Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ Justitia ❯ Chapter 16

Justitia 16: confused- being unable to think with clarity or act with understanding and intelligence.

Trowa could not shake the feeling that something was wrong. Wufei was distracted all the way home and his own mind was nagging nonsense that he couldn't make heads or tails of. It was the feeling he often got when he had not quite completed a mission, or when he wasn't sure everything was going to go quite as he planned, which was never a good thing. Trowa liked things to go exactly as planned, because his plans were indestructable.

"You okay?" He wasn't sure if his unease was Wufei-related or something external, but finding out Wufei's state of being would go a long way to putting his mind at rest.

"I'm tired," Wufei admitted and it was a sign of how far they had come that he would admit it to Trowa so he couldn't help but smile, accelerating a little with a new desire to get home a little sooner.

But the feeling that something was not quite right did not fade, even after they were in the apartment and Wufei was carefully locked away in the bathroom, the shower running. Trowa grabbed a soup mix and tossed it in the microwave while he brewed some tea, mind churning over the possibilities, but with the week he had had it did not surprise him that he couldn't figure out what it was.

The bathroom door opened and he motioned for Wufei to sit down as he dished up the soup. Wufei didn't bat an eyelid at the five-minute dinner, which proved to Trowa that `tired' actually meant `just about ready to fall unconcious'. He made fast work of his own bowl and went to the bedroom to grab Wufei's meds, tucking the sleeping pills under his pillow just in case.

Wufei had pushed the bowl aside still half full, but Trowa didn't argue, simply putting the pills in Wufei's hand and grabbing a glass of water.

"This isn't a good idea," Wufei said softly, but he took the pills and the water to wash them down with. Trowa just stared at him, wondering what he meant. Wufei definitely had something on his mind but was aparently as oblivious as to what it was as Trowa.

So Trowa forced himself to forget about it as he gently took Wufei's arm and guided him to the bedroom. Wufei tripped three times and it made Trowa wonder just what the hell Sally was giving him, but if it worked he was not about to argue. Besides, the physical numbness was tiring Wufei so completely there was little sign of the mental pain he was accustomed to seeing. It was almost as if Wufei were too tired to care. So Trowa just pushed him into the bed, turned off the light and followed Wufei into dreamland, hoping Wufei was too tired for dreams to morph into something else.

When he woke for the third time to find Wufei sitting on the edge of the bed staring at the window he knew he wasn't going to get any more sleep that night.

"Bad dreams?" He reached out to pull Wufei back down into the bed, shivering at the cool air that rushed under the covers.

"No. Just thinking." Wufei was oddly relaxed and Trowa let his arms circle around the form, pulling Wufei on top of him until they were nose to nose. Wufei's eyes were wide but there was no fear there, only confusion and Trowa heard the words again that Wufei had spoken in Sally's office but he still had no answer. He had wanted to hug Wufei all those years ago; to take hold and not let go because he had seen nothing but despair. Very little had changed since then and Trowa still wanted to take hold, not let go, but he wanted a very different type of hold. He just wasn't sure he could tell Wufei that. Not yet. Not until Wufei could stand on his own two feet, confident in who he was alone. That didn't mean he couldn't lay the groundwork.

"Is this okay?"

The surprise faded quickly, replaced with curisoity and Trowa could almost hear Wufei's brain ticking through the sensations, cateloguing them and analysing their position. Eventually he just smiled, small and faint and let his head drop to Trowa's chest.

Trowa suddenly chuckled, a memory coming to mind and Wufei looked up to glare at him, his silence demanding to know what was so funny.

"I remember the first time I saw you," Trowa tried to explain. "You called me a moron. I thought you were the most arrogant prick I'd ever seen."

Wufei chuckled at that and they were remembering the same day, the same moments, and it felt good to Trowa, to know Wufei's thoughts, if only for a moment. It helped the worry recede a little, banishing the sense that all was not well.

"I couldn't believe you had fallen for the trap. I took one look at that mission and knew it was too easy, so I stayed behind the schedule to try and find Kushrenada. Not that that worked…"

Trowa smiled at that, bittersweet memories as he recalled watching Shenlong sink to the bottom of the ocean, knowing he hadn't succeeded but not minding. Because they had tried, survived and he knew that the next time would not have the same result. Knew Wufei would not let it; he was too arrogant.

