Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ Letters To The Gundam Pilots ❯ Chapter 9 ( Chapter 10 )

***ATTENTION***

If I have overlooked questions in earlier chapters, that means they were not e-mailed to me by FanFiction.Net, most likely due to its recent malfunctions. I will try my best to sort though the reviews and find these lost questions, but I can't promise I'll find them all. If you are especially concerned about this, I suggest re-sending your questions to Tori_Yuki_Ichimura@hotmail.com

Tori: I forgot how good being in a normal relationship makes me feel… ^__^ *cuddle*

Heero: As apposed to…an abnormal relationship?

Tori: -___-* Let me tell you a story of Miako and the yakuza…

Heero: Er…That's okay.

~*~*~*~

Chibi Arwen (Kat) asks: Why haven't you all killed each other yet?

Trowa: Because if I kill one of them, Sotsu will sue me, and vice versa.

Heero: Yeah… We don't mess with Sotsu.

Wu Fei: I don't see what's stopping us from killing Tori though.

Duet: Um, her boyfriend?

Duo: Yeah, and her brother. He's just lookin' for an excuse to tear my head off.

Wu Fei: Heh, you should back into his car.

Duo: *mocking* Duo! Stay away from the Mercedes! I swear to God if you get in front of me again, I'll hit you then back up over you for good measure!

Tori: ¬__¬ I think we need to take the Gravitation manga away.

Duo: ¬__¬ I think your brother is Yuki Eiri in disguise.

Chibi Arwen (Kat) asks: Which one of you (Tori, 'Lena and Duet, and everyone else included) would be committed to a psycho ward first?

Wu Fei: Um, that's pretty much a package deal…

Trowa: No way… They'd send Duet first. She picks fights with plants.

Duet: Um, hello? We weren't arguing, we were debating. Damn Democrat fern and it's damn welfare mothers…

Quatre: Oh you missed the one in the break room. She was fighting with a water cooler.

Duet: YOU SAW THE WAY IT WAS BUBBLING AT ME!

Duo: -___- *pats her on the back*

Duet: Would you prefer I act serious more often? Because I can.

Duo: No. That would give me nightmares.

Chibi Arwen (Kat) asks: To EVERYONE, if you could be an animal, which one, and why?

Heero: I refuse to answer this question on the grounds that we've already answered it, like, five times already.

Quatre: Can we go to bed now?

Tori: No, my friend… The night is young. And that was only two questions.

Wu Fei: Why do you wanna leave? Evan waiting for you or something.

Quatre: Yeah.

Tori: We can finish these later then. ^__^

Quatre: Thanks. I owe you. ^__^

Aquajogger asks: To Wuffers...Where did you get your awesome pants?! Nice pants...I want the pants...*drool* Gimme the pants!

Wu Fei: I stole them off a hobo. Get your own. *laughs* Kidding…

Duo: I want what's in the pants… *wink*

Wu Fei: Duo… You're so naughty! I think you need to be punished. *bites the tip of his finger and smirks*

Duo: GOD… YES! Er, I mean… Ooooh noooo…!

Both: *burst out laughing*

Trowa: We need to find them a new hobby… ///_-*

Heero: Quick, Trowa! We can't let them show us up!

Trowa: Silence, my love slave. Our time will come.

Quatre & Duet: *exchange glances* -___-*

Aquajogger asks: Oh, and Duo, have you ever dropped a lock off the third floor at school?*coughstupidcough*

Duo: No… It was the second floor. … … …and I threw it.

Heero: I remember that… The question is why.

Duo: *shrugs* I was pissed off.

Duet: You're lucky it survived or my gym clothes would've been stolen. That was the only combination I could remember. 34-36-30

Trowa: Yeah, I remember you had to pick the one on your locker every day.

Andrew Joshua Talon (Talon-kun) asks: Tori and Heero, how's it going with your relationship? (I'm not jealous or anything; I'm just curious)

Tori: *head-butts table*

Duo: HA! VICTORY IS MINE!

Heero: Awesome actually. We always have fun together and she's great in the sack.

Tori: *throws a seat cushion at him* Good Lord, man!

Heero: *catches the pillow* What? Was I supposed to spaz out, too?

Tori: *blushing* … … … YES!

Heero: *holds up finger* One, we're honor-bound to answer.

Tori: So you answered. Stop talking.

Heero: *puts up another finger* Two, frankly I don't care what a bunch of authors think about you, me or us.

Tori: I'm gonna stop typing.

Heero: *puts up another finger* Three, you're honor-bound to keep typing unless everyone agrees you stop.

Duo: No, keep going. This is my moment of glory.

Heero: Four, *puts up another finger* I will brag about having you as a girlfriend every opportunity I get because it's my equivalent of winning the World Series.

Tori: O.o You need to set better goals, handsome. Aim a little higher.

Heero: Five, *opens hand flat* I dunno… *looks at hand* I just had to have five. Oh! And now you don't have to keep finding ways around saying it. There. Five good reasons for coming clean.

Tori: WHOOPS! I just deleted ALLLLLL Talon-kun's questions! ^__^*

Duo: NO!!! TEXT SAVER! TEXT SAVER! *scrambles for laptop* Oh. You liar.

Andrew Joshua Talon (Talon-kun) asks: Wu Fei, what do you think would happen if you met Motoko Aoyama of "Love Hina"? Or Kenshin of "Rurouni Kenshin"?

Wu Fei: Um, Motoko's a little too introverted for me to deal with, but I'm sure Himura would cool to hang out with.

Duet: Heh, the senseless beating of Kenshin.

Trowa: You should apologize to all the little fencer girls you scared that day, Quatre.

Quatre: They had a plushie. It was adorable. I couldn't help it.

Trowa: *laughs* Can I hug him? And the little girl was like "Um….sure."

Heero: That was the day we met Quatre's straight two-years-younger twin.

Trowa: *laughs* Yeah, you even had the same sense of style. That poor kid.

Tori: Kenshin… Heart Of Sword… *sniff* TMRevolution…

Duo: Oh God…

Tori: Rachel.. Almost licked him… IT'S NOT FAIR! >__< HE'S MY COUNTRY'S ROCK STAR!

