Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ RNDM True Stories ❯ Throw Your Life Away For RNDM ( Chapter 33 )

Trowa: So you're not going back to Japan?

Tori: *crosses arms and turns up nose* No, we are not.

Trowa: …are you going to be referring to yourself in the plural first person now?

Tori: Yes, we are. ^__^

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Duet: *hands her psychology professor a pile of five-inch rectangular pieces of Kero Kero Keroppi stationary, written on and stapled together in the corner*

Prof T: What the hell is this?

Duet: *just stands there*

Prof T: *stares straight at Duet, narrows eyes* I can tell we're going to have a lot of fun together.

~*~*~*~

Trowa: *at night, crouched down in the passenger seat of Quatre's car* Group of freshmen… ten o'clock.

Wu Fei: *in the driver seat, also crouched down* Roger. *drives slowly up behind the chattering group of people with all his lights off*

Trowa: GO! *turns on the stereo at it's highest level*

Wu Fei: *turns on all that car's lights and neons and revs the engine*

Freshmen: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! *scatter*

Wu Fei: Hehehe… Ghost car.

~*~*~*~

Quatre: We were freshmen only a year ago, guys… I don't think it's right to pick on them.

Heero: But we're sophomores now! It's tradition, just like in high school! And besides, we're really mad because freshman year is still new in our memories. *makes fist*

Quatre: And what happened freshman year that was so horrible?

Heero: Don't you remember all the trapping people in rooms and tying people to trees between classes and stealing shoes and stuff?

Quatre: Heero, we did that to each other. There were no upperclassmen involved.

Heero: Oh… *pauses* Right, so about harassing the freshmen.

~*~*~*~

Duet: For psychology. I have to violate a social norm and see how people react.

Heero: And aside from existing, how do you propose to do that?

Duet: *strips down to her panties and folds her arms over her bare chest* Grab that camera and follow me, boy. *opens the door and steps out into the hallway*

Heero: *following* This is soooo legal.

~*~*~*~

Doorman: I'm sorry, miss. I can't let you out of the building like that. That's public indecency.

Duet: Shut yer mouth! *looks back* Heero, are you getting this?

~*~*~*~

Duet: *riding in the elevator with Heero*

Wu Fei: *gets on with a couple of his friends* o.o I do NOT know you. *turns around and stares straight ahead*

Duet: *starts rubbing her leg against Wu Fei's* Hey there, stranger…

Wu Fei's Friend: Chang, you definitely live in the best building.

~*~*~*~

Duo: Rumor has it you and my woman were running around naked.

Heero: Just her. I only videotaped.

Duo: And what was our rule about making pornos with Duet?

Heero: *sighs* Always make you a copy…

~*~*~*~

Prof. T: And what norm did you violate?

Duet: Clothing. *holds up the video tape* I walked around in my underwear.

Prof T: What!? I meant something like singing in public or using the wrong bathroom!

Duet: What!?

Ian: *grabs the tape* Yoink!

~*~*~*~

Quatre: *at night, driving behind Duet's SUV with Trowa and Wu Fei in the car* … *flashes his high beams at Duet*

Duet: *comes to an intersection, puts her right blinker on, fakes Quatre out, and turns left*

Quatre: Grrr… *turns off all the car lights*

Duet: *loses sight of the Camero* AHH! Where'd they go?

Wu Fei: Muahahaha… Return of the Ghost Car.

Duo: Really… Safest game ever.

~*~*~*~

Trowa: You know how in the manga translation, Nittle Grasper is referred to as "NRG"?

Duo: Yeah. What of it?

Trowa: *holds up Horrorscope, the Eve6 cd* I did some searching because that sounded so familiar. Turns out NRG is a recording service in North Hollywood, California. They helped record this CD. *opens the jewel case* And what's more… *flips out the insert*

Duo: Anime drawings.

Both: *narrow eyes at each other, lost in thought*

Quatre: *looks back and forth between them* And there's absolutely NO chance of this being a coincidence?

Trowa: Of course not.

~*~*~*~

Duet: *sitting on the bed, going through a folder of hand-written documents Duo has to type up for work* Are you supposed to be able to read this?

Duo: *cleans his reading glasses and puts them back on, then takes some papers from her and looks at them* I'm sure the real estate agent who wrote 'em expects me to be able to.

Duet: Do you ever tell these people to maybe… you know… use the twenty-six letters of the English alphabet?

