Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ Justitia ❯ Chapter 7

Justitia 7: Have a vision not clouded by fear. -Cherokee Proverb

can discover what your enemy fears most by observing the means he uses to frighten you. -Eric Hoffer

Wufei heard them step into the place where the bomb had rested, but he did not move, gaze fixed on what people were willing to make to get what they wanted. He didn't understand; could not see how anyone could justify what they wanted with what he was seeing. And yet, at the same time, he had wanted to stop them and look what he had done. He could not understand, but he was capable of the same action. It just confused him all the more.

As did Trowa's sudden appearance which he really did not want to think about. That little voice buried under all the stuff he was terrified of was jumping up and down and demanding to be heard and he knew the only way to get to it was to go through everything, and that was not going to happen. Not for a long time, if ever, if he had any say in it.

"Get up."

Wufei glared up at Trowa and wondered idly if he would have any say in it because regardless of what he thought his body was moving to obey; complying instantly to something in Trowa's voice. It wasn't authority, because Trowa sounded like he was a Sunday stroll. It was…an awareness of what Wufei needed that Wufei knew he himself lacked. It was understanding of some sort he could not comprehend.

"Idiot," Trowa frowned, grabbing hold of Wufei's coat and shaking it solidly, jarring just about every bone in Wufei's body. Wufei was sure the bastard did it that roughly on purpose and was about to snap at him when he noticed all the little ice crystals floating off him. He promptly shut up and wondered just how cold he was. He wasn't even sure how long he had been sitting on the ice, but he guessed he must have been well on his way to becoming a Popsicle. He decided he probably shouldn't try to argue with Trowa, not sure how hard his teeth would chatter if he unlocked his jaw.

"Anything?" Sally looked at the small pile of odd assortments he had managed to collect that were still sitting on the floor at his feet. Wufei leant over and picked up the small black steel box and handed it over.

Sally took a peek inside and raised a brow. Wufei just smirked, knowing full well the box was full of receipts. Someone had been a very efficient record keeper and he could only hope it worked in their favor.

Trowa poked him in the side but by the time Wufei had turned to glare at him he was already striding off toward the truck, having picked up the rest of the items Wufei had collected, so Wufei settled for glaring a hole in the guy's back as he strode along in his wake, Sally grinning like a goof at his side.

"You're not going to get rid of him that easily, Wufei," Sally noted, apparently amused by the entire day's events. Wufei just ground his teeth even tighter, stopping only when he feared he might actually shatter the caps, not wanting to be reminded what was underneath. It served as enough of a reminder to his temper that he was able to calm down, wondering not for the first time why he was so off balance.

"I don't need to get rid of what isn't there," Wufei noted coldly, stalking a little ahead of Sally, not wanting to see the way she just shook her head at him, that dumb grin still on her face.

Trowa was driving the bike into the truck when they arrived so Wufei just climbed in the passenger side, because Sally was waving the keys at him knowingly.

"What do we tell Une?" Wufei asked quietly, having no idea what the procedure was anymore. Had it been one of his missions he would have sent her the surveillance and headed home, leaving the follow up to some other poor chump. But this was not like those missions. This had not been….that hard. Nasty, yes, but not hard.

"We send her what we have, we get a copy of those receipts to intelligence and we wait and see if we're done."

Wufei scowled at that, not liking the idea of waiting at all. He just wanted to get back to work, get his next mission, by himself, and pretend he was not…so bloody weak.

"Sounds like a plan to me. This is, after all, my holiday." Trowa climbed up, forcing Wufei to squish between them. He had the odd feeling they were doing it on purpose, maneuvering him between them for whatever weird purpose they had conjured. Without knowing why Trowa was really there it was rather impossible to guess at their intent so Wufei stopped trying.

"Who takes a holiday to Antarctica," Sally noted as she started up the truck. Trowa just chuckled under his breath.

"Anyone who tries to think of a place Marie hasn't been?"

Sally laughed at that and it was odd, listening to their banter all the way back to base. Odd, because Wufei used to argue like that with Sally, and he used to look down his nose at Trowa like that, and yet he was suddenly outside it, somehow apart from it even as he was trapped in the middle. And Trowa was right; it did hurt. But that didn't mean he was going to give into it.