Andrew Joshua Talon (Talon-kun) asks: Duo or Duet, mind bumping Naru off in a fanfiction? I thoroughly despise her for how she treats Keitaro and how she got with him, despite my crush on her. Oops, you shouldn't have heard that, eh heh...

Duet: Us…

Duo: …write fan fics?

Both: *laughs*

Duet: Hey, wait… Didn't you write that one…

Duo: Um, that was some guy. He looked and sounded exactly like me, but he wasn't me.

Duet: Dujuaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan Johnson. ^___^ Love Hina is Tenchi without cabbits. Everyone should read Gravitation instead. Why? Because I said so.

Trowa: How many straight guys do you know that read Gravitation?

Duet: *counts on fingers, then on toes* Seventeen. And that's nothing compared to the ones that read FAKE.

Andrew Joshua Talon (Talon-kun) asks: Everyone, you're not being too mean to Hilde, are you? (I'm just concerned-I always liked her in the show and manga)

Duo: Um, not to her face.

Heero: She's a lot different in real life as opposed to the show. -___-

Duo: She's an attempted murder-ess and an evil, evil woman. *narrows eyes* You best not get on her bad side or she'll put household cleaners in your long island iced teas…

Duet: Oh, stop it. We all had a good laugh in the end. And, hey! I lost three pounds. ^__^

Duo: *grabs her by the shoulders and shakes her* You can't afford to loose three pounds! You're sickly and dying as it is!

Duet: O__o I'm dying? …is this one of those things the doctor tells you and not me? Oh my God… Do I have mesothelioma!?

Tori: …the hell's that?

Trowa: It's a rare, malignant type of cancer usually associated with exposure to asbestos. *nod nod*

Duo: *drapes arm across his eyes* It's not a joke….

Andrew Joshua Talon (Talon-kun) asks: Everyone, if you were doing a play version of a Harry Potter book, which one would it be, and who would play what character?

Duo: If we did Harry Potter, we'd do a performance called "Please Help Me Die".

Trowa: It would actually be an interpretive dance to "Room 304: Tongue and Evening" by Dir En Grey… A tragic piece about a young wizard boy that must come to terms with the fact that he must die a horrible, horrible death because he is, in fact, the key to the literary apocalypse.

Wu Fei: Duo would play Harry, Duet would be the smart, poofy one, and I'd be…the closet gay red-head secretly in love with Harry.

Duet: The last scene would be Harry and CGay naked, pinned to the floor and each other by a giant sword, caught in the middle of some explicit act. I, Poofy, would discover them like this and in a fit of angst, shoot up on some of that screaming plant juice and die.

Quatre: o.o I don't think that was in any of the books.

Duet: Yes it is. It's in the seventh one.

Quatre: There's no seventh-

Duet: *glomp* Put on the Touma coat again… Please?

Quatre: *sigh* -___-

Tori: …Why do all of your answers involve either sex or Dir En Grey or both?

Heero: Because those are the two greatest things in the world. …plus you and anime.

Tori: How sweet… I come after Die and Kyo…

Heero: I said sex. *grins*

Tori: *pinch* Pervert.

Quatre: You know, those books did get a lot of kids to start reading…

Wu Fei: Well, excuse us for being raised on quality literature. That's like getting excited about kids reading the comics in the newspaper where there's so much more intelligent stuff out there.

Quatre: But you have to read the comics before you can step up to stock quotes. Besides, those books aren't exactly lightweights.

Wu Fei: Maybe if parents started off reading to their kids to begin with, they wouldn't need last-ditch efforts like Pooter.

Quatre: But older kids enjoy the books too! Adults even. I mean, they may not be my cup of tea, but some people with a reasonable bit of sense enjoy them. It's a matter of preference.

Wu Fei: No, it's a matter of taste. The story is nothing special or out of the ordinary, the characters are stereotypical and the writing style isn't anything to throw awards at. It's all hype.

Duo: Let's all fight over Harry Potter. O__o

Quatre: The point is a lot of people like it…and if it appeals to so many, it can't be that terrible.

Wu Fei:…Quatre, remember Pogs?

Quatre: Okay, bad statement. I don't like Harry Potter at all either, but to each his own. It's getting kids to read, it's opening pathways to different kinds of literature and it's entertaining. Not all anime is terribly well-drawn or well-written but we glom onto it anyway. Look at all the kids that became otaku after watching Pokémon and Robotech! When that came out, some of the original otaku thought it was crap, but thanks to it, we have new little yaoi fans and cosplayers and authors running around.

Wu Fei: Touché, Q… Touché. I concede defeat. *smiles* All I ask is that when those HP fanboys and -girls finish their latest crapfest, they pick up some C.S. Lewis or Melanie Rawn.

Quatre: *smiles* A reasonable request.

Alex Dalziel asks: How many of you know who I am?

All: *stare*

Duo: I bet I know you… But I don't recognize the pen name. Unless you're Ty's boyfriend, Alex, and then Du and I definitely know you.

Alex Dalziel asks: Quatre, do you still hate Starbucks? (I've been trying to read all of LTTP, but only got to chapter 5 before my brain started to melt)

Duo: Toldja this fic was unhealthy… You're melting the young'ns brains.

Quatre: Yeah, I still don't like them. But their stocks are doing better so I'm not that angry at them. Their tea is still awful though.

Wu Fei: AH! Ow… Found a pin in the rug. *rubs the bottom of his foot*

Trowa: Are you good to continue or should we start making funeral arrangements.

Heero: Call 911! Man down! Man down!

Quatre: I hope that's covered by our health insurance…

Wu Fei: …remind me why I ever look to you for sympathy…

Alex Dalziel asks: To anyone and everyone who will answer, what's the weirdest thing you've done with a condom?

Trowa: We've had water balloon fights with 'em…

Tori: My brother filled one with helium and gave it to Duo as a balloon.

Duo: I was the only kid with a balloon ribbed for her pleasure. -___-

Heero: *laughs* At junior prom we handed 'em out in the guys' bathroom.

Tori: We usually stick 'em inside the yaoi doujinshi we sell with an AIDS pamphlet… Even though we sell most of them to teenage girls but they need to be aware of AIDS too.

