Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ Pain of Life ❯ Chapter 17

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

Disclaimer: I only own any original characters. Other than that, I own nothing.

Pairings: You should now them by now.

Rated: This rating is brought to you by the letter R. ^_^

Author's Note: It's been so long! I'm so sorry! I am updating! Yeah! No time to talk. At the end! Now read! Read!

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Duo paced the floor back and forth, his fists clenching and unclenching. He couldn't believe it. Out of all the days, why couldn't he come after he had left? He continued pacing back and forth, trying not to destroy anything in his rage. His control didn't last long and he took the closest thing to him, which happened to be a chair, and he flung it across the room. It smashed into the mirror that hanged against the wall, and Duo watched as it shattered, raining glass to the floor. He still shook with rage, and now his fists were clenched at his sides to the point where they began to leave crescent shaped marks in his palms.

"Shit.", Duo mumbled as he looked at the glass.

He backed away from it, until his back pressed against the opposite wall. He slid down, drawing his knees close to him, his arms locking around them. Things had been going well; hell they were going great. Why did he have to show up? Why today of all days? He lowered his head, his face hidden from anyone who decided to walk in, and he forced himself to not even think about crying. He wouldn't let Heero affect him like this. Why should he let the bastard get to him?

"I actually have feelings for someone.", Duo admitted to himself, burying his face in his arms, "And it just happens to be him."

He sat there like that for a few minutes, calming down as his mind ran over the fact that he would leave and probably never look back. He figured that wasn't as bad as it sounded. Though Noin was forever ringing in his ear that Wufei needed his older brother, he had the slightest notion that Wufei was just fine without him. He couldn't say that his hatred for Wufei was gone. And even if it was, his jealousy that he had had over the years (Une's psychiatric discovery) was still there. Waning, but there. Being so deep in his thoughts, Duo couldn't hear the sound of Noin's signature approach of clicking heels.

"I thought the point of your anger management classes were so that you could manage your anger?"

Duo slowly glanced up at her, violet eyes weary. Noin looked around the room to see if there was any other damage. Lucky for her, the chair was still intact, though she couldn't say much about the mirror. She sighed before looking up to Duo, whose head now rested back against the wall , and she gave him a smile. He had changed over the past months. She had to say that she hadn't much liked him before. He had been an abuser, in every aspect of the word. He was hurting someone, and he was hurting himself. Though now he had made a sort of turn around. Even if the anger and the entire "I don't care" persona was an aspect of Duo that he was born with, she was content with where they had gotten to. There was one final thing she had to see for herself though.

She brought her self closer to Duo, slowly crouching down in front of him. Blue eyes met violet and she reached a hand out in an offer to help him up. Duo accepted without so much as his usual grunt or mumbling.

"So what happened?", she asked as they stood, her eyes looking to the mess of glass and then back again, "I'm pretty sure that this had a reason behind it."

"I had a visitor today.", he told her, letting himself fall onto his bed.

Intrigued, Noin took the other chair that was still standing and placed it next to the bed. She sat, one leg crossed over the other and her hands folded on top of her knee. Her eyes looked at Duo, and when he glanced at her, he knew she was asking to know everything without asking at all. A hand ran through his bangs, and he stared up at the ceiling.

"Heero came.", he explained in two words.

Noin didn't need to hear anything else; she had heard enough. There was no need to figure out the rest of Duo's tale. She had a pretty good idea of what their confrontation was like.

"What did he want?", she asked, Duo sitting up in the bed.

"What else would he want?", Duo answered with a question, "All he ever wanted was to use me as a way to get to Wufei."

"I don't know if that's it.", Noin admitted, though Duo could be absolutely correct.

"That's always been it.", Duo insisted, turning to face her, "I wish I could hate him."

"Who, Wufei?"

"No. I can hate him, though I wouldn't call it hate."

"Envy?", Noin tried, "You wonder why Heero wants both you and Wufei?"

"I guess so.", Duo tiredly answered, "I just know that I don't have to deal with it anymore. I told Heero to stay away from him, and I'm leaving. I won't have to deal with him."

Noin sat silently, watching as the boy continued to contemplate further. It was a good ten minutes until Duo remembered that she was even there and directed his attention back to her.

"So when do I get out of this hellhole?", he asked with a smile, and Noin merely shrugged her shoulders.

"Whenever you feel like leaving."

Duo stood from his bed to glance around at the room that had been his residence for the past months. Tonight he'd leave all this behind. Hell, he wanted to leave right now and that was exactly what he was going to do.

