Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ RNDM True Stories ❯ In All Fairness ( Chapter 3 )

Tori: Hmmm.. Haven't used the word "randomness" lately…

Awa & Kegawa: …¬⌐__¬⌐ `(¬⌐-¬⌐)'

Tori: ^___^

~*~*~*~*~*~

Trowa: *home from work, opens the front door, throws his jacket and briefcase on the couch, and walks up to the computer to see Duet sitting there in a t-shirt and her underwear* …

Duet: *spins on chair to face him* Hey, Tro! ^__^ Welcome home! *chair continues turning*

Trowa: Were you…dressed at any point today?

Duet: Ummm… Nope!

Trowa: …

~*~*~*~

Wu Fei: *in the kitchen in front of the stove, singing* Makin' macaroni! Yeah-huh! I'm makin' macaroni! With noodles and cheese and-

Duo: *burst out laughing*

Wu Fei: *whirls around* DUO!

Duo: WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! *runs out of the kitchen with his camcorder*

~*~*~*~

Trowa: …

Heero: …

Trowa: …

Heero: …

Trowa: …

Duo: WHAT are you two doing? Having a staring contest?

Both: Yes…

~*~*~*~

Duet and Stanton are both eating lunch in the cafeteria of one of the business buildings.

Duet: *walks to the table and sits down*

Stanton: *looks up* What?

Duet: *looks back where she had walked* I dropped my pen.

Stanton: …

Duet: It's right there!

Both: *look at pen in the middle of the floor*

Stanton: Sooo… Go pick it up.

Duet: I can't.

Stanton: Why?

Duet: Because it's been there too long.

Stanton: Huh?

Duet: Well, if I go pick it up now, people will be like "What a loser! Just now she realizes she dropped her pen!" or "Oh no! She's stealing that pen!"

Stanton: Nobody'll be like that.

Duet: Yes, they will. They'll all judge me.

Stanton: … WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Duet: ¬__¬

Stanton: Don't worry. I'll get Mr. Otama to pick it up.

Duet: LIKE HELL YOU WILL!

Stanton: *flags down his boss, of all people* (in Japanese) My friend seems to have dropped her pen and she's too embarrassed to pick it up. Would you get it for her?

Mr. Otama: … *gets pen and lays it in front of Duet* (in perfect English) I live to serve.

Duet: *dies of embarrassment*

~*~*~*~

Duet: *lounging on the couch in her underwear* …we need more girls in this house…

Heero: Agreed.

Duo: Why? So you can victimize them and turn them into miniature versions of yourself?

Duet: Exactly.

~*~*~*~

Duo: *playing Gundam Battle Assault 2 on street level with Deathscythe* I win again! ^___^ Too easy!

Game: Next Opponent: Gato

Duo: BRING IT ON, PUSSY GAT-O!

Game: *screen zooms in on battlefield and we see that Deathscythe is completely dwarfed next to the towering mech*

Two minutes later…

Duo: I lost…

Gato's Game Pilot: How immature…

Duo: Grrr…!

30 minutes later

Trowa: Are you still playing that?

Duo: I keep losing! It's not fair!

Trowa: Why…?

Duo: Cuz that suit is fuckin' huge! If I was the size of fucking apartment complex I'd kick my ass too!

*awkward pause*

Trowa: …are you happy with that?

Duo: …yes…

Trowa: Good. Because I don't want kicking yourself in the ass later because you meant to say something clever.

Duo: Them's fightin' words.

~*~*~*~

Heero: *at the kitchen table* It's not like Duo to miss dinner…

Quatre: Is he still fighting that Gato thing?

Heero: Probably…

Trowa: *from the living room* You really suck at this, don't you…?

Duo: ONE MORE TIME!

Trowa: Screw you. I'm hungry. *walks into kitchen* What's for dinner?

Heero & Quatre: O__O

~*~*~*~

Duet: *stumbles in the back door, kicks off her shoes, and plops down at the kitchen table*

Wu Fei: *at the stove, making dinner* So, did you get the job.

Duet: *growls* Yes...

Wu Fei: Then why the attitude?

Duet: I tried so hard…

Wu Fei: Huh? *turns around to see Duet sitting at the kitchen table wearing a tee shirt that says "Fuck You, You Fuckin' Fuck"* Oh. *rolls his eyes* How depressing…

~*~*~*~

Quatre: *opens the back door and places a box on the kitchen table* I got some Krispy Kreme doughnuts for breakfast!

