Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ Heero Yuy, Seventh Grade Teacher? ❯ Part VI ( Chapter 6 )

Heero Yuy, Seventh Grade Teacher? Part 6
Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing, or Heero Yuy, no matter how much I keep telling myself that.
You might want to read the second omake for this, because it's heavily based on it. And read my notes at the end, please. They should explain a few things to people who are clueless about this story.
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Trunks and Goten glanced at one another, then at the doorway to their classroom. Both boys were nervous and expecting their history teacher to walk into the door at any second and catch them holding a very incriminating video disc in their hands. Rather, in the hands of one Trunks Vegeta Briefs. Many of their classmates heard about what became of their beloved teacher during the spring break, and they had a feeling it had something to do with the two boys standing at the front of the class.

"Goten, I don't think he's coming anytime soon," Trunks whispered to his best friend. While Trunks was rather confident in making that statement, Goten wasn't as sure of it. Nervously, he glanced from the doorway to the video disc in the hands of the purple-haired demi-Saiyajin, then at the rest of his class. He decided that if they were going to suffer through yet another torturous punishment dealt out by Mr. Yuy, they might as well get some fun in while they still could.

"Ok, Trunks-kun," Goten replied sadly as he held his hand out to receive the video disc. Trunks all too happily handed it to him, and Goten stepped forward. He had to dodge out of the way of several paperballs that some people threw in his general direction, but regained his composure once the immediate threat of being attacked by paperballs passed by.

"Ladies and gentlemen," he began, stealing a few glances over at the door once more to make sure Mr. Yuy wasn't walking in. "As most of you know, our dear teacher was arrested over the spring break. Trunks and I helped get this horrible man put behind bars, where he belongs." Once more, he stole a glance over to the door, suspecious that the teacher he helped throw in jail may be lurking about and listening to his story.

Trunks noticed the apprehension on his friend's face and decided to take it from there. "My fellow classmates, what we are about to present to you will shock you," he said, with the Vegeta smirk running across his face. He pointed to the video disc on Goten's hands as he continued. "On this video disc, you will see what we saw, hear what we heard, and discover things about our teacher that you never wanted to know." He nodded over to Goten, who walked over to the TV cart in the room. He opened the video disc player and popped the disc in. He rolled the cart to the front of the room, so the rest of the class could have a good view of the documentary, then handed a remote control over to Trunks.

"Thank you, Mr. Son," Trunks said. He turned his attention back to the class. "We conducted this documentary during spring break so we could humiliate Mr. Yuy after we came back to school. However, things took a turn for the worst, as we all know. Now, we shall show you the horrible truth of it all." He hit the "play" button on the remote control, then took a seat at Heero's desk.

The class was silent and kept their eyes fixed on the small TV screen in front of them. They watched as Heero frantically ran all over the apartment he shared with Trowa and Duo, looking for clothes, laughing when Trowa made the astute observation of Heero's Sailormoon boxers, his indecision over which set of tank tops and spandex to wear, and the fight with Wufei he got into at Le Chambord. But, once they got to the edited part, with Heero committing his "murder", they were in shock. When the documentary was over, Trunks and Goten stood up and turned on the lights.

"That, my fellow citizens," Trunks said with fake sadness. "Is what REALLY happened to our dear teacher, Heero Yuy. He killed our beloved headmistress, Miss Peacecraft. God only knows what he's--"

"Mr. Vegeta-Briefs, what in the world is going on in here?" boomed a normally monotone, cold voice. Shivers ran down the spines of the children in Heero's history class as the turned their heads towards the door. Goten shrieked once he had a glance at the person standing at the door. Trunks was also scared, but maintained a calm look as he stared at Heero. Heero stomped rather angrily into the room, carrying with him a plastic bag.

"Why, Mr. Yuy!" Trunks exclaimed, jumping out of Heero's seat and over a mortified Goten. "What are you doing back here so soon?"

"Let's just say I got some things resolved that led to my release," Heero replied, glancing at the students in the class. Several of them couldn't speak, and simply stared at their teacher. Others glances at the bag and assumed that Heero was hiding something in it. Finally, one gathered enough courage to ask Heero about the contents of the plastic garbage bag.

"Mr. Yuy," piped up the infamous Duo-lookalike. Heero threw the boy a slightly milder version of his death glare. The boy shivered, but decided that the question needed to be asked. "Um, I was wondering... what happened to Miss Peacecraft?"

"Let's just say that Miss Peacecraft is... indisposed of at the moment," Heero replied, taking a seat at his desk, but not without checking to make sure super glue wasn't liberally poured on it. The other students in the class gasped. Were they really hearing what they thought they heard? Did their teacher just admit to killing Relena Peacecraft, the former Queen of the World?

Trunks and Goten looked at each other and smirked. Mr. Yuy's comments had opened up a whole new world of opportunities for them. Goten looked over at his teacher, then raised his hand.

"What is it, Mr. Son?" Heero asked as he fumbled with the plastic bag. He was trying to open it to get something out.

"Mr. Yuy, what's in the bag?" Goten asked nervously, He, too, was afraid of seeing something come ouf the bag that he REALLY didn't want to see.

"Something that will interest you," Heero replied absentmindedly, as he continued fighting with the knot in the bag to open it. Murmurrs arose within the normally silent classroom among his students.

"He's got Miss Peacecraft's body in there!" whispered an orange-headed child with fang-like teeth, "I bet he cut her body up into little pieces!"

"He had to!" another boy with dark hair and golden eyes exclaimed as softly as possible. "He probably wants to show us Miss Peacecraft's head, just to let us know that he DID get away with her murder!"

"That's disgusting!" a girl that looked like a raven-haired Sakura squeeked. Apparently, she squeaked a little too loud, since she managed to get the attention of one very annoyed Heero Yuy.