"Let's get out of here.", he told Noin, crossing to his suitcases and grabbing them, "I don't care where you take me for now, just as long as I leave here"

Standing, Noin walked to Duo, her hand rising to give his arm a squeeze.

"You have some day ahead of you.", she told him before walking out of the room, into the hallway.

With only a raised eyebrow, Duo followed after her without a second thought. He stepped out into the hallway, resting a suitcase down to close the door, and never look back.

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Wufei sat at the kitchen table, his nose buried in a book as a bowl of cereal sat in front of him. He had slept in this morning, meaning he had missed breakfast with the others. By the time he had woken himself up and sluggishly climbed down the stairs, Quatre was rushing out the door. Where to, he didn't know. It was probably to the airport. With a good morning and a kiss to the top of his head, he was gone.

Nalini was the next to go, her mother had come to pick her up. A very beautiful woman, who was just as friendly as Quatre was. With small talk as Nalini dragged to get ready, since she wanted to stay and greet her "other daddy" when he came, Wufei got to see just exactly where Nalini got her looks from. As they left, Wufei turned to the kitchen, only to walk into Zechs, toast in mouth and violin case in hand. He had lessons this morning, and he was late, as usual. With what sounded as a muffled "I'll see you later", Zechs walked out of the door.

Wufei had stood and watched as it was closed behind the blond-haired teen, and he stood there as the silence of the apartment drowned over him. He then realized that out of everyone else, he was the only one who didn't have plans. With a sigh, he headed back upstairs to brush his teeth, shower, and grab a book while he was up there. Now he sat in the kitchen, waiting patiently for the time to pass. He had called Trowa, but his boyfriend had work. He had promised that he would be there tonight, since he and Zechs (but mostly himself) had asked him to go with them tonight.

He lowered his book for a moment to look up at the digital clock that was part of the stove. It was exactly 12 noon, meaning that only an hour had passed. Zechs wouldn't be back for another half an hour, he had no idea when Quatre would be back, and Trowa wasn't off until six. He had to suffer both boredom and loneliness for a while. His cereal had turned soggy, so it was no longer appetizing, and he wasn't in the mood for reading. Closing his book, he stood from the table, walking to the sink and emptying the contents of his bowl into the disposal. He had been used to the deafening silence of the apartment, that he jumped when the phone rang, nearly causing him to drop the bowl. As his heart tried to return to its normal pace, he rested the bowl into the sink, making his way to the phone the sat on the kitchen counter.

"Hello?"

"Wufei.", a female voice, "How are you?"

"Uh. . . fine.", he answered, not sure who he was talking to.

"It's me, Noin.", she provided, hearing the confusion on his voice, "I just called Quatre, he told me you were home alone. How about you come spend the day with me?"

Wufei stopped for only a moment to think about it before shrugging his shoulders. Then remembering that she couldn't see him, he told her, "Sure."

"Great. You're dressed, right?"

"Yeah."

He frowned as she hung the phone up, and then raised an eyebrow in question as she walked into the kitchen, smile on her face. He saw her hold up a key, most likely given to her by Quatre.

"Well, lets go. We only have until six."

Wufei hung up the phone, as Noin looked at him, almost impatiently. The two stared at each other, until Noin only turned and headed out of the kitchen. It was a good thing he decided to place his sneakers downstairs. He was sure that Noin wouldn't have waited for him to go up for them. Grabbing his keys from the side drawer, he followed her out of the apartment and then eventually out of the building. Her car was parked a few paces away and as they drew closer, Wufei froze and his heart nearly stopped. He didn't know whether or not he was seeing things, and he wanted to pinch himself to make sure that he wasn't asleep.

Duo stood leaning against the woman's car, arms crossed and cigarette in hand. His eyes sported sunglasses as the looked down at the sidewalk, unaware of Noin's arrival, since Wufei had stopped two cars back. He watched the woman pluck the cigarette from between Duo's fingers and drop it to the ground. He had expected Duo to verbally lash out, but the man only looked up at her, as if he didn't care at all. The two exchanged words that Wufei didn't try to make out and he watched as Noin pointed in his direction. Now he was completely frozen, a deer caught by headlights, as he felt himself stop breathing. Duo had looked up at him, one hand removing his glasses, and those violet eyes pinned the now scared boy on the spot. The two stared at each other for what seemed to Wufei like hours, as Duo studied him, and Wufei watched his older brother with wide eyes. He was only able to breathe again when Duo turned away to look to Noin again. They exchanged words again, and he watched Duo climb into the car with a glance back. Then Noin was walking in his direction.