Duo: …these are real estate agents, Duet. There's no talking to them.

~*~*~*~

Kim: *walks into the apartment* AH! What the hell are you guys doing!?

Trowa: *pouring some paint into a tray, looks up* What does it look like we're doing?

Quatre: We're playing Fab Five! ^___^ *emptying a Pier One bag onto the coffee table*

Heero: *putting painters tape around the window on the wall behind Trowa*…I'm the cute one.

~*~*~*~

Trowa: *reading The Anime Encyclopedia* Melancholy Slave. Bereft at her mother's death, Rachel goes into a convent, only to discover that the contemplative life is not quite as she imagined when she is bound, gagged, and sexually assaulted by lust-crazed lesbian nuns.

Duo: WHAT HAPPENED TO RACHEL!?

Trowa: Attacked by lust-crazed lesbian nuns. *turns page and keeps reading*

Duo: *stands in the doorway and looks at Trowa, deep in thought*

Trowa: Melancholy Slave, Duo. It's an anime.

Duo: *pauses* We gotta buy that one. *walks off*

~*~*~*~

Wu Fei: *drops his lollipop and it gets stuck on his khakis* This lollipop don't play games.

~*~*~*~

Duet: Hey, Trowa! I ran into Jess today.

Trowa: …did you fight her?

Duet: No… Why would I fight her?

Trowa: …traitor.

Duet: O.o Don't ask me why, but she wants you to call her.

~*~*~*~

Heero: I'll take you under my wing. My wings are small, but there's room. … Ha! I don't have wings. Heh heh… I have arms. Oooh, you've been X-ed.

~*~*~*~

Duo: *walks into career counseling class, sits down near the front, and looks around half-full room* o.o I don't know anyone…

Girl: *sits next to him* Hi! I'm Catherine.

Duo: Duo. Nice to meet you. *shakes her hand*

Catherine: *looks at his wedding band* Damnit.

Duo: o.o I'm…sorry.

~*~*~*~

Trowa: *walks in, sits down on the couch and holds his face in his hands*

Quatre: What's wrong?

Trowa: I got another girlfriend. Fuck damnit, why won't they leave me alone!?

Quatre: You're pissed off because you have a girlfriend? Trowa, somewhere along the line you said 'yes' to something.

~*~*~*~

Duo: Ah, Trowa gets so pissed off when he gets dragged into relationships like this. He usually just keeps the girls around for the sex, then ditches 'em when he gets bored.

Trowa, Amy (the new girlfriend), Heero, Tori, and Duet: *stare in awkward silence*

Duo: o.o

Heero: Yeah, so Duo… When are you getting that filter installed between your brain and your mouth?

Duo: Wednesday.

~*~*~*~

Kim: Wu Fei! *hugs him* I haven't seen you in three days! How are your classes?

Wu Fei: I…was afraid you weren't speaking to me after the car ride down here.

Kim: No, I'm not speaking to Duo and Trowa. YOU kept your car door shut on the I-95.

~*~*~*~

Heero: Mike! How the hell've you been!? *handshake-hugs Mike*

Mike: Great! Great! You? What'cha been up to?

Heero: Japan… Wedding… Nazis…

Mike: And who's this nice-lookin' girl? *smiles at Tori*

Heero: That's my girlfriend, Tori. I've told you about her.

Mike: *kisses the back of Tori's hand* A pleasure…to finally meet the woman whose name alone can get this guy-

Heero: MIKE! SHUT UP! *grabs Tori's hand away from Mike* And don't touch!

Tori: ^___^ Nice meeting you too, Mike.

Heero: Just call him Token… ¬__¬

Mike: *turns to Tori* See, normally here, I'd retort with an equally racist comment, but as you two are, or so I shall assume, of the same race…

Tori: Oh no! By all means! He's a Pearl Harbor-bombing, rice-eating little fag!

Mike: *laughs* I like her.

Heero: I don't like you two together.

~*~*~*~

Duet: *in psychology* My family's really diverse! My husband and I are the mafia, Tori and Heero are the yakuza, Wu Fei and Kim are ninjas, Quatre's from al Quaeda and Trowa's part of the JCC.

Prof. T: o.O *shakes her head* First of all…are you comparing the Jewish Community Center to organized crime syndicates and terrorist groups?

Duet: Did I say JCC? I meant he's a Republican.