Duo: So Tori hands out condoms to children…

Trowa: Duo, remember the time we emptied Darren's backpack and filled it with condom boxes?

Duo: Yeah, cuz we put 'em in his locker and band locker too… Why did we do that?

Duet: Because you thought he was sleeping with me… *glare*

Duo: *grins* Oh yeah…

Trowa: Hey, you can't blame us for watching out for you… *ruffles Duet's hair*

Duet: I know… I know… But you didn't have to threaten them… Poor Joel had to pick me up at the end of the driveway and gun it when I got in the car.

Heero: Was Joel the one where Wu Fei hid in the bushes with the hose and we left a bunch of mousetraps all over the front porch?

Quatre: Like bear traps…only smaller. ^__^

Trowa: Yeah, and he was the one where I sat in the front yard in a lawn chair with a paintball gun and yelled at him in Russian whenever he tried to get out of his car.

Quatre: No, the paintball gun was Kevin. I remember because you had that half-hour standoff where every time he tried to get out of his car, you'd take a pot shot at him and he'd get back in.

Duet: …It's a wonder I had any boyfriends… -__-* You five were worse than any pair of parents could be.

Heero: Heh, remember when we sniped 'em from the roof?

Wu Fei: Aw, they didn't even know what hit 'em… Poor bastards.

Alex Dalziel asks: What's the strangest pick-up line you've ever heard and/or used?

Tori: *rolls eyes* Go ahead, Duo… Tell the story of the corrupted children…

Duo: *grins* Nice Gundam, wanna screw?

Tori: *rubs forehead* My poor, poor Rachel… And those poor, poor people at that convention…

Duo: You mean my Rachel.

Heero: …we've used some pretty dumb pick-up lines. *laughs* The best one was when we hit Wu Fei with the car.

Duet: I remember that! That girl was like "Oh my gosh! Are you okay!?"

Wu Fei: Oh… An angel… This must be heaven…

All: *laugh*

Trowa: Heh, it was totally spontaneous.

Wu Fei: Worked though, didn't it?

Duo: I don't think I've ever had a pick-up line go wrong…

Duet: That's because your pick-up line is 'Hi…'

Duo: Well, it works!

Duet: I've heard some pretty weird ones though. Remember the guy with the inhaler?

Quatre: The one who put his inhaler in your purse and then ran after you saying you stole his breath away?

Both: *giggle*

Trowa: He gets points for being clever…

Duet: But if he's cute, he can get away with it. That guy wasn't cute and he liked DragonballZ…and I'm a shallow otaku…so it didn't work out.

Heero: If he's cute, he can get away with anything with you…

Duet: Not if he's a jerk though. Or if he's rude.

Quatre: But you dated Scott for a while and he wasn't exactly the pick of the litter. I mean, he was a great guy and we're still friends with him… But he was no Duo Maxwell.

Duet: He wasn't bad! We just had a lot of fun together.

Tori: You know, you five set some pretty high standards though… I hate to break it to you but not everyone is as pretty as you boys. And Duet… You get model-scouted sitting in the food court.

Duet: This from Miss I-Get-Free-Stuff-Because-I'm-So-Damn-Cute…

Tori: Um, you can't compliment me in my fics. It makes me look like a lame SI. Which is also why I've been hiding Yuy over here.

Heero: *grins and waves*

Trowa: … … … They can't see you, Heero.

Alex Dalziel asks: Did it work?

Duet: I hope this doesn't surprise anyone, but these boys only get turned down by girls in serious relationships and lesbians.

Trowa: It's not like you ever get turned down.

Duet: That's only because I don't like asking people out. I wait to get asked out because I am the epitome of uke. …except that one time I asked John out because I crushed on him for eight years and he said no. -___- I really wanted to marry him.

Duo: ¬___¬ But you had to settle for me, right?

Duet: Looking back I probably only wanted him so badly because I couldn't have him. But I did promise him that until he turned thirty if he ever changed his mind I'd marry him. ^__^* I was so young…

Duo: I don't mean to present myself as the jealous type but… *hugs her tight and whispers* …you're mine. And I refuse to share.

Duet: And I'm happy being yours. *turns her head and kisses him on the cheek*

Wu Fei: Aren't we just disgustingly sweet tonight?

Duo: Like maple syrup.

Alex Dalziel asks: Which is better; The Last Unicorn movie or The Last Unicorn book?

Quatre: That's a tough one… Both were good.

Heero: I liked the movie better. I remember we'd all jump when we'd see the Red Bull and hide under the blankets when you could see the unicorns running in the waves.

Duo: That was a scary movie. o__o

Tori: *snicker* Heero…hiding under the blankets? How long ago was this?

Wu Fei: About two weeks ago… *grins*

Heero: *pouts* Liar… It was at least a month. *smiles*

Alex Dalziel asks: Popcorn: caramel, cheese or butter? (Trowa, you are excluded since you don't like it)

Trowa: *sticks out tongue* Popcorn…

Duo: Cheese popcorn is the best! It's like, two of the greatest foods in one!

Heero: You can't go wrong with cheese.

Wu Fei: But caramel corn is good too…especially when it has the nuts in it.

Duet: And butter's classic.

Quatre: They're all good! ^__^

Alex Dalziel asks: Favorite candy bar? Pop? Salad Dressing? Ramen?

Wu Fei: Almond Joy, Surge, Ranch, beef.

Duo: *laughs* You just pulled that right out… Didn't even hafta think about it.

Wu Fei: *does cheesy kung fu with his hands* That is because I am…Speedy Chinese Ninja. WI-AAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWW!

Trowa: Yes? Well I'm Jewish Ninja! OIIIII VEY! *more cheesy kung fu*

Wu Fei: I challenge you…Jewish Ninja. *narrows eyes*

Trowa: I accept your challenge, Speedy Chinese Ninja. *narrows eyes*

Both: *stand up and start circling, doing more cheesy kung fu with their hands*

Duo: *pulls off his shirt and runs between them* STREAKER NINJA FOREVER!

