Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ Letters To The Gundam Pilots ❯ Chapter 3 ( Chapter 4 )

Tori: @___@ Sooo many questions…!

Kegawa: …so little time…

Tori: What do you mean 'so little time'? Two and a half hours in a car is time enough!

Kegawa: Then to the beach it is!

The Road Trip From Hell

Or

More Questions!

*in my driveway*

Tori: My laptop battery died because I never charge it… *opens her binder and picks up her pencil*

Trowa: So that's why you're actually using a pencil and paper this time? *climbs into the way back seat of the huge white van lovingly dubbed 'Peacemillion 2' and sits next to Tori*

Duet: I call shotgun! *doesn't bother to open the door, but rather attempts to dive in through the window and ends up winded, sprawled half-way on the dashboard, half-way in the open glove compartment with her legs still sticking out the opening*

Heero: As long as you're not driving… *rolls eyes and climbs into the drivers seat*

Duet: …I think I've got some internal bleeding going on here…

Quatre: Good thing I brought the first aid kit! *starts rummaging through it*

Heero: She'll be fine…

Wu Fei: Exactly. Anyway, we don't need another car crash. *sits in the middle seat*

Duet: You know for a fact that wasn't my fault.

[A/N: yes, she did actually get into a car crash]

Duo: *comes running out of the house, apparently afraid that we'd leave without him* YOU LOVE ME! *sits next to Tori, who KINDLY surrendered the window seat to Trowa*

Quatre: *plops down next to Wu Fei and shuts the sliding door* I hope everyone went! Last chance!

Heero: *revs the engine*

Quatre: Never mind. I guess we're leaving now!

Tori: *whips out the printed reviews* Who's ready for questions!

Emerin Mornlight of Rivendell asks: What is your opinion of the word 'spam'?

Quatre: I hate getting spammed…

Duo: It taste like crap.

*the two boys look at each other*

Duo: …are we talking about the same thing here?

Duet: I spam people.

Trowa: *looks up from the book he's reading* Spam: the infinitive 'to spam' means to send a singular message or communication repeatedly with the intention of annoying the receiver or over-loading his or her computer and causing it to crash. *goes back to book*

All: *blink blink*

*awkward silence*

Duo: Thank you, Captain Dictionary… I thought she mean the processed meat.

Emerin Mornlight of Rivendell asks: Do any of you have a liking for flamethrowers?

Duet: MEEE!

Duo: MEEEEEEEEEEE!!

Heero: Hn. I wouldn't trust you two with a potato gun…

Duet: But I have a potato gun.

Heero: Than I'm taking it away.

Duet: You gave it to me last Christmas.

Quatre: You did, Heero.

Heero: I was not in the right state of mind when I bought it, alright?

Trowa: Actually, you made it in the shed the summer before out of some piping…

Duet: A homemade gift! *clutches Heero's arm* How sweet!

Heero: *turns red* I'M TRYING TO DRIVE!

Tori: Interesting… I don't think you actually answered Emerin's question, but a few others were.

Silver Dragonstar asks: Heero, what are you really looking at on your laptop all the time?

Duo: Porn.

*car swerves wildly*

Heero: DUO! I'LL PULL OVER AND LET YOU OUT HERE!

Duo: So you're really looking at porn?

Heero: GOD NO!

Wu Fei: *muttering* …Duet's all the porn he needs…

Heero: What'd you say, Chang!?

Quatre: …? He's got his headphones on.

Duet: *leans seat back and grabs Fei's CD player* …it's not even on… WU FEI! *throws it at him*

Wu Fei: *throws the pillow he was leaning on at her, and a pillow fight ensues*

Tori: …they're so immature…

Heero: HEY! DON'T MAKE ME COME BACK THERE YOU TWO! I'LL TURN THIS CAR RIGHT AROUND!

Tori: Heero! Just tell us what you ARE looking at!

Heero: …

Trowa: Heero's a FanFiction.Net junkie.

Quatre: So are you.

Trowa: …

Duo: So that's why they're so quite…

Silver Dragonstar asks: Duo, what kind of hair gel do you use?

Duo: I don't use hair gel. ^___^ My hair is just naturally pretty! OOF!

Tori: Sorry, but if your head got any bigger, we'd have to evacuate the car.

Duo: S'ok. I have three shirts.

Tori: …randomly obscure…

Duo: No! I have three shirts on! It didn't hurt.

Tori: Oh… Alright.

Silver Dragonstar asks: Trowa, how can you stand not being able to see past your hair?

Trowa: *idly fingers his bangs* I can see past them…

Duo: It. You have a unibang.

Duet: Hehehe… That sounds so dirty…

Trowa: What? Unibang?

Duet: Yeah. Someone called you the 'banged boy' in one of their fics, and I thought it meant…

Trowa: *rolls eyes* Yeah, you would… Actually, my bangs aren't as long as they're always drawn…

Duo: Ye~ah they are…

Trowa: No…

Quatre: They're long enough to be considered a unibang…

Duo: Tro, they reach your NOSE!