Marie was waiting in the garage when they got back and it made Wufei feel a little better when she simply waved at Sally and Trowa and came straight to him, hovering at his side like a skewed shadow. Wufei made to help unpack the bike with them but Sally just shouldered him aside and glared.

"No. Way. Room. Go."

He stared at her in shock, brain trying to figure out if she really had just told him to go to his room, because that was just…bizarre. He stood a little straighter as he glared, but she stood her ground just as she used to do.

"You're injured, whether you like or not, now get off that leg before I take you off it."

It was only the fear that she probably would take him off it, rather permanently, if he didn't comply, that made him back down and head for the room. Besides, who really wanted to do clean up anyway? He just wanted to type up the report.

"You find anything?" Marie was looking at him oddly, rather subdued. Wufei just shook his head.

"Why did you let Trowa into my office?"

Marie missed a step but caught up quickly. She was looking at her shoes and Wufei felt a slight twinge of guilt; he had not meant to make her feel uncomfortable.

"I was bored, and lonely, and he's really nice, and you always seemed to like him so I didn't think you would mind…" Wufei reached out and pressed a finger to her lips, stalling the words, letting a faint smile curve his lips and shaking his head minutely. It didn't matter. Marie sighed heavily in relief and it was enough to tell Wufei she was serious. She liked Trowa. And she was a rather spectacular judge of character.

"Trowa is…" Wufei frowned, not really wanting to say the words in case it made them true. "A good person."

Marie nodded enthusiastically as she raced ahead into the room he was sharing with Sally. She quickly held out his new boots and he obediently switched, dropping his coat at the door.

"Hey Fei…"

He looked up to find her staring about the room, a frown on her face that he did not like. He resigned himself, knowing full well she would get whatever it was she wanted.

"Can we swap rooms?"

"What?" She could not be serious. She wanted to…wanted him to…with…His brain had stalled completely as he stared at the small living space and the two beds. It would be like old times, only this wasn't then and he wasn't who he had been back then.

"Marie…" She just didn't know what she was asking.

"Fei, I'm a girl! I do not want to have to sleep two meters away from Trowa Barton, sexy as he is! I mean, geez, what if I drool in my sleep, or if I snore, or if I sleepwalk right on top of him?"

Wufei just stared at her, wondering when she had the time to think about anything of that sort and deciding it had to be a girl thing. Meilin had been the same, and Sally was still like that. He walked to the sink and poured himself a glass of water.

"Better you than me," Wufei mumbled under his breath, unable to banish an image of himself toppling onto Trowa's bed in the middle of the night. Marie was laughing at him, but he didn't care. It didn't bare thinking about, and he refused to do it.

Except Marie was looking at him in all seriousness and he just knew if he didn't give in he would never hear the end of it, and he would have to suffer through a week of watching her slaughter Altron with Heavyarms.

"Marie, it's…It's Trowa Barton!" As if that explained everything.

"Exactly," Marie echoed his tone, waving her arms oddly as if this really did explain everything. "I cannot sleep in the same room as Trowa Barton. Do you know what people would say about me? And I would never hear the end of it. Hell, even Une would probably ask me what it was like!"

Wufei choked on the mouthful of water he had just taken, finally seeing it from Marie's point of view. He knew it was somehow different, that she was not an agent and hence it wasn't `just work' for her. But still…what the hell did they talk about in that office? He had no idea, but apparently Barton was a good topic of conversation. Not that he really wanted to know that.

"You're going to be the death of me," Wufei muttered and Marie just squealed in delight as Trowa walked in the door with Sally.

"Fei's swapping rooms with me!"

Sally looked startled at first, then pleased. Trowa just looked…pleased. Wufei didn't like that look at all. It told him Trowa was planning something, and when Trowa Barton planned Wufei knew you were in trouble. Damn bastard could infiltrate anything, even your head, even your very skin…nothing was safe.

Sally put the items they had collected on the table and started sorting through. There was very little of interest. The receipts were the most important and she could handle that on her own, so Wufei grabbed his katana from behind the door and the small cleaning kit from his bag and sat down on the tiles under the sink.

Trowa tossed a pillow at his head. Wufei looked up, glare firmly in place but Trowa was bent over the table going through the receipts with Sally and Marie. So Wufei unsheathed the katana, pulled out the oil and towel and got to work.

It was a messy task and he managed to graze his finger on the blade more than once, but it was familiar, and it gave him time to settle, to not think and just be. Breathe in, and out, and wipe. It was a mediation of sorts and he welcomed it.

