Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ RNDM True Stories ❯ It's Not RNDM If You Want It ( Chapter 32 )

Tori: *distancing herself from Kim*

Kim: Aw, c'mon, Tori! Just let it go!

Tori: *points at Kim and looks out at the readers* This girl…hocked the BIGGEST, most DISGUSTING wad of spit EVER.

Kim: *rolls her eyes* We're all friends here…

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Duo: HEY TROWA! GUESS WHAT!?

Trowa: …what, Duo?

Duo: *dancing around, singing* You're o~ld! You're o~ld! You're real~ly, real~ly o~ld! HAHAHA! Old old old old OLD!

Trowa: Huh? *looks his watch* ///_< Damnit…I'm twenty.

~*~*~*~

Duet: *picks up a chocolate chip cookie, stares hard at it, then puts it down* … OH MY GOD! I put the cookie down! I… HAVE THE WILL POWER OF THE GODS!

Wu Fei: *reaches over and takes the cookie*

Duet: *grabs his wrist, menacingly* Son, you best unhand that cookie before we have a little altercation.

Wu Fei: o.o *drops the cookie*

~*~*~*~

Narrator: Lucky for me, he was a pedophile.

Trowa: And I thought I was lucky!

Heero: You don't get any luckier than that!

~*~*~*~

Duet: Pussy Wagon…? Oh my God! Uma Thurman's the one that outbid me on eBay!

~*~*~*~

Quatre: Lookit all the yakuza! *laughs*

Wu Fei: Yeah, it's Tori's old Tokyo gang!

Duo: Tori's the insane killer prostitute.

Tori: …you two…can go fuck yourselves… ¬__¬

Heero: How come all of them have all ten fingers?

~*~*~*~

All sans Kim: *at the end of Kill Bill while everyone's leaving the theater* I shall walk the Earth like Caine in Kung Fu!

Kim: *holds her forehead* Oh, you God damn fucking otaku… Does anyone speak your language?

Random Guy: j0!

Kim: *jumps* AHH! o.o

~*~*~*~

Heero: I've got plenty of tricks up my sleeve. *grinning, reaches up his sleeve and pulls out a bag of Trix cereal*

Quatre: …and our lives have reached a new low…

~*~*~*~

Duet: *holding up oriental-style blouse in Marshal's* Correct me if I'm wrong, but shouldn't the line go from the neck diagonal under the right arm?

Saleslady: What's the big deal?

Duo: *hands in his pockets, nods towards the shirt* That's how they dress dead people.

Saleslady: o.o *takes the shirts off the rack*

Duet: Hey! I wanted to buy that!

~*~*~*~

Duet: You know, without Evan and Jess around, it really looks like you and Trowa are a couple, Q.

Quatre: Trowa and I a couple? *pauses thoughtfully, then shakes his head* Why do I sound so surprised…?

Duet: *grasps his shoulder and gestures to include the imaginary fangirls around them* Harken to their resounding chant of "We knew it!" …

~*~*~*~

Wu Fei: *at Six Flags with everyone, stops in his tracks and stares*

Duo: *bumps into him, stops, and follows his line of sight*

Rachel: *stopped in her tracks, staring at them*

Trowa: Hey, Rach! *waves*

Rachel: O.o I didn't know they let you specials out of the house without a chaperone.

Heero: Actually, I'm dating the chaperone… *points to Tori*

Tori: Hey, squirt.

~*~*~*~

Duo: *joking* Do your parents know you're here with a bunch of seniors or do I hafta call them?

Rachel: No, my mom trusts me. She knows I'm not sleeping with them or anything. *grins*

Trowa: Wooo! *makes slicing motion with his arm* Cut the tension! Cut the tension!

~*~*~*~

Wu Fei, Kim, Tori, and Heero: *just hanging there face-down at the end of the Superman ride*

Kim: *tries to spit, but kinda drools*

Tori & Heero: O.o Ewwww…

Wu Fei: Hey…I kiss that.

~*~*~*~

Duo: *walks up to one of the guys selling cotton candy* How much for one of those bad boys?

Heero: *holds face in hands* Oh my God… Why are we in public with him?

~*~*~*~

Wu Fei: *walks up to one of the chainsaw Fright Fest people and smacks him on the ass* Go get 'em, tiger!

Chainsaw Guy: O.o

~*~*~*~

Wu Fei, Kim, Duo & Duet: *sitting in the car in the McDonald's parking lot waiting for the other car to meet them*

Wu Fei: There they are. *gets out of the car*

Duet: *follows Wu Fei, leaving Kim and Duo in the car*

Both: *look back and see the windows immediately fog up, exchange looks*

~*~*~*~

Duo: *busts the basement door open and walks into the living room, Duet's Beretta in one hand and his Colt in the other* I have come here to kick ass and chew bubblegum… And I'm all out of bubblegum.

Everyone: *ignoring him, watching TV*

Trowa: *whips a pack of Orbitz at him and it hits him in the chest*

Duo: -___- Awww… I was all ready to kick ass, too. *puts the guns in his pockets, picks up the gum, and walks away*

~*~*~*~

Duet: *driving back to the house with Trowa, passes two flooded bridges, then stops at the third where she runs into Quatre and gets out of the car*

Quatre: Um… My car's not getting over that… *looks at "Road Closed" sign and the foot-deep puddle it's in*

Duo: *pulls up in the minivan with Heero* Hey… look who it is! *gets out*

Duet: Looks like we'll hafta ford it! *gets back in her car with Trowa and drives over to the other end of bridge*

Duo: *answers his cell phone* Hey, Duet. … *laughs* She says it's about four feet deep, two hundred feet across and moving on the other end.

Heero: Tell her to go for it!

Duo: She says she'll go if your swim across it first.

Heero: Sweet! *strips down to his boxers, runs through the puddle and over the bridge carrying his stuff* WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

*awkward silence*

Duet, Trowa & Heero: *half a mile away at the other end of the bridge* WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Duo: *answers his cell phone again, then turns to face Quatre* …they're going across…

Quatre: You know, we could just take the highway like Wu Fei… … …but it's more fun this way.

~*~*~*~

Trowa: Woah. *stops and stares at a motorcycle parked outside a restaurant* That…is a hot motorcycle.

Heero: Yeah, it's nice.

Trowa: I love it.

Heero: Mmm hmmm… Fascinating.

Trowa: Heero, I don't think you understand. If I was a girl motorcycle, I would so have that motorcycles babies.

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Tori: *looking at the top Duet bought from Marshal's* You bought dead people clothes.

Duet: ^__^ Morbid, ain't it?

Tori: You know…When they flip manga, kimonos and similar tops appear with the right lapel over the left in the front, which is only seen on corpses dressed for cremation. Which is why you should by your manga from TokyoPop, where they publish manga the RIGHT-To-Left way! *V for victory*

Duet: *turns away, scratching her nose* Maybe when they hire some decent translators… *WHAP!* SONOFABITCH, TORI!

Tori: *shakes out hand and grins*