Trowa: So do yours.

Duo: Only the ends. And they're not in big CLUMPS!

Silver Dragonstar asks: Quatre, do you actually have a mean streak?

Quatre: I don't think so…

Duo: Unless, of course, you put the forks where the spoons are supposed to go in the silverware drawer after being repeatedly warned.

Heero: …No more Darrel Hammond for you…

Duet: Hey! He was at the Presidential Congress dinner thing!

Tori: O.o* You people have a strange government…

Duo: WHERE WAS I!?

Heero: He told the same joke, too.

Duo: WHAT WAS I DOING SATURDAY NIGHT THAT I MISSED THIS!?

Heero: At, uh, two in the morning? Yeah, you were sleeping along with the rest of the house…

Duet: 'Cept me. *snort* Clinton was my all-time favorite president.

Silver Dragonstar asks: Wu Fei, will you go out with me? I like you despite your flaws.

Duo: BEEP! Illegal question!

Quatre: He's asleep anyway.

Duet: BEHOLD! Wu Fei's amazing ability to sleep anywhere at any time of the day!

Heero: His action-figure is self-defeating…

Duo: *does a rim-shot on his air drums*

Silver Dragonstar asks: Duet, what is you hobby?

Trowa: *cough*sex*cough*

Duet: *turns in seat and deathglares Trowa*

Trowa: *is struck by shoe that has miraculously achieved flight despite the Laws of Gravity and Evolution*

Tori: …you're "discreet coughing" needs a little work, buddy.

Duet: I write and illustrate doujinshi, but I'm not very good…

Heero: Drawings are great, but your stories need work.

Duet: What's wrong with the 'Guy meets girl. Guy makes passionate love to girl. Guy turns out to be gay. Girl wakes up with two guys in bed.' scenario???

Heero: …

Tori: Well, I'll admit it's original… Eh-heh.

Scythe195 asks: Duo, can I borrow Deathscythe Hell for a day? Or could you just kick someone's ass for me?

Duo: *eyes light up* SURE! ..oh… Wait. I don't have it any more… But I could run this person's ass over with my car!

Trowa: Resourceful. I'll give him that…

Scythe195 asks: Wuffer's, you know that 'Women are weak' thing was out in the 50s right?

Duet: HE'S ASLEEP! WHY DOES NO ONE KNOW THIS!?

Tori: …because there are only the seven of us in the car, Duet…

Duet: Well, GIMME YOUR CELL PHONE!

Tori: …

Quatre: I'll wake him up…

*Poke. … Pokey poke. … Pokkity poke poke poke. … JAB!*

Wu Fei: WHAT!?

Quatre: ^___^ Oh, good! You're awake!

Tori: Quick question, then you can go back to sleep.

Wu Fei: …do I have a choice?

Tori: *re-reads the question*

Wu Fei: *yawns* Not in China… *leans against the window again*

Scythe195 asks: Heero, do you ever get tired of getting paired up with Sailor Scouts?

Heero: …I don't read any Sailor Moon or SM X-over fics.

Tori: Fair enough.

Scythe195 asks: Quatre, do you have 29 or 31 sisters?

Quatre: 28 actually. Ira died.

Trowa: But they're all successful doctors and psychiatrists and pediatricians and such.

Quatre: Ira's in a better place! ^___^ I'm not gonna feel sad!

Scythe195 asks: Trowa, The Sands Of Time, The Waters Of Time… What's with this?

Trowa: *ker-blinkies* I… wouldn't know.

Heero: For some reason she thinks you do. Have any idea why?

Trowa: Not a clue… Sands of time would probably be an hourglass… and the waters of time a water clock?

Duet: This is genius at work, folks.

Scythe195 asks: Milliardo, do people ever get you confused with your other name?

Tori: I e-mailed him this question earlier. Here's his response;

Milliardo: Tori, why the random questions? Noin has a few times, but I haven't gone by Zechs in a long time. As for Preventer Wind… It has become something of a joke around the office. Ever see Captain Planet? Yes, I know Duet has. It's her fault. Muss her hair for me.

-Milliardo Peacecraft

Duet: Earth, Water, Wind, Fire, Heart! Gooooo… PLANET! Dun-NA-nun… CAPTAIN PLANET!

Braided Baka Girl asks: Heero, why haven't you killed Relena yet?

Duet: *deathglares Heero*

Heero: Erk.. Uh, Duet made me promise not to?

Duo: Or could it be that perhaps Heero has a thing for little blonde girls?

Heero: I don't like her! She's just a friend.

Tori: *looks up from notepad* Heero, that phrase died a long time ago…

Quatre: *waves hands* Contrary to popular belief, none of us hate her!

Braided Baka Girls asks: Duo, if you could have a pet GW chibi, what type would you get?

Duo: CHIBI DEATHSCYTHE!

Tori: ACK! You guys got those!? All I have is a Chibi Nataku…

Wu Fei: *blearily* Nataku?

