Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ Letters To The Gundam Pilots ❯ Chapter 10 ( Chapter 11 )

Tori: Questions galore! Ten full chapters and this fic is still goin' strong! I think that merits a resounding "BOOYAH"!

Wu Fei: Resounding "BOOYAH"? Mmm…maybe a forceful "HELL YES", but not a resounding "BOOYAH".

Duo: Not even that. I was thinking more along the lines of a strong "WHOO-HOO" with scattered "AWESOME"s.

Tori: … *holds head in hands* Once again…these are actual conversations… actual answers. It has not been rehearsed, scripted or changed and nothing of interest has been edited out. Unless, of course, you're interested in me saying "Okay, next question" every once in a while and associating the names of Duo's ladies with their pennames.

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Skyler~ "What you do, what you write…This is all…so amazing. I've never seen 2-Dimensional characters with such depth. Thank you all."

o.o Then this chapter is for you, Skyler. The good, the bad, and the unbelievably stupid. That's what we're all made of, isn't it? ^__^* We hope you continue to enjoy all anime and the fanfiction that inevitably follows.

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Renee asks: Ok this is for ALL THE MALES: I'm honestly shocked this question hasn't been asked (or if it has it was never answered) so behalf of all the horny fangirls I must pose the question…. *hands out rulers to all the boys* exactly how physically proportionate are you? *wink wink nudge nudge* …..AND YES I DO MEAN THAT! Seesh, Duo knows all the ladies cup sizes…

Duo, Heero, Trowa, Quatre & Wu Fei: *stare*

Awkward silence…

Quatre: *twitch*

Duo: *giggles*

All: *start laughing*

Tori: *hands Heero a tape measure* Drop 'em!

Heero: *takes it and stands up* Stand up, arms up, Duo.

Duo: *stands up and puts his arms up*

Heero: *wraps the tape measure around his chest* Duo, you're a 40A. C'mere, Trowa.

Duet & Tori: *laughing like crazy*

Heero: Tro, you're a 42A

Tori: I'm pretty sure that's not what Renee meant…

Heero: She said cup sizes. No where in that question did she say penis.

Duet: *dying of laughter* STOP! It's too much!

Wu Fei: *crosses arms* Lesson learned. No winking or nudging… Next time you hafta come out and just say it.

Heero: *trying to measure his chest, but the tape measure zips shut and clips his finger* Fucker! *shakes out hand and sucks on the end of his finger* I'm enraged. *sits back down, nursing his finger*

((A/N: I read the questions beforehand and bought a tape measure. I don't make a habit out of carrying rulers.))

Zer0Kataru asks: To all pilots, do you have real names?

Wu Fei: Sure do… This here's Heero Yuy. That tall one over there's Trowa Barton…

Heero: I'm willing to bet our parents gave us much different names… But frankly we don't know what they are. *shrugs*

Duo: Was this before or after they left us to die?

Heero: Before.

Zer0Kataru asks: Why are the following things so ugly? Wing Zero's wings (Not Wing One or Wing Zero Custom, just Wing Zero), Mercurius's Sword, Barge, Vayeate's Cannon Charging Thingy, Dr. J, Heavyarms' chest gattling thingies, Sandrock, Kira's hair, Tallgeese I, and Tallgeese II & I except for their cannons?

Duo: Who's Kira?

Trowa: *shrugs* Because they were…drawn that way?

Quatre: Sandrock isn't ugly!

Wu Fei: Yeah! Sandrock owns you!

Heero: We should get stickers that say that.

Wu Fei: *points to his chest* Wu Fei Chang. If lost, please return to Sandrock

Heero: That'd be hot. I would do anyone with that sticker.

Wu Fei: Funny you should say that. I was just thinking to myself… "Wu Fei, you need to go buy stickers."

Quatre: *exchanges glances with the rest of the group, then sighs and shakes his head, laughing*

Tori: I think the real question here is…why is Trowa so damn hot?

Duo: I ask myself that every morning. Then I do things to him while he's sleeping.

Everyone Else: O_o

Trowa: ///_o Hey, Tori… … … Can Jess and I stay in your apartment tonight?

Duo: *narrows eyes* Don't pretend you don't like the games we play.

Heero: You can stay with us… If that means those two EXTREMELY noisy people shift out.

Quatre: We're not noisy!

Heero & Tori: *start moaning and panting*

Heero: Aaaah…* covers his mouth, coughing and sputtering delicately*

Both: *dissolve into giggles*

Quatre: *blushing* LIARS!

Wu Fei: So many questions…*grins*

Duet: Just because you're quiet doesn't mean your innocent.

Wu Fei: You're none to comment on anything! When you and 'Lena are messing around that whole damn complex can hear you.

Duet: That's because she yells at me.

Tori: Well if you'd just learn how to do it right…

Both: *laugh*

Quatre: Yeah, so how 'bout those questions?

Trowa: Like why is Barge so ugly?

Duo: Or…why does Heavyarms look like a McDonald's endorsement?

Duet: o.o We should bend his kabuto mask spikes into an 'M'.

Duo: *gasp* You're the long-lost, much sexier brother of Ronald McDonald!

Duet: *gasp* Clown pants and all!

Trowa: …*rubs his eyes and runs a hand through his hair* You two… are insane. ///_¬ And I'm too tired for this…

Duo: Have some canned coffee! *offers him his can of coffee* And celery! It's nature's awake medicine.

Trowa: *takes a sip of Duo's coffee* You expect me to believe anything in the beverage came into being naturally?

Zer0Kataru asks: Duo, how the hell does Deathscythe get back its shield every episode?

Duo: I dunno… How does a thermo-nuclear weapon work under water? And how does it stay in that cool scythe shape? And why did Deathscythe sodomize Wing in an attempt to turn off the self-destruct command? How come Heavyarms's weapons don't have ANY kickback? Where do all those extra links in Wu Fei's Dragon Claw come from? O.o Mysteries. Perhaps because, and this is just a hypothesis, it's a cartoon.

Trowa: *cracks Duo on the back of the head* Stop confusing the children…

Duo: Oh, God damnit… I dunno. Plot bunny.

Quatre: Someone's particularly irate today.

Duo: Sorry. I didn't start my day with great sex like you did.

Quatre: *blushes*

Duet: Perhaps because your "day" started two days ago and has yet to end. Now quit being an asshole.

Zer0Kataru asks: How come HALF of Vayeate has as much armor as an entire space colony?

Heero: Now that's just inconceivable… The proportions of a space colony and a single mobile suit aren't even comparable in that aspect.

Tori: Gimme a sec… Spelling big words.

Quatre: *whips out his cd player and starts unraveling the headphones*

Duo: Why does Quatre get toys?

Quatre: I'll keep them on low… It's just that I don't usually have much to say to these questions.

Duo: *crosses his arms* That's it… I'm spending the whole next chapter pretending to sleep.

Duet: *opens her eyes and looks up at him* Hey… You can't steal my gig.