Prof. T: Oh. Alright.

Trowa: ///.o Republican!?

~*~*~*~

Trowa: Republican… That's not very nice…

Duet: Take it like a man.

Trowa: That's it. Twelve rounds of PD. Let's go.

Duet: Bitch, you do NOT want me to throw your ass down in a political debate right here in front of all our classmates, now do you?

Trowa: *narrows eyes* Bring it, bitch.

Duet: Pick your poison…

Trowa: W. Bush versus Clinton. I side Clinton.

Duet: *sneers* Doesn't matter. I'll whip you either way.

Wu Fei: Ooo… They're debating politics. This always ends well.

~*~*~*~

Wu Fei: Where'd you put the TI calculator?

Heero: *reading, nods his head* Right thurr.

Wu Fei: *walks over to it* Right herre?

Heero: *flipping through his textbook, not really paying attention* Fo shizzle, my chizzle.

~*~*~*~

Amy: *sitting next to Duet on the bed, watching Duo and Trowa get dressed* I can't decide… Is it really sexy or just plain weird?

Duet: What?

Amy: No underarm hair… no leg hair… no chest hair… no back hair… no butt hair… no chin hair… It's great, but is it normal?

Duet: Anou… *rolls up a leg of her jeans to show Amy* Laser hair removal.

Amy: *points down* Here, too?

Duet: You're just going to have to find out for yourself, now won't you? *laughs*

~*~*~*~

Everyone: *watching the video Duo made while he was on acid*

Duo (in the movie): *focused on a table lamp for close to ten minutes* AHAHAHAHAHAHA! … AHHH! *climbs to his feet and scrambles across the living room floor*

Trowa (in the movie): *walks over, takes the camera from Duo and focuses it on him* Duo?

Duo: Mmmmmmmmmmyezzzzzz?*arches eyebrow and smirks seductively*

Trowa: What did you do?

Duo: PohKAHY! *starts laughing*

Trowa: DUO! WHAT DID YOU DO!?

Duo: What didn'tI do? Hahahahahaha! *makes an X with his arms* Xssssssssssssssssss-ed.

Duo: *holds his face in his hands* What the hell was I saying!?

Wu Fei: Something about never, ever doing drugs.

~*~*~*~

Duet: *in the darkroom with Trowa, Heero, and some friends* I wonder what would happen if I licked the silver off this… *holds up an undeveloped roll of black and white film roll with the tab of film sticking out*

Trowa: *shrugs* I dunno. Try it and then we'll develop it and see.

Duet: … Okay. *pulls out all the film and starts chewing on it* Ick… Salty.

Heero: *hands her a cup* Here.

Duet: Thanks. *drinks it* ACK! What was that!?

Heero: D-76.

Duet: Are you nuts!? That's gonna condense the silver! … … …Gimme some Fixer, Hypo, and Photo-Flo.. If we're gonna develop me, we're gonna do it proper.

~*~*~*~

Kim: …what the hell are you three doing?

Trowa: Duet's taste-testing the chemicals.

Duet: May I recommend the Fixer? If that's not your favorite, than the Dektol is more subtle. The Stop Bath is downright awful, though.

Kim: *in complete shock* Why…are you not dead yet!? *grabs Duet by the shoulders* What is wrong with you!? THOSE ARE CHEMICALS! DEADLY, DEADLY CHEMICALS NOT MEANT FOR HUMAN CONSUMPTION!

Duet: I fail to see your point… o.o

~*~*~*~

Duet: *driving along in silence with Tori in the passenger seat and Heero and Duo in the back*

Heero: *whispers* Pooper.

Duo & Heero: *burst out laughing*

Tori: You two really do have the most mature conversations.

~*~*~*~

Duet: *still driving*

Heero: *porn thwacks an unsuspecting Duo*

Duo: *look of complete and utter shock* … … … *tries to thwack Heero back, but is blocked*

Both: *start slapping at each other childishly*

Duet: *eye twitching* Boys, don't MAKE me turn this car around.

Both: *fold their hands in their laps and sit bolt upright, feigning innocence

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Tori: Adrian!

Heero: Makoto!

Tori: Azrael!

Heero: Haruko!

Tori: Tobias!

Heero: Misato!

Tori: …why can't it just have two?

Heero: You picked devil and death names…

Tori: Well, I want it to play nicely with the Maxwell children.