The quiet of the room was broken by the laptop which beeped loudly with a communication request. Trowa reached out and hit the accept key but Wufei was too low to the ground to see the screen.

"Une told me to report to Po for some intelligence work?"

Wufei groaned. Of all the people she could have assigned to the case, why did she have to assign Heero Yuy? This day was just getting worse. Wufei wished he had stayed in bed, that he had not picked up the phone when Sally rang, that he had let that guy shoot him in the head last mission, or that he had made a different decision in Russia. Hell, he wished he had lost to Treize…Anything but having to sit through today.

"Yuy," Trowa acknowledged and they proceeded to spend the next hour scanning every photo they had managed to take that had anything to do with the case, including shots of each receipt and a report on their deductions, with Wufei on the floor the whole time. Wufei dared look up only once only to find Trowa looking at him, his face almost completely hidden behind his hair, only his small, knowing smile visible. Wufei had looked back down at his katana and randomly decided to stain the blood out of the grip, knowing full well it would take hours.

The next time he looked up it was to find the room blessedly quiet, the girls gone, Trowa still in his chair, arms folded across the table, chin resting on one lax hand, looking at Wufei with that same weird look. Wufei had no idea how long he had been sitting there like that, but the sky was dark outside.

"Sally's taking her stuff to Marie's room and brining my stuff back," Trowa explained quietly, sitting up and stretching. They'll bring some dinner back."

It all seemed so easy, with Trowa there. Wufei would not have even thought of food, too tired to care and mind still churning over the thought that Heero Yuy was their intelligence on the case. Couldn't the guy be weak for five seconds? Wufei was sure he had heard he was shot, after all.

Trowa got up and walked around the table, leaning a hand down. Wufei stared at it, shifted slightly and realized his leg was too stiff to get up on his own. Frowning darkly, he took the hand and let Trowa pull him up. He even let Trowa take the katana from his hands and prop it up against the wall in the corner.

"Sal said I should change the bandages."

"I can do it myself," Wufei ground out, already heading for the bathroom when Trowa grabbed hold of his wrist and pulled him around toward the table.

"I don't doubt you can," Trowa said softly, but the grip on Wufei's wrist did not lessen and Wufei knew that was the end of the argument but he couldn't let it go. There was something in him that refused to let go; that was pulling away in terror. His weakness was showing and he couldn't stop it.

"I don't want you to see," he murmured, turning his head to the side, not wanting to see the look on Trowa's face; knowing Trowa could see. Knowing Trowa knew he was weak. A fraud.

Slender fingers shifted his head around until he had no choice but to look at Trowa and that part inside him that was terrified sent a shudder though his whole body because he could not tell what Trowa was thinking but it didn't look like contempt.

"I don't care what you want, Wufei," Trowa said carefully. "All I care about is what you need."

"I don't need you to see me!" Wufei snapped and he couldn't keep the shiver from running through his limbs. He had not been so lost in a long time; had not been so incapable of holding himself together. Whatever Trowa was doing to him he didn't think he liked it and it was happening too quickly, shifting him completely from his small sphere of control and tossing him in an ocean of uncertainty. An ocean that had damned near drowned him once before and he never wanted to see again.

"You don't know what you need, Wufei!" Trowa snapped back, matching him glare for glare and Wufei was forced to realize something. Wufei was weak with Trowa near. But Trowa was stronger here. Trowa feared not knowing; feared not being right where he was. The closer he got, the weaker Wufei would become, and the stronger the hold Trowa would have. And he knew he could not win.

"You're going to break me." Wufei fell against the table, dropping his gaze, ceding to Trowa. His wrist was grabbed and he let himself be tugged to the bathroom.

His hands were smooth, clam, sturdy and gentle as they pulled off layer after layer, and Wufei let him, because he didn't have a choice. It was cold and he shivered, but Trowa didn't falter, fingers finding the skin, and Wufei couldn't help but watch him as he studied the flesh. Those hands traced over the scars on his arm, across the holes now filled again in his chest, dipped across the dent in his gut, traced the lumps on his feet. They unbound the bandages and gauze and whispered over the fresh wounds before cleaning them out, never flinching as Wufei shuddered under the renewed pain, wrapping him back up in clean cloth, fingers constantly trailing back to the marks Wufei would not erase; to the proof it had not been some terrible dream. Running his fingers over the memories, somehow reaching into that vat of terror inside as he helped Wufei dress again.

