually, but if I didn't get that number, there would be no dating at all. I could've almost cried if it wasn't so... you know, wussy.

Shuuichi poured some milk into his bowl with one hand, the other scratching thoughtfully at the back of his head. "I think Sakuma-san is practicing at some arena today for a concert," he murmured. "But I guess they wouldn't let you in there. Lots of security."

I looked up. Light bulb on. Ping.

"But you could get in, couldn't you?"

Shuuichi blinked, yawned, and shoved a spoon into the bowl. "I dunno, it's kinda like... only band members and producers and that kind of thing..."

"But you're popular and famous and Ryuuichi likes you, you could get in!" I exclaimed.

"I guess I could try," he said, not sounding very convinced.

I launched myself at him. "Please try, please try, please try, please say you'll try!"

I almost knocked he and his cereal over. Eiri would've been pissed at the mess. Shuuichi just stared at me like I was possessed by some mad fan boy demon. ... I guess I sort of was.

"Well, um, if it's that important to you..."

"Yes! Yes! It's that important!"

"Okay then," he said. Still bewildered. "We can go later."

I swear I could have kissed him. Good thing I didn't. Eiri came out of his dungeon o' doom then, probably to see what the hell it was the two of us were being so loud about. I looked at him briefly. He looked tired. That was about all. Tired. I didn't let myself get too concerned about it. His problem, not mine. He'd made it clear how he felt about other people worrying about him. And why bother worrying about someone who doesn't give a shit less about you?

"What's going on?" he asked.

"Tatsuha and I are going to go see Sakuma-san," Shuuichi volunteered. I said nothing. Just strolled into the kitchen and started preparing myself my own bowl of cereal. I could practically feel Eiri's eyes on the back of my head. I kept waiting for him to say something, make some sarcastic remark, anything, but it never came.

"Fine," was all he said, simple and dandy as that. For some reason it pissed me off. I had been expecting him so much to say something it pissed me off when he didn't.

He made coffee and then retreated back into the depths of the dungeon. I dug not so happily into my cereal.

I wondered how Mika was doing back at home in Kyoto. Dad was probably giving her hell about me and Eiri, saying that we should have come instead of her, that we should show some responsibility to the family. Yeah. Like giving up what I want or could do in life to be a monk isn't responsibility to the family?

I didn't eat much. Food had suddenly lost its appeal to me. I managed to put away about half of the cereal and dump out the rest in the sink. I waited until Shuuichi was finished eating to bug him about Ryuuichi.

"So, when can we go?" I asked.

"Now, I guess," he said.

"You don't have practice?"

"Nope, not today." He gave me a smile. "Lemme get dressed and we'll go."

I was still dressed in the clothing I'd worn the night before. While Shuuichi was out of the room, I dug out my duffel bag from underneath the couch and changed into a fresh pair of jeans and a t-shirt. Not that it could have been considered all that fresh. I stuffed everything into the bag after digging it all out of a hamper. It was my way of packing.

When Shuuichi came back out, I bolted for the door, and waited for him impatiently, tapping my foot and basically just screwing around. I looked at my non-existent watch, to Shuuichi, to the phantom watch, back to Shuuichi... he actually rolled his eyes at me and I had to laugh. Something about Shuuichi possessing any amount of snark or sarcasm in him just makes me want to crack up.

We had to take public transportation to get to where we were going. Eiri would have never even considered letting us borrow his car -- perish the thought, really. But it was probably better that way. I had once had the most unpleasant pleasure of being in a car with Shuuichi behind the wheel, and to say it simply, I was lucky that I survived with all limbs intact and all organs still in their rightful places. And me as a driver, well... I'm just a speed demon and would probably get us wrapped around a telephone pole before I'd get us to the arena.

So bus rides it was. We made small talk for awhile, talking about anything that did not involve Eiri. Shuuichi and I actually have a lot in common aside from the fact we both are obsessed with Sakuma Ryuuichi, and we both are in some way connected to the great, grand novelist, Mister Yuki Eiri. We're both music nuts, for one, and can talk for hours on end about any band you could name because we're dorks like that. Video games, too, seemed to be a common thread, though I'm more into the shoot-'em-up hack'n'slash'em games while Shuuichi likes to play role-playing games and strategy stuff.