"Wufei, I know you're in shock right now, and you probably aren't to sure about this, but I need you to come with us. I promise that everything will be fine."

"But. . . ", Wufei started but was unable to continue.

He had wanted to say that Duo didn't want to see him, that he'd most likely hurt him, and Noin read exactly what he was thinking as she looked down at him.

"Wufei, you have to trust me.", she pleaded, hands resting on his shoulder, "I wouldn't have even thought of doing this if I knew he'd hurt you and if I knew there was no good to come out of it. Just for today, only for today."

Wufei stared at the car, where Duo sat in the front seat, he could feel the braided man's eyes watching from the rearview mirror, and he had the idea to head back up to the apartment and lock the door behind him. However, Noin was pleading with him, short of begging him to do this and as he looked up to her, he knew that she could be trusted. She was the woman that helped him to begin with, he was sure she was doing the same at the moment. So he nodded his consent and Noin smiled to him. It did however take some coaxing for him to start walking to the car, and as he drew closer, he felt his body start to tremble. It was more from nervousness then fright.

The convertible's top was down, since it was such a nice day, and Wufei timidly stood next to it, waiting for Noin to open the door. She did so, and since it was a convertible that had only two doors, Duo had to climb out, in order for him to climb in. He felt his heart start again as Duo turned to face him, and he wasn't able to look away as those eyes stared down at him. Unaware to Wufei of course, Duo was nearly as nervous as he was. He wasn't sure what to say to the boy he looked down at. So he opted for not saying anything at all, but he could feel Noin nudge him in his back, and he cleared his throat. His hand rose to scratch behind his head, and he winced inside as Wufei flinched. What had he done to this boy?

"Hi.", was all he could muster, and he looked back to Noin who gave him a very small smile.

She left the two on the passenger side of the car, walking to the driver's seat. She climbed in as the two brothers continued to stare at each other. It was up to her to get things moving if she wanted to ever leave from this spot.

"I'll drive off and you two can find your own ride.", she told them starting the car.

"Oh.", Duo was the first to snap out of whatever it was he was in, "I'll get this for you."

He held the seat forward so that Wufei could climb in and he looked up to see that boy's face no longer held wide-eyed trepidation, but shock and confusion.

"Get in.", was Noin's command, and Wufei followed.

He mumbled a thank you as he climbed in, and Duo muttered the your welcome. As soon as Duo had climbed in and the door closed, Noin started to pull the car away from the sidewalk.

"Seatbelts.", was her last command before the car made its way down the street.

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Heero found himself sitting in Starbucks, a now cold regular coffee in front of him, as he glared down at the table top as if it was the cause of today's events. He had tried his best to not get Duo angry, which he knew wasn't possible, but he still tried. He knew where he had gone wrong. He shouldn't have mentioned Wufei; the damned tease. He wish he could figure out why he had brought up the Chinese boy to begin with.

"Your obsessed with trying to find him.", Heero answered himself, fingers now drumming the table top.

He knew he was right, he was completely infatuated with the boy. Though it wasn't his fault. Wufei was siren to him. Irresistible, seductive and oblivious to the fact. Maybe that was why he was angry? He had been insatiated sexually for the past four months, and he couldn't find Wufei. He had no clue as to where the boy could be. He wanted him and he couldn't get him.

No, he was sure that wasn't it. His need to ravish Wufei had somewhat waned, though he knew he still had the urge to have Wufei underneath him. He knew there was something else eating at him. He was pretty sure of it. It hit him suddenly, as he heard a nearby couple discussing a trip; Duo was leaving. Where he was going, Heero wasn't meant to know. It was obvious that Duo didn't want to be found. At least he didn't want to be found by him. What the fuck was that about? What had he ever done to the Irish man? He heard a list being read off in his mind and it only caused his anger to grow. He knew what he did, he just wasn't sure if he should feel guilty or not.

'You should.', a voice, what could only be his conscience told him, 'It is your fault he ended up in rehab.'

