Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ Ai Qing Gu Shi ❯ My all ( Chapter 2 )

Standard Disclaimer: I do not own any characters in Gundam Wing.

Author: Tsuki Tenshi

Pairing: 1x2

Email: Luv_bpgal@yahoo.com

Title: Ai Qing Gu Shi (chinese) Love story

A/N: Here's another Duo's POV. I suppose, I would add a few characters to keep the plot rolling, but everything would still be focused on Heero and Duo. Please REVIEW!!! I loved it when you review… hehe~

dark faeri: I love angst too!!!

Valandra: Dun worry, there will be a happy ending… I just love Heero and Duo too much to separate them… Torturing them is another thing though… ^.^

angelz3x: Yea.. So whatch think of this chapter?

Duo's ONLY chick: I hoped you enjoyed this chapter as well!!!

Morningstar: I think I would add in a little Trowa and Quatre romance. The story would be very angst but I think I would put a sappy ending… I dun really like deathfics… They made me cry…

Valerian: Yea. Like I said, I love the pair too much to do them any permenant damage. !^.^

Bluerock: I hope you like this chapter as well. Tell me if it made you cry?

Here goes…

//…song lyrics….//

My all…

Cold light flooded the tiny apartment, casting long, murky shadows on the hard concrete ground. The room was shabby and empty, void of any human touch. The only evidence of it being lived in was carelessly thrown shirt here and there; empty glass bottles scattered all over the place. Silver moonshine glided into the room gracefully through the dusty windows without any obstruction from curtains or blinds. A lone bed stood out in the middle of the mess, illuminated by the pale moonshine.

//I am thinking of you

In my sleepless solitude tonight//

Sheets were tangled and ruffled, as the pillows lay untouched. A body was on the bed, still and unmoving. Curled up in a fetal position in the middle of the bed, arms wrapped around itself to stop its slight shiverings and sobs. The cloth surrounding the body was wet, causing further self-induced cold to the body on the bed. A long chestnut braid lay undisturbed on the damp sheets, thoroughly wet. As the body moved jerkily, his head tilted upwards to allow his legs to be raised against his chest, trying to huddle into a tiny ball of shivering mass. Water stains were seen on the pale cheeks of the fey creature whose beautiful face was twisted in pain by a heart wrenching sorrow.

//If it's wrong to love you

Then my heart just won't let me be right

'Cause I've drowned in you

And I won't pull through

Without you by my side//

I know its wrong. How else could it be? A man was never intended to fall in love with another man. It was wrong, just as wrong as the love I had for you. I don't believe in God. If there was a God, Solo, Sister Helen and Father Maxwell would now be here with me, and I wouldn't be crying my heart out for you, the perfect soldier. It was so wrong, I never wanted it to end up this way... I just wanted to show you how to live, how to love. Call it compassion, call it generosity, call it whatever you want, I just could not stand the thought of a fellow human being trained to forget all emotions for the war. The FREAKING War. There could be better reasons for it...

//'Cause I've drowned in you

And I won't pull through

Without you by my side//

I tried all methods to open up your heart. Well, there was the teasing, the joking. After all, the anger showed that you still had your feelings. Anger was an emotion too after all. At first, I was a little discouraged by your lack of actions, but then I was determined. I planned to make the perfect soldier feel, and I would not fail. The results were almost wonderful, if not for a certain glitch. You opened up, started to show your feelings more and I... I fell in love with the uncertain boy... You…

//I'd give my all

To have just one more night with you

I'd risk my life

To feel your body next to mine//

It was so hard, to be able to touch you, tease you, love you, but never letting you know. I couldn't. If I had told you, you might not want me around you anymore. I might not be able to touch you without having you on your guard. I might not be able to share a room with you anymore. And that hesitated me. At first I thought I would just love you secretly, never to let you know. Hiding emotions were always my best skill. How very wrong I was. That blossoming love grew, cracking my solidly placed jester mask. I had to tell you, before I crack. I did, and that broke my heart...

//'Cause I can't go on

Living in the memory of our song

I'd give my all

For your love tonight//

Another night. Another sleepless night, invaded by the cold and nightmares. I am shivering, with the cutting chill that grows with every second, inside and outside. Even the moon seemed to be mocking me, laughing at my foolishness. Maybe I was really the idiot you used to call me... What else could I be? Who else would cry his heart out over an impossible love every night? Anyone could have just moved on... But I really can't forget you. That's why I am the baka you always said I was... I could not forget you.