Quatre: Go back to sleep…

[A/N: For readers' reference, it's about 11:30 in the morning, so there is really no good reason for him to be asleep.]

Braided Baka Girl asks: Trowa, where did you get so good at acrobatics?

Trowa: It's hereditary.

Duo: TURN THE RADIO UP!

Duo and Duet: *rock out to Aerosmith's version of the Spiderman theme*

Tori: …Well…That's obnoxious…

Heero: *looks up from air guitar and grabs the steering wheel* Uh, yeah. Just their kind of music.

Braided Baka Girl asks: Quatre, why did you pilot a Gundam in the first place?

Duo: Chicks. Chicks dig the Gundam.

Duet: They certainly do…

Quatre: My father was a pacifistic leader, but someone needed to fight for the Colonies. Besides, I made a promise to the Magunacs.

Tori: So girls really like the Gundams?

Trowa: You're one. You should know.

Tori: Yeah, but keep in mind this is your crazy AC and…

Duet: *deathglare*

Tori: Ah, right… No air conditioners. *nods* Okay.

Braided Baka Girls asks: Wu Fei, what other weapons can you use?

Heero: Wake 'im up again…

Quatre: Alright.

*JAB!JAB!JAB!JAB!JA-*

Wu Fei: A SIMPLE SHAKE WOULD DO!

Tori: I thought you were sleeping, Wu Fei! Oh well… While you're up, would you mind answering another question?

Wu Fei: *Ford Lost His One Shoe Deathglare* Shoot. Or I will.

Tori: What kinds of weapons can you use?

Wu Fei: Gun. Katana. Bokken. Nun chucks. Broken beer bottle… you name it, I can use it.

Duet: You forgot broken plastic utensils.

Trowa: What is with you two and broken plastic utensils?

Duet: Remember that time we both got sent home from school?

Trowa: Yeah?

Duet: It was because when we were going back outside after the bus incident, we sort of got into a fight in the cafeteria and ended up slicing each other up pretty badly.

Wu Fei: You didn't lay a mark on me!

Duet: Then what was that "She started it! She drew first blood! I was only defending myself!" when we got sent to the office?

Wu Fei: Alright. You may have nicked me.

Quatre: You're just lucky she has no fingernails.

Duet: Are you're lucky that you're just too damn cute to hit.

Rae-chan asks: How old are you now and what grades are you in?

Duo: We're all 18, except for Wu Fei and Quatre, who are still SEVENTEEN! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA-*WHAP!*

Quatre: Wu Fei! You're awake!

Wu Fei: I never got back to sleep…

Tori: Let's focus, people.

Heero: We're seniors. In high school.

Duo: And before you even ask; No, Tori does not teach at our school.

Duet: *raspy* De Bodega…

Trowa: Of liquor store?

Duo: As Duet has poorly demonstrated, we take Spanish anyway.

Shinigami Illusion asks: Wu Fei, the poofy pants... do you have massive embarrassing cellulites that would be clearly outlined if you wore anything tight?

Wu Fei: I do NOT have cellulites! I just like to be comfortable!

Duet: The correct term is "Floofy Pants" *WHAP!*

Wu Fei: THEY ARE NOT FLOOFY PANTS!

Shinigami Illusion asks: Duo, what's your opinion on hair bleaching products?

Wu Fei: So he could dye it back to his natural blonde color.

Trowa: Cut the blonde jokes, guys.

Quatre: Why is everyone so against blondes?

Duo: You touch my hair, you die.

Heero: Bad pun.

Duo: Sorry!

Duet: Hey, he could always pretend he was Milliardo…

Trowa: If we did the same to you, you'd look like Dorothy.

Duet: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Rebel w/o A Cause asks: Will any of you guys ever put up (real life) pictures of yourselves on the internet because some of us find it a bit hard to believe that you're actually alive?

Duo: Oooh, there are pictures… *looks at Duet*

Duet: Duo, I know you're looking at me, but DON'T say a word.

Duo: *macaroni and cheese grin*

Trowa: Actually, there are quite a few pictures of us up. There are one or two of us with the Bandai staff.

Quatre: *laughs* There's the ever-popular ones of Duet's one-woman picket-strike and sit-in at the Bandai company building.
Heero: The uh, one-woman sit-in was a bit self-defeating, ne Duet?

Duet: I SAID DON'T TALK TO ME!

Quatre: I think a lot of them got thrown into the cosplay section though, even though we don't dress like that on a daily basis.

Duo: I saw myself on a Duo Look-alike page once.

Heero: It's embarrassing how proud of that fact you are.

Duet: I saw myself on a Duo Look-alike page once.

Tori: Really?

Duet: No.

Iruka-Yuywell asks: Duo, if you had a son or daughter, what would you name him or her?

Duo: I said this already! Duell or Solo! Next question!

Tori: That wasn't nice…

Iruka-Yuywell asks: Heero, do you like Invader Zim? I think you're a bit like him.

Heero: Yes. That show is actually quite amusing.

