Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ Moments in Time ❯ Words Are Funny Things ( Chapter 11 )

Title: Words Are Funny Things
Warnings: I don't even know where to begin...implied yaoi, unbeta'ed, painfully silly, disjointed, what the hell was I thinking...
Pairings: 1x2x1
Rating: PG
Challenge: accents
Word Count: 1,022

"Words are funny things," Duo announced at breakfast one morning.

Heero looked up from his coffee. "And to what do we owe this earth shattering revelation?"

"Funny, Heero. Just for that I should make you guess."

"Aa," Heero agreed, turning his attention back to his morning repast.

Duo made a sound of exasperation. "You always do that."

"Do what?"

"Just agree with me no matter what I say."

Heero set his cup down. "You know that's not true. Remember that time-"

"I only suggested we paint the living room black because sometimes I swear you're not listening to me. I have much better taste than that."

Heero licked his lips. "I'll say."

Duo grimaced. "Heero, you are the weirdest person I know. You cannot possibly be serious when you say that. I mean, I don't want to hear something like ew, ew, ew when we've just gotten hot and heavy, and man, I love it when you swallow, really, but nobody thinks it tastes good."

"Hmmm." Heero looked at him speculatively, then got up and walked to the wall phone where he picked up the receiver. "I could conduct a bit of research to see if that's true."

"You are not seriously going to call Quatre to ask him-" Duo didn't wait to find out if Heero was going to call his bluff. He shot out of his seat and enveloped Heero in his embrace, trying to pin the other man's arms to his side.

"Heeeeeroooo," he wheedled, attempting to bat his eyelashes coquettishly.

Heero tried to continue the charade, but Duo's exaggerated expression had him snickering. He surrendered the phone, and Duo slammed it back onto the cradle in satisfaction.

"Maxwell one, Yuy zero."

"Where's my point for getting you out of your chair in the first place?"

Duo poked him in the side. "Keep it up, Heero."

When Heero started to snicker a second time, Duo rested his chin on Heero's shoulder and sighed. "I give up. I've corrupted you." He released Heero and returned to his seat.

"The long suffering spouse role suits you," Heero commented as he followed suit. He picked up his cup and took a long, rather noisy sip.

Duo scowled at him briefly before returning his attention to the newspaper he'd been reading.

They were both silent a moment before Heero asked, "why are words funny things?"

It took Duo a moment to remember what had prompted that comment.

"Just the way they came to mean what they mean, and how written and spoken words carry their own weight. For example," he gestured to a political cartoon, "there's no 'I' in TEAM. Geez, that expression is grating. It's supposed to be all a real rah-rah statement about putting the team first, but if there's no 'I' as part of the team, then what am I doing there to help the team out to begin with?

"Besides," he continued. "technically speaking, the word 'me' is in there."

"So is the word mate," Heero said, hiding his smile behind the rim of his cup.

"You," Duo said, pointing a finger at him, "have a one track mind."

"Didn't hear you complaining last night." Heero pursed his lips and blew on his coffee.

"That isn't even hot anymore, Heero! I swear, you are hopeless. And for your information, I have all your little seduction tactics figured out. Although you're welcome to try new ones."

"So there's no 'I' in team," Heero responded.

"Yeah. That's the written word benefit, because you see the word, visualize the word. On the other hand," he paused to make sure he had Heero's complete attention, "there's the spoken word, and the damned homophones."

"Like your, you're, and yore."

Duo squinted as he tried to place the third meaning of the word, and then nodded. "And their, they're, and there."

"What's that?" Heero said abruptly, squinting at something in the other room.

"What's what?"

"That," Heero pointed in some rather indeterminate location.

"I don't see anything."

"You've got to look underneath."

"Under where?" He slapped himself on the head as soon as the words left his mouth. "Heero, I always thought your sense of humor was a bit more sophisticated than that."

"You did brag about corrupting me."

"I refuse to take responsibility for the more infantile aspects of this newfound sense of humor of yours."

"Words are funny," Heero said, an ambiguous smile playing about his lips.

Duo reviewed his previous statement and frowned.

"Humor," Heero quoted slowly. "A secretion that is itself an excitant of activity."

"Did J read you the dictionary before bed or something, Heero?"

"Nope," Heero said. Half a heartbeat later, he added, "I read it to myself before bed."

"Ha ha ha," Duo said. "You're quite the comedian, Heero. You should go on the road. I'll bet you'd play to a full house."

Heero got up and walked behind Duo, then wrapped his arms around him and leaned over his shoulder.

"You're like a damn cat," Duo protested weakly, but he only half-heartedly tried to push Heero away.

"Funny thing about words," Heero murmured.

"Now what?"

"There's no 'I' in team," Heero said.

"Yeah, we've already covered that."

"There's no ai in a lot of four letter words."

The way Heero said it, despite the soft laughter in his ear, had Duo turning around in his chair and pulling Heero to him in a deep kiss.

As he led Heero to the bedroom, he turned and looked over his shoulder.

"Your seduction techniques still suck, you do realize this."

He turned back around and grinned as he climbed onto the bed. Knowing Heero, he'd read a double entendre into his choice of words.

"So come here," he said, leering at Heero, who was still standing in the doorway. He crooked a finger. "And you can interpret that any way you like."

Heero accepted the invitation and their lips fused together again.

They both lay together afterwards, sated, and Heero murmured three words in Duo's ear.

Duo smiled and repeated them back.

Words were funny things, at times.

And sometimes they could make him smile even when they weren't.

~~~~~

accent - n. archaic : a word or group of words : UTTERANCE