Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ RNDM True Stories ❯ Vital RNDM For Your Everyday Life ( Chapter 21 )

Tori: Once I ate a whole chunk of wasabi because my brother said it was avocado. *ponders* I don't think my brother likes me…

Awa: Er…

Kegawa: Just let it go, man… Just let it go.

Awkward moment of silence…

Tori: *gasp* *yells down hallway* Heero! Can we go fishing!?

Heero: …fishing sounds cool.

Awa: O__o The power to command the pilots extends outside the world of fanfiction?

Kegawa: `(-_-)' Only to Heero… and Duet when you use the right tone of voice.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ < p class="MsoNormal">

Duet: *hugging the kitten* You are SO cute! I shall love you and squeeze you and your name shall be Pocky. ^__^

Tori: You named it Pocky!?

Wu Fei: It was the only name we could all agree on…

Tori: *holds head in hands* That poor cat… He'll never lead a normal life…

Duo: I know… After that week alone in the house with you…

~*~*~*~

Pocky: *hiding under sofa staring wide eyed at Heero*

Heero: C'mere, you little monkey cat…

Duet: *in the kitchen, opens a can of tuna*

Pocky: *tears into the kitchen and jumps/scrambles onto the bench then table*

Duet: O__O *slowly inches forward, sets down the can, then runs into the living room and hides behind Heero*

Heero: ¬__¬

Duet: WHAT!? He said he was going to kill me in my sleep if I didn't give it to him!

Heero: I'm sorry, Sailor Moon… I wasn't aware you spoke Cat.

Quatre: *yells from the kitchen* DUET! STOP SPOILING THE KITTEN!

~*~*~*~

Wu Fei: *playing with lighter* Our lives are too structured… *looks at lamp on end table and sets the lampshade on fire*

Quatre: *looks up from lying on the couch at smoldering lampshade* …I never liked that lampshade…

~*~*~*~

Wu Fei: *backing into the driveway, runs over a squirrel* O__O *pulls forward, parks, gets out of the car and runs to the squirrel* You okay, little guy?

Squirrel: *completely smooshed*

Wu Fei: God damnit… How could you be so stupid!? WHY, SQUIRREL!?!? WHY!?!?!?

Jessica: *watching from front porch* Wow… he seems really broken up over that squirrel…

Trowa: …just be thankful Duo isn't home…

Kim: *rolls down her window* Get in the car, dumbass…

Wu Fei: *shrugs* Oh well. He was so stupid his death probably benefited the species.

Kim: *level stare* I know… How stupid do you have to be to run in front of a moving car…?

Wu Fei: …you're so mean to me.

~*~*~*~

Duo: *looking around living room at everyone snuggled up* Ew… we've all paired off like some…teen TV drama…

Wu Fei: *gloms onto Heero* Now we're a soap opera!

Kim: *grabs Tori's arm* I'm pregnant with your child…

Duo: And mine!

Tori: But I'm your sister!

Kim: No, you're my evil twin!

~*~*~*~

Kim: *painting Jess's nails* Jeeze, Jess.. I'm jealous. Can I have some of your boobs?

Duet: ^__^ Girlie time… Hee hee!

Tori: *braided Duet's hair* I know… damn small-boobed Asian-ness…

Kim: Oh, shut up. You've still got more than me.

Tori: Hardly. I'm barely a B. Duet, stop turning your head.

Jess: I dunno… Mine are only a C.

Duet: A C!? Blah, I'm almost there… *pokes booby* I like my boobies though.

Jess: But you're all skinny and proportioned… *laughs* I look like I'm ready to topple over any minute.

Tori: Shut UP!

Duet: Yeah, you're hot. I'd know… I've been looking. *winks and laughs*

Kim: Yeah, Jess. And Duet knows her women. *bites her lip and touches Duet's shoulder jokingly*

CRASH!

Duo: DAMNIT, TROWA! THEY WERE JUST GONNA GET IT ON!

Trowa: LEAVE THE GIRLS ALONE!

Girls: o___o *blink blink*

~*~*~*~

Trowa: *playing guitar*

Heero: *singing* You'll say we've got nothing in common… No common ground to start from… And we're falling apart. You'll say.. The world has come between us… Our lives have come between us… Still I know you just don't care… And I said… What about Breakfast at Tiffay's? She said I think I-

Duo: God damn it, woman, stop typing! What is your preoccupation with Heero singing?

Tori: *wide-eyed, points* Look. It's sexy.

Duo: *sits down, rubbing forehead*

Tori: You want him, don't you? *grins*

Duo: *nods and buries face in Tori's shoulder* I hate you, Tori Yuki Ichimura…

Tori: I love you, Duo Vincent Maxwell.

Duo: Mmm… Call me by my full name again and you can sleep in the back yard with the squirrels…

~*~*~*~

Quatre: I'm just glad to be home… I don't know why, but it seems everything in the dorm was just a bit too flammable for my tastes.

Duo: You're telling me. All those times I was in a chat and my parting words were SHIT! GOTTA GO!

Quatre: Duo, all the raging infernos you established on the cook top don't count.