Tori: So, the Perfect Soldier watches Nickelodeon?

Duo: Tori, you watch Nickelodeon…

Duet: I can see it now… Duo sitting next to him the cockpit, playing with his toes and singing the 'Doom Song' as Heero flies on to his next mission.

Duo: I'm gonna sing the doom song now! Doomdoomdoomdoomdoomdoomdoom…

Iruka-Yuywell asks: Wu Fei, I'm sorry for bringing up bad memories, but what was Merian like?

Wu Fei: Proud as hell, and pretty too.

Trowa: Have my ears deceived me, or did Wu Fei just call a woman 'pretty'?

Wu Fei: I was fourteen! What boy that age doesn't want a beautiful girl with them? It may not have been my choice to marry her, but I don't regret a moment of it!

Duo: So, does this mean Wuffie's not a virgin?

Wu Fei: *Deathglare x10000000* Don't test me, Maxwell.

Heero: You know you're not going to escape his question, Chang.

Wu Fei: *sighs* Yes, we did consummate our marriage in the traditional way…

All: O.o****************

Ryo Togero asks: To everyone, when are your birthdays?

Tori: Alright, let's go in age order…

Trowa: October 4th

Heero: January 17th

Duo: February 28th

Duet: March 2nd

Wu Fei: May 14th

Quatre: December 8th I'm a year younger.

Tori: ^___^ You guys rattled that off surprisingly well!

Heero: We've had practice…

Duet: Relena's is June 23rd and Milliardo's is August 17th for the record

Duo: And I was NOT born on April 1st!

Ryo Togero asks: I've heard rumors…does Wu Fei actually love Sally?

Wu Fei: We're…friends. I don't love her that way.

Tori: Yeah, isn't she a bit old for you?

Wu Fei: No, age is just a number. That's irrelevant. It's just, she's not my type.

Tori: I see.

Wu Fei: I'm not going to get to go back to sleep, am I?

Tori: No.

Ni'khali/Karra asks: What Pokémon would you prefer and what would you name it? ( Duo and Duet already answered)

Trowa: Me first? Uh…Entei, I suppose.

Wu Fei: Call me old school, but I like the original 151. A Gyrados named Nataku.

Duo: Fei, no one's going to call you 'old school' so stop asking.

Heero: Saw that coming a mile away… When I played the game, I had a MewTwo that no one could beat. Its name was Kojigoku.

Duo: It had a self-destruct attack…

Heero: All my Pokémon did.

Duet: I remember those battles quite fondly…

Quatre: ^___^ I like Eevee! It's so cute.

Trowa: Six Eevees… That was your team.

Duo: Which eventually evolved into an Umbreon, an Espeon, a Flareon, a Vaporeon, and a Jolteon.

Duet: And still ONE Eevee.

Quatre: They were all cute!

DeathdroidM3K asks: To all, who the hell is Duet?

Duo: We're still working on that. *WHAP!*

Duet: I am me? Clear? God…

Trowa: She was a preliminary-

Tori: You know what? It's in my profile, and a bunch of my stories, so why don't you take thirty-eight seconds out of your day and look before you offend someone, alright?

Duo: O.o* She's flaming her readers.

Tori: Despite my constant teasing, Duet's like a sister to me! No one questions who I am! Why should they feel the need to question who Duet is? Who the hell are YOU anyway!?

Wu Fei: Hey, don't jump on the kid. Just kick him in the shin and point him in the direction of some useful information.

Duet: Really, it's okay! It was a valid question. Poor kid probably crapped his pants.

Tori: -___- Yes, because I am so terribly frightening…

Duo: Okay, when you have that look on your face you are.

Trowa: Shhh, Duo.

Duo: I donwanna sit next to her any more.

Tori: I suppose I should apologize?

All: *nod nod*

Tori: …sorry…

DeathdroidM3K asks: Why don't any of you bleed the tiniest bit?

Duo: Dude, no one bleeds more than us.

Tori: Obviously someone has only been exposed to the 'cut' version of GWing.

Duet: Adult Swim past your bedtime?

Heero: Now both of you are being mean!

Duet: Sorry. I need to get out of this car.

Trowa: Is this what girls get like after 45 minutes of sitting?

Wu Fei: Someone obviously doesn't have English Lit. with her… She gets pissed about halfway through.

Duet: It's so looong! *laughs* Hey Heero! *mimicking teacher* New rule! If you don't write your name so I can read it, I'll be taking points off your test, as many as a regular question!

Heero: *mimicking Duet* *raises hand* Do we get bonus points for writing our names correctly?

Both: Whahahaha!

Wu Fei: No, the best had to be "Duet, that was a HORRIBLE sentence!"

Both: Wahahahaha!

Duet: Heh heh… Sorry, but I tend to lose patience with that teacher.

Tori: Can we pull over somewhere?

Heero: Next stop I will. Someone else can drive.

Duet: I-

Heero: Someone who isn't Duet.