//Baby, can you feel me

Imagining I'm looking in your eyes

I can see you clearly

Vividly emblazoned in my mind//

Your tousled, dark chocolate hair, your twin, deep Prussian pools of uncertain emotions, your pale golden complexion, and light cherry soft lips. These were all imprinted into my mind, as if a part of my DNA. A part of me. Even in the rain, you looked magnificent. Water dripping down your body, caressing every inch of your body in its trail. How I wish I could be the rain, to be able to be so close to you. Even if I were to disappear afterwards, I would still be contended, just to be able to touch you so intimately.

//And yet you're so far

Like a distant star

I'm wishing on tonight//

I should have known you were waiting for her. Waiting for Relena. Really, who else could it be? After all, how could a street rat be compared to the Queen of the world? As I hide behind the shadows, she was treasured in the light. I could never give you the things she could give you. Not the riches, or the fame. Not the innocence, god knows I had lost it so long ago. Not the peace, I am Shinigamni after all. She was good for you; she could give you all the things I could never give to you. I know I should be happy for you, but somehow, I could help but feel the emptiness inside me grow. She could give you everything I couldn't, but there was one thing I could give that she could never compete. My heart. No matter how long time flows, no matter how long you wait, there would never, ever, be anyone who would loved you like the way I do. When I love, I give my everything. Too bad... I had to love you... Even in the distant, I could see how willingly, you allowed her to coax you back into the house. Why were you standing there in the first place? Waiting for her? I wished I could be the one to comfort you now, to love you... But you were too good for me, I don't deserve you. As brilliant as the stars... and just as distanced...

//I'd give my all

To have just one more night with you

I'd risk my life

To feel your body next to mine//

Every night, I relived that piercing pain of rejection, of my heart shattering. I wanted to scream and shout at you, yelling why you rejected me. Then the screams would fade into a sob as I whispered my final question. " Why her? Why not me? Why can't the person you love be me?" Even as I sobbed into the stale pillow, I wished you could be here. Even when I know that this love given away could never be returned, even when I know that the love was never meant to be. But I had to love you, and my heart, once given away, could never be retrieved...

//'Cause I can't go on

Living in the memory of our song

I'd give my all

For your love tonight//

I still remember that night I ran away from you. I need to think, to recollect whatever was left of me. To heal. But that night, I met up with the Queen of the World. I do not understand why was she here. I knew she stalked Heero but why would she be here tonight? Here in this park, filled with the lushness of Earth's greenery. It was obvious from her determined pace that she meant to talk to me. About what though? I really don't know. I was so confused by the jumble of feelings, with courtesy to Heero... It was the next words she uttered that broke me. The words swam in my head like a mantra, like pure acid poured onto my raw wound. " Heero and I would be getting engaged. I hope you know what's best for you and leave my Heero alone." So that was why... That was why you did not answer me? You were afraid of hurting my feelings? Ha! If only you knew... If only you knew how much it hurts more, to have your love rival tell you that your love was getting engaged...

//I'd give my all

To have just one more night with you

I'd risk my life

To feel your body next to mine

'Cause I can't go on

Living in the memory of our song//

That night I left. I sank so deep in my hurt that I lost touch with the world. I did not know when or where the engagement took place, but from the sight I saw tonight, it had obviously taken place. Still, I could not forget you. I could not crawl out of the whirlpool of all my feelings for you. I am not sure if I wanted to either. All I know is that I love you. My love was unconditional. Even if my heart yearns for me to hunt you down and keep you here with me, I could not possibly do that. You should get the best. You deserve the best. I would give my all. But apparently, it was never enough. It just wasn't the best...

//I'd give my all

For your love tonight

Give my all for your love

Tonight//

Owari or TBC…

AN: Well… Here's to bluerock who abhor Relena Peacecraft. She isn't stupid; she's just plain evil… A question to the rest of you, should I keep this short and sweet, with more Duo's POV? It seems that you ppl review more on Duo's chapters…. What about Heero? Don't you guys like Heero??? Btw, the song is sang by Mariah Carey. Try to listen to the song while reading the story…