Trowa & Wu Fei: *chase him, tackle him in the kitchen and start poking and tickling him*

The Rest Of Us: o_o

Alex Dalziel asks: Weirdest thing you've ever eaten? (please, minds out of the gutter ^_~)

Trowa: *drags Duo back in and steals his spot on the couch*

Wu Fei: Hey, I was gonna steal that. *sits in Trowa's lap*

Trowa: This is totally heterosexual behavior.

Wu Fei: Of course. Why would anyone think otherwise?

Trowa: There are some sick-minded people in the world today, Wu Fei. *pats Wu Fei's thigh* Sick, sick people.

Wu Fei: *puts his hand on Trowa's* Please protect me from them.

The Rest Of Us: o_o *giggle*

Tori: Weird things you eaten, please.

Duo: *face down on the floor* …carpet.

All: O__O

Duo: *looks up, rolls eyes and points to the rug* I meant this carpet, otherwise I would have said pussy.

Tori: X__X Aaand…there goes the rating.

Duet: I ate the cuff off my black Independent sweatshirt. It took me a few months, but I guess it was worth it.

Wu Fei: I ate a copy of a history test once just to freak our teacher out. He passed back an extra one.

Trowa: I remember that. He was like "What's in your mouth? …are you… did you EAT your test? You're not getting another one."

Wu Fei: And I had a piece of it sticking out of my mouth. *laughs*

Heero: We ate a lot of glue…

Trowa: Yeah, we did…

Quatre: I ate a pen cap during our English final. I didn't even realize it until I swallowed it.

Duo: There was a whole lot of weird stuff. We played "I Dare You To Eat This" all the time.

Duet: Holly berries… poison sumac… poison ivy… I ate it all. *shakes head*

Duo: Just building immunities. *grins*

Alex Dalziel asks: Weirdest Gundam Wing merchandise you've seen?

Heero: -___- Those stupid chairs…

Duo: I'm a big fan of the Heero juices. Strawberry… Grape… They're disgusting.

Heero: Jealous?

Duo: Hell no… I don't want my face on some jelly drink.

Quatre: We were in a lot of pocky ads back in the day.

Wu Fei: *laughs* What do you mean 'back in the day'? We're not old enough for that yet.

Alex Dalziel asks: And finally, where did chapter nine's title come from?

Tori: *looks at Duo* …what did you put for Chapter 9's title?

Duo: It says 'Bitchitize, Capt'n' *grins*

Tori: -___-* You are SO weird…

Duo: It's because I'm Tori's fic-posting bitch because I'm usually on-line. Oh, and by the by…the password to her account is 123454321.

Tori: *glare* No, it's not.

Duo: I laugh in advance at all the people who are going to try it. No! Don't write it! Now no one will try it! No! Delete…ah. You're no fun.

Holly asks: Quatre, can you kill dial-up for me? It keeps logging me off and doing other very annoying things...^_^ D said I should ask you...

Quatre: But we use dial-up internet… I can't kill it. o__o

Holly asks: Trowa, did you know that on my other computer I have a link saved of a picture of a person who looks like the Asian version of you? *nods* I think Vi sent me the link... THE HAIR IS FREAKISHLY SIMILAR...

Trowa: Oooo… My long-lost Asian brother. ///_^

Heero: Since when are hairstyles genetic?

Quatre: You say that now… But I have a very distinct vision of little Maxwells with butt-long hair.

Heero: *looks at Duo then shakes his head* Duet, you have nothing but my deepest sympathies.

Duet: It goes against dress code for boys at Catholic school, though. *grins at Duo*

Duo: Yes. It does. But after third grade, they stop giving you demerits and start calling you 'miss' so it's just something the young'ns will have to learn to live with.

Heero: I think…I wanna send my kids to Catholic school too… Just because.

Trowa: I kinda wanna too…

Heero: It's gonna be eight years of "Barton! Take off that hat!"

Trowa: I wouldn't send my kids out in public with yarmulkes on… They're gonna get made fun of enough for being friends with your kids.

Quatre: -___- I want kids…

Heero: You could adopt.

Quatre: ¬__¬ Please, Heero. I'd have a better chance if I kept trying with Evan.

Duet: Don't worry, Quat! Just do it the Miroku way.

Quatre: Yeah… Will you bear my child?

Duet: Put on the Touma outfit again and we can definitely go try.

Wu Fei:*sitting on the arm of the couch now* I love how she says it with a straight face. *laughs*

Duet: DO YOU THINK I'M KIDDING!?

Holly asks: Everyone, how long have you all known each other?

Duet: Geeze… Since I can remember…

Heero: I think since we were five or six…

Trowa: But I was with Duo, Quatre and Duet before then. We lived in the US in the beginning, then we were all together when we were about six.

Wu Fei: *shrugs* I honestly don't remember… I can only remember as far back as the photos go.

Tori: You guys were all so cute. ^__^

Duo: Hey, you're only a year older than us…

Tori: Ohohohoho!!! ((A/N: <--- Um, that's evil laughter))

Holly asks: Everyone, how's Japan? ^__^ I wanna go there one day... o_o gotta learn the language better though.

Duo: If you go, do NOT come to Nagano. There is an old Buddhist Temple and that is IT.

Tori: I don't know… I think my mom's house is a tourist attraction in itself.

Duet: They should start putting it on maps.

Heero: You don't have to worry much about learning the language though… There are a lot of people here who speak Engrish.

Duo: o__o Please don't revert to Japanese again, Heero. For God's sake… Think of the letter 'L'.

Heero: If we're discussing places to go though… Kyoto's nice. And Osaka is a lot of fun.

Tori: Er… I wouldn't go to Kyoto if I were you. I have this thing with tourists where I…run them down with my car. And I don't want to make the mistake of hurting a nice girl such as Holly.

Duo: O_O You're scary.

Tori: Yeah, well… they take up all the parking spaces, crowd all our hang-outs, trash our park and take pictures of me and my friends.

Nayru Moon (Rachel) asks: Are you having fun in Japan?

Wu Fei: Errr…

Trowa: I'm surprised Duo doesn't give you a play-by-play.

Duet: He probably does, but they just stop paying attention to him. ^__^

Duo: *glomp* Mean…

Duet: Evil incarnate… ^__^

Quatre: *amusing himself by text messaging Evan upstairs*

Heero: Let's put it this way… No one's been arrested, interrogated, ticketed, fined, beaten or killed.