Zer0Kataru asks: If most or all of the GW cast sold their souls to Sotsu, how come they don't live under Sotsu's protection like you guys?

Trowa: They're not full-time. The people we know as Sally and Zechs and Noin… They're all too much older. They're hired on demand like normal people.

Heero: They only showed up for what they had to. Relena and Dorothy and Hilde are under the umbrella, they just don't live with us. Zechs, Treize, Une… They're regular people who show up and dress up when they have to.

Tori: O_O Oh. Idea. Do you think they'd wanna do a chapter in character? When do they get here?

Quatre: They should all be here by Sunday and they're staying until next Sunday. Depends on how fast you get this chapter up.

Duet: …you jinxed it, Quatre. Now it won't get up until October.

Duo: *leans back and crosses his arms behind his head* It's not like that affects us… *grins* We'll be in the Caribbean by then…

Duet: Do you think we can find some pirates???

Duo: Ourhoneymoon. You and Me. There's no room for men in eyeliner in that equation.

Duet: -___- I want him to be my crazy uncle… not my lover. … … … … Monogamy is gonna be hard.

Duo: Monogamy. *pauses* Hehe… I still can't say that word without giggling.

Both: *laughing at each other*

Duo: They think we're preserving the sanctity of marriage just because it's a het union…

Duet: *pats his thigh* We'll try it.. We'll try it…

Wu Fei: I give it two weeks. *puts a $5 on the table*

Tori: *takes out a wad of American singles* Ten days.

Trowa: *takes out his wallet, pulls out a $10 and puts it down* One week.

Quatre: *tosses some singles down* Bet they can hold out until the 25th.

Heero: *lays down a $10* Yeah? Hamilton says I can seduce him at the reception.

All: *laugh*

Duet:Who the hell's Hamilton?

Heero: He's on the ten dollar bill, Du.

Duet: *inspects it* That moffer was a president?

Trowa: No, he invented money.

Duet: Oh… *puts it back down* … … hey, wait a minute.

Nayru Moon (Rachel) asks: What does Duo have against Trowa/Trowa have against Duo? It seems those two like pissing each other off all the time.

Trowa: He's a damn dago.

Duo: Shut it, you communist.

Trowa: *smirks* He's not that bad… We just have occasional…altercations.

Duo: We're opposites. But not like…get-along opposites. *doing hand motions* Like good and evil opposites.

Trowa: He wears my clothes, borrows my stuff…

Duo: You do the same thing to me! My pants… My CDs… I don't think you even shop anymore.

Trowa: *watching Duo* Hey Duo… What do you call it when an Italian has only one arm?

Duo: What?

Trowa: A speech impediment.

Duo: Hey, Trowa… What do you call a Russian Jew named Trowa?

Trowa: Awesome?

Duo: Retarded.

Trowa: Duo, we called people 'retarded' in third grade. Expand your vocabulary.

Heero & Wu Fei: *looking at one, then the other, like it's a ping pong game*

Duo: Shut up, Trowa.

Trowa: You-

Duo: Hey! I definitely said 'shut' followed by 'up' followed by 'Trowa'!

Duet: Both of you, shut up, and go back to getting along!

Trowa: We're getting along just fine.

Duo: Yeah, neither of us are bleeding yet.

Nayru Moon (Rachel) asks: What is the oddest relationship between two people in your residence?

Duet: Besides those two idiots? *thumbs at Duo*

Duo: Trowa and Quatre have the most awkward.

Quatre: Was that the question? No.

Wu Fei: Heero and Quatre are kinda weird… They're like polar opposites too.

Trowa: Heero chases women -CHASED women- and Quatre's after guys. Heero drinks, Quatre doesn't. Heero's room is a finely tuned chaos and Quatre's space is psuedo-neat.

Duet: That's not odd… That's Quatre and any of you.

Wu Fei: True…

Quatre: I don't think any of our relationships are truly odd… We're just open with each other about pretty much everything and we get over any arguments pretty quick.

Trowa: Heero and Duet are kinda odd. I mean, the rapist and the victim. And I don't know how many times the rest of you have come home and found them…doing things.

Duet: That's why we knock, Trowa.

Trowa: I live in that house too!

Duo: It's true though. You two are weird when it comes to each other.

Heero: Lies…

Wu Fei: No… It's perfectly normal to skip school and tie your sex partner down on the bed for almost six hours straight and then LEAVE her there for your roommate to find and have to rescue.

Duet: In our house it is.

Heero: Sophomore year rocked like that.

Quatre: You and Relena are so kinky… It really is a shame it didn't work out between you. ¬__¬

Heero: We fought too much.

Duo: We're all kinky…just on different levels.

Duet: I am the uberkink. *smiles and winks at Tori* You know what I'm talking about.

Tori: No. I don't. I just type.

Duet: Sorry, mistook you for your mom for a minute.

Tori: Heero, rape her again for me.

Duet: JAY KAY! JAY KAY! You know I want your brother, not your mom.

Tori: Everyone wants my brother.. … … Hell, I want my brother.

Wu Fei: Calm down there, Sara…

Nayru Moon (Rachel) asks: Duet, isn't it yucky to kiss a drunk boy?

Duet: Depends on how into it you are. When you're walking past and some random guy pulls you into his lap and starts groping you, that's disgusting. But kissing Duo or Wu Fei or someone… Not that bad.

Wu Fei: Ew, I'd have to be drunk to kiss you.

Duet: Don't make me date rape you. Then I'll videotape it and label it 'Acting Out Fantasy #647'

Wu Fei: o.O

Heero: I haven't seen Duet with anyone but Duo for a while¹… Except Relena and Dorothy, but she's their girl-toy so that doesn't count.

Duet: I'm engaged. I'm not supposed to do that anymore.

Trowa: Engaged… Married… A nun… Doesn't matter. You can't resist our sexiness. *smirks, quirks an eyebrow, and strikes a sexy pose*

Wu Fei: Ditto that. *also strikes sexy pose, leaning on Trowa*

Heero: I'll pay you four dollars to make out with whoever the cell phone points to. *puts his cell on the table*

Duet: WHOO-HOO! Four dollars!

Duo: *shakes head* She compromises her morals for four dollars…

Heero: *spins it and it points the wrong way* … *spins it again and it points to Trowa*

Trowa: Oooo… Duo. I'm gonna kiss your fiancée… *stands up*

Duo: Go ahead… I don't think your mouth has been anywhere hers hasn't.

Duet: *glares at Duo* I dunno. I'm not a contortionist.

Wu Fei: Ooooo! Got you there, Maxwell!

Trowa: I just might steal her. *sort of straddles her and kisses her*

Quatre: *covers his eyes* My hetero-virgin eyes…

Trowa & Duet: *being all gropey-gropey*

Duo: And people ask why I hate him… *watching* YO! Keep it over her shirt! *rolls his eyes, leans back, crosses his arms and huffs*

Trowa: *rolls off her after a bit and slouches on the couch* Wow… You need to teach Jess how to do that.