Daine Yuy asks: Everyone, what is your dream job?

Trowa: Dream job?

Duo: Owner of Playboy.

Duet: I see you chose your seat wisely.

Duo: Hehehe… You can't get me!

Quatre: At least not without breaking the seatbelt laws.

Duo: Don't give her an incentive!

Heero: Dream job. Right. Uh, FBI Intelligence Agent?

Quatre: I'm studying to be a psychologist. I want to help people!

Wu Fei: Here's your first client. *kicks the back of Duet's seat*

Duet: Oh yeah!? And what do you want to be, Fuffums?

Wu Fei: *snort* A gourmet chef.

Quatre: Really?

Wu Fei: I like to cook! Why? Is it unacceptable?

Trowa: I thought cooking was a, and I quote, "woman's job".

Wu Fei: I only said that because I wanted you to make that lasagna.

Trowa: *crosses arms* Well, that's not the way to get me to do it.

Tori: Back on topic, anyone else?

Duet: I want to do some government work. You know, spy… Military… That stuff. And a substitute teacher on the side.

Trowa: Working hard to scar the next generation, huh?

Duet: Shut yo' mouth.

Trowa: Well, I'd like to be…

Quatre: Be what?

Duo: You can't do that and not tell us!

Trowa: Promise not to laugh?

Duet: Have we ever laughed at you?

Trowa: …

Duo: Hey, you're a funny guy!

Trowa: *sighs* I want to be a singer.

Tori: ^___^ That's so cute!

Duet: *actually succeeding in swallowing her laughter* Serenading Michelle, ne?

Trowa: *wings CD case at her head, but it bounces harmlessly off the back of her seat*

Chang Meiling asks: What are your plans after graduation?

Heero: College.

Wu Fei: This is assuming we all make it into one… *glances at Duo*

Duo: It's not that I'm stupid…it just that there's this long, uncomfortable silence during your interview that screams for you to make the strangest, loudest noise possible.

Chang Meiling asks: What colleges do you guys plan to attend? All different or the same?

Quatre: We made a promise that we'd all go to the same college, no matter what.

Duet: Guys, can I stay in the fraternity with you…?

All: NO!

Duet: Fine. Then you all have to stay in the sorority with me.

Duo: Hell yes!

Wu Fei: What makes you think a sorority would take you in?

Duet: They took Tori…

Tori: I'll allow it.

Duo: o.O You're refereeing now?

Chang Meiling asks: Quatre, what are the names of your sisters? And do you have any nieces or nephews yet?

Quatre: Are you going to make me name them all?

Wu Fei: Going through his family photos is like reading a yearbook.

Tori: Well, give us a few off the top of your head.

Quatre: Chloe, Melody, Serenity, Tabitha, Rory, Coltia, Jess, Megan, Annabelle, Lisa, Shenade, Margaret, Joan, Mary, *takes a deep breath* Alyssa, Robyn, Juliet, Sarah, Rhapsody, Serena, Jackie… Lily… and I can't remember the rest right now.

Duo: You don't remember all your sisters' names?

Quatre: I would if I saw their faces… *blushes*

Duet: *blink blink* I thought that was pretty good. I don't think I know that many people.

Trowa: Well, any nieces or nephews?

Quatre: Eighteen nieces, fifteen nephews. Soon to be sixteen! ^___^

AvaMar asks: So I can't have the kawaii little ferret thing?

Tori: Eh heh heh heh… You want a ferret? Ke cloned himself.

Duet: *rolls eyes* I don't understand why you have a FERRET muse when everyone else has bishounen and bishoujo…

Tori: You know how I like to be original. Anyway, now you can choose 1 of 9 (I'm keeping my buddy!) different colored furry snakes!

Trowa: Yet you keep the inevitable "bad chemistry" relationship…

Tori: …bite me, Trowa.

Kyra asks: To everyone but Duo… Is he really that annoying?

All sans Duo: YES!

Duo: Awww…

Emily Danielle Leigh asks: When are your birthdays? Duet and Tori too.

Duo: *looks at review sheet, then at Tori* Can I say it?

Tori: *nods*

Duo: *proudly* See above!

Tori: Very good. *pats him on the shoulder*

Heero: Actually, she asked for your birthday too, Tori.

Tori: Moi? March 10th.

Duet: Power to the Pisces!

Emerin Mornlight of Rivendell asks: Duo, are point ears on a girl a good thing or a bad thing?

Duet: Yes, Maxwell. Good… *brushes hair behind tiny, pointy-ish ear* …or bad?

Heero: Be careful how you answer this, grasshopper.

Duet: *frantic* Grasshopper!? Where!? *grabs Heero's arm* IS IT IN THE CAR!?

Heero: I'M TRYING TO DRIVE!

Duo: They're, for lack of a better word, cute.

Wu Fei: Ah, grasshopper has learned well the art of survival.

Duet: Can we not say 'grasshopper'?

Tori: *giggle* CRICKET!

Legola-Star asks: Now I feel bad for Kegawa. Can we adopt him?