He didn't respond, only grunted really, his hand curling around his cold coffee. Guilt wasn't an emotion that he was used to feeling; he was sure of that. He let the subject drop to go back to the fact that Duo was no longer going to be in his reach. He didn't very much like that idea. What he hated even more was the one little fact that if he wanted to find him, which he knew damn well that he would, he wouldn't be able to. Fuck, he didn't much care about the fact that he no longer had a buyer at his disposal. He had made enough money from dealing drugs to be satisfied for the rest of his life. So why the fuck was he so angry?

'Just because he's leaving and you'll be alone.', the voice teased, and he felt his hand crush the coffee cup, 'You like him more then you think you do.'

"Will you shut the fuck up!"

His little outburst caused the conversations to die, as other patrons watched him as if he was a madman; which to them he probably was. He was yelling at himself, though most thought that he was talking to the occupied table next to him. He glared at everyone who stared at him, which caused them to quickly turn back to their own caffeinated products. Slowly, the small buzz of multiple conversations returned, and Heero looked back to the table. He swore as he found his hand still crushing the paper cup, coffee now dripping over the side of the table. Lucky for him, it had missed his pants completely.

Standing, he made his way toward the bathroom. He didn't linger, only quickly washed his hands, dried them and left the restroom, before making his way out of the coffee shop. He stopped just outside, looking down at his wristwatch. He had headed to the rehab center to see if he could convince Duo in returning back to the house with him. He heard that Duo was able to be checked out, and that was why he was there. He had intended to bring the braided man home, but instead learned that the he was leaving the state entirely. Hell, he was leaving the country. Heero started to walk down the block, his hands burying into his pockets.

He let his mind think over a few things as he walked, not much paying attention to where he was walking. His conscience that had decided today of all days to make a debut, was blabbering away in his head. He did however find himself agreeing, though unwillingly, to many of the things that it pointed out. He was angry because he was losing everything. He had first lost his chance of getting anywhere with Wufei, then he had lost everything he ever used to make a profit for himself. His drugs were now in police custody. He should be grateful that Wufei or Duo hadn't provided his name. Now to the subject of Duo.

He had known him since high school, and since the very first day he and the braided man looked at each other, he had him. Duo had been his. The first time they had talked, hell the first time they had fucked, was another sign to him that Duo basically belonged to him. He had taken advantage of that, and was an idiot to think that it would last. He was surprised it lasted this long, but Duo wasn't stupid. He was bound to notice sooner or later that Heero was using him. Now that he had, Heero was pretty sure that Duo wasn't aware of the fact that the only reason Heero had kept him around that long wasn't only because he was using him. He had a bit of a possessive streak to him. He had gotten to Duo before anyone else had, he didn't want to lose him to anyone. That was the reason for his anger. He was losing Duo, meaning anyone could have him now.

'Why do you want him?', his conscience asked him, 'It's like you love him or anything.'

He heard the mocking laughter, though it all was a figment of his imagination, and he knew that was something he didn't know himself. He had no idea why he had this possessive streak over Duo. He couldn't love Duo, because loving someone meant that you were committed to that person. It meant that you wouldn't fool around and all other things you're not supposed to do if you just happened to be in "love" with someone.

'You only did that so you could think that you didn't love him', his conscience said for him, 'You're a coward when it comes to admitting feelings.'

He paused in his walking, ready to have a one sided argument with his own mind. Though he decided to keep his mouth shut, people were already looking at him, almost expecting him to do something. He found himself in front of a bus stop, and he sat on the bench, though he didn't need the bus that stopped there.

'You can't ignore the fact that I'm absolutely right.'

He continued to ignore the voice in his head, his eyes staring across the street. He noticed that as much as he hated to admit it, he had fallen in love with Duo since they first met. However, thanks to drugs, booze, and sex from others he barely knew, he was always unaware that he was. Though he did know that he had cared in some odd way for him. He wouldn't have stayed with him for that long or fucked him more than once if he hadn't. Well what a fucking waste of time this was. He had come to terms with most of the things he didn't understand, the most important of all to be precise, and Duo was leaving. He was probably gone by now. He swore under his breath and ignored the giggling voice in his head. Though he himself had stopped taking drugs, well at least all but marijuana, he was sure he was still experiencing some of the side-effects of it.

As he leaned back, he let his thoughts start to slip away from him, until he was thinking of nothing in particular. There was a truck across the street in front of a small store, that was being unloaded at the moment. He didn't know why it had caught his attention, he probably had found one of the workers kind of hot. As a worker climbed out of the truck, he found why he had become interested in the first place; he recognized one of them. Standing from the bench, he crossed the street, not much paying attention to oncoming traffic. He ignored every horn and profanity that was directed at him, intent on catching the guy before he could enter the store. He made it just as the young man entered the truck again, and he leaned against it, waiting for him to exit again. Box in hand, the young man walked out only to stop in his tracks. He blankly looked down as Heero smirked up to him, his arms crossed.