When he was done, Trowa's fingers still lingered on the arm, and Wufei knew Trowa had sensed it; had sensed that it was the core of his fear; the heart of his weakness. Wufei hated it the most, of all of his scars, of all the things done. The others he could erase in the memory of the pain, but the arm…the arm had come first. The arm had been the start and he feared it would be the end. Sharp but slow; paralyzing.

Arms came around him again, as they had that morning and Wufei felt the confusion again; the untrusting heat that coursed through him and demanded to know why he was here. Why now, where he hadn't come before. But that little voice was there, telling him there was a reason and that he knew it and that he had to accept it. Because there wasn't a choice…

"I'll put you back together again," Trowa promised, the words so soft, mere breath, Wufei barely heard them right by his ear. Something stung in his eyes but he pushed it away, reaching out instead, wrapping his arms about Trowa's neck and burying his face in the warm shoulder, trying to push it down, to pull the pieces together and knowing that one day soon it wasn't going to work, because Trowa wasn't going to let him. And for the first time he thought that might not be such a terrible thing. That maybe you to get weaker to get stronger.

That maybe he could be put back together.

Trowa let him stay there until he pulled back. He couldn't bring himself to look up at Trowa's face, but the way Trowa's hand threaded through his hair and tugged gently on his ponytail was reassuring. They left the bathroom to find Sally and Marie already dishing up dinner on the table.

"Well, would you look at that," Sally grinned. "Porridge again!"

Trowa snorted at that and grabbed a bowl of it before going to sit on the bench by the sink, leaving the extra chair for Wufei.

"No problems?" Sally asked, pointing to his leg which had copped the brunt of his injuries. Wufei just shook his head and grabbed a bowl, dishing up a small serving, not really hungry. Marie was looking at Trowa, an odd look in her eyes and Wufei idly wondered if there was actually some small amount of truth to Marie's reasons for wanting to swap rooms.

They were halfway through dinner when the laptop beeped and Sally instinctively reached out to connect the call, revealing Une. She raised a brow at them all and actually quirked a wonky grin as she studied them through the vid screen.

"Is the food good?"

"No," they all chorused and Une chuckled, waving a pile of paper at them.

"Yuy and Maxwell just dumped this on my desk. There should have been another bomb. We want you to go back and check it out."

"Une, it's nighttime here," Sally pointed out but Wufei was already moving, grabbing his katana from the corner and pulling out yet another jumper from his bag, wishing he had bought more clothing. These were going to wreak long before he got anywhere near a washing machine.

"Sal, we're talking an Atomic bomb here," Une pointed out, matching Sally's tone perfectly.

Sally sighed, stealing a glance at the window and the pitch mass of nothing without. If they survived the night it would be a miracle.

"Barton?"

Trowa shifted into the line of view of the small camera on the laptop, looking, for the first time since his arrival, a little confused.

"Your last case…did you hear anything about something called the Lotus project?"

Trowa's face went blank and Wufei knew he was thinking about it, running the past few months through his mind in a way that was uniquely his. Eventually he nodded, narrowing his eyes as he dredged the information up.

"I stole a copy of the base concept at some point…it's in a disk stash at...Notre Dame I think. Behind the Mary statue beside the organ in the choir box."

Une just nodded and they all knew someone would be on their way to collect it within the hour. No one questioned what Trowa had been doing in France. Wufei didn't really want to know, especially if Trowa's missions were anything like his own. Trowa appeared to be the only other person inside of Preventers who worked alone for extended periods of time.

"Wufei…?"

Wufei stepped back into view, wondering what she could possibly want from him. She seemed to be hesitating, fingers playing with something just out of view. Eventually she sighed, pushing her glasses up her nose and Wufei knew something rotten was coming.

"Do you remember the house of Randolph Kersh?"