Tori: Yes! Everyone can adopt a Kegawa!

Legola-Star asks: Who the hell is Michelle? (from last chapter)

Trowa: *blushes* …mind your business…

Duet: Michelle's Trowa's girlfriend.

Wu Fei: *sarcastic* I can hear the screams of frustrated rage as we speak…

Trowa: You know, you people can mind your own business too.

Duet: Not me. I know all that goes on in the guild!

Duo: And precisely how do you managed that when YOU'RE NEVER THERE!?

Duet: …I'm psychic… shut your mouth…

Legola-Star asks: Duet, are you hentai-oriented or something?

Duet: YESSIR!

Trowa: She's honest. You have to give her that.

Duet: Well, really, it depends on what you define as "hentai".

Tori: Quite true. What's your idea of hentai? Utena or La Blue Girl?

Heero: Glogo13 Queen Bee.

Duet: Miyuki-chan in Wonderland!

Heero: FAKE!

Duet: Tenchi Forever!

Heero: *looks at her* That was pathetic.

All: WATCH THE ROAD!

Heero: *swerves and honks the horn a few times* Damnit!

Legola-Star asks: Heero, will you go out with me?

Tori: *shakes head* I might as well delete the first chapter, ne?

Heero: Does that mean I'm exempt?

Tori: What? You don't like her?

Heero: I don't know her! Maybe if I got to know her I'd consider it, but…

Duet: WHAT AM I!? CHOP SUEY!? YOU KNOW MEEEEE!

Duo: *singing quietly* …I cry…when angels deserve to die in my… self-righteous suicide…

Heero: What?

Duo & Duet: *both look up* Nothing.

Heero: Uh, I was talking to Duet.

Duet: I said nothing!

Legola-Star asks: Duo, did you know I'm your evil (not so evil) twin?

Duo: I have a evil (not so evil) twin?

Duet: That'd be creepy…

All: *look at them*

Duo: … I AM IN NO WAY RELATED TO HER! *points to Duet*

Heero: Who wants McDonalds?

All: YEAH!

Duet: Then can I-

Quatre: I'll drive next.

Duet: *snaps fingers* Crapskies.

Legola-Star asks: Wu Fei, if you were drowning and the only way to save yourself would be to apologize to Duo for every threat on his person, would you do it?

Wu Fei: No.

Tori: But if we placed him in the actual situation, he'd cry like a baby and confess all his sins.

Trowa: I wouldn't be so sure…

Wu Fei: *nods*

Duo: *grumbles* There are so many I don't see how he could remember them all…

Wu Fei: Why is my life always threatened in these questions?

*Heero pulls into McDonalds, everyone gets their food, and we resume around the table*

Legola-Star asks: Quatre, if I gave you a million bucks, what would you do with it besides give it to charity?

Quatre: I…have a million dollars…

All: $.$

Quatre: Spread thin in many different accounts, mind you. I don't want to attract any unwanted attention.

Heero: And here we are driving a minivan…

Quatre: Anyway, if I had that kind of money to spend at leisure, I would probably, um…

Duo: She said no charity.

Quatre: …buy an obscure third-world country?

Tori: ¬___¬* You people and your "obscure third-world countries"…

Legola-Star asks: Trowa, margaritas or vodka tonics?

Trowa: Both.

Duet: I don't need alcohol! I'm high on life!

Heero: *punches her in the arm* Don't ever say that.

Quatre: Are you making fun of me?

Wu Fei: No, she's been saying that ever since math class last week.

Quatre: Since when have you been in all her classes?

Wu Fei: Since September…

Tori: Wait a minute. Tro, why both?

Trowa: Wu Fei's margaritas and vodka shots.

Duet: ^___^ We're drinking buddies!

Quatre: You guys really shouldn't drink. You're not even old enough.

All: o.O

Quatre: Well, you're not.

Duet: You know, he was the same way about PG13 movies…

Quatre: I was not!

Duet: …or was it NC-17 movies? *WHAP!*

Heero: Sorry, but you really deserved that.

Andrew Joshua Talon asks: Do you guys watch/like the anime Digimon?

Duet: I have, once in a while.

Heero: Not really.

Duo: ^__^ It's on sometimes after school!

Andrew Joshua Talon asks: If so, who is your favorite character?

Duo: *shrugs* I couldn't name 'em.

Tori: TK!!! He may have ruined my ability to metabolize pretzels, but I still love 'im!

Duet: Yes… We're not letting you go to Shoujocon this year…

Tori: I must see TK again!

Andrew Joshua Talon asks: Who is your favorite Digimon?

Duet: The kitsune! It looks like a Ninetails!

Tori: Cherubmon!

Everyone else: *shrugs*

Andrew Joshua Talon asks: To all the Gundam pilots; Relena bashing, what is it to you?

Duet: It's wrong, I tell you!

Heero: Why do people bash characters anyway? That's like picking on the defenseless little kids a school.

Duo: Which you certainly know a lot about.

