Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ Do I know thee whom I call... love? ❯ Helping Hand ( Chapter 5 )

Warnings: Well… none really besides angst and kawainess *hihi, just made that word up*… this chapter is slightly different as I'm trying to write longer ones… and it's a Duo POV… Hope you enjoy it!

 

Helping Hand

 

“It's absurd. That's all I have left to think as I observe those two. It's absurd just how much they depend on each other. Absurd just how much they love each other… and absurd just how much they try to hide it.

 

They seem to think we can't see it… as if it weren't obvious. The worst part I guess is that I know exactly what it feels like… to love another this much and have to hide it. I only hope they don't ache as much as me.

 

Of course they don't have to hide it, but they are both so stubborn. Well… their lives aren't mine to decide… I'm here today just as a backup. Since Wufei's illness became known to all of us we've taken turns on helping him and Trowa out. We found out Trowa would just not go to work if he felt Wufei was going to have another attack… and as soon as Wufei's attacks became more frequent he wanted to stop working all together. Talk about obvious!

 

Anyway, that afternoon when we were on holiday we decided that this could not go on. If we could not help them any other way, then let us at least give them our support. Wufei was categorically against it, but we didn't pay much attention to him as we all knew his pride is bigger then the earth and all the colonies put together. Trowa was not happy about it either but the thought of leaving his lover with us rather then alone while he was at work appealed to him.

 

So here I am. We figured that as we are four, without Wufie and Trowa, we could just share the days of the week and leave Fridays and weekends up to the lover birds. It works better this way and nobody is overloaded as Trowa was before we found out about all this.

 

Now when we decided to keep an eye on Wufei we were not prepared for what was to come. Or at least I wasn't. There's nothing so bad about him being sick, he acts as his usual moody self ninety percent of the time… So it's rather pleasant to spend the day with him… well I wouldn't say always pleasant, but fun at least.

 

I figure we were never that close, but that changed when I started on my weekly shifts. Under layers of annoyance I found an amazing person, really, Wufie is not that bad once you get to know him. Actually I can see why Trowa fell for him. On the first day of my stay he surprised me by starting a civilized conversation for once, “I wonder about you sometimes” he said, sitting on the couch and probing me with those polite words of his.

 

“Do you?” I asked startled, knowing him I was expecting an insult or something humiliating soon enough. It's not that we hated each other; we just never had the chance to communicate properly.

 

“How do you cope with it?”

 

“How do I cope with what?” I asked, clueless.

 

“With him… with her… with everything…” He finished embarrassed, “I'm sorry… I shouldn't be asking such personal questions, I apologize”

 

“Wu-man, you're one of the few people I trust most in the universe… if you don't ask me questions about my personal life, who will? It's ok…”

 

He looked up at me and gave a tiny smile. Gods… had we all changed so much since the wars!? Wu could smile! I thought for a moment before answering, “Well… I just sorta do… ya know?” I grinned at him, but it was not entirely true.

 

His eyes narrowed “You're not telling the truth Maxwell. What happened to not lying?”

 

“Well… it's no entirely a lie… Most of times I just cope with it like it was natural”

 

“Humph”

 

“But if you're wondering, yes, I do get jealous sometimes”

 

“And what about the little girl?” He asked almost shyly.

 

I sighed. That was the part that stung. Not as much lately… but I can still feel a dull pain deep inside when I think about it… Well, let me explain the situation first. Heero and I are lovers, but Heero is married, not to me, I wish… but to Relena Peacecraft. Yeah… pretty complicated don'tcha think? The worse part is, and that's what hurts me most, they have a daughter.

 

She is a pretty little thing… and I adore her, the fault is not hers for being born, after all, but to think that she's the result of my lover's coupling with another person… with a woman nonetheless… it hurts… it hurts a lot when I think about it. I hadn't thought about it that way in a while… I think that's what dulled the pain.

 

“I'm sorry” Wufei said again when he saw tears in my eyes.

 

“No… I'm sorry. I shouldn't be crying… I mean, it's not like I'm being forced into this, is it?” I tried smiling for him but he didn't buy it.

 

“No, it's all right to cry Duo. Don't be ashamed. If anything, this sickness of mine has tought me that tears can be shed with pride if they are worthy tears. I've cried a lot lately… I find my tears worthy because they are tears of pain, the pain I carry since the wars, since my family and colony were disintegrated, since Meiran died…” He whispered and his eyes wondered about the room, then he turned to focus on me and continued, “Your tears are worthy because they are the tears of a lover who cannot have the one he loves for himself because of political pressure and the maintenance of the peace we fought to achieve”

 

I nodded silently, I couldn't have said it better myself. The reason Heero had married Relena and not me was that peace was too frail in the start and the Queen of the World needed someone strong behind the curtains to make her look better.

 

Heero was the scapegoat as, of course, she had already proclaimed her love for him in front of the cameras of every news record on earth and every colony cluster in space. He tried to say no, but soon enough the treats came and peace would not last if the Queen did not find and appropriate husband to support her. So my Heero went to save the world once again.

 

We already were lovers at the time and he told Relena clearly that he did not love her, he was doing this out of obligation and that I would remain his lover for as long as I wished and she was not to say a word. She complied. I know Heero doesn't love her. I know they almost never go to bed, he always tells me when they do, but when little Rin was born it was one of the toughest times in my life.