Wufei blinked, wondered if he was supposed to know who the guy was, blinked again and felt like someone had punched him in the gut. An image came to mind; a memory surfacing with an almost audible plop as he felt dirty, bloody hands dig into his jaw, already slick fingers plunge into his mouth, grabbing hold of his tongue, slamming his face into hard wood…He stepped back reflexively, wrenching his head away both memory and the present. A hand landed on his shoulder, steadying, but too similar to the hands holding him down and he felt the blinding spasm of pain through his mouth, tasted the tang of the blood…his blood…

He stumbled to the sink, shoving his mouth under the tap and gulping the water down, spitting it out, drinking more, but the taste would not go away. He could hear them all, the Russians taunting him from all directions, the blinding pain in his gut, the total numbness in his arm, and he could hear the other agents, words garbled as they swore at him, told him what they really thought; told him how truly weak he was.

He collapsed against the sink, stumbling to his knees, mind reeling, unaware of anything in the background. There were hands, hands everywhere, pressing down on him and he knew he was panicking, knew he shouldn't lash out but he did, blindly and cruelly and they left. He thought he had won, but something stronger than hands came back and arms locked his own to his sides, pulling him back, pulling him down, holding him still and the whispers were too loud in his ear.

"It's okay, it's not happening, its past, you're safe, it's just me, calm down, breathe, be still…"

They were not the whispers he was expecting. He felt compelled to do as they said and he took several deep breaths and the memories faded until he realized he was staring at Trowa's stomach, completely trapped, unable to move. He shifted and Trowa loosened his hold only enough for Wufei to meet his gaze. There was a dark red mark on Trowa's chin and Wufei could only assume he'd clocked him a good one. He winced at the thought and glanced aside, to find Sally holding back a rather pissed looking Marie.

"Let him go!" Marie squealed and Sally sighed as she released her, Marie bolting to kneel in front of Wufei, arms winding about his neck as she planted a kiss on his cheek, tears running down her face. Wufei had never seen her cry. He wanted to push her away, knew he was not out of the memory yet, that it had not yet run its course, but he couldn't cause her pain. Could not follow in everyone else's footsteps and push her away. Besides…her tears were for him.

He shuddered as the memory continued to play, moving on to the house, and he forced himself to watch, to recall and remember, because there was something there that Une wanted. And he forced himself to remain still, muscles corded too tight, and Wufei sensed that moment when Trowa knew and Trowa's arms tightened again, pinning him down, and he met the green gaze over Marie's head and just begged it to be over, because he didn't want to remember what had been done, nor what he had done in return. A dragon's justice was never kind.

When he had had enough he turned to Sally, who was at the table, talking quietly with Une, leaving Wufei in Trowa's hands. Wufei wasn't what to make of that, that the person he had trusted with his life had so easily and readily handed him over. It could mean many things.

"What does she want to know?"

Sally turned in her chair to look at him as he pushed himself away from Trowa and pulled Marie off him. He took a deep breath, pushing it all back down, locking the gate tight, refusing to let them all out. His face was burning with embarrassment that anyone had seen him in that state; that the state of his nightmares had somehow broken free into reality in a way it had not done in months. Since he put the last one in his grave.

"In the bedroom, was there anything peculiar?"

Wufei frowned, trying to isolate the room from what he had done inside it.

"There was a small carpet. When I trod on it there was a ringing sound, like metal. The room was not on the ground floor, but there was no way from the lower level into the room that would have been under the bedroom," Wufei said coldly, wondering what had stopped him from trying to figure out what was in that room. Une was nodding, scribbling on her pad and Wufei knew there would be someone off to Russia within the hour. France and Russia. It probably added up to something but Wufei could not begin to imagine what it was, lacking all the pieces of a much larger puzzle, so he left it to Une.

"Wufei?"

He groaned inwardly wondering what other madness the day could hope to heap on him.

"Thank you." And she cut the connection, leaving Wufei to stare at the screen in quiet shock. Lady Une, head of Preventers, did not just thank Chang Wufei.

He turned slowly to face the others, feeling a fool, and a fool without any control at that. A weak fool without any control. Shaking his head, he picked up his katana from its place by the sink, glad he had not decided to use it in his temporary insanity.

"I don't suppose I can talk you into staying here," Sally noted wryly, grabbing her coat and heading out the door. Wufei didn't even bother shaking his head; needing the cold. Needing numb.

Marie took one look at them all and reached up to kiss Wufei goodnight before rushing out the door and down the hall. Wufei breathed out in relief once she was gone.

Trowa's hands grabbed him from behind, one tangling in his hair, the other landing on his arm, sending a shiver through Wufei.

"He's dead?"

"Very," Wufei replied coldly. Trowa merely nodded, shrugging into his jacket and heading for the door.