Duo: So no, we're not having fun.

Nayru Moon (Rachel) asks: Duo, can I have Duet on weekends?

Duo: Weekends are manageable… Renee has her on Mondays and Thursdays as a naked cleaning service… Now all I hafta do is pawn you off for Tuesdays, Wednesdays and Fridays and our relationship'll be set! *smiles at Duet*

Duet: -___- I'm not even gonna comment on this…

Wu Fei: I'll take her on Fridays. I can usually use some stress relief by then.

Duo: Why? You have Kim, don'tcha?

Wu Fei: Yeah, but I would never use Kim like that. And Duet's still better at it.

Duet: *blushes* Ah…

Trowa: Well, she's had enough practice. *smiles*

Heero: Heh, no one's better than Duet. Trust me… I've been through every sorority on our campus. Don't even come close.

Duo: *hugs her* That's because they're not perfect in every way, shape and form. They're too worried about getting pleased themselves. *smirks* They don't trust us.

Tori: -___- Gee, I wonder what you're all talking about.

Wu Fei: Um… *pauses* Baking. *narrows eyes* What did you think… *eyes widen* GASP! Tori! You dirty, dirty girl!

Trowa: Oh. I thought we were talking about oral sex.

Wu Fei: CHA-Ah…ah ch-cha- TROWA, ya damn idiot!

Duet: *holds head in hands*

Heero: -___- It was such a smooth getaway… and then Trowa had to just slash our tires.

Duo: *whacks Trowa with a seat pillow* Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's wife!

Trowa: *laughing*

Nayru Moon (Rachel) asks: For everyone, what is your favorite flavor of ramen?

Wu Fei: O__o Beef. Geeze, how many times do people wanna know?

Duo: I like the chicken.

Quatre: Me too… It's like chicken soup.

Trowa: Was that curry ramen we had one time? Or, I forget what kind it was.

Heero: I know what you're talking about, but I don't think it was curry.

Duet: I like the oriental ramen when you make it in a coffee pot. Then it tastes kinda like coffee too.

Wu Fei: You…shouldn't have any more coffee. … … … Ever.

Duet: O__o Why not?

Trowa: You're hyperactive enough as it is.

Nayru Moon (Rachel) asks: Would anybody like a hamster?

Duo: Gyah! You all and yer damn hamsters! Just keep 'em away for God's sake…

Duet: What's wrong with hamsters? And don't you dare call out the Ham-Hams because I'm rather partial to them.

Duo: No, no, no… Ah, we had an incident with some hamsters. I'll tell you about it later.

Trowa: Well now I'm curious.

Duo: No, I'm not telling you. You might get ideas.

Trowa: *arches eyebrow* Because God forbid anyone in this house take a moment to think…

Nayru Moon (Rachel) asks: Duo, what is your job? I haven't quite figured it out yet.

Duo: Neh? Oh, I quit before we left for Japan.

Duet: Well, tell the people what you used to do.

Duo: *rolls his eyes* Because it was oh-so-exciting… I worked for a company that, um, makes things.

Heero: *shakes his head*

Duo: I worked for the guy in charge of buying the raw materials and I had to type up profit reports, expense reports… Stuff like that. Plus minutes from meetings and memos… Anything I didn't have to be in a cubicle to do.

Quatre: ^__^ Duo in a cubicle…

Wu Fei: Doing the prairie dog thing when someone walked in.

Heero: I'm sure someone would take his stapler and he'd set the place on fire in a week…

Duo: *laughs* It's better than working at Xtremes.

Heero: What are you talking about? I get to help hot chicks into wall-climbing harnesses all day. Duet's got the boring job…

Duet: Hey… Being a waitress is fun.

Duo: >__< Don't remind me… I don't even want to think of you in that skimpy little outfit parading around serving horny guys.

Duet: Thiiiiiiink about iiiiiiiiiiiit. THIIIIIIIIIIIINK about iiiiiiiiiiiiit! Skiiiiiiimpy… Blaaaaaack…! Baaaaaaaaare skiiiiiiiiiiiiin! Big cat eeeeeaaaaars and taiiiiiiil! Following the command of every strange man in the whoooooole club. ^___^ Seeeeeeeeerving theeeem!

Wu Fei: Well, I thought about it. … … … And I think I'm gonna go take a cold shower now.

Nayru Moon (Rachel) asks: WHY DID YOU SIGN YOUR SOULS OFF TO SOTSU?

Duo: -___- We were young… They had candy and balloon animals.

Quatre: It's not so bad, you know. Sure there are rules, but they're reasonable, and after college we'll be free anyway. ^__^ Besides, if it wasn't for Sotsu, we wouldn't all be friends!

Heero: That's true… We'd be totally different people.

Duet: We'd suck.

Tori: O__o That'd be too weird. I bet Duo would have short hair.

Duo: O__O *starts toying with his braid* Trey strange…

Wu Fei: Who would we have lost our virginity to!?

Duo: Oh God… WOMEN!

Quatre: I hate irony…

Tori: Love you too, Quatre.

Quatre: No! I didn't mean it that way!

Tori: *pouts* You're so mean… T__T

Quatre: Oh stop whining... You know what I meant. I don't regret things.

Tori: Me neither. ^__^

Duet: Ew… We might have been adopted by… normal people. >__< Families… SIBLINGS! ICK!

Duo: Yeah… Siblings… That'd be weird… *rests chin on fist* ¬­­__¬

Heero: *laughs* What? We're not like brothers?

Duet: Brothers I've had sex with maybe. EW! NO! *covers her eyes* Ah… Setsuna and Sara did it. *drops hands and sighs* You're not my brother, you half-Jap whore. *narrows eyes at Heero*

Heero: Like I'd want to be related to you, you slutty dago.

Trowa: Ah yes… The language of unconditional love.

Wu Fei: That kind of life sounds too complicated. I like it just us.

Trowa: If we want a family we can just go cry to the Ichimuras.

Duo: Yuck… Who'd want Tori for a sister? *sits up, scoots over and leans on Tori's shoulder*

Tori: Typing, dummy.