Heero: Duo, you're far from defenseless. *calmly swipes Duo's French fries*

Duo: That right there is bullying!

Quatre: *dumps his fries on Duo's tray* Why can't people just find something positive about a character?

Wu Fei: A someone who often sees his name in a story's description at the beginning of a sentence the proudly boasts the fact that I will be beaten, get a nosebleed, or otherwise humiliated, I can easily say that character bashing is wrong.

Tori: *switches pen to other hand* Why such painfully long sentences?

Wu Fei: Sorry. Forgot you were still writing this down.

Tori: But what do you consider bashing?

Trowa: Just giving anyone a bad name. I don't mean something like making them the villain in the story, but making them the moron who can't form complete sentences and who spends their time either under the author/ess' giant basher mallet of doom or being avoided by the rest of the cast.

Tori: Okay, you can say a lot, but only because you talk slowly.

Andrew Joshua Talon asks: Duet, would you slip in this bouquet of red roses I was going to give to Tori, which I seemingly can't get in any other way?

Tori: Ahhh… *turns crimson*

Duo: Wellllll…. Lookie here.

Duet: Soitenly, AJ. Havin' some trouble with our security, I see.

Tori: *turns redder if possible*

Trowa: Tori, we're in the same boat.

Duo: MICHELLE!

Trowa: The key is to hit him very hard just when he's not expecting it, but when he still remembers exactly what he did wrong.

Heero: It's like training a dog.

Duet: *look of pure joy crosses her face* I got an onion ring in my French fries! ^_____^

Andrew Joshua Talon asks: Out of all the starships from various sci-fi shows and movies, which would you most like to have?

Duo: Ryo-ohki!

Heero: You just like the rabbit. Me? I'd prefer something more like the Yamato from Dirty Pair.

Duet: The Challenger.

Wu Fei: *snorts* I'll help you on board.

Duet: I was kidding, Fei. I'm thinking more along the lines of…the Heart of Gold.

Trowa: Mmm. *sips his soda* The Enterprise. No contest.

Quatre: *shakes head and smiles* Definitely the Bebop from Cowboy Bebop…

[A/N: Just as a side note, this joint is packed and we are getting some seriously strange looks because Duo laughs just a bit too loud sometimes]

Rona asks: Wu Fei, what is the worst nickname anyone has ever given you? (fanfiction authors, friends, ect.)

Wu Fei: Woochie-poochie-poo. It burns in my mind.

Duet: Hehehe…

Quatre: Who called you that?

Wu Fei: I don't even remember…

Rona asks: Duo, what is your all-time favorite Pokémon?

Duo: Articuno. I'm Angel Eyes's biggest fan!

Trowa: *collects the garbage onto his tray and dumps it in the garbage, accidentally dropping the tray in with it* Oops…

All: O.O BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Trowa: *hesitantly reaches arm in and tries to fish it out, nearly succeeding only to have the flap close on his poor fingers and make him drop it* Forget it. *sits back down at table*

Duet: For someone so damn smart, how did you manage that?

Trowa: …it's all in the wrists…

Rona asks: Quatre, what's your favorite coffee/tea house?

Quatre: *grumble* …not Starbucks…

Rona asks: Trowa, if you have no name, how come you have three?

Trowa: *furiously wiping garbage juice off his hands* They're not my names.

Heero: *snorts* Triton, Trowa, Nanashi…

Trowa: You tend to pick up a few along the road of life.

Tori: Very poetic.

Duo: On the road of life, there are passengers and there are drivers…

Duet: Buy a bike.

Tori: Very…

Wu Fei: …obscure.

Rona asks: Heero, when's your birthday?

Heero: I told you already! January 17th!

Duo: Geeze! Way to jump at her!

Trowa: No. That award goes to Tori. *pulls on his jacket*

Wu Fei: Leaving without us?

Trowa: Yes, actually. I have the keys.

Duet: Nooo! Don't leave us at the McDonald's truck stop from HELLLL!

Heero: Why is everything suddenly from hell?

Duo: I'm from hell.

Wu Fei: It's apparent.

Duet: Jack The Ripper sent letters from hell.

Quatre: The Chinese got tired of making everything?

Wu Fei: Amen to that.

Duo: Hehehe… Now all my shirts will say 'Made In Hell' instead!

We all make it back to the car and jump into our regular seats except for Quatre and Heero, who trade.

Rona asks: Duet, what shampoo do you use?

Duet: Bed Head, Herbal Essences… Anything, really. I'm not as hair-obsessed as people think. And it's not always braided either.

Quatre: But it is most of the time.

Duet: Hey! If you had to deal with this fro-ish mop every morning, you'd see why!

Tori: *giggles* Fro-ish…

Rona asks: Tori, how are you? And did you know I'm English as well?

Tori: A question for me! ^___^ I'm fine! I wasn't sure if you were English or French, though. Thanks for clearing it up!

Duet: *rolls eyes* …handled it like a pro…

Blossom asks: What are your favorite games?