"So arrogant," Trowa chuckled and was rewarded with a finger being stabbed into his side that only made him chuckle more. Wufei was still arrogant, but it was a tempered arrogance, honed through suffering and tragedy and Trowa still thought it was a good thing.

"Do you think if I had stayed with the schedule, that I could have stopped Heero?" Saved Noventa. Stopped the war before it really began.

"No. And even if you had Treize would have found some other way to take it to the next level. You were right, Wufei." Always right. "Besides, Heero would have just blasted you with his cannon and then destroyed the plane."

Wufei laughed at that because they both knew it was true. At that point in time Heero would have done anything to complete that mission; to follow the orders he had been told were right. Nothing Wufei, a complete stranger, had said or done would have changed that.

"I was wrong once."

Trowa froze, sensing pain, and fear and the old despair and he wondered what Wufei was thinking of and if he could prove Wufei was not wrong; if he could strip away the fear that he was.

"Oh?" He tried to sound disinterested, as if it didn't matter, but it was hard. Too hard.

"I didn't think they would destroy L5."

Trowa's arms tightened convulsingly and he shuddered, knowing there was no way to take that pain away. He had almost forgotten it had happened even though he knew it was the key piece that had led Wufei to believe peace might not be possible; that someone wold break it. They had all had something to go back to, but Wufei had naught but empty space to welcome his return. He alone had gone looking for a different place to test his peace and what a voilent choice it had been. And ironic. That he should end up in the one place Trowa had feared to go.

Home. Back to the beginning. To where he was no one. There was nothing more to be said, so they just lay there, in the cool silence, trying to forget that they had remembered.

They were still lying there like that when Trowa looked out the window to see dawn smudging the horizon.

The morning routine was oddly familiar, almost like de ja vu only there was cereal instead of soup. Wufei frowned again at the meds, but he took them and they made their way to the car. Trowa frowned ast the way Wufei was gripping the bannister on the stairs, wondering just how badly the meds were affecting him but he didn't dare say anything, knowing his concern would not be appreciated.

The drive was slow, boring and quiet. Trowa couldn't stop watching the way Wufei would felx and unflex each muscle, each individually, as if cataloguing its response to his mental commands. It was a sign of how uncertain Wufei himself was of his body's current capabilities and Trowa wanted nothing more than to get to the office and make Wufei sit down.

The garage was surprisingly full, as if every available agent had been pulled back in and it made Trowa's skin crawl to see that many cars. He shared a knowing glance with Wufei and they wasted no time getting to the foyer. The poor guy at the front desk looked ready to die of relief as he hurried over to meet them.

"I've been trying to call you all night! Everyone is waiting upstairs, please hurry!"

Trowa just stared at the man, wondering if he was okay and only Wufei hurrying for the elevator got him moving. The damned thing seemed to take forever.

"Something's wrong," Trowa noted, curious to see how Wufei would react. Wufei just glanced aside at him and made an odd affirmative noise in the back of his throat. It reminded Trowa so much of Heero he almost laughed. Almost.

The elevator doors opened to reveal three times the usual number of security guards and Marie at the secretary's desk, looking more than a little worried. She didn't even bother to say hello, just pointed at the door to Une's office with a concerned frown. Trowa and Wufei did not need to be told twice.

A collection of tables had been dragged in to take up most of the room and a projector was set up in the centre casting the image of the Preventer's blueprint on the wall. It was dark inside but Trowa could still make out the familiar faces of Heero, Duo, Quatre, Une and Sally.

"Sit down," Une snapped, voice laden with annoyance and a hint of rage. Trowa took a seat beside Quatre, Wufei taking the seat at his side immediately. Neither bothered to ask what was going on.

"So there is no sign of forced entry?" Sally asked and Heero shook his head, eyes dark and cold. Duo looked intrigued.

"And nothing is on the tapes." Sally, it seemed, was running through the facts, trying to break down whatever the problem was to get a clearer picture of the events, whatever they were. Trowa studied the porjection and frowned. It was an odler print, of the sub-levels. Seven was circled.