 

“It hurts Fei… it hurts because it's the only thing I can't give him… it's something I was always afraid would happen… and now it has… and it hurts… it hurts…” I sobbed shamelessly.

 

He hugged me tightly and we stayed there for a while until I managed to ask, “What about you and Trowa?”

 

“What about us?” He furrowed his eyebrows.

 

“How is it between you two?”

 

He was silent for a moment and I thought he wouldn't answer when he confessed, “We argue a lot”

 

“Do you?” I asked surprised,” I'd never have thought…”

 

“Well we have our issues… I'm much too jealous” He said. “I would never stand a situation such as yours… just imagining him with someone else,” he shivered “is too much for me”

 

“And how does Tro feel about that?”

 

“He gets upset sometimes… he thinks I don't trust him… But it's not that… it's just…” he sighed “sometimes I wonder…”

 

“You wonder way too much Wu…”

 

He smiled sadly at me, “I wonder if he's happy with me… I mean… sometimes I think that he'd be better off with someone else, and now with this disease of mine…” He trailed of.

 

“Who'd be better for him than you Wu-man? I mean, sure you argue a lot, but who doesn't? And plus, you look so good together…”

 

He blushed and looked away, “You think so?”

 

“Sure! You're hot!”

 

“Thank you…” He mumbled…

 

“Ya know Wu… I've always wondered…” He smiled faintly and I continued, “How come the five of us turned out to be gay?”

 

He laughed at that and I had to snort, “It's true… I mean, there's you and Trowa, me and Heero and Quatre and Zechs…”

 

“That makes six of us Duo…” He scorned lightly.

 

“Yeah, but Zechsy was not in the original team…” I pointed.

 

“True” He conceded. “Well… I have no idea, why? Does that bother you?” He lifted an eyebrow.

 

“Not at all… it's just… funny when you think of it”

 

“Well… we're not all gay. I had a wife you know… and Heero is married to Relena. That makes us bisexual.”

 

“Yeah… but Heero's out cuz he told me that sometimes just the sight of Relena naked is enough to turn him down…”

 

His eyes widened and he had to hold onto the couch not to fall down from his hard laughter, I smiled at him until I noticed something strange. There were tears in his eyes and they were not tears of joy, “Oh gods Wu… you're having a pain attack”

 

I didn't know what to do. I struggled not to panic. I tried to remember his attack from when we were on holiday… then I heard Trowa's words echoing in my head and I understood a bit of his pain, there was nothing to do! I could just watch and wait for it to stop.

 

Fei curled on himself by the end of the couch and whimpered slightly. His face contorted by the pain. I approached carefully and sat on the floor beside him, I offered my hand and he clasped it at once. The bruising grip he kept on me was nothing compared to what he must be feeling, I thought and silently prayed to any gods that might be listening that Quatre's doctors and money found a cure to Wu's disease as quickly as possible, this was too much.

 

After almost half an hour the grip had loosened somewhat and I felt relieved to see that Fei's eyes were closed. He must be sleeping, I thought.

 

“He passed out…” a quiet voice said from behind me and I turned to see Trowa watching us from the door. “It's not over yet…”

 

“But I thought…”

 

“The doctors give him injections once a week. It's a substance that's programmed to knock him out if the pain becomes so strong he can't take it anymore…”

 

“Shit…” I murmured and Trowa nodded.

 

“It's all right for now… he'll be out for a while. Usually the attack is over when he wakes up…”

 

“Usually?” Trowa nodded again but didn't elaborate.

 

“You can go now Duo, I've got him” He said lifting the still form from the couch and proceeding to take him to their room.

 

It was my turn to nod and I fished my mobile from my pocket to call Heero. “Hey love, I'm finished here, can you come and pick me up?” I asked as soon as he answered it.

 

“Duo” he said, and I heard relief in his voice, maybe he was expecting it to be Relena? “I'm coming love…” then he tensed a bit, “I have Rin with me, is that all right?” he asked, unsure.

 

I felt a sharp pang and a sudden moisture in my eyes but I steeled my voice and answered without braking, “Sure love, why not!?”

 

I heard him smile, “Thank you Duo… I love you” he said before hanging up.

 

I flopped on the couch and pressed my hands tightly against my eyelids to hold back the tears, I did not want Heero to see me with puffy eyes.

 

“It's all right to cry you know…” I heard for the second time that day and turned to see Trowa carefully watching me, “Fei talks about out a lot … it almost makes me jealous” He smiled faintly and I shivered. “He thinks you're a very strong person to put up with a situation like this the way you do…”

 

“Thanks Tro” I grinned weakly.

 

“It's true you know…” he stated and turned to go back to the bedroom to check on his lover.

 

I sat there for a full half hour or so before Heero called me again to say he was there. I stood to leave and Trowa came to open the door for me. I smiled at him and before I was too far away to listen to him he told me, “I also think that Duo…”

 

As I turned to look at him the door closed and Heero honked impatiently, he had to take Rin home. I snapped back from my reverie and smiled honestly for maybe what was the first time that day. I came here to help Wufei but he and Trowa helped instead. Well, I thought, grinning, what are friends for anyway?

 

TBC

 

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