Duo: Truth or Dare Jenga!

Wu Fei: *slants him a dangerous look* I hate that game…

Heero: That master of spider solitaire, right here.

Duet: Pokémon Blue. Best game ever!

Tori: I'd say "Let it go…" but to confess, I have my red version in my suitcase.

Duo: *gasp!* They let you on the plane with that!?

Duet-sama (c/o Blossom) asks: Do you like Pocky? And if so, what flavor?

Heero: Do we… like pocky…?

All: WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA…!

Tori: Hehehe… Hoo… Okay, guys. But what flavor?

Duet: *counting off fingers* Chocolate, vanilla, chocolate mousse…

Wu Fei: *picks up* …Strawberry, almond, coconut, pudding swirl…

Michelle asks: Why do you incessantly pick on Trowa and me? *deathglare Duo & Duet*

Duo & Duet: *taken aback*

Duo: Moi? Pick on you…!?

Trowa: *whaps him upside the head* Yes, you!

Duet: It's funny when Trowa blushes and gets all flustered.

Heero: And starts sputtering and gropes for something to hit you with…

Trowa: And it's hilarious when the two of you end up locked in the foyer closet with the death spiders.

Duo & Duet: ERK!

Duet: *hunkers down in seat*…arachnophobia isn't something to joke about…

Lyra Koshima asks: Duo, what is your favorite fast food restaurant?

Duo: Hiya, Lyra!

Wu Fei: …just answer the question…

Quatre: What's our exit?

Heero: Twenty-eight.

The car goes silent.

Quatre: Aren't we lucky it's a scenic route!

Duo: Any~way… I don't like fast food much, but it's probably DQ because they have ten-cent waters.

Duet: That joke never deserved to die… *swipes at eyes, pretending to mourn the joke's passing*

Aviolart@aol.com asks: Duo, how deep are your pockets exactly?

Duo: Do you mean the pockets in my jodhpurs? They go down to my knees.

Tori: *giggle* Domon…

Duo: BAM! Giant pockets!

Aviolart@aol.com asks: Which is better, Kyoto or Tokyo?

Tori: KYOTO!

Heero: Tokyo.

Trowa: What is with you two?

Quatre: Please don't fight in the car. Look, they're basically the same thing!

Tori & Heero: How can you say that!?

Quatre: It's just two syllables that got switched around. To Kyo/ Kyo To

Wu Fei: *murmurs* …he gets bonus points for knowing 'kyo' is a single syllable…

Heero: So that settles it. Tokyo is better.

Tori: *WHAP!* *smacks him with notebook*

Duo: …Canada sucks, but you don't see me whining about it…

Duet: Canada does NOT suck! Jenn lives in Canada!

Duo: Oh yeah! For that sole reason, Canada does NOT suck, but in fact RULES! *nod nod*

Duet: Right, then. France sucks.

Quatre: No it doesn't! Priscy's from France!

Wu Fei: Can we pick a country and shut up!?

All: China.

Wu Fei: *twitch twitch*

Aviolart@aol.com asks: Wu Fei, what happened with your glasses?

Wu Fei: I have contacts.

Duet: Note the lack of difference between the iris and pupil…

Wu Fei: *removes one lens*

Tori: *shivers* Don't DO that!

Duo: *pokes Tori* Heh, reading glasses. Heh heh.

Tori: *mimics* Heh, shaved legs. Heh heh.

Duo: They are NOT shaved!

Wu Fei: *smiles* No, Duo… Tell us the story…

Duo: *grumbles* …bastard put nair in the soap bottle…

Wu Fei: *pretends to bow* Thank you….

Aviolart@aol.com asks: Heero, what's with the ugly shoes?

Heero: *studies his Nikes* Um… I'm sorry you don't like my shoes…

Trowa: I think they mean your yellow work boots…

Heero: Oh. They're functional. Find me a pair of Sketchers that would withstand live flames and I'll wear them.

Aviolart@aol.com asks: Quatre, what's your favorite instrument and why?

Quatre: Me? Um… Violin or piano. The guitar is nice, too.

Trowa: *smiles and nods* Guitar…

Duo: *mimics* Songs for Michelle… *WHAP!*

Trowa: This is exactly what she was talking about.

Duo: Well, geeze! If you didn't give us so much material!

Aviolart@aol.com asks: Trowa, how big are those clown pants you wear and how often do you wear them?

Trowa: My clown pants?

Duet: ^_______^ I fit in just one leg!

Trowa: *snorts* Yes, and then you hop to the top of the stairs and fall down them.

Duet: No, I get pushed down them! *glares at Heero*

Trowa: Well, they're pretty big…

Tori: Well, that's it.

Quatre: That's all of them?

Tori: For this round anyway…

~*~*~*~

Tori: I'm sorry I took so long getting this up! I finished typing it, and then it sat in my folder for a long time before it caught my eye again.

Kegawa: Here's the solution. TOMARE FUZAKERU!

Tori: …gomen nasi…