"What time was the call made?"

"0400 this morning," Duo supplied and there was no sign of the jester's mask he usually sported. Trowa frowned, wondering what had brought Shinigami out to play so completely.

"And the archivist called it in at 0200," Sally leant back in her chair.

"Two hours in minimum between the breakin and the warning," Quatre mused. "They could be anywhere in the country by now."

Wufei reached out and grabbed a file from the table and Trowa glanced over to check what had cuaght his attention. He couldn't stop his hand from reaching out to grab a page when he recognised it as the reportSally had filed from Antarctica. He flipped through it with a clinical air, but his hand froze over the page of inventory with one of the items circled in red.

"They stole the bomb?" Wufei glared at Une across the table and she just waved her hand. Apparently that was old news.

Trowa studied Wufei carefully; he was going through all the information spread out across the table and frowning darkly.

"The archivist who made the call's name was Sarah?"

The entire table turned to stare at Wufei. Trowa just groaned, realising what had been bothering them both so much since yesterday.

"Yes," Une said carefully, waiting for the catch.

"She had two others with her yesterday when she was cataloguing the contents. They were not archivists I had seen before. There is also no security feed below sub-level two. The janitors closet leads from the garage straight through to archives at sub-level three. They didn't need to break in."

"Fuck," was Duo's rather apt reply. Trowa leant back in his chair and sighed, knowing exactly how pissed Wufei was because he felt the same way. They had walked straight by them and said nothing. Had not even once questioned their presence. Had let them walk out of Preventers with an Atomic bomb.

"Were demands made?" Wufei asked coldly.

"They demanded we give them three individuals and all the Kersh assets," Une explained, but there was something in the way she spoke, in the way her hands rested so calmly in her lap and her gaze was aimed just past their eyes rather than straight at them that Trowa did not like.

"Which individuals?"

"Milliardo Peacecraft, Mariemeia Kushrenada and Wufei Chang."

Trowa wasn't sure he could breathe until he felt the air ripping through his wind pipe. He felt Wufei go tense at his side and his own hand snapped about Wufei's arm in reflex. He knew it was probably hurting, that he was holding too tightly but he couldn't stop himself. He was afraid.

Wufei leant in closer than he would have expected, close enough that Trowa knew only he could hear the words; only he could see the expression on Wufei's face as he smiled, both sad but knowing.

"It's alright."

But it wasn't, really. Not to Trowa. He had forgotten what it was like for someone to threaten the things he loved and the week had been too much of a rude reminder. He took missions that required him to spend extended periods away from those he cared about, but he didn't mind because he knew he was keeping them safe; that he was doing his part in preserving what kept them from harm. But those same missions had blinded him from what he sought to keep from those he craved nothing but happiness for and now, even when he had pulled the blindfold away, someone was still trying to rip it from his arms.

It wasn't okay, and it would not be okay until Trowa was able to ground every last one of them into nothing and then lock them up by themselves for all time so they could remember what he had done to them for every minute of every day for the rest of their, he hoped, very longs lives.

"Geez, Tro, there's no way we're giving them anything," Duo remarked, taken aback by Trowa's expression. It served to settle Trowa into a simmering rage which he could better direct into their efforts and for that Trowa was grateful as he lightened his grip on Wufei's arm, but snagged a foot around the leg of Wufei's chair, pulling it a little closer as he forced himself to be still and listen.

They were speculating, each throwing out ideas more outlandish than those that came before them, one after the other until Trowa thought his head would burst. Wufei's gaze was narrowing, sharper and sharper on the projection on the wall until Trowa thought he could snap it with gaze alone.

"What will they do, if you don't comply?"

There was silence, and then everyone turned to Wufei, incredulous. They had a bomb, Trowa thought. What did Wufei think they would do with it? But the way Wufei was staring at the projection made him wonder if maybe they were missing something. Something very important.

"Zechs, Marie and I have names synonymous with terrorism," Wufei noted, his tone light, devoid of emotion, as if he were talking about a Sunday lunch. "The Kesh assets are obvious; it's an empire of weaponry worth millions, but the names are different. They must want those names for a reason, so what are they willing to destroy to get them?"