Duo: I know. I'm supervising.

Nayru Moon (Rachel) asks: How much does Wu Fei cost? I wanna buy him.

Duo: I think I already sold him to Tia. *yawns*

Wu Fei: Stop selling us off.

Duo: Quit whining. You get to live with a cute girl and my adopted mom.

Nayru Moon (Rachel) asks: How did Wu Fei meet Kim?

Wu Fei: She was in my art class and she was really hot and she was working on this awesome painting so Duo talked me into approaching her.

Duo: Boy, do I regret that… *laughs*

Wu Fei: I don't. *smirks* We talked about art for a while and I took her out to dinner and, well, the rest is history.

Ropponmatsu (Rachel) asks: Is cheerleading a sport?

Duo: Heh, Tori… "Is that before or after I start shooting at them?"

Tori: Good times, Maxwell, good times. ^__^

Trowa: ///_- Cheerleading is NOT a sport. Gymnastics is a sport and dance is an art. A mindless melding of the two into some Para Para dance gone wrong is just… a sin.

Duo: I was on the cheerleading squad. *grins* It lasted about a week, but I got something from every girl in my pod.

Wu Fei: Genius… I should have been a cheerleader.

Duo: You should have. I was the only guy so it looked weird. The coach kept asking permission of the principal to let me wear a girl's uniform.

Tori: -___- Your high school years were so much more exciting than mine.

Heero: That was almost as good as Duet trying out for wrestling just so she could pummel that kid.

Duet: Hey, I made the team. I just didn't stay. The coach was a leering misogynist anyway. He just wanted to put me in the spandex.

Quatre: I was sad you quit… Those boys were all so cute.

Duet: But we had to play on that mat… Ugh. -___- I surprised I didn't get AIDS and crap just from walking on it barefoot.

Wu Fei: Are you talking about our school's lovely sweat, spit, urine, cum and blood-encrusted mat?

Heero: Every high school has one…

Ropponmatsu (Rachel) asks: Describe each others high school student I.D.s… *grins* And no matter how the lady doth protest, Duo DOES still have his…in his wallet most likely. I'm guessing back left pocket?

Duo: That is SO not fair. *crosses arms* And anyway, I don't have my wallet on me. It's on the table. Hmph! *turns up nose* So you were WRONG!

Tori: Yes…but is the ID still there?

Heero: *opens Duo's wallet and takes it out* 'Course. *shows it* You can't throw out a picture this valuable. It's Duo the cocaine addict!

Tori: *looks at picture of Duo with his head half-back and tilted a little to one side, eyes barely open, hair a complete mess, bangs sticking out every which way*

Duo: I hate that picture…

Duet: Hey, none of us knew it would be picture day.

Trowa: Yeah, we pretty much got wasted the night before… *holds up his ID where you can really only see one eye, half-open, because of his hair, which was a total mess*

Duet: *fishes hers out of her wallet* I like mine. *holds up a high school ID, her campus card, and her drivers license*

Wu Fei: *takes hers* Well, Duet… We can't really take a bad picture of you … *hands them to someone else* But at least you didn't lose a bet. *holds up his drivers license*

Quatre: *laughs* Awww… But your hair looks so cute half-up.

Heero: *takes Quatre's high school ID out of his hands* Damn you… You look perfectly normal.

Quatre: Yeah, well… I didn't get drunk off my rear every night that week.

Heero: It was Trowa's week-long birthday party.

Duo: HA! Lookit Du's ID from junior year… *holds up ID with a picture of Duet in super long pigtails with one eyebrow quirked and a half-smile*

Duet: You did my hair that morning…you mean sonofabitch.

Duo: And don't you look pretty… ^__^

Tori: Why do you keep those with you?

Duet: *takes hers back* I use this one to get a sixteen and under discount *holds up sophomore ID* and I use these to get a high school student discount at the movies. *holds up junior and senior IDs*.

Tori: I should have figured…

MaidenOfTwilight asks: Tori, who is your boyfriend.

Tori:*sighs and points*

Heero: …are you embarrassed of me?

Tori: No… but I look like an SI.

Heero: And since when have you cared what other people think? Besides, these people can't even see you, let alone stab you, so their opinions don't really matter.

Tori: …well, they can't see you either, so we're right back at square one.

Duo: I can see him. I'll vouch for you. ^__^

Heero: I mean through the computer. I'm not invisible, you idiot.

Duo: O__o Who said that!? *looks around*

Heero: I hate this kid…

Duo: AH! A GHOST! *clings to Tori*

Tori: IDIOT! I'm TYPING!

MaidenOfTwilight asks: What happened at the YMCA? Did the guys beat on Duo?

Duo: There I was…minding my own business just SITTING around the dorm room when idiots one, three and five drag my ass downstairs, throw me in the van, drive to the Y and throw me in the pool.

Quatre: What brought that on?

Duo: Poor judgment.

Trowa: We…really have no defense. We were just being assholes that whole day.

Heero: Yeah, I'm sorry, Duo.

Duo: Ah, I'm over it.^__^

Wu Fei: I feel sorry for the kids who were having swim practice…

Taro M.D. asks: Heero, do you ever regret not actually killing Relena when you had a few good chances throughout the series?

Heero:I've had plenty of chances to kill Relena in real life, but I would never. I love her like a sister. And once again… The series is an anime series. We don't actually have mobile suits and there are no space colonies or evil organizations. Except for maybe the Democratic and Republican parties, neither of which possess bipedal mechs or space battleships. I have a .45 Colt and a Bretta pistol and that's about as far as my lethal weaponry goes.

Duo: Relena is one of the coolest people ever…

Duet: *giggles* Relena's pissed because not all the purple came outta her hair.

Taro M.D. asks: Duet and Duet, sum up you relationship in one sentence, please.

Duet: One sentence?

Duo: A modern fairytale…but with more sexual harassment, less magic, both sexes in pretty dresses and a white minivan instead of a white horse. ^__^

Duet: It'ssssssssssssssss… Gravitation.

Wu Fei: Ha! One sentence…

Heero: *starts singing* Is she really going out with him?

Trowa: *sings* Is she really gonna take him home tonight?

