Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ notice ❯ Appointment ( Chapter 8 )

Title: Appointment

Overall Rating: NC-17 for mature themes. Not for the impressionable.

Chapter Rating: PG

DISCLAIMER: The series Gundam Wing and the characters therein do not belong to me. I'm just putting them in different situations to see how they react.

Chapter Summary: A screwed up appointment and its aftermath.

* * *

We were a bit early for Duo's appointment, which was probably a good thing. I was amazed at the amount of paperwork necessary to start a 'chart'. There was the expected request for vital statistics: name, address, place of employment and the like. There was also a form for his medical history. He snickered a bit as we tried to decide whether the field surgery done during the war should count.

The statement regarding confidentiality was probably the most gratifying. Duo actually sighed in relief as he read it. It seemed they were not permitted to divulge any information at all without Duo's permission unless there was a court order. No one would know about the problems he was having unless he allowed it.

It was the final form that had the greatest impact. This one asked about why he was there, what he hoped to accomplish, as well as a list of pertinent happenings and concerns for him to circle his choices.

I had looked over the paperwork briefly before Duo started filling them out, curious as to what was involved. The privacy issue also applied to me. I would know only what Duo chose to tell me. I studied the waiting room, determined not to 'peek. He deserved his privacy. I cared, but didn't want to intrude.

His small gasp, however, caught my attention. His pen was hovered over one of the choices in the 'recent events' section. He seemed to be debating as to whether or not to circle it. I glanced at the form and could see why.

Rape.

What had happened that fateful evening was what had driven him over the edge. That term didn't fit…exactly, but …

Duo looked up at me, his expression inquiring. 'Should I or shouldn't I' it was asking.

"It's up to you."

Duo closed his eyes a moment in thought, then circled the choice, placing a question mark next to it. "I can always explain it."

"True."

The required paperwork completed and turned in, it was now a matter of waiting.

The appointment time came and went. We were told that it was very unlike this counselor to be late like that. The receptionist tried calling him to remind him and let him know Duo was there. We found out that while the receptionist had made the appointment, the information hadn't been relayed to the counselor. There was no way he would make it in time.

Duo seemed devastated. He had managed to make it thus far, but now what? There was another slot available at 1:00 pm if Duo could come back. I wasn't sure if we left, that he would come back. This was hard enough on him. But he agreed to it.

"Now what?" I asked as we climbed back into the car. "We have about four hours to kill. We could get something to eat if you want."

He turned to me, an odd expression on his face. "No. I want to go home."

"All right. If that's what you want." I started the car, a bit disappointed that he was giving up so easily.

Duo took a deep breath, then continued. "Filling out those forms sort of did something to me. On the way here, I was half planning on not really saying anything, just bull-shitting my way through it. But now, I really can't do that. I've already admitted to thinking about hurting myself, and will have to explain the question mark." He placed his hand on my arm. "Heero, if this guy decides that I need to be locked up, then I'm ready. I'm not…afraid anymore. I feel like I have a mission." I glanced at him. "The mission? Get Duo help," he said with a snicker. "Mission accepted, as you used to say." His expression sobered again. "I do want to go home, Heero, but I'm going there to pack my things. I'm want to be prepared, if that's what happens." He gave me a small grin. "Just like in the war, you know? Hope for the best, but prepare for the worst, ne?"

His words lightened my heart. It seemed that he was no longer letting this thing get him down. Now, he was fighting back. This was more the Duo I knew.

I smiled back at him. "Let's go get you packed."

* * *

We arrived at the office later that afternoon in a brighter frame of mind. Duo's duffle was already in the trunk, ready in case he wasn't coming home with me. He was as prepared as he could be.

The hour Duo was in with the counselor was one of the longest I had ever spent. I knew that I couldn't be with Duo during the actual session, but the not knowing what was happening was eating at me. That privacy issue be damned. I wanted to know what was happening with Duo!

Finally, he emerged. Things must have gone well because he had a smile on his face and the bounce was back in his step. In no time, another appointment was made for the following week and we were on the way back home.

"So, how was it?"

"Not as bad as I'd thought it would be. The guy is really nice and easy to talk to. I told him everything…about the date and the feelings I've been having."

Duo became suddenly quiet. I glanced at him then quickly pulled over.

His face was pale, his eyes wide and panicked. "What did I do?" he whispered. Oh gods, I really did. I told him everything."

Suddenly, I realized what was bothering him. If he had done that during the war…

"Duo," I told him, taking his hand, "the war is over. You didn't betray anyone."

I watched as my words sank in and the color slowly returned to his features. "I did what I was supposed to, right?"

"You did exactly what you were supposed to do."

After a minute he calmed down and smiled slightly. "Good thing he wasn't an OZ interrogator, huh? He really knows how to get you to talk. I never would have dreamed that I'd totally spill my guts like that."