Duet: *wipes her mouth* What happened to 'she's just my friend'? *grabs the four dollars and stuffs them in her pocket*

Trowa: Friend…with benefits. It's not like I love her.

((A/N: ¹Things that occur at Comiket don't count towards real life.))

Nayru Moon (Rachel) asks: Does Blue Pepsi rock?

Heero: If you like drinking fizzy Windex.

Wu Fei: Who doesn't?

Heero: I dunno… I've always been a Pine Sol man myself.

Nayru Moon (Rachel) asks: Who is the greatest J-pop/rock singer of all time?

Quatre: Gackt.

Duo: How DARE you? Dir En Grey beats Gackt's ass in so many ways…

Quatre: But based on singing ability alone…

Duo: …I can't believe I'm hearing this…

Quatre: GACKT! GACKT! GACKT!

Duo: I'M NOT LISTENING!

Wu Fei: TMRevolution!

Duo: Shut up!

Quatre: You stay out of this, Wu Fei!

Duo: JRock is about music, but it's about looks, too!

Quatre: And I'd take that biseinen over Asian KISS any day!

Duet: Can't we all just say Ryuichi and be done with this?

Heero: What about Run & Gun?

Duo: ARE YOU MAD, BOI!? Dir En Grey. End of story.

Quatre: *sing-songs* Ga~ackt.

Tori: Siam Sha~ade…

Duo: Dir. En. Grey.

All: *glare at each other*

Nayru Moon (Rachel) asks: What's the greatest video game ever?

Trowa: Final Fantasy VII.

Duet: Agreed.

Quatre: All the Final Fantasy games are good.

Heero: Yeah, but seven's the best. It has Sephiroth.

Duo: Sephy… Flick! *flicks his hair* And the Masamune.

Duet: …you are SO much more of a girl than I am. And Sephiroth's hot…but so's Irvine Kinneas from VIII.

Trowa: Funny you should mention that…

Duet: Why?

Heero: We wanted to know if you guys wanted to do FinalFantasy VIII for winter Komiket.

Duo: Sure!

Duet: Sounds awesome to me! ^__^

Quatre: Now wait… Is Duo Irvine or Laguna?

Wu Fei: Based on sheer mental capacity, I'd say Laguna.

Nayru Moon (Rachel) asks: What is your opinion on Madonna kissing Britney Spears onstage at the recent Video Music Awards... while Christina Aguilera watched them?

Quatre: Madonna could have done so much better…

Duet: What are you talking about? Britney is hot. I'd let 'er fuck me.

Tori: *pondering changing the fic rating to something other than 'G'*

Duo: Aguilera's ugly as hell… And Madonna's old. Britney is the one who could'a done better.

Duet: Really… She could have had BOTH of us…plus, like, Trowa.

Tori: I'd do her…

Heero: I'd help.

Wu Fei: I'd watch.

Quatre: And I'd take her shopping afterwards and buy her some clothes that fit.

Nayru Moon (Rachel) asks: To everyone but Duet, what're the strangest, non-embarrassing things your girlfriends have ever done in front of you?

Duet: Awww… I've had girlfriends too~ooo…

Heero: Strange AND non-embarrassing? I dunno…

Trowa: One time I was sitting in this girl's room while she was getting dressed and she had these, like, saline inserts and she's just talking to me and putting these things in her bra and… I was confused.

Tori: Sorry, Trowa, but not all girls are as well-rounded as Duet and Jessica.

Trowa: But… So? She put jelly things in her bra. I mean, Kelly was awesome. She didn't need…weird… thingies.

Wu Fei: That's not that weird. I was staying after school waiting for Zoe to finish a test and after she handed it in, she gave the teacher a kiss on the cheek before she left. I was like "WHAT the fuck?" but I found out later he was her uncle. Made me uneasy for a while though.

Duo: I just think it's weird when, like, after you've had sex they just sit there completely naked and talk to you and aren't shy at all. They blush and giggle before the fact, but afterwards, they're pretty blunt. Like, with Duet it's just "So hot… Can't concentrate on things she's saying… But too tired for more…" but she covers herself, you know? They just sit there… Breasts and all. Talking to me. Then they'll, like, walk around and brush their hair or fix their make-up, but not put clothes on and I'm like… "Yeah, we still have to work on that history project but now I'm just gonna be thinking about you and your weird sex habits the whole time."

Heero: What exactly are you saying, Duo? That female nudity is wrong?

Duo: No… Never mind. I'll shut up. I'm just saying that sometimes it's weird to see naked women just walking around like it's nothing. I'm used to Duet, but… Other girls aren't Duet.

Heero: I had one girlfriend…When I went to pick her up on our first date she was saying goodbye to her dog and she knelt down and kissed it on the mouth. Needless to say I never kissed her.

Duet: Ew… How can people do that?

Tori: That's like those people who let dogs lap milk out of their mouths and stuff. It's just nasty.

Duet: Dogs lick their own butts… plus they eat other dogs' poop. *rubs her nose* Nasty…

Nayru Moon (Rachel) asks: Duet, what're the strangest, non-embarrasing things the guys/your significant other have ever done in front of you?

Duet: Um, the guys have done some pretty strange things in front of me… *looks at them* I won't elaborate, but there's been plenty of scene-making when we're out in public. And even when we're at home, once in a while one of them'll do something that just makes you go "WHAT the hell..."

Tori: Like what?

Quatre: Yeah, like what?

Duet: Oh, you guys know… Like one time Trowa was making dinner and just out of nowhere he sticks his hand in the fire, pulls it back out, stares at it a minute, then goes back to cooking.

Trowa: That's so my fingers don't bleed when I play guitar.

Duet: I don't care! You don't just go around lighting yourself on fire!

Trowa: … *laughs and shakes his head*

Duet: And then Heero over here! He's all "Let's catch wild animals and shut them in peoples' rooms and see what happens!"

Heero: I only did that once. …Twice!

Wu Fei: Heero's like the crocodile hunter… He calls and wild animals just come to him.

Tori: I think I heard about that, but what happened exactly?

Quatre: Heero… caught a squirrel and locked it in Duo and Duet's room so it went stir crazy. Then when they opened the door, it screamed and ran out.

Wu Fei: Squirrels scream?

Quatre: That one did.

Trowa: The other time it was a deer in the garage.

Heero: I actually didn't put it in there. I just closed the door after I saw it in there.

Duet: …why would you close the door, you idiot?

Heero: Well, I didn't know if it had rabies or a mom or something.

Duet: So you confine it in our garage?

Heero: It was a small deer!

Duet: Not even stuff that big though! Like, sometimes I'll walk into a game of strip hide and seek tag or I'll just get randomly molested or raped… I never know what's going through their heads.

Wu Fei: Good. You're not allowed to figure us out. Our thought processes shall forever remain shrouded in secrecy.

Duet: If by secrecy you mean 'non-existance'.

Nayru Moon (Rachel) asks: Wufei, what would happen if everyone chose to poke you all at once at this very moment?

Wu Fei: I would fly away. It's something all Chinese people are capable of… *grins*

Heero: I can get that hair extension. We should definitely do that cosplay for a Sunday or something.