Duo: You want one'a these? *shakes his fist at Heero and Trowa then laughs*

Trowa: *laughing* You can sum up their entire relationship in 80's and early 90's music.

Heero: All of our relationships… *smirks* Good times…

Taro M.D. asks: Trowa, why haven't you found someone yet? It seems like everyone else has, why not you?

Trowa: I have Sarah and Jessica… But I'm only nineteen. I'm in no hurry.

Wu Fei: He's holding out for someone… *grins*

Trowa: *grabs Wu Fei around the middle and pulls him off the couch arm back into his lap* Only for you, my love…

Wu Fei: Oh, Tro~wa! *hugs Wu Fei* … … … You smell good.

Trowa: Um, thanks.

Taro M.D. asks: Quatre, does having a lot of money and a company make you happy.

Quatre: Since when am I rich and own a company?

Duet: *latches onto his arm* Shachou! I knew it was you!

Tori: I think he's talking about the series… -___-*

Taro M.D. asks: Wu Fei, okay so you have a loud girlfriend in Kim but most women are around that time of month so how are you coping with hers, my Chinese friend?

Duo: Heh, my Chinese friend…

Wu Fei: Frankly, I think the whole psycho PMS thing is exaggerated. And Kim's not loud…most of the time.

Trowa: She's not loud. She fits right in with the rest of us.

Duet: Yeah, she's cool. It's good having another uterus around.

Wu Fei: Quit whining, Duet. We give you Quatre. What more do you want?

Quatre: As much as I like boys and babies, I don't really want a uterus.

Duet: *makes grabby hands at Quatre's cell phone*

Quatre: *hands it to her*

Duet: ^__^ *starts playing with it*

Hi asks: Who's your favorite poet?

Duo: Sylvia Plath… *glares at things the rest of us can't see*

Heero: *blinks at Duo* Yeah… I like Poe. He's somewhat overrated, but he's good.

Quatre: I like Percy Bysshe Shelly. ^__^

Duet: William Wordsworth.

Wu Fei: Kyo from Dir En Grey.

Heero: Heh, Kyo's a poet alright.

Trowa: I like Henry Wordsworth Longfellow… And William Earnest Henley

Duet: He's good.

Tori: Aw… You're all so cultured. ^__^

Duo: Of course! Why, shall we debate iambic pentameters and rhyme schemes?

Tori: That'd make for some pretty boring reading… *laughs*

Lady Emrys asks: Everyone, who would win a DDR competition?

Heero: C'mon… Who always wins? *grins*

Duo: Not always. Trowa and Du can beat you.

Quatre: Well who are the two idiots that take out their hair ties at the beginning of the game.

Wu Fei: If it means I get to keep my pants on…

Duet: Um, for reference… They're talking about strip DDR.

Trowa: I don't think we even bother playing normal DDR anymore…

Tori: I wouldn't get too cocky, boys… What are you up to? Four feet on standard mode?

Duo: Well not all of us are spaztic Asian girls with far too much free time to practice.

Tori: Don't insult my free time, boy. I've seen you Para Para.

Duo: Para Para rules all. It's the Macarena on steroids.

Lady Emrys asks: Everyone, what is your favorite pop tart flavor?

Heero: The strawberry ones but without icing.

Duo: No, the s'mores are the best.

Wu Fei: Yeah, you can't go wrong with the s'mores.

Trowa: I like the cinnamon ones.

Duo: You are alone in the world and you will die a sad, friendless death among your dry, disgusting breakfast foods. *narrows eyes*

Trowa: Be afraid, Maxwell… My loyal pop tarts shall avenge me and claim your firstborn.

Duo: Then we'll name our first born Milton, dress him funny and not wash his hair.

Quatre: Yeah, so how 'bout those strawberry pop tarts!

Duet: I like 'em! Do you like 'em?

Quatre: I certainly do, comrade… I certainly do.

Lady Emrys asks: Everyone, Chocolate or Vanilla? Hehehe...(and if Tori doesn't get this, shame on her.)

Tori: Okay, I got the hot dog/taco one… but this just baffles me. What are we talking here? Ice cream? Paint? Pocky? Skin color?

Heero: I don't know, but shame on you!

Duo: Shame on your family name… Shame on generations to come!

Tori: Well, I like chocolate.

Duet: Me too.

Heero: I like vanilla..

Wu Fei: I think it's a boy thing. Girl's usually prefer chocolate.

Quatre: Thanks Wu Fei. I like chocolate. ¬__¬ But it depends if we're talking pocky or ice cream. Vanilla pocky is gross.

Duo: Is not. But I still like chocolate better.

Duet: The guys and vanilla thing makes sense… The word 'vanilla' is from the Latin word for female genitalia.

Wu Fei: Now there's an un-sexy word… "genitalia".

Lady Emrys asks: Everyone, what's the magic word?

Duet: .357 Magnum.

Duo: Duet, the kickback from that thing almost took your arm off. Colt .45 Automatic, people.

Trowa: I think you mean an Uzi…

Heero: No,Duet's right… The Magnum is a thing of beauty.

Wu Fei: I would have said a sniper rifle…but since you're heading that way, I'll say sawed-off shotgun.

Duet: My Bretta even! It's gorgeous…although there is a certain appeal in slinging a magazine of bullet over your shoulder and charging into the range. M16s… Tommy guns… If it can kill and I don't have to pack the bullets in through the barrel, it's okay in my book. …unless it's ugly. Ugh… Luger pistols make me cringe.

Duo: Please… Let's not have a nosebleed, darling.

Heero: I know… Some of the older guns are just embarrassing. Like carbines.

Duet: And sometimes you just want a spray of bullets… *inner-happiness smile* M60's are hot as hell, but I'd hate to camp like that.

Heero: I still like the Colt revolvers if you're going classic like that. There's a certain appeal to Russian Roulette that I might never get over.

Duet: I know exactly what you mean… Spinning that cylinder, only six chambers. *grins*

Heero: Probability one to five. Odds one in six.

Duet: And Quatre would always take the bullet out so we'd play for an hour just thinking we were really lucky, even if they were only blanks to begin with.

Trowa: Why didn't they just give her Heavyarms?