Duo: *pauses* We had a lot of stove fires…

~*~*~*~

Trowa: Actually, I liked Finding Nemo. Especially the message it sent to little kids.

Heero: I know, really… "You may find happiness in life, but it will immediately be replaced with completely traumatizing sadness."

Trowa: I mean, they had a happy ending then they dedicate the movie to a dead person! Then the fish in the fish tank finally escape…only to be trapped in plastic bags.

Heero: This is why Disney sucks… First Bambi's mom, then Mufasa, now this. *shakes head*

~*~*~*~

Quatre: *sitting in computer chair, humming and tapping his fingers*

Kim: …are you dancing to sound of dial-up internet?

Quatre: *stops* Um…no.

~*~*~*~

Duo: Hold on, I got a text message… *opens message*

Message: You smell like Uzbekistan. :-P

Duo: *looks up and around the room*

Duet: ^__^ *waves*

Duo: -___-*

~*~*~*~

Heero: *leans into the living room and holds up a new box of condoms* Whose are these?

Evan & Quatre: *raise hands, then go back to watching TV*

Heero: Cool. Can I use a few?

Evan: Sure, Heero.

Heero: Thanks, I'll pay you back later, Ev. *disappears again*

Quatre: Not with sex, I hope, Heero Yuy!

Heero: *pops around the corner again and points at Evan* He tried to trade you for Ty Pennington. *disappears*

~*~*~*~

Tori: Enlighten me, Trowa. How does one get over Quatre?

Trowa: I dunno… We should start a support group.

Tori: Quatre's Exes Anonymous.

~*~*~*~

All: *involved in some discussion about fencing and the movie Ice Age*

Jess: Are cantaloupes in season?

All sans Jess: o__O

Duo: No. Wait. That's relevant…

Wu Fei: It is? …what the hell were we just talking about?

Jess: Buying melons… *blink blink*

Duo: Why were we talking about that?

~*~*~*~

Heero & Tori: *staring at Tupperware sitting in the back of the fridge*

Heero: What is that?

Tori: …I dunno. It was there when I got here in January…

Heero: O__O *grabs Tori's wrist* I think it just moved.

~*~*~*~

Heero: You open it. *slides the thing across the kitchen table to Tori*

Tori: No, you open it… *slides it back*

Heero: No, you… *slides it back again*

Tori: Hey, you're the big brave man, aren't you?

Heero: I ain't that brave… … … HEY DUO! C'MERE FOR A MINUTE!

~*~*~*~

Trowa: Hey, Duet… You know at the beginning of Gravitation where it's that kid running down the street and then it cuts to animation?

Duet: Yeah?

Trowa: You don't think… *looks up*

Duet: o___o That would be…shibby. But no, Trowa. That running kid has black hair. Trust me… I've spent many an hour pondering the existence of a Touma Seguchi and the value of my relationship with Duo.

~*~*~*~

Evan: *in the passenger seat, flipping through Duo's cd case* So… what does Duo Maxwell listen to?

Duo: Er… I wouldn't go in there if I were you. There are definitely still some Backstreet Boys and N*SYNC cds in there…

Evan: So?

Duo: And I'm pretty sure up until yesterday I had the Pokémon soundtrack, too.

Evan: …which one?

Duo: Um…all of them.

~*~*~*~

Kim: *watching Heero and Wu Fei set up a microphone stand an a speaker* What are you doing?

Wu Fei: We got bored so we decided it was karaoke night.

Kim: o___o

Heero: Don't worry… There's enough liquor in the garage to make even Wu Fei sound good.

Wu Fei: Drummers don't need to sing… *glares at Heero* …you sexy beast you.

Heero: *not looking* I love you, Chang Wu Fei…

~*~*~*~

Cop: *standing next to his squad car in the parking lot, writing out a report for a minor accident involving one of the guys' friends*

Heero: *in his car, skids out of a parking space*

Cop: *flags him down* …you idiot.

Heero: o__o The, uh, clutch…slipped.

Cop: Bullshit…

Trowa: *gets out of the passenger seat and runs over to the rest of the group, laughing*

Cop: *writes Heero a ticket for reckless driving and driving without insurance and leaves*

Wu Fei: Dumbass! Did you not see the police car RIGHT THERE?

~*~*~*~

Duet: *sees a bug crawling on the wall* O__O *grabs electric fly swatter, runs up to the bug and presses the swatter against the wall. The bug's too small to touch the electric part, so she moves it around a squishes it on the plastic rim* Awww… *looks at half-dead bug, then pokes it on to electrified part*

Bug: *sizzle*

Duet: ^___^

Quatre: Proud of yourself, aren't you?

Duet: *nod nod nod*

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ < p class="MsoNormal">Tori: Wow… A lot of randomness in just the first three days.

Kegawa: Things should really pick up when Relena gets here.

Tori: o___o Oooo…Jess has never met Relena, has she?

Awa: o___o This will be the ultimate test of Jessica's straightness…

Kegawa: Hmmm… Stunning blue eyed blonde… Drop-dead gorgeous green-eyed brunette… A new friendship quickly turns into a scandalous love affair… *takes out video camera and polishes lens* This'll be another great tape for my collection! `(^-^)'