Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ RNDM True Stories ❯ Es Randomness, Mi Amigo! ( Chapter 15 )

Tori: I feel so…touristy… *looks around the mall food court* You'd never know I spent almost my entire high school career here…

Rio: Regardless, the Garden State's glad to have you back.

Tori: O_o REALLY!?

Rio: Er, I'm sure it would be… if not for that little incident with the snow blower.

Tori: ¬__¬ *grumbles* How was I supposed to know there were people in there?

~*~*~*~*~*~

Trowa: He was on that thing like road salt on a black car.

Duo: o___o Since when did we start using southern metaphors?

Trowa: Since last Tuesday.

Duo: Oh… Must've missed that memo.

~*~*~*~

Wu Fei: *watching the Michael Jackson thing* What kind of mental disorder does one have to claim to get away with this crap!?

Duet: Reeeeeeeeeeeeeally bad judgement.

Duo: *pulls on his cheeks* Ah onla hahd tu suuuurgeries!

~*~*~*~

Quatre: *squirms uncomfortably and reaches up his shirt sleeve* Hey, Heero…

Heero: Yeah?

Quatre: You know how you keep loosing socks in the dryer?

Heero: Yeah?

Quatre: *pulls sock out of his sleeve* Well, I keep finding them. *dangles it in front of his face and them drops it in his lap*

Heero: That's nothing. I found a thong in my back pocket during English last week.

Quatre: -___-* …and I trust it found its way back to it's rightful owner?

Heero: Heh, yeah… right in the middle of class.

~*~*~*~

Duet: Anarchy wouldn't work in the United States. Maybe, like, in Oregon…

~*~*~*~

Wu Fei: *trying to keep track of something on his fingers* AHHH! I HATE THIS! This is like…adventures in math!

~*~*~*~

Duo: *watching Gundam Wing with Quatre and Duet, the episode where Q fences Dorothy on Libra* Well, first of all, your footwork is COMPLETELY off… That's a red card for crossing your feet.

Quatre: … *glaring at him*

Duo: And what was that right there!? YELLOW CARD for bell-punching!

Quatre: …

Duo: Geeze… You're all parries, Q. Granted, Dorothy's a psycho on the strip, but look how she holds her arm! Easy stop-cut!

Duet: Don't make fun of Quatre! Ohhh… You just got yourself another yellow card, Quat. Dropping your weapon.

Quatre: -___-

Duo: Oop. O___o Dorothy stabbed ya'. Black card. She's out. *blink blink* You…won… Without getting a single touch… You're like GHANDI!

Quatre: >__O *bashes Duo with a couch cushion*

~*~*~*~

Duo: I…have…the…pow-er… ngh… AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! IT BURNS! IT BURNS!

Trowa: Duet, you know you're not supposed to let him have those IcyHot patches…

Duo: AHHHHHHHHHH! TASTES LIKE CRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP!

Trowa & Duet: o___O

~*~*~*~

Counselor: I understand that you two have known each other very long, and that you have a very comfortable and loving relationship, as well as a complex understanding of each other, but do you really feel you're ready for the responsibilities of marriage?

Duet: *nods solemnly*

Duo: What are you saying? This isn't just a whim of ours… We've thought this through.

Counselor: You are absolutely positive that this marriage isn't simply an excuse to justify a sexual relationship?

Duo & Duet: *look at each other and burst out laughing*

Duet: *grinning, very much amused* Listen, Mr. Pawberg… If this was just about sex…I've got four guys back home who'd be more than happy to indulge me.

Duo: *snorts* I'd like to ditto that.

Counselor: *forced look of indifference*

~*~*~*~

Tori: Duo Maxwell, you just may or may not have made anime history by being THE first anime character to post a fanfic! What are you going to do next!?

Duo: I'm going to DISNEYLAND!

*awkward silence*

Duo: …oh yeah… FUCK DISNEY! WE'RE GOING TO BALTIMORE!

Tori: … -___-*

Duo: Wait a minute… WE ARE GOING TO DISNEYLAND!

Tori: o___o

Duo: DISNEYLAND CONVENTION CENTER! WHOO-HOO!

Tori: You aren't going to Otakon or Anime Expo so just sit your cute little ass down and do what the nice Sotsu employee says…

Duo: …Tekkoshokon?

Tori: NO!

~*~*~*~

Heero: Wanna see me light a match twice?

Trowa: Okay… ///_o

Heero: *lights a match, blows it out, then lights it again quickly but accidentally catches Trowa in the arm*

Trowa: *incredulous* You son of a bitch…! *tackles him*

Heero: AHHH! Sorry! Sorry! *is smothered with a pillow*

Trowa: NO! That HURT! *attempting to suffocate him*

~*~*~*~

Duo: Us saying we hate Sotsu is like when kids say they hate their parents. Ultimately, Sotsu made us who we are today, and we're generally pretty happy with ourselves. They've supported us, encouraged us, restricted us-

Mike: Woah… Woah… Back up. Sotsu's the thing you've bitched about since the day I met you…

Duo: Well, you bitch about your dad all the time. I don't mind at all, but it serves to illustrate my point.

Mike: *eyes narrow* Who are you and what have you done with Duo…?

~*~*~*~

Duet: I hate biology! I don't know shit about cells! …except that I have a lot of them.

~*~*~*~

Quatre: *making himself toast and singing quietly* Spicy Marmalade…right now for myself…

Duo: *swipes the marmalade away* I think you've had enough, Tohma… *grins*

Quatre: >__O *grabs his waffle out of the toaster*

Duo: NOOO! LEGGO MY EGGO, BLONDIE!

Quatre: Then gimme back the marmalade…

Duo: Hmmm… Hostage situation… *turns back on Quatre to think, then whirls around and tries to grab the waffle back*

Quatre: … *licks the waffle*

Duo: O__O You just licked my waffle… Maaaaaaan…now it's got Quatre spit on it…

Quatre: *takes the marmalade back and puts the waffle on the counter*

Duo: *takes a bite out of the waffle* Eh, I've tasted better parts of ya.

Quatre: Go away, Duo…

Duo: Righty-o, marmalade boy…

~*~*~*~

Heero: What'd you get for number 23?

Wu Fei: Uh… I'm not finished yet.

Heero: *leans over to look at Fei's homework* …where the hell are you and what are you doing there?

Wu Fei: o___o Math… I hope.

~*~*~*~

Duo: Heh, monkeys… They're whores for a banana.

Duet: O__o What the hell are you talking about?

Duo: o__o Yanno… Hanuman… build…bridge… Sita…Rama… *pathetic hand gestures*

Duet: -______-* No, just the very idea of monkeys whoring themselves for bananas… Who would want a monkey whore?

Duo: People…with…bananas?

~*~*~*~

Duet: Ha! I love my compression shorts spandex… They make my butt look smaller!

Heero: They can make your butt look smaller…and they STILL haven't cured AIDs?

Duet: *WHAP!* Love you too, ya bastard!

~*~*~*~

Duo: Ooooo~ooooo… Tori's afraid to fence me…

Tori: *snatches up a broom stick and whaps him over the head with it before he can react* Silence, tiny-sabre-with-no-experience-of-true-KENDO-techniques.

Duo: Woah… I, like, didn't even SEE that!

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Tori: ^___^ YAY! I went from dorm to brother's house to your Jersey house to American dorms in less than two months!

Duo: You have just been appointed our live-in maid!

Tori: o___o I'll be back in Jersey before you get back from class on Monday.

Duo: And that house better be SPOTLESS when we get back!