Gravitation Fan Fiction ❯ Semblance of Peace ❯ Confessions of the Heart ( Chapter 3 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

The rest of the evening went well. They had more fun together then they had had in a long time.

They watched a really old black and white horror film from America called “Psycho”. It was really funny to watch.

One, because it was so old and cheesy and two because neither of them spoke English very well so listening to it was more than half the fun. There were subtitles in Japanese at the bottom, but they were laughing to hard at the Californian English that it was to hard to read the character's through their tears.

Just before the movie ended however, there was a very bright, very close flash of lightning and the two were suddenly shrouded in darkness. Shuichi screamed when the thunder boomed shortly after the flash. He grabbed Hiro and pulled him close, seeking comfort.

The guitarist gasped, but the thunder and lightning continued in a flash and boom pattern, preventing Shuichi from letting go.

`I wonder why he's so afraid of storms,' Hiro wondered as Shuichi huddled against his chest.

“Shu, you know that we're perfectly safe in here right?” He stated nonchalantly, trying to at least lessen his friends tension and anxiety.

The pink haired vocalist looked up into Hiro's warm, comforting eyes.

“I know, but I…”

Shuichi couldn't finish his sentence. Unseen tears trailed down his face and he just pulled Hiro close. The teenager drew in a deep breath and sighed. Hiro smelled like Yuki now that he was wearing his lover's clothes.

“I'm sorry for acting like such a baby…but storms really scare me.

He jumped again as a crack of thunder shook the house.

Hiro rubbed his friend's back, and drew Shu's head under his chin, he would do anything to make him feel better.

The composer just rocked back and forth ever so slightly, burying his face in Shuichi's hair.

`Huh, he smells like strawberries. Go figure…'

The scent of Shuichi's hair was almost intoxicating. It was sweet, mild and soft, unlike his own hair that was a little rough at the tips from years of trying to dye it red, even though all he ever ended up with was a rather muddled looking auburn. Shuichi dyed his hair very frequently because he hated to get caught with his dark brown roots peeking through the pink, so why was it so soft?

`Just lucky I guess…'

“Shuichi?” He asked, getting his friends attention.

The singer looked upward at his friend.

“What?”

Hiro remained silent for what seemed like forever.

“When Yuki-san is home…and it storms like this…What does he do?”

Shuichi was confused by his friend's question. Yuki did a lot of things…

“What do you mean, what does he do?”

`Stop lying to yourself Hiro. You know you love him so just…just tell him how you feel already. He deserves to know…'

Inside his mind, the outwardly composed Hiroshi Nakano was waging a war against himself. He didn't know whether to keep on pretending for Shuichi's sake or to go with his feelings and see where they led. Deep down below the surface, his heart already knew the answer.

He leaned down and whispered softly into Shuichi's ear.

“Does Yuki-san…rub your back to calm you down?”

He accented his question by running his hand firmly, yet smoothly up his friend's back. The touch caused the singer to lean in, bringing himself even closer to Hiro's broad chest.

“Hiro what are you—”

The musician brought his hand up to his friend's lips to silence him.

“Shh,” He said gently,” Please Shuichi… please just let me pretend for one night that you return my feelings…”

The pink haired teenager's violet eyes widened and his mouth opened in disbelief.

“Hiro…I…I never knew that you… how long have you felt this way?”

Hiro absently continued tracing his finger's across Shu's back, sending shivers through the kid's spine and causing him to shudder.

“I…I've always cared for you; always been in love with you…I've been pretending to just be your friend for so long……please …let me…”
The guitarist lowered his lips and brushed them over Shuichi's in a gentle kiss. He tried with everything in his soul to put exactly how he felt into that one simple action. In all his nineteen years he had never felt that way about anyone before, not even Ayaka had sparked such a fire in his heart. In a way he felt guilty and ashamed, he knew that Shu was happy and that there wasn't any hope that the two of them could ever be together. Still, he just couldn't stand by and have his feelings go unnoticed.

Hiro leaned back and stared down into his friend's eyes. They were teary at the edges and he could see the turmoil brewing in their depths.

Shuichi knew that Hiro loved him, but he couldn't betray the one he loved. He loved Yuki more then anything, so why was it so hard to say that to his friend. Why did he feel that he was to blame for Hiro's constant longing and suffering, even when it wasn't his fault. He didn't ask for Hiro's love, it was simply something that grew from a friendship carried past adolescence and into the complications of adult hood. His friend's feelings for him had evolved into something more meaningful and he felt like he was the one responsible.

“Was this something I did Hiro? Did I provoke this?”

Hiro didn't know what Shuichi was talking about.

“I've always loved you Shu-chan, it didn't have anything to do with what you did. You were just…you… and that's who I fell in love with.”

That last sentence struck deep somewhere inside Shuichi's heart. It had been the exact same way with Yuki; he loved him because he loved him and he couldn't explain it any better than that, not even to himself.

He knew now just how deep Hiro's feelings for him must be, he knew what his friend was going through.

“Hiro, I'm not sure what you want me to say…or…if you even want me to say anything at all, but… I just want you to know that I understand how you feel right now.”

Shuichi reached up and ran his hand through Hiro's hair, smoothing it out and pulling it through his fingers as his free hand rubbed the guitarists back.

The simple motions entranced Hiro, ensnared his senses and destroyed them all at once. He nodded his head forward and simply basked in the gentle touches.

He inhaled deeply and filled his lungs with Shuichi's beautiful scent. He wished that they could just stay there, embracing and calming one another in the dark.

“I'm sorry if I said anything to upset you, Shuichi,” He said with a choked voice. He wasn't sure when he had started crying.

“I just wanted you to know how I felt about you…I'm not even sure what I expected you to say I just felt like… like you had a right to know that I'm crazy about you.”

The pink haired singer closed his eyes and sighed, pulling Hiro closer to his body and embracing him fully.

He was really at odds with himself right now.

Half of him screamed that Hiro was, had been and always would be his best friend and that he should feel bad about not feeling the same for him, while the other half simply stated the obvious; He loved Yuki and, no matter how mean the flippant author appeared to be sometimes, he really did care for him as well.

They were happy together, but Hiro had always been there for him and he knew he would never do anything to hurt him.

“Hiro…I'm just really confused right now. You know I care for you, but I'm just not sure if …it's love or if I care for you so much because we've always been by each others sides.”

If Shuichi had of been a girl, Hiro would have asked her out in a heart beat, single or not, but he wasn't a girl and he definitely wasn't single. How could he try and tear his friend away from the one person that could pull him back together and keep him strong no matter what happened? He wasn't an animal and he knew that Shuichi's happiness would always come first, but how long could he go before he had to take something for himself, to make himself happy? Hiro didn't know the answer to that, or any of the questions that filled his thoughts. He wished he had never opened his mouth… or his heart.

>>>>>>>

Not really sure where this came from, I suppose they don't really come from anywhere…Mabey they do…

R&R