Quatre: I call not being Q-chan.

Duo: Wait…Since when does Count D fly?

Duet: Second volume… Heh, have you heard about Chinese people? They can FLY!

Trowa: Oh you know those Mexicans… They're made of candy!

Duo: Did Rachel want us to poke Wu Fei?

Wu Fei: Depends how you interpret the question. I mean, it was obviously implied… But I feel safe in assuming at least the majority of you want to retain use of your index fingers.

Heero: *pokes Wu Fei in the ribs*

Wu Fei: EEK! *flinches*

Trowa: *pokes him in the side*

Wu Fei: *slaps Trowa's hand away*

Heero & Trowa: *start tickling him*

Wu Fei: AUGH! This is TORTURE! Hehehehehe… *squirming*

Duet: Alright… Let 'im be before someone gets hurt…

Heero: *pokes Wu Fei*

Wu Fei: *pokes Trowa*

Trowa: *backhands Heero in the stomach*

All Three: *fold their hands and stare patiently at Tori*

Nayru Moon (Rachel) asks: What's better; A romantic candlelit dinner with your loved one, or a huge orgy with a bunch of sexy people of your choice while your loved one is spending time with her/his friends?

Trowa: I don't think anyone here's into romantic dinners and all that frou-frou crap. At least not with each other.

Quatre: A candlelit orgy, perhaps…

Duo: Nah. Someone'd get hurt.

Duet: But on the upside, there'd be some hot wax.

Heero: I'm in.

Tori: Sounds like a party.

Wu Fei: Awesome. We just planned our Christmas party.

Duo: Haha! We did! Candles and sex!

Trowa: If I were you I'd start shopping now, before the rush.

Quatre: The rush on lube, condoms, double-A batteries, chains, leather and extra mattresses?

Duet: We don't need more mattresses. We've still got all those in the basement. Plus people can always bring theirs.

Wu Fei: *laughing* Christmas Party at our house. Bring Your Own Mattress.

Nayru Moon (Rachel) asks: If you picked the orgy, who would you choose?

Wu Fei: o.o How'd Rachel know we were gonna pick the orgy?

Duo: I dunno… But I bet I can tie a Blue Monday joke in there if you give me a few more seconds.

Heero: Floating Jesus heads.

Duet: *laughs* That's really all you need to say.

Tori: Blue Monday?

Trowa: Orgy's a band that did a song called Blue Monday. There's also a manga called Blue Monday and in it there are floating Jesus heads.

Tori: O_o There's a manga I don't know about?

Trowa: American manga. It's good. You can borrow it when we get home.

Duet: But who would we choose for an orgy? I mean…besides the usual suspects.

Quatre: Can we have anybody?

Trowa: I don't wee why not. It's our fantasy.

Quatre: I pick Ty Pennington.

Duo: I piiiiiiiick AJ. *grins* He should come to one of our orgies. He's got some excess innocence.

Wu Fei: AJ who? Stires?

Duo: AJ Talon. Tori, e-mail him an invitation.

Tori: Sure, but I don't think 'going to an orgy' is a valid excuse for him to hop on a plane and fly to New Jersey.

Duet: Ha! Sucks to have parents!

Duo: That it does, bizzach… That it does.

Heero: Tori, your mom would so kill us if she ever found out how much we've corrupted you.

Tori: Heh, like my mom cares about me... She doesn't even know what country I'm in most of the time. I'm just not allowed to come home and tell her I'm dying. Anything else is fine.

Wu Fei: You should bring home some old guy and tell her he's your sugar daddy.

Tori: I think she liked all my boyfriends better than I did. She'd always bug them about marrying me.

Heero: Not me…

Tori: That's because you're younger than me. And because you have no family for me to go live with and be a pleasant, mild-mannered servant for.

Heero: You don't know that. Sotsu might just whip one out on me.

Tori: *smirks* You'd have to be engaged for them to do that apparently.

Heero: And that'd never happen until I've received my girlfriend's family's blessing.

Tori: Quite the paradox… *sticks her tongue out*

Nayru Moon (Rachel) asks: Trowa- (forgive my poor grammar and hope this text comes out right) Ñêîëüêî äðåâåñèíû, êîòîðóþ âóä÷óê ìîã áðîñàòü, åñëè âóä÷óê ìîã áû áðîñàòü äðåâåñèíó?

Tori: *turns the laptop around so they can all just read that one*

Trowa: Am I supposed to understand that? I don't speak Klingon, Rach…

Wu Fei: I think it started out as Hebrew… or Yiddish… or Russian…

Duo: That's Rachel. It's Hebrew. I bet you.

Trowa: Aw… Well it didn't come out right. But Rachel's my Jewish buddy, so it's cool.

Duo: ACHEM! One: all girls named Rachel are MINE and Two: I had her first!

Trowa: No… Rachel's a Jewish name and all things Jewish are MINE.

Duo: Rachel's MINE!

Trowa: You wanna fight?

Duo: You wanna go? *stands up*

Trowa: Let's go! *stands up*

Duet: *pantses Duo*

Duo: YIPE! *pulls his shorts back up and sits down*

Trowa: Ha!

Heero & Quatre: *grabs Trowa's jeans*

Trowa: *holds on* Nice try…

Wu Fei: *shoves him over onto Duo and Duet*

Trowa: Ah, that was so mean… *slides back into his seat*

Nayru Moon (Rachel) asks: First word that comes to mind:

Fuck

Trowa: Sex.

Heero: *smirks* Bird.

Tori: *narrows eyes* Hentai.

Duo: Damnit.

Quatre: Detached.

Wu Fei: Separate.

Duet: Verb. It's what we do.

Kill

Wu Fei: Murder.

Quatre: Death.

Duo: War.

Trowa: Respawn.

Duet: Necessary.

Heero: Necess- Hey…

Die

Duo: Kyo.

Duet: Kaoru.

Tori: Shinya and Toshiya.

Heero: Death?

Trowa: *shakes head* Weirdoes…

Wu Fei: Live.

Quatre: Afterlife.

Duo: Live's a good band too…

Bunny

Trowa: Ears.

Duo: Easter.

Duet: Sex.

Wu Fei: Credit card commercial.

Heero: Bunnicula.

Quatre: …you remember those books?

Heero: Youremember those books?

Quatre: Wow… We're sad.

Penguin

Duet: PenPen

Quatre: Badtz-Maru.

Wu Fei: Evangelion.

Trowa: Antarctica.

Duo: Tuxedo…Gen.

Heero: Waddle.

Hamster

Duo: YAH! RENEE! >__<

Duet: Hehehe…

Quatre: *arches eyebrow* The Ham-Hams…

Trowa: Gerbil.

Wu Fei: Ping-pong.

Heero: Mousetraps.

Cute

Wu Fei: Kittens.

Duet: Quatre.

Heero: Um… girls.

Duo: Boys.

Quatre:Evan.

Trowa:Texas.