Talking at least kept us occupied for most of the ride. But after awhile we both got kinda bored of it, and Shuuichi put on his headphones and bobbed silently along to the music, and I just sat looking out the window as we went along. And to whose amazement should it be that my thoughts turned to Ryuuichi.

I wondered if he'd laugh at me. Probably. Or he'd smile that smile of his, that innocent, blank smile he showed everyone, and just give me the number again and tell me not to lose it. Or maybe he would smile that private smile, that less revealing smile I had never seen him give anyone, that smirk he had given only me... I was kinda hoping for that last one. Don't get me wrong, he's really cute when he's doing 'I'm an innocent minor' thing he does, but there's something a whole lot more... intriguing, I guess, about that more serious side he seems to only deem a few people worthy of seeing.

The bus pulled up to yet another stop and Shuuichi punched me lightly in the arm, nodding slightly in direction of the exit to indicate it was ours. I stood up and let him lead the way, hands in the pockets of my jeans, all casual and relaxed. Yeah, relaxed. Cough, hack, wheeze.

The place was enormous. It was one of the bigger music halls Tokyo had to offer, probably the biggest, and I was pretty sure that Bad Luck had played there at least once. Not head-lining, but opening up for Nittle Grasper. They hadn't yet reached the status of head-lining a place quite so enormous, but they were getting there. Maybe if they did Eiri would let Shuuichi move them out of his shabby little apartment into a better place. And hey, if that happened, maybe I'd just move in with them.

Not.

"Told you security would be big," Shuuichi muttered to me from the side of his mouth. I glanced up. There were police guards stationed all around the arena, and not a one of them looking like he enjoyed his job. They were just standing around, talking to each other, drinking their coffees and probably wondering what else they could have spent their Saturday mornings doing. I kinda thought it'd be easy to slip them by.

"So...?"

Shuuichi blinked at me. "So what?"

I blinked back. "You're the famous singer here. Pull some strings."

"Oh." Blank stare. "Oh, um, well..."

I sighed and gave him a firm shove forward. He stumbled, whipped around to glare daggers at me, and then slowly picked his way forward after he felt he had given me a suitable 'go to hell' look. I waited as he approached the cop and began to talk to him in that animated, carefree way of his. Unfortunately the cop did not look like the kind type...

"BUT--BUT---!"

I winced at the sudden pitch Shuuichi's voice had hitched. I guess things weren't going well...

"Tatsuha-san?"

I turned. Far as I knew, nobody I knew in Tokyo was polite enough to call me Tatsuha-san.

Then again, I was wrong.

It was Miyame, the girl I had walked home a few days before. Taken off guard, I stared for awhile before being able to find my tongue. I hadn't thought I'd ever see her again -- I mean, there are millions of people in this city, and what are the chances? Then again fate has this funny way of kicking me in the ass. I never thought that I'd sleep in Sakuma Ryuuichi's apartment either, but that happened.

"Oh, hey," I said, and I didn't do too good of a job keeping the surprise from my voice. "What're you doing here?"

"My uncle owns this place. I was coming to see him."

I boggled. Oh, some deity up there loved me. Really loved me.

"Are you serious?" I spurted. "Hey, hey, that means you could get me in, right?"

She gave me a funny look. "Well, yes... why?"

I glanced at Shuuichi, still arguing with the cop. I decided just to give her the short of it. "My favorite band is practicing here today. I was kinda hoping I could get in to listen." I gave her the best charming smile I could muster, and thought in the back of my mind I'd feel like shit for it afterward. I mean, here was this really sweet girl, and I was taking advantage of her just so I could drool some over Ryuuichi.

But she just smiled a little and nodded. "I guess I could. Um... is that your friend?"

Shuuichi was yelling at the cop, and... I could tell it was going to go bad fast.

"Unfortunately," I answered, resisting the urge to slap my hand to my forehead. "Hey, Shuuichi! Shut up and get over here!"

Shuuichi turned, blinked at me, turned back to the cop, sniffed haughtily, and ran over to me and Miyame. I smacked him upside the head on general principle.

"This is Miyame," I said. "She's going to get us in."

"Oh." He looked pretty damn sheepish. "Okay."

"This is Shuuichi," I said to Miyame, jerking a thumb to him. "Shindou Shuuichi. He's in Bad Luck."

