Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ Gundam Theater Presents: Hamlet (AKA How to Off Releena in Ten Scenes or Less) ❯ Act II ( Chapter 2 )

The lights dim and act two begins. Our scene is in a crypt with dead bodies. Duo stands along with the song from Quest for Camelot, “I Stand Alone” playing behind him.

Heero wanders in, peeking into each coffin to see if it's someone he killed. He keeps count on his fingers. “Killed you, killed you, didn't kill you, killed you, killed you, wanted to kill you, killed you, killed your brother, not dead yet...” He pulls out his sword and stabs the body. “Okay... killed you...”

Duo taps his foot and points at himself. “Hello! Star here! Anyway, I don't think Horatio is even in this scene...” He glares at Heero who isn't paying any attention. “Stop stabbing the bodies!”

Heero stares at him silently, but sheaths his sword.

Duo, satisfied, takes up a mock dramatic pose, forgets his lines, and quickly ad libs. “To be or not to be... uh... dead.”

“Do I have a say?” Heero asks.

Duo ignores him and continues. “Should I shoot—um—slings and arrows at myself... or would that be a really stupid way to die? Or should I oppress people to make them want to kill me?”

“I want to kill you,” Heero interrupts again.

“Monologue, Heero,” Duo snaps. “That means me. Just me!” He giggles. “Hey, that's funny... Duo doing a monologue.” He giggles again... then clears his throat and continues. “Anyway, to die, to sleep. To die in my sleep. TO dream about dying in my sleep, which is more like a nightmare... To be put in a box. To be asleep in a box. I wouldn't want to sleep in a box... not without any air.”

Zechs yells from offstage, “My line!”

“No!” Quatra calls from offstage, “wrong play! Bad Zechs! Back in your box!” He presses the button on a remote to the shock collar that for some unknown reason Zechs allowed Quatra to put on him.

“Ow,” Zechs said.

Lady Une walks up to the director. “Quatra, I'll hold the shocker remote for you while you direct.”

Quatra hesitates. Then he spots Heero trying to stab Duo. “Okay, fine.” He tosses the remote to Lady Une and runs to yell at Heero again.

Lady Une chuckles.

Duo is now standing on a tall coffin, trying to yank out the stone sword from the statue's hand for self defense.

Lady Une pushes the button.

“Ow!” Zechs says again, casually adjusting the collar with his finger.

Quatra approaches the coffin. “Duo, there was a sword with the rest of your costume if you'd wear it.” He watches Heero take another swipe at Duo, and considers getting a shock collar for Heero. He realizes that Heero would like it too much. A thought bubble appears over Quatra's head of a chibi Heero pushing the button on his own shock collar and giggling.

Duo takes the moment of distraction to slip off of the coffin and go backstage for the rest of his costume. He returns moments later with the sword and a very large gold cross. He glares at Heero as he passes, holding the cross in front of Heero's face.

Heero just raises an eyebrow and says nothing.

Duo mutters, “Worth a shot,” and puts the crucifix around his neck.

Releena whines from behind the curtain, “He-chan... I'm lonely!”

Heero looks at Duo, “Get on with it...”

Duo whispers loudly to Quatra, “What was my line?”

Quatra sweatdrops, frustrated. “Next scene!”

“Finally,” Heero mutters.