"Hello, Trowa.", Heero greeted.

The boy continued ignoring him, walking down the ramp and toward the store. Heero followed close behind, right into the store where he waited until Trowa rested the box down and faced him.

"What the hell do you want?", demanded Trowa, pushing past the man.

Before he could walk away, Heero grabbed him by the arm, pulling him to the back of the store near the freezers.

"What the fuck?"

"Listen I need to ask you a few questions.", Heero told the boy, who glared daggers at him, "Your little boyfriend, I need to talk to him."

"Fuck off, Heero!", Trowa threatened, his body tensing, "There's no way in hell I'll let you know where he is. I know what you fucking tried to pull."

Heero's mind ran over a few memories, and he remembered the night he had tried to take what he wanted from Wufei. That's how strong his lust for the boy was. Hell, it could also help in his defense that he had treated himself to both cocaine and whatever it was he had in his stash at the time. However, it wasn't going to help his case with Trowa.

"Look, I'm not after your precious little boyfriend.", Heero told him, "That little time of wanting him is over."

"And why should I believe you?", asked Trowa, body trembling in his struggle to control himself.

To tell the truth, Heero wasn't sure why Trowa should believe him. He did lie about not wanting Wufei. Though he was sure that he didn't want him as much as he wanted Duo. Hell, for all he knew, his entire "I wanna fuck your brother" thing was another attempt of him trying to avoid the fact that the one he really wanted to fuck, was Duo. What the hell was his problem?

"Look as much as I know that you'll never trust me in a million years, I need to know where he his.", he tried, trying to sound as trusting as he could manage, "I need to ask him some questions about his brother."

"No!", was Trowa's answer before he tried to leave again.

Heero really wanted him to give in, so he pushed him back against the freezer, all kindness and half assed generosity gone. He glowered at the green eyed boy, hands slamming against the freezer at either side of his head.

"Listen, I want to know where the fuck Wufei is and I want to know now."

Trowa said nothing, jaw clenching and unclenching as he continued to hold back from lashing out. Heero laughed, he was going crazy, he knew it. And Trowa wanted to be a stubborn asshole. Though he couldn't blame him. Well then, if he wasn't going to get anything from him, he did have to admit that he enjoyed getting the Latino boy angry.

"You're one lucky bastard.", Heero told him, stepping back, "You've already fucked him, and you know where he is, too. So anytime your cock starts begging to fuck something besides your fist, you can just take a ride over to wherever it is he's hiding. What's it like fucking him, Trowa? I bet he has the tightest ass, and you have him all to yourself. I dream about fucking him myself and though you may not want to help me, I'll find him. You better bet your ass that when I do, I'll fuck him for all he's worth. My dick's getting excited with just the thought of it."

Trowa's anger could no longer be contained and Heero felt a fist strike across his jaw. The share force of it knocked him back into the shelf behind him, and the cans fell to the floor. He was expecting it, but he was still caught off guard. He then felt the boy grab him by the shirt, pulling him closer, and he saw the unbridled rage that blazed in the green eyes that glowered down at him.

"You sick fuck! You had better stay the fuck away from. You want to keep that fucking cock of yours, I suggest that you erase Wufei from your memory. I swear, if you lay a finger on him, I'll castrate you."

He was then shoved back, and the banged boy stormed out of the store. Heero took that as his cue to leave. As young as Trowa might be, he was sure that the boy was angry enough to kick his ass without really trying to. He wasn't looking forward to that. His hand rubbed his jaw as he straightened himself, and he started to leave the store. The man behind the counter gave him a wary look as he left, and his eyes connected with Trowa's as the boy returned to working. With a chuckle, Heero figured it all out. Trowa would have to eventually lead him to Wufei. He was pretty sure about that. So all he had to do was follow him. He wasn't exactly happy with the fact that he'd have to stalk the boy, but whatever he had to do to get to Wufei, he'd do it.

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The car pulled up to a small restaurant, and they climbed out, Noin handing the keys to the valet. They entered inside, Duo and Wufei getting stares since they wore jeans to what looked like the kind of place to require a jacket. Noin made her way to the host, who glanced over the brothers in near disapproval. She knew that he was going to complain, so she shut him up ahead of time, resting down a pair of one hundred dollar bills.