Wu Fei: *looks up from his coffee* You were out early this morning.

Quatre: Had to run to the credit union to cash a check. I thought maybe you guys would like something to eat.

Wu Fei: So you bought Krispy Kreme doughnuts?

Duo: *comes in* Ooo! Breakfast! *sits in front of the box and starts eating one*

Quatre: *ignores him* What's wrong with Krispy Kreme doughnuts?

Wu Fei: Nothing really. It's just that those things are-

Duo: *twitches and collapses on the bench*

Wu Fei & Quatre: …

Quatre: …good investment…

Wu Fei: *holds up a hand* Wait.

Duo: *starts giggling like a moron and rolls off the bench*

Wu Fei & Quatre: *exchange looks* HEERO! BREAKFAST!

~*~*~*~

Duet: *listening to MP3s on the computer and singing along* Times are not changing… All of this means nothing… And we move round and round in circles! Round and round again! Cuz our mission is the future and the future never ends! We are the future girls! Woah-oh-a! The future girls. Oh-o-a…! We are the future girls. Woah-oh-a! And our mission never ends! Oh-o-a…! We move round and round in-

Heero: *shuts off the speaker and Duet stops* Don't. Ever. Sing. Pop.

~*~*~*~

Duo: Got some new DVDs! *dumps out a Saturday Matinee bag on the coffee table*

Quatre: Did you find the next Princess Nine DVD?

Duo: Yep.

Heero: Trigun?

Duo: Uh-huh.

Wu Fei: Samurai X?

Duo: Sure did.

Duet: F3?

Duo: ^__^ Of course!

Trowa: Marmalade Boy?

All: …

Trowa: Right. I'll be upstairs. *walks away*

Quatre: …was the group deathglare really necessary?

All: *deathglare Quatre*

~*~*~*~

Heero: Trowa's sulking.

Wu Fei: How can you tell…?

Heero: *both go silent as Trowa walks into the kitchen, takes a pint of Ben and Jerry's out of the freezer, and walks away* Well, for starters, that's his fourth pint this week.

~*~*~*~

Duet: *reading the Doonsbury comic in the paper* What's wrong with SUVs?

Trowa: They pollute the air and destroy the ozone and have poor gas mileage.

Duet: WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME BEFORE I BOUGHT ONE!?

Trowa: I thought you bought one because of all that.

Duet: …well, yeah…but I would have settled for a sports car and found a much more creative way to bring about the apocalypse…

Trowa: *slaps forehead*

~*~*~*~

Heero: *sitting in the living room watching TV*

Duo: *comes in* Trowa hit me.

Heero: …

Duo: *frowns and sits down*

Five Minutes Later

Duet: *comes in* Trowa hit me…

Heero: Mmmm…

Duet: *crosses arms and sits next to Duo*

Later…

Wu Fei: *comes in* Trowa hit me!

Heero: …will you people leave me alone?

Duet: Not until you set Trowa straight!

Heero: *groans, gets up off the couch and leaves*

Later…

Heero: *returns*

Wu Fei: What happened?

Heero: …Trowa hit me…

~*~*~*~

Wu Fei: Duo… What are you doing?

Duo: *looks up from his notebook* Casting.

Wu Fei: Huh?

Duo: For the "This Is Otakudom" fic. Trowa may not be into it right now, but I don't want it to fall behind.

Wu Fei: Just curious…who am I?

Duo: Andy Akshun.

Wu Fei: Yes!

Duo: You can handle that part, can't you?

Wu Fei: *rattling off lines* Two hall costumes, one cosplay costume, two bottles hair gel, one pair Jackie Chan action slippers, $300 dollars dealers room money and guns. Lots and lots of guns.

Duo: *looks up* Wu Fei?

Wu Fei: Yes?

Duo: Shut up.

Wu Fei: Right. I shall be silent liked the greased monkey.

Duo: Okay, Fei… You've got the part. Let it go…

~*~*~*~

Duo: Heero, Trowa hit me again. *rubs the top of his head*

Heero: Why? Did you say something stupid?

Duo: Yes.

Heero: …

~*~*~*~*~*~

Tori: Randomness…

Kegawa: Are you happy now, Tori?

Tori: Yes. I wish those guys would hurry up with that otakumentary, though…

Awa & Kegawa: Ditto.