Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ RNDM True Stories ❯ Serial Experiments RNDM ( Chapter 31 )

Duo: *sighs* Back to the monogamy of US…

Tori: Monotony, Duo.

Duo: Tori, if I wanted your opinion, I'd ask Heero.

Tori: …

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Quatre: Knock knock! ^__^

Heero: Who's there? ^__^

Quatre: Banana!

Heero: *dies laughing*

Quatre: O.o Are you on drugs?

~*~*~*~

Duo: *going through a huge thing of CD cases* AH-HA! I found the Meatloaf CD! REJOICE, HEATHENS! *looks at case he found it in* He~ey… If Meatloaf's in here…Where's Paul McCartney!? *starts going through CDs again*

Wu Fei: Heh… At this rate he'll organize the whole damn thing for us.

Duo: How come none of our Beatles CDs have "Mrs. Robinson" on them?

~*~*~*~

Quatre: Hey… Who's this new designer?

Duet: I think his name's Barry. Not positive.

Quatre: …he's cute.

Duet: *points* Paige is so coming on to him.

Both: *watching, sees he ripped his pants near the crotch* o.o *lean in*

Quatre: ¬__¬ Duet, dear… Are you looking at my man's privates?

Duet: ¬__¬ Your man? What happened to Ty?

Quatre: ¬__¬ Fine. We'll take turns.

~*~*~*~

Heero: *flicking through the channels* Hey… when the hell did we get all these channels?

Quatre: Do we get Bravo? *gasp* It's Tuesday! Turn it on! Turn it on!

Heero: *checks TV guide channel and then turns on Bravo*

Quatre: JAI!!! *sits down on the couch*

~*~*~*~

Duet: Trowa! Why are Aussies better than the French?

Trowa: Um…They're not French?

Duet: Besides that.

Trowa: They bathe.

Duet: Besides that.

Trowa: They-

Duet: Because they kiss like the French only down under. Geeze! Way to kill a joke.

~*~*~*~

Tori: Did you eat my pizza bagels!?

Wu Fei: Well… I didn't not eat them.

~*~*~*~

Duo: *singing* Another postcard with chimpanzees… And every one is addressed to me.

Wu Fei: O.o

Duo: What?

Wu Fei: What are you singing?

Duo: I was singing?

Wu Fei: Yeah, about chimpanzees and postcards.

Duo: o.O …mysterious…

~*~*~*~

Duet: *warily eyeing a half-full glass of orange juice across the table from her*

Wu Fei: Is she high or-

Duo: Cough syrup.

Wu Fei: …impressive lack of tolerance.

~*~*~*~

All: *watching Will & Grace like the bunch of queer we are*

Duo: *gasp* It's Tori! The only woman Quatre's ever slept with!

Quatre & Tori: *level stare at Duo*

Kim: Ha! It's art imitating life imitating art…

Wu Fei, Kim & Duo: *dissolve into fit of giggles*

Everyone Else: *stare at Kim*

Kim: o.o Twizzler? *offers her bag of Twizzlers*

Quatre: That little comment's gonna cost you more than a Twizzler.

Kim: Erk.

Quatre: …two Twizzlers.

~*~*~*~

Duo: *coughing fit* >__< *stops and straightens up* Just kidding.

Heero: o.O

~*~*~*~

Duet: *walks into the kitchen, sniffling and wrapped in a blanket* Who the hell do I have to sleep with around here to get some God damn tea!?

Trowa: *raises his hand*

~*~*~*~

Duo: *in the back yard twirling his fancy old black and silver scythe, cutting down small plants*

Quatre: …what do you think you're doing?

Duo: Playing with my scythe.

Quatre: *shakes head* Try again.

Duo: Practicing with my scythe?

Quatre: Wrong again.

Duo: o.o …putting my scythe… away?

Quatre: Bingo.

~*~*~*~

Wu Fei: *reading off a piece of paper* Heero, you're Squall. Tori, you're Renoa. Duo, Irvine. 'Lena's gonna be Trepe… Duet, you're Edea. Quatre, you're Seifer. I'm Laguna… So, Tro, that makes you Selphie.

Trowa: ///_o Are you serious?

Wu Fei: Well… Selphie or Zell and wear a wig. Your call.

Trowa: Oh no… Selphie all the way.

~*~*~*~

Duet: *looking at her costume pattern* Aw, fuck…

Duo: ^__^ I get a sniper rifle!

Tori: …Renoa? Is this because I'm Asian?

Duo: No… It's because you're both whiny little rich girls trying to act cool by hanging out with mercenaries and crushing all over the gay blonde and the stoic leader.

All Three: *sit and ponder that a minute*

Tori: That sounds oddly accurate…

Duet: *arches eyebrow* Profound, Duo.

Duo: *covers his mouth* I didn't mean that to sound as cold as it did. o.o That was a jay kay.