"You trusted him."

Duo was silent for a moment, thoughtful. "Yeah, I guess I did. Wufei said I could, and I know I trust his judgment."

Things were quiet for a bit while Duo digested this. After a few minutes, he continued. "After I spilled my guts for a while, he told me what my options were and we talked about them some. Then he explained what his plan was for my treatment. Oh, and he gave me some homework."

"Homework?"

"Yeah," Duo sighed, "homework. I'm supposed to go over that date in my head and write down everything I was thinking during it. He told to make a list of all the thoughts and beliefs I had during that period of time, no matter how off the wall they are. We're supposed to go over it next week."

"What kind of treatment options did he tell you about?"

"He said that there were three different intensities of treatment: crisis intervention, a residential treatment center, or outpatient therapy."

"Which one are you going to do?"

"The outpatient treatment. It's slower and not as intense as the residential one, but I can make the appointments around my own schedule. No missed work and no having to explain why I was out of work."

"Good choice."

He grinned at me. "I thought so."

"So, you won't be needing your stuff after all?"

"Nah. After I told him about you and the guys, he decided I didn't need the crisis intervention. You'd already taken care of that. One thing I do need to do, though."

"What?"

"I need to see Sally Poe."

"What for?"

"He suggested that I get a prescription for an antidepressant. You know how my moods have sort of been going up and down?" I nodded. "Part of the problem could be a chemical imbalance. The medication will help to even things out."

"That will make you feel better, anyway," I agreed. "What about the wanting to hurt yourself? Did you tell him about the scratches?"

"Yeah. Remember when I told you that it was a pain that I could focus on and admit to? He said that it was pretty normal. It happens to a lot of depressed people. He said that some people really can do some major damage to themselves. I told him about you and how you keep such close tabs on me. I also told him about the promise I made you guys the other night, that I'd call before doing anything permanent."

"What did he say to that?"

"He said that he had a good feeling about me, since I had been honest with him. He trusted that I wouldn't do anything without going to someone first." Duo snickered again. "He also said that, after what I told him about you, if I ever did need the crisis intervention that he had a feeling that you would drag me in. Kicking and screaming if necessary."

I considered that. "Hai, I would. So now you have homework to do and we see if the medication helps, right?"

Duo nodded. "I'm not really looking forward to the homework part, though. Writing down what I was thinking will be easy, but the beliefs and assumptions is gonna take some real thought and soul-searching." Suddenly Duo snickered. "Ok, he didn't exactly wave a magic wand, but I do feel better. Ya know, Heero, I think I'm really gonna be ok."

"Like there was really any doubt?"

"For a while there," he said quietly, "yeah, there was."

"Hey," I said, squeezing his hand, "let's go home and get you unpacked."

* * *

Unpacking took almost no time. I was in the kitchen making coffee when I felt warm arms slide around my waist. This was immediately followed by a hard body being pressed against my back and warm, moist breath caressing my neck. I knew exactly who it was. Disregarding the fact that we were the only ones in the apartment, Duo had always been the only one who could ever successfully sneak up on me.

"Unpacked already?"

"Mmm hmm."

Duo began sucking at a sensitive spot behind my ear. I couldn't help gasping at the electric bolts of pleasure that action caused.

"D-Duo, what are you doing?"

One hand started tracing circles on my abdomen as that hot mouth slowly started moving down the side of my neck.

I gripped the edge of the counter for balance, my knuckles white with the strain. I'd dreamed of this…recently. If he kept that up, I was going to be dragging Duo back into the bedroom. On second thought, screw the bedroom. Right here in the kitchen would do just as well.

"Saying 'thank you.'"

My eyes flew open as those words sank through the lustful haze that clouded my brain.

"Duo, don't." Gently I removed his hands and turned around. That beautiful face stared at me in hurt confusion. "You don't have to do this."

"I'm sorry." Duo's eyes fell and he turned away. "If you don't want…"

I grabbed him and pulled him back against me. He started slightly I pressed against him, allowing him to feel my erection. "You have no idea how much I want you."

"Then why…?" he asked as he turned back towards me.

"I want you, but I refuse to use you like that. It's still too soon. When you're healed and not…scabbed over, only then will I permit myself to show you, physically, how much I love you. Can you understand that?"

"I suppose so."

"Good." I gave him a quick kiss and a light shove towards the table. "Now, I believe that you have homework to do?"

Duo groaned. "Thanks a lot, Heero. You really know how to spoil a mood, don't you?"

"When I have to," I told him as I started toward the bathroom, thinking a cold shower was definitely in order.

"Where are you going?" he asked.

"I'm going to leave you alone so you can think without my interference."

"I still want to thank you for all you're doing for me."

I paused in the doorway and looked back at him. "Then get well…" I could hear his laughter as I completed the statement. "…quick!"

TBC