Silver Raye Adams (Silver) asks: Pocky ads? What Pocky ads?

Duo: Pocky ads?

Heero: *arches eyebrow* What pocky ads?

Tori: Her question exactly.

Heero: Now that's just confusing.

Quatre: Did she do something to the pocky ads?

Duet: Got Pocky?

Wu Fei: What the hell is everyone talking about?

Duo: That's what we'd like to know.

Trowa: Oh no… Your stupid is extending from the answers into the questions!

Duo: GASP!

Quatre: That's not nice… I'm sure we're the ones missing something here…

Tori: I guess…we can call that an answer.

Silver Raye Adams (Silver) says: Name a few random things (esp. acts of civil disobedience!) that you got yelled at for in high school. I need ideas for my sophomore year. ^_^

Duet: Civil disobedience in sophomore year? Heh… Drinking in a cul-de-sac at two in the morning and having to run from the cops across the neighborhood and climb into someone's second-story room up a rope ladder.

Heero: See? That's what happens when we're not there to protect you.

Duo: That's almost as good as the time the guy at the gas station called the cops because you were waving yer damn gun at me and we had to run home and hide in the basement.

Duet: It was raining and at night… *waves him off* He didn't get a good look at us.

Trowa: My personal favorite was the Guard Bee.

Wu Fei: You catch bumble bees and freeze them, then tie a string around them when they're knocked out and tie the string to your locker. When they wake up, you get guard bees.

Trowa: And the best part is that there's nothing against it in the student handbook.

Duo: I got yelled at a lot in high school…

Wu Fei: Yeah, for fucking upperclassmen in maintenance closet.

Heero: AND underclassmen, you whore.

Duo: You're just jealous of my hot young women.

Heero: I was. I love virgins. *grins*

Duo: Then why are you dating Tori?

Tori: Watch your mouth, boy.

Trowa: It's because Tori moans like a virgin every time.

Tori: Trowa, don't make me come over there. *blushing*

Duet: Sex or Dir En Grey… It's fscking inevitable.

Quatre: Yeah, so about high school…

Wu Fei: That WAS high school.

Quatre: What about all the pranks?

Duet: Ha! The best one was with the mice.

Trowa: Oh yeah… We got three HUGE mice and numbered them 1, 2, and 4 and let them go.

Heero: They spent two days looking for number 3.

Tori: *laughs* That was pretty good…

Taro M.D. asks: Tori , I still can't believe that Talon broke up with you... oh well if it wasn't for that me and Nueva wouldn't of made the decision of revealing our relationship to the clan, so what's the status of you and Talon now?... good friends or what?

Heero: One man's trash is another's treasure. *smiles*

Tori: We're still good friends. ^__^ I just haven't been involved on-line much this past while because of the new KamikazeDucks layout deadlines and Komiket and the wedding.

Duo: I'm glad he broke up with you. You were so cheating on him with Heero.

Tori: WHAT!? NOT TRUE!

Heero: …not really. She wasn't even in the state at the time.

Duo: Are you sure? I thought you started going out around spring break.

Heero: Yeah, wasn't that when we played that prank on you?

Duo: I don't remember… Maybe you're right. Because then I had MY really bad, horrible, stupid, un-funny prank.

Wu Fei: I'm telling ya, Duo… Only we appreciate those kinds of pranks… The rest of the world just isn't ready for the psychologically damaging games we play.

Tori: Well, Heero and Rio's wouldn't have been so bad if DUO hadn't told everyone on-line and made them paranoid.

Duo: *rolls eyes* Not this again…

Tori: What kind of man believes someone when they say they've kidnapped their friend!?

Duo: The kind that works for Sotsu!

Taro M.D. asks: G-Guys and Duet, sum up your college days... good and bad.

Heero: College is…high school only…better.

Wu Fei: It's hard to tell. We had mostly General Education courses this year, so we've yet to start studying anything new.

Duet: Oooo…. I can't WAIT! ^__^ I'm gonna try out all my psycho tricks on you guys!

Trowa: …why are they letting her study psychology?

Quatre: …why are they letting any of you work with kids?

Heero: We're good with kids!

Duet: That's because we're just bigger kids with better toys.

((A/N: The rest of this fic was completed after the honeymoon in the US due to a forgetful author desperate to finish this chapter))

DR Fate asks: Everyone, which type of dragon do you like better, Chinese or the western medieval types?

Heero: By Chinese, I'm assuming she means oriental?

Wu Fei: Heh heh heh…

Duet: I like both. I'd say oriental but one of my first crushes was Draco from Dragonheart.

Quatre: Such an odd child…

Heero: I like the oriental dragons. Dragons got a better deal in eastern cultures.

Violet Nyte (Vi) asks: What's your favorite brand of frozen pizza?

Trowa: Um… Tombstone.

Wu Fei: What about DiGiorno?

Tori: *groans* Don't make me spell that…

Duo: Now c'mon…Ellio's is in there too. We survived on that and Spaghettios for three years.

Violet Nyte (Vi) asks: Vanilla Coke or Vanilla Pepsi?

Heero: Diet Pepsi.

Duet: Pepsi's always better than Coke.

Wu Fei: I believe it's 'Not So Vanilla, Vanilla Pepsi'

Duo: Heh, there's goes Tori's Coke-favoring readers.

Trowa: No great loss.

Wu Fei: Yeah, all three of 'em.

Quatre: Well, if they weren't leaving before, they are now.

Duo: We should get rid of the French readers while we're at it.

Tori: Would you guys stop that!?

Trowa: Stop being racist against Coke-drinkers and the French? Never.

Tori: You couldn't be racist if you wanted to… For all you know, you could be French.

Trowa: I know… It's just fun to joke.

Duo: Communist.

Trowa: Dago.

Duo: *points at Heero* Pearl Bomber. *points at Quatre* Hijacker. *points at Wu Fei* SARS. *points at Duet* …mine.

Trowa: *points at Duet* Carpet licking mafia princess dago strumpet no-penis.

All: *laugh*

Quatre: Ignore the jokes, Tori… No one's serious about them.

Tori: Just. Don't. Be… Offensive. I think this year we all learned that not everyone appreciates your jokes, Duo and Heero.

Duo: I'll admit it.

Heero: Aaand I'll blame Duo for exploding things out of proportion.

Violet Nyte (Vi) asks: Wufei, we find it hard to believe you're straight. Everyone but Wufei, comments?

Trowa: Definitely not straight. He's in denial.

Quatre: It's my fault… I left the closet door open when I came out and he snuck back inside.

Wu Fei: Ah-

Duet: Everyone BUT you, Wu Fei!

Wu Fei: …

Heero: He's definitely at least half gay. He gave Duo a hickey the day he got back.

Wu Fei: *grins*

Duo: I was the victim…!

Duet: It's cute… *pokes Duo's neck*

Duo: Yeah, at least this one's visible.

Violet Nyte (Vi) asks: Imagine you're trapped on an island: What three anime would you take? (pretend you have a VCR/DVD player and a TV)

Duet: Gundam Wing, Gravitation, aaaaaaaaaaaaaaand YuGiOh because it's a long running one so I won't get bored with it too fast.