"Isn't one of my rules NO TALKING?" he snapped. "Open your books to page 666 and start reading about the assassination of the colonial leader Heero Yuy and the effects his assassination brought to both Earth and the colonies."

"I bet he's a Satan worshipper," whispered the Duo-lookalike. "That's why he killed Miss Peacecraft, to offer her as a sacrifice to the Devil."

"And in a follow-up ceremony, he'll burn her body piece by piece," replied the orange-headed fang boy. The other students nodded in agreement and stared at Heero, who was still trying desperately to open the plastic bag.

"Damnit, if I could ONLY get this open, I'd show them all," the Perfect Soldier mumbled to himself. Trunks and Goten glanced at each other and decided to try and get some information out of him.

"So, Mr. Yuy," Trunks piped up. Heero ignored the purple-haired boy and continued fumbling with the bag. "What's in the bag?"

Heero glanced up and gave the boy a cold stare, then smirked. "Something that you'll find very enjoyable."

"Oh my GOD!" the Duo-lookalike exclaimed in a loud whisper. "He thinks we're going to like seeing Miss Peacecraft's body--"

"CUT INTO SMALL LITTLE PIECES!" burst out the fang boy in response. Heero shot the poor child one of his infamous Death Glares©.

"What in the world are you talking about?" he growled. The fang-boy trembled in response, obviously too afraid to answer the supposed psycho killer. "Be quiet, and read the chapter." Heero went back to fumbling with the bag, and finally managed to open it. Several students in the class gasped, awaiting what the 'surprise' with terror. Heero reached his hand into the bag and--

"HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRROOOOOOO!" bellowed a familar, slightly annoying voice. Heero cringed as a force of habit, and threw another Death Glare© towards the doorway. In bounced a rather pale looking Relena Peacecraft.

"HOLY SUZAKU!" the Duo-lookalike sputtered, "It's the ghost of Miss Peacecraft!"

"She's come back from the dead to warn us about Mr. Yuy!" shouted another student. Chaos and Panic took over the normally orderly classroom, as Trunks and Goten looked at each other and facefaulted. Boy, were they REALLY in for it THIS time.

Heero couldn't handle anymore of the mayhem that took over his classroom. He whipped out his gun for the first time since the beginning of the semester, and shot several rounds into the ceiling. Luckily, his classroom was on the top floor of the middle school complex of the Academy. The classroom immediately became silent as the pupils stared at Heero and Relena, wondering why Relena wasn't as dead as she was supposed to be.

"Um, Mr. Yuy," Goten stammered. "Could you please show us what's in the bag?" Heero sighed, reached back into the bag, and produced several history books.

"They're college level books that I 'borrowed' from Sanq Kingdom University," he explained. "Hopefully, I can get something out of them for you to use in this class."

"I thought Miss Peacecraft's body was in the bag, cut up into little pieces," piped up the slow kid in the class. Everyone turned to glare at him with the "SHUT UP" look on plastered on their faces, while Heero made his Death Glare even harder.

"What possessed you to come up with THAT idea?" Heero asked in his rather miffed monotonish voice, immediately throwing an even meaner Death Glare towards a certain pair of demi-Saiyajins.

"Well," the slow kid began with a goofy smile. "Trunks and Goten showed us this documentary they did of you while they were on spring break, and--"

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"Goten, this is all your fault," Trunks snapped. Both boys were strapped to dry ice, hanging upside down from the ceiling and with revolving wheels covered in feathers tickling their feet. Part of their punishment was they couldn't laugh, no matter how fast and hard the feathers tickled them.

"HOW IS IT MY FAULT!?" Goten snapped. "It was YOUR bright idea--"

"Shut up, both of you," Heero growled, increasing the speed on the wheels. Goten released a small giggle, but quickly halted it. Trunks bit his bottom lip to keep himself from laughing and further prolonging their torture. Heero glanced up at both of the boys and smirks, opening up the newspaper to read it once more, looking for a new job to get him out of and far away from Peacecraft Academy.
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Lotsa, lotsa author's notes down here. It's mainly common gripes that drive me up the wall, since we all know this is a humor fic, not something that I'm trying to make canon for either DBZ or GW.

[1] Yeah, in a perfect world, Trunks and Goten wouldn't be scared of Heero in the least. They ARE half-Saiyajin, after all. But, there's this amazing thing that allows me to do this to them. It's called HUMOR. You see, the reason this story is FUNNY is because they're scared of him. Really scared of him, a mere human. If you want to see them beating the crap out of Heero or someone, go read something in the DBZ category.

[2] Most of the gripes I get about this story pertains to the "Saiyajin" thing. No, it is NOT spelled wrong, and it is NOT "Saiyans", unless you're going by the DBZ dub. I don't follow the DBZ dub, and I choose to use the Japanese spelling (if you want to call it that) of the race's name. So please, stop sending me all sorts of silly e-mails and flames about that.

[3] Oh, and be sure to check out my latest fic. I'm co-authoring it with Mistress Maxwell, and it's called "Neo Gundam Wing: Paradox". I wish I could give you a link for it, but I think FF.net strips the HTML code right out of stories now, or something. :| So, put that little search engine at the top to use, and look for Neo Gundam Wing: Paradox and review it, alright? ¡Muchas gracias!

[4] Holy mother of God, I actually remembered this story EXISTED! Aren't you surprised? I'm not sure how funny people will think it is, since it HAS been nearly two years since I last wrote anything for it. Heck, it might not even be funny AT ALL. So, tell me what you think about it, once you click that review button below, alright? Or, if you'd rather scream at me about it more privately, IM me over the FF.net messenger or AIM, or you can send me an e-mail at paradox@vauss.com. No spam, please.