"I understand the dress policy, but I already made a reservation for two. Do you think you'll be able to overlook their state of dress? Just this once."

Gladly taking the money from her, he motioned for them to follow. Before they could, Duo stopped Noin in her tracks. She was heading in the opposite direction of the man.

"Noin, what do you think you're doing? Aren't you staying?", he asked, near panic present on his voice.

"God, no!", she exclaimed, checking her watch, "I have work to do, and I'm busy all day. I figured you'd be all right on your own."

She couldn't leave him alone with Wufei. He wouldn't know what to do. What the hell could they talk about? He wasn't ready to confront him just yet.

"Noin, I can't-"

"Just try.", she told him, walking away, "I'll catch you later. Drop by my office around six. Ciao."

Duo and Wufei were only able to stare at the door as Noin exited, and then stood in place, not sure what to do. Turning to Wufei, Duo tried to say something, but the boy quickly looked away. Great, this was just peachy. Not only did he have to spend time with Wufei when he wasn't ready to, but he had to do it alone. He was at least hoping that Noin would be present. However he felt about it, it made no sense to just stand there, so he walked over to his brother. He wanted to reach a hand out and tap him, but he wasn't exactly sure what Wufei would do. He was still scared shitless of his presence, and he was sure that he would be for a while.

"Why don't we go and sit down?", Duo suggested, placing his hands in his pocket.

He was sure he was intimidating enough, he wanted to make sure Wufei knew that he had no intention of hitting him. Besides, it was a public place. Though that's not suggesting that he would want to hit him once behind closed doors. He had sat through hell and high water with Une to get over his anger. Though now that his hate for Wufei had waned, he was still uncomfortable with being in this situation.

Wufei had only nodded in an attempt to answer, and Duo watched him rush off after the host. Most likely it was to temporarily to get away from him. He couldn't blame him. With a sigh, he followed after him, and soon the two were seated at a table, menus in front of them. It served as an excuse to not look at each other. Both had figured what they wanted since the beginning yet they feigned their indecisiveness. Finally Duo looked up, tired of the silence between them. He rolled his eyes as he watched Wufei raise the menu to hide his face, and he stretched over to snatch it away from him. Wufei jumped and he continued to look down.

"Fei, I'm not going to hurt you."

Wufei felt his breath hitch in his throat. What had Duo just called him? He couldn't believe it, wouldn't believe that he heard him right. He slowly looked up to Duo, whose eyes stared back at him, and he suddenly felt his throat tighten.

"What?", was all he could muster, and he tried to swallow the lump now forming in his throat.

"I said I'm not going to hurt you.", Duo repeated, looking down as if ashamed.

Which he was. He was trying to show the boy that he wasn't the same person that he used to, but it wasn't working out as it should. He knew Wufei was still sure that he'd strike out at him at any moment.

"No.", Wufei said suddenly, "I meant, what. . . what did you call me?"

Duo shrugged, not really sure what Wufei wanted to know for. If it started a conversation, he didn't much care then.

"I called you Fei."

"Why?"

Suspicion was dripping on Wufei's voice and Duo felt that it was only normal. Wufei had no reason to trust him.

"I called you that because it's shorter than Wufei.", Duo explained, "It's a nickname. You know what that is, right?"

"I'm not stupid!", Wufei snapped.

Ducking his head, Duo apologized, and Wufei was once again shocked. Duo had never apologized to him in his life.

"I won't call you that if you don't want me to.", Duo told him, looking up to call for a waiter.

This wasn't going as he wanted and he needed a distraction, as short as it may be. Wufei sat silently pondering everything. He was acting pretty unfairly. Though he did think he had the right to suddenly feel angry. Duo had hit, beat, nearly murder him all his life, told him that he never wanted to see him again, and now here he was trying to act as if it had never happened before. What did he expect, Wufei to welcome him forgivingly with open arms? What if Wufei was now the one that didn't want him back? What Wufei wanted to know was why, why here and why now?

Before Duo could signal a waiter, Wufei slammed a hand down on the table. It caught his attention which he was trying to get, along with a couple of other patrons. Duo looked to Wufei, finding that the boy looked pretty pissed, and he was sure that the anger would be soon directed to him.

"Uh-"

He wasn't even able to get a word in before Wufei started.