Duo: GWing… Evangelion, and yeah, YuGiOh by the same token.

Heero: I would bring all of DragonBallZ, then lash the DVD cases together to make a crude raft and use the remaining five thousand disks to make fire and kill things for food.

Trowa: Yeah, DBZ. That would up my incentive to kill myself so I guess I wouldn't be on the island very long.

Quatre: I'd bring FLCL and Excel Saga, then watch the dubs until I went completely insane and stopping caring that I was damned to spend the rest of my life on an island.

Wu Fei: I'd just bring Eva… On a deserted island, I might actually have enough time to ponder the deep meaning of it all. Same with FLCL and .hack//sign.

Tori: FLCLwas just Gainax blowing off steam and cashing in on the popularity of Evangelion. They said so themselves.

Violet Nyte (Vi) asks: What three manga would you take?

Duet: …all Gundam Wing, Gravitation, and YuGiOh.

Quatre: Nn… The Excel Saga manga is impossible to read. The layout is so cluttered and confusing.

Violet Nyte (Vi) asks: What food would you choose an unlimited supply of?

Duo: Orange chicken and Pepsi.

Trowa: I'd get sick of all that sweet stuff… Turkey and cheese sandwiches and Propel water.

Duet: Propel water, the berry kind, and… Pizza! It'll be just like college!

Quatre: Are we still on the deserted island?

Tori: Um, I don't think so…

Quatre: Then Spaghetti-Os with meatballs and Propel.

Tori: You guys really like that stuff, don't you?

Heero: Propel is a nice meal substitute.

Wu Fei: I could live on teriyaki chicken from Sarku and Sierra Mist.

Heero: Hot pockets and Propel for me.

Tori: It's funny listening to you people talk about food… *pokes Heero in the ribs* You look like you eat just enough to keep from withering away.

Duo: Ah, you know we could out-eat anyone…

Tori: I know you could. Quatre and Duet on the other hand…

Duet: Food is for the living, sustenance is for the existing.

Quatre: That's a morbid way of saying we're just not as hungry. We are the short ones after all.

Wu Fei: Don't give us that 'short' BS, Quatre. You're almost as tall as I am.

Trowa: …back to the being short thing…

Wu Fei: … *glares at Trowa* Ya'know…

Violet Nyte (Vi) asks: And finally, do you burn the rum?

Heero: Never.

Trowa: Who in their right mind would EVER burn the rum?

Duet: Seriously… Rum has so many other functions. It's the most useful thing on the island. I say burn the trees.

Quatre:It's not that important…

Duo: *counting off fingers* It keeps you happy, it keeps you warm, it dulls pain, it makes dead animals taste better AND stuff.

Trowa: Stuff?

Duo: Stuff.

Wu Fei: There you have it, folks.

Violet Nyte (Vi) asks: Have you ever heard of Akino Arai? (please be kind, she's my idol!)

Heero: Heard of her… Haven't actually heard her.

Tori: I'm sure you have on the radio…

Heero: Not that I noticed.

Duo: What's her style? I mean…all the enka songs are pretty much the same to me.

Tori: She's okay. I've only heard a few of her songs. I wouldn't call her enka though.

Wu Fei: I would.

Quatre: Anything sung by a girl is enka to you…

Wu Fei: But Shinya-

Quatre: Shinya's a man, Fei.

Wu Fei: No. Now you made me forget what I was gonna say.

Violet Nyte (Vi) asks: And last but not least, If you could invent a Crayola, what would it be called?

Duo: Well…

Quatre: I'd make a rainbow Crayola! And with it spread peace and happiness and harmony to everyone! ^__^

All: *stare at Quatre*

Quatre: …that was a joke.

Duet: I certainly hope so.

Trowa: I don't think Crayola has enough shades of brown… I'd make a really dark one and call it Heero's Hair Brown.

Wu Fei: We should give Heero a crew cut in his sleep…

Heero: *covers his messy brown hair* That's quite alright.

Wu Fei: I'd make some metallic ones. And not the metallic where they just put sparkles in orange and grey.

Quatre: …Duet? *pokes her a few times*

Duet: I'm awake…

Quatre: Crayon.

Duet: Am not.

Quatre: No. Crayon color and name.

Duet: *curls up against the arm of the couch* Shiny…gami.

Quatre: *rolls his eyes and runs a hand through his hair* Alright… We'll regroup tomorrow.

Heero: This stupid chapter is never gonna get finished.

Tori: Didn't we start it in August?

Duo: Oh well… There was a wedding…we had an excuse.

Holly asks: O_O CAN SOMEONE PLEASE GET RID OF WHATEVER IS HAUNTING MY HOUSE?!

Heero: o.o Do we look like the Ghostbusters?

Wu Fei: I love those movies…

Trowa: Could we be the Ghostbusters?

Duet: I wanna be the secretary.

Duo: I bet we still have those dorky backpacks and that yellow box from fourth grade.

Duet: We should go clean out the basement.

Duo: I'm up for it. *stand up*

Tori: Sit yer ass back down, you lesbian.

Duo: … *sits back down*

Holly asks: Everyone, what's your favorite movie?

Tori: English. Live-Action. I'm not typing down a grocery list of every hentai, yaoi and yuri between 1970 and now.

Duo: Mmm… Definitely Dogma. And Meet Joe Black.

Duet: Both with sexy Shinigami, I see. I liked Stigmata and Dogma's a given. And Monty Python and the Holy Grail.

Trowa: BladeRunner… The first Matrix…

Quatre: Interview With A Vampire… Lestat's so hot. ^__^

Heero: Battle Royal.

Wu Fei: Office Space.

Holly asks: Everyone, what's your biggest fear?

Duet: o.o Butterflies.

Trowa: If she was joking, I'd laugh… *shakes head and holds face in hands* But she's not joking.

Tori: What's your biggest fear, Tro?

Trowa: Um… probably buying food that someone's tampered with. Like if someone spit in my salad or something. Makes me paranoid.

Tori: *waits* C'mon, guys… Out with 'em.

Wu Fei: *shudders* I hate black olives. I think they're the most disgusting things in the world… Even the smell of them makes me sick.

Tori: It's not what food you hate; it's what you're afraid of.

Wu Fei: But I'm terrified of them. If you put one on me, I'd probably scream like a little girl.

Quatre: I'm afraid of losing control. That helps with my resolve to never drink and never touch drugs again. I never want to not be in control of the situation.

Heero: Remember that time we gave Duo acid and the video camera?

All sans Duo and Tori: *burst out laughing*

Duo: …it wasn't that funny…

Trowa: *dying of laughter* He recorded a lamp for ten minutes straight making motorboat noises and then he started crying!

Duet: That video is my anti-drug… *laughing* He walked into the laundry room, screamed, and ran out.

Heero: Then he was laying in the hallway and you can hear Trowa asking him all these questions… and he just keeps saying "Or IS it?"