The silence lingered longer and Trowa found himself following Wufei's gaze to the projection and finally began looking at the situation from the other side. If he were the terrorist, what would he do? What would he want? What would he be willing to do if he couldn't get what he wanted? What was it worth?

Everything.

If they couldn't take what they wanted, they would destroy it. Milliardo was safe, but…

Trowa looked to Wufei, horrified by the knowing glint in onyx eyes. Wufei knew; he knew and was just waiting for the rest of them to figure it out.

"Barton?" Une was looking at him over her glasses and with her question came the gazes of the others. He just shrugged, leaning back in his chair, giving in to the inevitable. Let them come up with the plan to deal with it and he'd decide if he wanted to play that way or make his own rules.

"The bomb is in the building."

"What building?" Duo asked, brow crinkling in confusion.

"This building," Trowa rolled his eyes to the ceiling, almost exptecting it to collapse on top of him. It wasn't like things could get any worse, not that he was challenging the power of worse.

"This building?" Duo looked from Trowa to the projection, shrugged and repeated himself. "Ah, this building. Great!" Heero gave Duo the dirtiest glare Trowa had ever seen.

"Are you sure?" Une asked and the way she shoved the glasses up her nose told Trowa she was about to switch; about to fall back into a pattern of behaviour he had never wanted to see again, and that Une had hoped never to see too.

"We're sure," Wufei interjected, not even sparing a glance. But Trowa smiled anyway, because Wufei had not hesitated to say `we'. Had not pulled away during the entire exchange and didn't need to look to know Trowa was right there, ready and waiting with a head just full of grande ideas. And the one his heart liked least was the one his mind told him would work.

"Give them what they want," he said softly, and Wufei stiffened at his side. All eyes in the room turned to him in shock. "Give them Wufei."

Eyes darker than night faced him then, judging, weighing him and it was all Trowa could do to sit there and not take it back. He could see the anger, and the fear, mingling to form some weird hybrid hatred within Wufei, but he also saw it banished, replaced with confusion and complete trust.

"Alright."

Quatre was looking at them both as if they had lost their minds. Duo and Heero didn't look please and Sally looked flat out furious. But Une's face lacked any emotion save a cold smirk, eyes hidden behind glasses that glinted silver in the dark room and there was the most imperceptible inclination of her head.

It went quickly after that, almost as if making up for lost time. The security guards came in with the list of equipment Heero demanded and they dressed as they planned, the combined wealth of their knowledge spewing forth. They took some perverse delight in plotting a way to break through Preventers headquarters, which they had no doubts was being monitored by the enemy. They had spent two long years making the building impentetrable and now were the ones dreaming of how to crack it open from the inside. The irony was not lost on Trowa Barton.

He strapped Wufei's vest on with his own hands, pulling Wufei into a corner where he could speak without fear of being overheard.

"You can do this?"

"Yes." But Wufei sounded distracted to Trowa and it made him take a closer look. Wufei was holding himself tightly, muslces corded tight around bone, completely unlike his usual mission persona. As if he were trying very hard to hold himself together. And Trowa remembered.

"Shit!" Hands grabbed hold of Wufei's shoulders spinning them together until they were face to face, unable to keep the anger from his face because they both knew Wufei had had no intention of reminding himself.

"I can do this, Trowa," Wufei said coldly, face hard and unwilling to give in. Trowa's fingeres just tightened, not willing to let go, and it was an odd stalemate as they glared each other down.

Trowa was confused. He wanetd Wufei to do this; knew there were few options and none that would open the same opportunities as this, but he also didn't want to let Wufei go. Didn't want to trust fate when it had let them down so horribly already.

Wufei's hand came up, surprisingly lax and gentle as it caressed the side of Trowa's face, swiping at tears that were not there as he smiled sadly. Knowingly.

"I have to be able to stand on my own, Tro."

And Trowa resigned himself to being confused, knowing perfectly well that there was no turning back; that he could not hold Wufei back. Because no matter how confused he became, he still knew it wouldn't be the right thing to do.