Wu Fei: Because she would have exhausted the ammo supply five times faster than you, abandoned the cockpit, boarded a Leo and started all over again.

Quatre: And here I thought the magic word was 'please'… -___-*

Lady Emrys asks: Everyone, are you guys in college yet? I remember Trowa saying something about entrance exams, but that could have been from awhile ago.

Wu Fei: We actually just finished our freshman year! ^__^

Trowa: And now that we've finished all that general education crap, we can finally start working towards our majors.

Tori: Which are?

Wu Fei: I'd like to teach… What, I'm not sure yet.

Quatre: I'm not sure yet… Either pediatric or English so I could teach it.

Duo: Because, you know, it's a short jump from one to the other.

Trowa: I really have no idea yet. I wanted to be a doctor, but with all these malpractice suits flying around, it's just not profitable anymore.

Heero: Yeah, I don't know either… Teaching sounds fun. I could do vocational stuff like mechanics. Or maybe math.

Duo: I wanna be a guidance counselor.

Duet: And I'll be the psychologist that fixes all the kids after three days with you boys as teachers. ^__^

Tori: I have the best mental images right now… Heero as the math teacher, Wu Fei in science, Quatre in English… Trowa could do music. I'd send my kid to that school.

Wu Fei: Taking them to the *quotation fingers* "aquarium" in Baltimore and spending the whole day crying in front of the convention center, then take them to Hooters for lunch.

Duo: You know, you could always see if you like teaching by subbing. All you need are sixty college credits to be a substitute teacher in New Jersey, I think. S'what Mr. R said.

Tori: Or you could always teach a language. If you know English and another one and you pass a drug test, you're hired.

Duet: With our classes… … That's, like, three years! We could sub all our little buddies!

Violet Nyte asks: Matt Lim is Trowa's Asian twin. Do you agree? http://violetnyte.fallenweb.net/extra_1/matt.jpg

All: o.o *shake heads no*

Violet Nyte asks: Word Association: Oklahoma

Duet: Geography.

Trowa: Frying pan.

Duo: Prairie dogs!

Quatre: Babtists.

Wu Fei: Um… south.

Heero: Red people.

Quatre: That's not very nice…

Heero: That's what 'Oklahoma' means. I remember from junior year…

Trowa: He's right. It's Chalk-taw or something. Some Native American language.

Heero: It's just something stuck it my mind… That's the first thing I think of now… >__< Damn US History…

Violet Nyte asks: Duet, do you even know where Oklahoma is?

Duet: Is that the one by Russia when-no. That's Alaska. I know that one. It's near Mexico, right? *looks at Trowa*

Trowa: Depends… What are you calling Mexico?

Duet: The one that people try to escape from.

Trowa: …that's Cuba. We escape TO Mexico.

Duet: Oh yeah… That's what we say when there are too many people in the car.

Tori: I love how you're so politically correct… -___-*

Trowa: Hey, we said 'Native American' before. Now, think, Duet…

Duet: No! I know this! It's the boot, right?

Heero: Italy?

Trowa: That's Louisiana. Oklahoma looks like…

Duet: Is it the frying pan?

Trowa: Yes!

Duet: WHOO-HOO!

Violet Nyte asks: Pop or Soda?

Wu Fei: Soda.

Heero: Or "carbonated beverage" when we're trying to sound sophisticated.

Trowa: 'Pepsi', 'Surge' and 'Jolt' usually suffice.

Duet: o.o I cut myself. *holds out finger to show Quatre*

Quatre: On what!?

Duet: Your phone. *holds up phone*

Quatre: Did you wash your hands when you got home?

Duet: Yessir.

Quatre: *takes her finger and sucks on it*

Duet: ^__^ *cuddle*

Heero: *watching* To anyone else this would probably seem unsanitary…

Duo: Quatre, you broke it, you bought it.

Quatre: *takes a band-aid out of his wallet and puts it on her finger*

Tori: Why do you carry band-aids?

Quatre: Because I know my friends too well…

Duet: You fixed it! *holds it out to Duo* He fixed me.

Duo: You're making me jealous…

Duet: *gets up and sits next to him on the floor*

Duo: Thanks. *gets up, sits in her spot on the couch and hugs Quatre*

Duet: You…bastard.

Duo: Oh, I can't believe she was keeping you all to herself… *feels Quatre under his shirt*

Quatre: *scrolling through his text outbox* DUET! WHAT WERE YOU SAYING TO EVAN ON MY PHONE!?

All: o__O

Duet: Nothing… I was just telling him all the things you wanted to do for him when we're done with this.

Quatre: ~___~ *stands up* I'll be back… *goes upstairs to talk to Evan*

Wu Fei: *yells after him* Careful, Quatre! He might be expecting things!

~*~*~*~*~*~

Andrew Joshua Talon (Talon-kun) asks: Relena, are you offended that I and Tori wrote you being my girlfriend in our Gundam Wing SI fics? (I just kind of liked you back then, and I still do. I mean, we didn't DO anything, you see)

Relena: *shrugs* Hey, as long as you weren't impaling me on sticks and running me over…

Duo: You should sue all those people who wrote "How To Kill Relena" fics… I mean, aren't they technically terroristic?

Tori: Terroristic… There's a new word for my Microsoft Word dictionary.

Relena: Nah… These fics don't exactly have a huge impact on my life. I hate to break it to people but… There's more to my life than my name and the part I played for Sotsu.

Duet: *holds out her bowl* Would you like some of my unpronounceable snack?

Relena: O__o … -___- No thank you, sweetie.

Duet: It kinda tastes like almonds… or avocado…

Relena: That's great, sweetie.

Heero: You can stop typing now, Tori.

Tori: Why? Breakfast is the most important meal of the day.

Trowa: I don't think we can, in good conscience, call it breakfast. It's sort of past noon.

Tori: Lunch, then.

Duo: You whiners… I've been up since four.

Quatre: Yeah, since four pm last Tuesday.

Duo: Sleep is for the weak.

Duet: He's afraid of Freddy Kreuger.

Duo: Not after Freddy vs. Jason I'm not…

Wu Fei: Hey, a dinosaur eraser! *drops it in Trowa's milk*

Trowa: Now that was uncalled for…