Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ Do I know thee whom I call... love? ❯ Assumptions (Part 02) ( Chapter 3 )

Disclaimer: You know it already… how many times have you read that we don't own them?

Warnings: Well there are none really (apart from this being a NC 17 fiction)… I just feel obligated to tell you this chapter is sappy, and I mean it… loads of sappiness… well in a kinda dark way… but sappiness nonetheless… Enjoy…

“Beggings”: I WANT REVIEWS! PLEASE! C'MON YOU MEAN PEOPLE! HOW MUCH DOES IT TAKE TO WRITE THE AUTHOR? I PROMISE NONE OF YOUR FINGER WILL FALL WHILE YOU'RE TIPING IT! SOOO Shini HERE IS A MEAN AUTHOR… (TO MATCH HER READERS…) SHE WON' T BE ADDING ANY NEW CHAPTERS UNTIL SHE HAS FIVE REVIEWS FOR THIS CHAPTER! (FIVE… SEE WHY THIS IS CALLED BEGGING?) ANYWAY… REVIEW IT… EVEN IF YOU HATE IT… THEN I'LL NOW I HAVE TO IMPROVE… not that I don't know that already… *sighs* HMM… SO, WELL… YOU GOT IT DIDN'T YOU? REVIEW, REVIEW, REVIEW, REVIEW… 0.o

 

Assumptions (Part 02)

 

He was white. White as marble. The copper skin of my lover… white…

I had never thought he might look so beautiful even as sick and pale as he was… but then again, I'm so desperate that even the fact that he's still alive makes him gorgeous to me…

 

He'd been out for three hours that first morning. We were arguing. We'd been arguing a lot by then. That's when he felt ill. I saw it happening, he paled suddenly and whispered:

 

“Trowa… I'm going to be ill…” and the next thing I knew I was clutching him for dear life. He scared me. He scared us all…

 

“What's the problem with me?” He asked me after the first week of vomiting and passing out.

 

I couldn't keep it from him anymore; I finally let it all out, “You're very ill, love. The doctors still don't know what it is but they said it's probably due to the wars and from piloting a Gundam for so long at such a young age…”

 

“You mean you knew about this?” He asked me managing an angry look even after all he'd been through.

 

“Yes I did”

 

“Is this what you'd been keeping from me all this time? How come do you know about this and I don't?” He demanded angrily.

 

I blushed and looked down, “I broke into the Preventers' computers when I heard rumors that some of the exams, the ones we have to take every year so they'll leave us alone, had shown alarming results. The doctors didn't say anything for it seemed to be nothing wrong with the soldiers who'd presented such results…Until some of them started throwing up blood…”

 

“Just like me…” he whispered detachedly.

 

“Yes, just like you”

 

“But sill… Why didn't you tell me anything?”

 

“I was hoping you didn't show the symptoms” I answered guiltily.

 

“Yet I did…”

 

“Yes… you did” I sighed, defeated. Even though I hadn't wanted to face it, he was sick.

 

“What now?” He asked me at a loss.

 

I savored the moment despite the circumstances, him, showing his confusion so freely… it was rare, even for me. I lost myself in his frightened eyes for a moment, than answered truthfully, “I don't know. This disease is much too new… I'm afraid there is not a safe treatment yet…”

 

He gapped, then, “Have any of the others shown the symptoms as well?”

 

I suppressed the urge to snort, always putting others in front of yourself… that's my Wufei… “I don't know”

 

He arched an eyebrow for me to elaborate, “I wasn't interested in their exams…” I shrugged and he flushed a deep shade of pink.

 

I can't help but wonder at how interesting this is. We've been together for so long, yet we do not know what to do with the other's displays of love and care…

 

There was neither care nor love when we first got together, after all.

It was just a stress reliever, a couple of quick fucks, something to drive his attention from Treize's defeat and my attention from the horrors of my past… and the war.

 

I shiver as I remember those times… the utter loneliness of us both, taking refuge in each other. The loneliness… he fulfilled slowly with his presence, the despair he kept at bay until it suddenly but just as slowly disappeared into nothingness… and finally, the love that came tumbling down from deep inside my heart… so deep I didn't even knew was there… so vicious it made me addicted to his very presence…

 

What am I to do without him? My heart bleeds even now that I have him peacefully sleeping beside me… what it…?! No!

 

Suddenly I cant resist the urge of waking him up just to see if he's still alive… just to touch his skin and feel it warm and silky under my fingertips… just to put my ear on his chest and listen to that reassuring beat… his heart, that pumps life into him… into me…

 

“Wufei…” I whisper in his ear and kiss his neck lightly. He stirs.

 

“Hmmm…” he answers sleepily but I'm not reassured enough.

 

“Wufei…” I reach for his nipple and lick it swiftly.

 

“Tro… Trowa!” He shivers and snaps his eyes open.

 

I watch those black jewels with immense relief and greet him, “Hello Wufei”

 

“Humph… Why did you wake me up for?” He asks feigning some grumpiness to hide his lopsided grin.

 

“What do you think?” I play along… I had not been thinking on those lines… but I feel clingy… might as well hide it behind some love making…

 

He laughs, gods I love that sound… what if… no… don't go there again! I approach him none too gently and crush our mouths together… I need him… I need to taste him… to make sure it's not changed… to make sure it's still there…

 

He answers almost as violently and already guessing my thoughts he says, not leaving my mouth for too long, “I'm not going anywhere Tro… I'm not leaving you…”

 

I try to resume our kissing long enough to answer him, but I'm not able to, not right now… I'm too needy. I hug him instead, my arms circling his frail form and pulling him to sit on my lap, possessively pressing him to my chest.

 

We stop for a while to regain our breaths, my hands roaming all over his body, touching, probing, making sure he's still ok, he's still with me…

 

His lips make contact with my heated skin as soon as I touch his pulsing sex. Oh gods… how I want him… I need him… I whish to be gentle… to go slowly… but I need him so…

 

I tell him this… I try to explain it… as hard as it is to find the words… to say it out loud… “You are my weakness… you're the reason I survive… you're everything I hold dear… I want you… I need you… I love you…”

 

He understands and I have his permission. I look at his flushed face as I sheath myself completely inside him…

 

Our rhythm is not calm nor composed… not the one we're used to after years of making love… we're rushing… desperately seeking completion… we need this… we need it rough sometimes… just to assure ourselves… to assure each other that this is not about love… this is not about feelings… this is not about sharing our lives… not about caring… not about suffering…. But, most of all… this is his way to assure me that… if this disease has no cure… if he dies of it… if I am to be alone… I can make it…

 

Of course we are both in denial… none of that is true… we know it… I know it. I could never make it without him… he is life to me… and this disease of his… puts us both under death-treat.

 

Thinking starts to get too hard for me as I come close to the edge… His endurance is lower than mine now and he comes first… I'm not far behind though and his spasms clenching powerfully around me push me until I am shouting emptying my seed inside him, his name falling from my lips over and over again.

 

Finally, as we lay sated I get my whish. His eyes close and I listen to his heart as sleep claims him again. I smile at the sound of his calming heart… maybe now… I'll be able to sleep myself… lulled be this sluggish rhythm… the rhythm that brings life… to both our hearts…

 

TBC

 

* Shini * Well… now that you're finished reading… don't forget to review… *imitates Quatre's puppy eyes* Please…