"What the fuck is all this about!", the boy demanded, not bothering to keep his voice low, "After a life time of abuse from you, you think you're cured and that you can just pop up and everything will be as right as rain!"

"No I-"

"You told me that I should get used to where I was, meaning that I'd never see you again, right!"

Duo kept silent, not sure if he was to answer that question.

"Right?", Wufei barked, a woman at another table jumping.

"Wufei-"

"Then why the fuck are you here!", Wufei yelled, now catching everyone's attention, "What the fuck do you want from me? You hate me, remember? You wish that I had never been born. I'm the bastard son of the Chinese slut! What the fuck could you want from me now, when all you ever wanted to do was scar me physically and mentally!"

By now the same host that had led them inside was standing over their table. His customers were uncomfortable with the scene. That wasn't good for business. The boy would have to tone it down or they would have to leave.

"Excuse me-"

"Fuck off!", Wufei commanded, his eyes glaring daggers up at the man.

He caught site of the rage in Wufei's eyes and thought it best to leave this little problem alone for while. He was sure that the boy would cool off on his own. Excusing himself, he turned to leave and Wufei was back at glowering at his older brother, who shifted nervously in his chair.

"Why?", Wufei asked, his throat suddenly tightening, "Why now? Why after all those years of telling me how much you hated me, telling me how much I disgusted you, why are you toying with me like this?"

Duo, noticing he had the chance to answer, had no answer. And he only opened his mouth to close it again, looking down away from the boy. He couldn't look at him, Wufei was on the verge of tears.

"Did Noin put you up to this?", he asked, a hand bunching the table cloth in his fist.

Duo didn't answer, he didn't move. He didn't know what to tell him.

"I knew you were only doing this because of her.", Wufei said around the lump in his throat, "It's not like you really cared. Well, you know what; fuck you, Duo! I don't want to have anything to do with you!"

As Wufei stood, the rest of the patrons watched as he stormed out of the restaurant, their eyes then turning back to Duo. He ignored them, or tried to, but he found that he couldn't any longer. Rising from his chair, he pushed his way past the host who tried to encounter him and ran out the door. Down the block, he saw Wufei storming away, and he ran to catch up with him.

"Wufei!"

At the sound of Duo's voice, Wufei walked faster, wanting to put as much distance between him and his brother as was possible. Duo noticed and sped up himself, intent on stopping him before he went off and did something stupid in this emotional state. It didn't take him long to reach him, and he slowed down to walking as he came up behind the boy.

"Wufei."

"Get the fuck away from me!"

"Wufei, would you stop and listen to me!", Duo barked, grabbing Wufei by the shoulder and spinning him to face him., "Just listen damn it!"

Wufei wrenched free of Duo's hold, though he didn't turn to storm off again. His arms only wrapped around himself, and he looked down to the ground. He didn't want to look up at Duo, he'd only end up crying. He remembered what tears did for Duo. Said brother watched as Wufei continued to avoid staring at him, trying to gather what he was going to say.

"I didn't intend on coming here.", Duo began cautiously, "I didn't want to face you."

"Great, here it comes.", Wufei said sarcastically, "Are you going to tell me you don't want me, again?"

"Fei-"

"Don't call me that!"

Rubbing his temples, Duo tried his best to stay calm. He may have finished going through therapy, but he had yet to be done with anger management.

"Wufei.", he said with emphasis on his name, "I'm here- we're here because Noin tricked us into coming here. The bitch totally set us up."

Now when he said bitch he meant it in a playful manner. Though months earlier he was sure that he had said it with scorn.

"To tell the truth, if I had known what she was planning in her head, I would have told her no."

"Why?", Wufei questioned, angered though curious, "Don't you want to take a few last hits from your living punching-"

"Fei, shut up!", Duo snapped, Wufei cut short, "For fuck's sake, just listen. Please?"

Though he didn't want to, Wufei obliged, his jaw clenching shut as his eyes stared up at his older brother.

"Wufei, it's not that I didn't want to see you, hell I'm probably sure that I did.", Duo explained, trying his best not to sound too angry, "It's just that after getting help, I noticed all the shit I put you through. I kept thinking, how the fuck can I face him? I was told to apologize, ask for forgiveness but no matter how much I apologize to you, I don't deserve your forgiveness. I'm an asshole, hell, I'm lower than that. And I knew I couldn't face you, and I'm not ready to do so even now. I'm sorry for everything, okay. I'm not asking for you to forgive and forget, to suddenly became one happy family again. I know that's not going to happen. However, I do believe I needed to have the chance to tell you that I'm sorry."