~*~*~*~

Kim: *walks into the living room and sees the guys and Duet all curled up on the couches and floor, covering their vitals and eyeing each other suspiciously* What's going on?

Tori: *walks up behind Kim* They're hitting each other in the balls again…

Kim: *points to Duet and arches an eyebrow*

Duet: I…was punched in the crotch. >__O

~*~*~*~

Quatre: This is probably gonna be the last warm day… We really should wash our cars…

And somehow this leads to…

Wu Fei: Alright, you sure? I'm closing the trunk.

Trowa & Duet: *thumbs up*

Wu Fei: *closes the trunk of his car*

Trowa & Duet: *sitting in the dark inside Fei's trunk as he drives to the store to get car soap**

Trowa: …wanna trade clothes?

A few minutes later…

Wu Fei: *opens the trunk*

Duet: *wearing Trowa's t-shirt and khakis*

Trowa: *wearing Duet's jeans and tank top*

Wu Fei: Oh wow…

~*~*~*~

Duet: *washing her car in Trowa's khakis and a bathing suit top*

Trowa: *helping Duo wash the minivan, still wearing Duet's clothes* This is the straightest thing ever…

All: *for some reason, start a huge suds fight*

Kim: Oh geeze… It's Gays Gone Wild…

Duo: I'll show you a gay gone wild. *latches onto Wu Fei and starts molesting him*

~*~*~*~

Heero: Trowa, isn't your leather wallet still in those pants?

Duet: o.o *takes Trowa's dark brown wallet out of the back pocket* Oh… it's alright.

Trowa: o.O It used to be beige…

~*~*~*~

Duo & Heero: *playing war in the front yard with three of those Burger king Pokéballs they found in the garage*

Duo: *walks up to Heero with one in his hand* Hey, Heero… I caught a Pokemon.

Heero: …I bet you did.

Duo: POKÉBALL, GO! *wings it at Heero*

Pokéball: *breaks open and a grasshopper lands on Heero's shirt*

Heero: AH! *brushes it off*

Duo: That's why they call me PokéMaster Duo… *grins*

~*~*~*~

((A/N: By request of the ladies… ^__^))

Duo: *in the chat* I. I. IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

Duo: Hey! A ladder! ^__^

Duo: Climb me!

Ladies: o.o

Cat: YEAH! I WILL!

Duo: o.o NO!

Duo: NOT WHAT I MEANT!

~*~*~*~

Wu Fei: *in the back yard, sniping things with his paintball gun*

Heero: *walks outside and stand behind him* …you're completely off-target.

Wu Fei: What are you talking about? I haven't missed yet.

Heero: *arches and eyebrow* How do you figure?

Wu Fei: *shrugs* You shoot and then you call what you hit the target.

Heero: *level stare* That's the kind of idiot philosophy that gets you only a 1350 on the SATs…

Wu Fei: Two hundred for putting your name on the paper, baby… *takes aim at Heero's car*

Heero: o.o Don't…even… think it.

~*~*~*~

Duet: *accidentally hits Duo in the face*

Duo: AH! My eyes! I need those for seeing!

~*~*~*~

Duet: *watching EWTN, the religious network* Oh my gosh! The Our Lady of Fatima cartoon! I remember when Sister Agnes showed us this movie!

Trowa: Is that…one of the Rugrats voice actors?

Duet: >__O Fuck, you're right…

Trowa: *stands up* Well, looks like I better go add that to the Reasons Why Judaism Is Better Than Catholicism list…

Duo: *yells from the kitchen* At least we're not too cheap to HAVE a TV station of our own!

~*~*~*~

The Pilots: *completely entranced by the Final Fantasy: Unlimited ending credits*

Kim: *looks at the pilots, then at the TV, then at the pilots, then at Tori*

Tori: …Chocobos. That right there is visual crack for them.

~*~*~*~

Duo: *on the computer*

Pocky (the cat): *stretches up and claws the back of the chair*

Duo: *ignores him*

Pocky: *jumps up on the back of the chair and head butts the back of Duo's head*

Duo: Son…

Pocky: *jumps into Duo's lap and starts trying to climb onto the desk, stepping all over the keyboard*

Kate: *on-line* Why don't you just feed him?

Duo: Um…no.

~*~*~*~

Trowa: *sitting on the couch watching TV*

Quatre: *walks up, hands stuffed in his pockets* So… Jess's gone, huh?

Trowa: Yeah… Evan too, I see.

Quatre: Yeah… *sits down*

Awkward silence…

Quatre: *leans on Trowa and closes his eyes* Miss her?

Trowa: No. Miss him?

Quatre: …I think so.

Trowa: You could have just lied.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Kegawa: We don't get enough representation anymore.

Awa: Yeah, and you cut off our salaries.

Tori: Salaries? O.o Since when was I paying you?

Kegawa: Toldja that wouldn't work, Awa.

Awa: >_O Damnit.