Duo: You guys are so evil… I'll never touch a picture of a star again.

Holly says: Duet, Duo, anyone else who answered my high school question thingy, this isn't a question really, but ^__^ I made a friend, so I'm happy now *thinks of next question*

Duet: That's great, Holly! And I'm sure by now you have many, many more. ^__^

Duo: *shaking finger* Don't do acid, kids.

Holly asks: Everyone, *gets out her yearbook and flips through pages* Ok... what's your pride and joy?

Quatre: My car… I'd hurt myself if anything happened to it.

Wu Fei: No you wouldn't.

Quatre: That's just an expression. I know there are more important things.

Duet: *pats tummy* I don't have a pride and joy yet. But for future reference, it's Damien or… *looks at Duo*

Duo: …I thought we weren't playing this game yet?

Wu Fei: Don't get quoted saying that or if one does appear, it'll be branded a mistake.

Duet: Then it can join our damn club.

Holly asks: Everyone, *flips to next page* What would you bring on a deserted island?

Heero: Them. *gestures to include the rest of the people in the room*

Duo: Yeah. Worst comes to worst, we can always eat Wu Fei.

Quatre: Everyone loves Chinese.

Wu Fei: …I dunno… I had some pretty good Italian this afternoon.

Duo: I hope for the sake of your life you're talking about pasta.

Wu Fei: If by pasta you mean your wife.

Both: *stop and make faces*

Wu Fei: That really does sound weird.

Duet: Can't we just go back to referring to me as the girlfriend?

Trowa: Nah, we can just refer to you as his woman.

Holly asks: Everyone, what do you say so often that it could be quoted?

Duo: With you ladies, it's probably 'Shinigami knows all'.

Trowa: And in real life, it's 'FUCK-DAMNIT!'

Heero: Quatre's would just be a very annoyed "What!?"

Quatre: You make me out to be so mean…

Wu Fei: Trowa's could be "Shit. I forgot…"

Duet: Fei, yours is "Oh well." or "Fuck that."

Wu Fei: Better than "Ahhh… Stop! Nnnn! Oooohhhh…!"

Duet: O.O *backfists Wu Fei square in the chest* Boy…

Heero: No, Duet's is just "Are you stupid?"

Duet: And what's your line, Heero? *holds heart* "Was it good for you?"

Duo: No, his is "Wanna hang out at my place?"

Wu Fei: Now it's just "Where're the condoms?"

Quatre: "Have you seen the handcuffs?"

Trowa: "Did you take the hot oil out of my room?"

Tori: Could you be more immature?

Duet: *giggles* "Do you like my pee-pee?"

All: *start giggling like the children we are*

Holly asks: Everyone, what will you still be doing in 20 years?

Duet: Drawing maps for MapQuest.

Quatre: You know, if that were true, that would explain so much.

Duet: No, I'll still be acting like a little kid in twenty years.

Trowa: I'll still be living, I hope.

Duo: I'll still be lovin' you. *pokes Duet in the shoulder*

Duet: ^__^ *leans on him* I shouldn't be so lucky…

Quatre: I'll still be dating guys. ^__^

Wu Fei: Heero'll still be pimping.

Heero: Will not. I'll still be racing people at red lights.

Wu Fei: I'll still be on good terms with you guys hopefully.

Quatre: That'll never change. We'll always be in love with each other first and foremost. Whatever happens.

Heero: That's right. Anyone who decides to leave our group gets a cap in the ass and a New Jersey funeral.

Holly asks: Everyone, what's your most embarrassing moment ever?

Heero: *eye twitches* Senior year of high school…

Tori: Why?

Heero: Trowa and Fei ganged up on me in the locker room.

Trowa: When he was in the middle of changing we ripped his boxers off, dragged him into the hallway and locked the door .

Heero: …while people were still changing classes and going out to lunch.

Quatre: *inspecting his fingernails* You got a few girlfriends out of it, didn't you?

Duo: That was one of the greatest days of my life… *laughs*

Wu Fei: Even better than when we locked Quatre in the gym locker naked?

Duo: *looks at Quatre* You used to be really short… You just fit in the big lockers.

Trowa: Duet still fits.

Duet: Shut yer mouth, boy.

Quatre: That was pretty embarrassing…Especially because you can see right into the gym lockers.

Duet: What's yours, Wu Fei?

Wu Fei: The time we got suspended for trying to kill each other with plastic utensils.

Duet: That wasn't embarrassing…That was just funny.

Wu Fei: Alright then. What was yours?

Duet: *shrugs* I do so much stupid stuff that I don't get embarrassed anymore. The worst though was probably that time Duo and I were late for school so I was getting dressed on the way and I dropped my shirt. I leaned down to pick it up and when I sat back up, we were at a red light next to Mrs. C.

Duo: She never looked at me the same again…

Wu Fei: Roadhead is such a weird word…

Duo, Duet & Wu Fei: *laugh*

Holly asks: Everyone, can someone please recommend somewhere I can get a crash course in cooking? Mom won't cook for me as much as she used to >.>

Duet: IRON CHEF!!!

Quatre: So that explains the attempt at sardine ice cream…

Duet: It was a MOUSSE, not ice cream.

Quatre: *holds up his hands* I didn't try it either way… ^__^

Heero: You're a lucky man, Quatre… I still can't look at sardines.

Netorie Maxwell 199 asks: Duo, do you remember having a sister?

Duo: Uh, can I pass?

Tori: >__< Duo…

Duo: C'mon, this isn't fair.

Wu Fei: Just answer the damn question.

Duo: But it's too long a story… And it won't make sense to anyone.

Tori: The more you talk like that, the less sense anything'll make.

Duo: Well of course I don't remember her! I've never even met her.

Heero: Zoom... *passes his hand over his head*

Wu Fei: Right over their heads.

Netorie Maxwell 199 asks: Trowa, what's you favorite color?

Trowa: *shrugs* Red.

Heero: Red?

Tori: Aka?

Trowa: Red.

Tori: Gotcha.

Netori Maxwell 199 asks: Tori, do you like cats or dogs?

Tori: Anou… I like both. But I love my kitty Cinnamon.

Duet: On the other hand, she does like Heero…

Heero: …what are you implying?

Tori: Let's sing the SI Song!

Duet & Tori: Araaaaaa! It's SHAMELESS! Anouuuuu! It's BORING! But that's the way life goes! Baka baka baka baka! Ooooo SELF INSERTION!

The Boys: o.o*

Wu Fei: You made that up all by yourselves, didn't you?

Tori: Actually, Makoto did. It's a KamikazeDucks thing.

Duo: So the humor was lost in translation?

Duet: *whaps Duo*

DemonessOfPunishment (D) asks: Are we sure Wufei is straight? I don't think he is...

Wu Fei: How many times are people going to ask this question!?

Duo: Until you tell the truth.

Wu Fei: D, I thought you were my friend.

Duet: *laughing* Just say it, Fei. You're queer.

Wu Fei: I'm queer by association!

Em2 asks: What your favorite T-Shirt motto?

