Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ Gundam Theater Presents: Hamlet (AKA How to Off Releena in Ten Scenes or Less) ❯ Act III ( Chapter 3 )

The stage goes black. A short while later, when the lights are up again, act three starts, setting us in Gertrude's bedroom.

Duo stands alone onstage, looking around. “Something's missing.” Suddenly he realizes it's Hamlet's mommy, and starts to cry. “I've always had abandonment issues!” He starts going up to random tapestries, saying to each, “Have you seen my mommy?”

Releena starts coming out from behind her curtain. “I'll comfort you.”

Everyone, including Duo yells “Get back behind the curtain!”

Releena stops with a deer in the headlights look and slowly backs behind the curtain.

Quatra sighs. “Who was supposed to play Gertrude?”

Duo raises his hand. “Oh, I know! I think it was the guy in the coffin that Heero stabbed last scene!”

Quatra glares at Heero who ignores him, polishing his sword on a curtain.

Releena cries out from behind that curtain, “Ow!” as she's jabbed.

“We need a Gertrude,” Quatra says.

“Yeah,” Duo adds. “I get the bed fight scene with her.”

Lady Une pops in. “I'll be Gertrude!”

“No!” Quatra says, exasperated. “You're Claudius. You can't play your own lover.”

Lady Une pouts. “Why not?”

“No.”

Lady Une sulks and pushes the remote button.”

“Ow!” Zechs says from offstage.

“Why not Heero?” Duo asked. “It's his fault.”

“I already have a role,” Heero says, shooting a glare at Duo. “I'm your best friend. Now shut up or I'll kill you.”

Duo bats his eyelashes at Heero. “Don't you want to be my lover?”

Music plays in background. The Spice Girls song, “Do You Want to be My Lover?” plays. Everyone stops what they are doing and stares in the direction of Trowa.

“Is there something you want to tell us, Trowa?” Duo asks. “Maybe about your...” he drops his voice to a loud whisper... “sexual preferences?”

Heero twitches.

“Turn it off, Trowa,” Quatra says.

“But I like this song!” Releena exclaimes, her voice slightly muffled by the curtain.

Heero, fed up, walks back to the curtain. He stabs Releena. Then he walks back to Trowa and the CD player, hits stop, takes the CD out and snaps it in half. Then he hands the broken pieces of the CD back to Trowa, walking away again.

“Heero!” Quatra snaps, enraged.

Heero turns to look at him. “Polonius dies this scene. We had no Gertrude. This sufficed. And the CD sucked.”

Trowa just smirks.

“He has a point,” Duo says thoughtfully.

Releena calls for help from behind the curtain. “Heero! Come back and kill me!” she adds.

“I just did,” Heero says emotionlessly. “Now, shut up and die.” This is probably one of the longest speeches Heero has ever given.

“Wow,” Duo says. “That was almost a monologue for you.”

Heero glares at him. “You know, Hamlet dies in this play, too...”