There was a long pause after that, though Wufei could tell Duo wasn't done. He most likely had something on his mind that he wasn't sure if he should say or not. So Wufei decided to coax it out of him.

"And what else?", he asked, Duo looking away.

It had to be bad news if it took him this long to come out with it.

"I thought I should at least say goodbye.", Duo said finally, not daring to look back at him.

Goodbye? What the hell did he mean goodbye? A final farewell; he was leaving Wufei's life forever. Wufei asked the questions with his eyes and Duo could read them instantly. Wufei wanted to know where he was going and most likely why.

"Quatre's taking good care of you.", he pointed out, hand running through his bangs, "I think that you should stay in his custody. You're better off with him. Me, I'm going to head on out of here for a while; start anew."

Wufei didn't say anything, but he knew that he wasn't sure how to take the news. Where could Duo be going? Why was he going? Was it because of him? He didn't understand, he wasn't sure if he wanted to. Though he was curious as to where exactly Duo was bound. Though when he thought hard enough he had a pretty good idea.

It took some thought, but after awhile, he knew that Duo was truly trying his best to make amends for what he'd done by disappearing out of Wufei's life. He told Wufei that he didn't deserve nor did he want his forgiveness. Then was he just hoping for the boy to accept his apology then? He'd at least give him that, since he had to give the man credit for even trying, knowing that Wufei could spit in his face and tell him to fuck off. The man had balls. Wufei looked to Duo, who shuffled from foot to foot nervously.

"I won't forgive you.", Wufei said, startling Duo, who then only shrugged.

"I already told you I didn't expect you to."

"I will accept your apology. However on one condition. . . well two."

"What's that?", Duo asked, now curious.

"I need to know why.", Wufei told him, "Why everything you put me through?"

Duo found it best to answer that question with the truth. There was no use in sugar coating it.

"I was jealous, angry, depressed.", Duo answered, "I came from a line of abuse, so it was the only way to take out everything. You were my target, because you were so vulnerable, and I knew that. Or at least that's what Une told me. My mother had killed herself, and I pinned the blame on you because I was too stubborn to admit that she caused it on her own. I was too afraid to admit that Da was to blame as well."

Wufei let everything the braided man told him sink in, trying to see how and why he fit in as Duo told him the story of his life. Not to his surprise, everything fit perfectly, right into place. So that meant, that somewhere deep down inside, Duo had the same affection that Wufei had wanted to get from him. Meaning that he really did see him as his brother. Right? Hell, Wufei didn't care. He couldn't stop himself, but he had already moved forward, arms grasping onto Duo tightly. Duo stood wide eyed and stiff as Wufei hugged onto him, face buried into his chest. It was a few moments before he felt the boy's small frame start to wrack with sobs.

He let him cry. Though he wasn't sure what he was crying for. A lifetime a tears he was sure. Hesitantly, he wrapped his arms around Wufei, not wanting to hold him too tight, though inside his head a voice was screaming at him to hold tighter. To pull him closer and comfort him. He was sure that the hatred he had had for Wufei was still residing in him, and he did feel it. However, it died as Wufei's hold grew tighter and more desperate. He pulled Wufei closer, his face burying itself into the boy's hair, and he tried his best to comfort him as much as he possibly could. He was sure he himself was on the nerve of a breakdown, but he would let Wufei have his moment. He deserved this more than he knew he did.

He heard Wufei sob something in Mandarin and Duo only smirked. Wufei had thought he wouldn't have understood what he said, but he knew exactly what it meant. He had heard those words exchanged between him and the boy's mother, (and her and their father), plenty of times to know what it meant. As a hand rubbed Wufei's back soothingly, Duo moved his head so that his chin was resting on top of the boy's head.

'I love you too, Wufei.'

T.B.C.

Yes, I know, a cliffhanger. I finally update and it's a cliffhanger. I'm so sorry everyone, I really am. I have limited internet access and I figured that I better get a chapter up. I hope it's a good one at that. I'm pretty sure there's like two chapters left and an epilogue after this. I know things were pretty rushed, but I'm being rushed by my evil sister to be done with her computer a.s.a.p. As she put it, she doesn't want any of my crap here when she leaves. Which won't be for another two months, but the internet access is scheduled to last until July something or the other. Well to cut things short, I apologize again for the delay and I hope that everyone enjoyed the chapter. Ciao. ^_~