Duo: Um… A lot of 'em are funny initially, but after a while, they're just not clever anymore.

Duet: I'm pretty fond of my "Anime: Crack Is Cheaper" tank top.

Trowa: I like my "Property of Sotsu" shirt I got at that one convention. The irony never fails to amuse me.

Heero: What about the "I Am A Terrorist" shirt we got Quatre?

Quatre: Or your "I Like To Bomb Things" shirt, Heero?

Heero: Yeah… Never wear a shirt that says "I Like To Bomb Things" to school around the time of a bomb scare. A lesson hard learned.

Em2 asks: What is your motto on life?

Duet: You only live once! ^__^

Quatre: It's your friends that make living worth while.

Duet: Awww… *hugs Quatre's arm*

Quatre: Excuse me, I said 'friends'.

Duet: You cock-loving bastard.

Quatre: *smiles* Your my best friend.

Duet: Damn straight, bizzach.

Em2 asks: If you could be any inanimate object in the world what would it be and why?

Duo: A chair… So I could finally go to Otakon.

Tori: *snorts* I get it. I'll take lots of pictures for you next year. *winks at Duo*

Duo: You lucky little bitch.

Tori: And I'll say hi to-

Duo: DON'T finish that sentence.

Trowa: Remember when we used to start the Inanimate Object RPs on Neopets?

Duet: And people would actually come?

Trowa: …we're such freaks.

Duet: *glares* You never let me be the dresser.

Em2 asks: What breakfast cereals do you like?

Duo: Rice Crispies. And Chex.

Duet: *sticks tongue out* Milk and cereal… I like mine dry.

Heero: I like frosted flakes.

Quatre: Chex are good.

Wu Fei: Whatever we have in the pantry. It doesn't matter.

Trowa: I like the oat bran stuff.

Duo: Well you're a loser.

Duet: … I like that too.

Duo: Well you're a girl so it's okay.

Em2 asks: Which breakfast cereal would you be and why?

Duet: Frosted Flakes because I'm "Grrrrreat!"

Duo: Rice Crispies, so I can 'Snap, Crackle, Pop'

Trowa: You used up all the good slogans…

Wu Fei: Well, I could be Cheerios and prevent cancer.

Em2 asks: Trowa, sheep? Which one were you trying to get to for goodness sakes??

Trowa: What about sheep?

Duet: I see sheep.

Trowa: What was I trying to get to that involved sheep?

Duet: Aberdeen.

Trowa: Oh. Well that answered the question.

Em2 asks: Duo, do you like the yahoo group? And thank you for joining up by the way.

Duo: No problem. Yeah, it's cool. But I haven't been there for a while. And I accidentally subscribed to the e-mail update thing, so when I went to check my mail, I had 285 new messages.

No One Important asks: I was just re-reading the Ground Zero manga and wondered… They made a big deal about Heero upgrading Zero, but no one says a thing about Duo upgrading Deathscythe Hell. Why?

Trowa: It was for the sake of the plot…

Duo: Besides, we upgraded after him.

Heero: Wing's upgrade was more like a repair. It was nearly ripped apart during the destruction of Libra.

No One Important asks: In the Battlefield of the Pacifists manga, what did happen in that motel room?

Duo & Heero: *exchange looks*

Heero: We had hot, wild sex. What did you think?

Duo: -___- I hate that manga… Damn seductive straw.

Quatre: My suit was referred to as a camel.

No One Important asks: How can anyone say that Last Outpost has nothing to do with Gundam Wing? Wufei appears at least twice (or at least his MS does), Quinze appears, and Une even plays a part in the first issue!

Tori: What!? Who said that!? Last Outpost is SO a part of Gundam Wing!

Wu Fei: I mean, even if it wasn't… The Domon comics in the back make it totally worth it.

Duo: I know… The translation in them is just…superb.

Tori: *glare of death*

MaWrenn asks: Tori, who is your boyfriend? And what was the other half of the conversation you held with him over Duo being your bitch in chapter 9?

Heero: I'm am. Tori's ashamed of me.

Tori: I'm definitely not! I'm proud to say I love you.

Heero: Are you going out with me out of pity?

Tori: O.o No. Why? Are you going out with me out of pity?

Heero: Hell no.

Duo: Ah, romance. The other half of the conversation was Heero answering his cell phone and answering Tori's questions. Nothing exciting.

Tori: You know, I've never dated anyone younger than me except for you.

Heero: And I almost never pick up a non-virgin. You're one of the few.

Duet: Well, you can't judge who you'll love by your lover. When ya getting' married?

Tori: Me? Get married? I don't think so…

Shackled Lover asks: Why is Noin the only one that takes a shower in the series?

Quatre: Because without the occasional shower scene or explosion, the show would have become almost totally shoujo yaoi.

Shackled Lover asks: Why do the G-Boys not eat?

Duet: What are you talking about? They eat like pigs! We have to go grocery shopping all the time.

Duo: I ate a hamburger at the end of Endless Waltz.

Wu Fei: Trowa and I had soup and coffee. And Cathy had tea.

Heero: Relena had tea in Endless Waltz.

Quatre: And on Peacemillion, there was food everywhere!

Tori: You have an interesting definition of 'everywhere'.

Trowa: Well Duet and Quatre are anorexic.

Duet: You know damn well I eat.

Shackled Lover asks: Duo, who was the lucky one you got married to?

Duo: Hear that? You're lucky.

Duet: You don't have to remind me… ^__^

Duo: Ah, I just got married to the love of my life. No one major…

Duet: You know, as cool as I think my name is, which it's not…. It's kind of weird being married to a 'Duo'. *looks at him*

Duo: And this…hasn't bothered you at all when we were going out or engaged?

Duet: Sure it has… But I'm not really up for changing my name.

Wu Fei: For the rest of your lives… People are just going to assume you're related.

~*~*~*~

Zer0Kataru asks: To all (including Tori, Relena, etc) How do you feel about Gundam Seed being superior to Gundam Wing in every way except bishounen-ness and (MAYBE) plot?

Heero: *shrugs* Eh…

Relena: My feelings exactly.

Duet: It's the bishounen-ness that counts! That plus plot makes Gundam Wing superior to EVERYTHING!

Quatre: Then by those standards, we're being owned by Gravitation.

Duet: Hm, that's true. I would ANYONE from Gravitation. Even the host of Quiz Depot.

Relena: I dunno about Ayaka… But Mika's my kind of woman. I'd love to fight for top with her.

Tori: I think Noriko'd be fun in bed.

Heero: I love these girls… *grins*

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Tori: Well, Duet was right when she said "…you jinxed it, Quatre. Now it won't get up until October."

Duet: 'Course I was right. I'm infallible.

Tori: Like the pope?

Duet: Hell no. The pope's wrong more often than MapQuest. He's just an old jackass with a big hat. He makes me not want to be Catholic… and he's tainting my country with his presence.

Tori: Mad that he denied us queer the pursuit of happiness and condemned them to eternal hellfire?

Duet: Just a bit.