Her eyes widened. "R-really?" She stared at him for a moment in awe, and then looked at me. "You have a lot of connections to famous people."

I shrugged. "Yup. Guess so."

We traded some more small talk for awhile before Miyame finally started to lead us along. The cop stopped her as he had Shuuichi, but she produced some form of I.D. from somewhere, explained who we were, and he waved us through kinda exhaustedly. I guess Shuuichi had worn him out and he figured three teenagers really couldn't cause a hell of a big problem.

The three of us were like dwarfs inside the huge arena, and the center of the place, surrounded by all the audortium seating, seemed almost like an ant hill from where we stood. We walked down flight after flight of stairs, Miyame leading the way, while Shuuichi talked cheerfully about anything that came to mind and she responded politely and appropriately. I just rolled my eyes and walked along with them.

We reached the lowest level of the arena. I could see Touma from where I stood, blonde hair poking out from beneath one of his usual ridiculous hats, and Noriko was not far from him, fingers plunking along her keyboard, and a bored expression on her face. I saw Ryuuichi too -- he had his back turned to us and seemed to be shouting something to someone below the stage, a microphone in one hand.

"Well?" Shuuichi nudged me. "Aren't you going to do anything?"

"What? Er... he's practicing, I can't bug him now."

Shuuichi sighed in a way that made it seem like he was this all patient saint. "They're doing sound checks," he said matter of factly. "It's okay if you talk to him now."

I glared. But as it turned out I didn't have to talk to him at all -- Ryuuichi found me first.

"Tatsuha-kun!" He sounded surprised, and not exactly the happy kind of surprised. For whatever reason I felt bad for coming.

But instead I just lifted my hand and waved feebly. "Uh... hi."

Just as soon as I was feeling about as big as a cockroach, though, his expression split into a grin, and he laughed. "Hi," he said. He jumped down from the stage and approached us. "How'd you get in?"

"This girl helped us," Shuuichi said helpfully.

Ryuuichi smiled cheerfully at Miyame. "Okay then," he said, not sounding overly bothered by it, really, so I figured he wasn't in as bad of a mood as I had just suspected.

Shuuichi, for whatever reason, probably thinking himself a real genius for whatever reason, suddenly took Miyame from the arm and babbled something about how would she like to meet the president of NG Records and Noriko, the famous female keyboardist of Nittle Grasper? Miyame glanced at me for help, but it was already too late; Shuuichi had dragged her away, and left me alone with Ryuuichi.

I glanced at him. He was looking after Shuuichi, just as boggled as I was. I lifted a hand and ran my fingers through my hair.

"So... uh."

Might as well say it.

"I lost your number."

He blinked at me for a moment, startled or something by the abrupt comment. Then he slowly began to smile, and as I had hoped, it was that private, rare smile of his he had only given me.

"Did you."

God, that voice, that amused, smirking voice could melt me in my shoes.

"Yeah," was what stumbled out of my mouth, and I poked at the ground with my shoe, praying to God that I didn't look like as much of an idiot as I felt.

Suddenly a hand reached forward and a finger flicked me in the forehead gently. I blinked, lifting my head to stare at him through hair that had decided this moment was the best moment to block my vision. Ryuuichi just smiled that slight smile.

"That's okay," he said. "I can give it to you again."

Taming my fan boy beast was suddenly amazingly hard. I was kind of torn between staring at him blankly or blubbering something like a chicken with its head cut off. Or you know, a girl finding one of Eiri's books.

I didn't do either. Because that was when Touma suddenly approached us, his expression somber, mouth tight. I glanced at him, and then to Shuuichi -- he stood with Miyame and Noriko, chewing at his lip, and staring at Touma. Something was up. But Touma hadn't told him yet what it was.

"What?" I asked slowly. "What's with the face?"

He swallowed. He was out of sorts, and I knew something was up -- something bad. Touma never lost his cool.

"I just spoke to Mika-san," he said slowly. Again, he swallowed. Ryuuichi was frowning at him, eyes narrowed, and I was staring at him. I wanted to reach out and shake him and force him to say something.

"Tatsuha-kun..." He paused.

"What is it?" I demanded. "Just say it, Touma."

He looked up at me, and there nothing but pure, raw regret in his eyes.

"Eiri-san is in the hospital."