Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ So This is Love ❯ Chapter Three: A Reason for Tomorrow ( Chapter 3 )

Deciding on the right poem to capture and inspire this chapter was difficult, because there are so many amazing poems that would do so wonderfully. All the same, I'm happy with my decision. This chapter's poem from "The Essential Rumi", by Coleman Barks.

To my reviewers. Thank you for the support, as much as I ALWAYS appreciate it, I almost crave it for this story because I really debated uploading it at all. I just wasn't satisfied with it and I'm not sure that I ever will be, so the encouragement means a lot.

War Dove, in regards to angst, there always seems to be at least a little in my stories, and I don't think this one will be terribly different. Although, I do believe I'm condensing almost all of the major angst into chapter five, or thereabouts, so take that as you will. Uh, anyway, I AM going for a happy ending, if that makes you feel any better about it. I like happy endings, you know sweet, fluffy ones that are libel to cause cavities.

Also, there WILL be a lemon in this fic, for anyone who was wondering, and it also WILL be my first real attempt at writing one, so forgive me if it isn't very good, but I AM going to try my hardest and it will likely be in or around the last chapter. At this point I'm anticipating about 6-7 chapters total. . . and oh look, I'm babbling again, whoops.

I still don't own them, and on with the story.

~~~

"So this is Love"

by: Banshee Puppet

Chapter Three: A Reason For Tomorrow

~~~

The way of love is not

a subtle argument.

The door there

is devastation.

Birds make great sky-circles

of their freedom.

How do they learn it?

They fall, and falling,

they're given wings.

~~~~

He was trying to be strong. The work on Heavyarms was finished, and he knew he'd be called for another mission very soon, any day now. He could feel it in his bones. He took strength and solace from Rumi's poems, and tried to figure out, just how it was he was supposed to behave around Relena, now that everything was out in the open. What was it, exactly, that she would expect from him?

Trowa was content, really, to just be near her, to hold her, drown in the scent of her, but he would be lying if he said he didn't harbor other, less proper thoughts about the elegant blonde.

"Always reading Rumi, my Trowa," Relena said sweetly as she came up behind him and wrapped her arms around his neck.

He looked up at her, the corners of his lips pulling slightly upwards. "He calms me," he stated matter-of-factly.

"And I don't?" she pouted.

"No. You have quite the opposite effect, Relena," he teased.

She giggled. "I think," she said mischeviously as she pulled the book out of his hands and slid around to the front of him, plopping herself into his lap, "that you're blatant way of being honest only makes you more attractive.

His eyes widened slightly, at finding the girl in his lap, not that he was complaining, but the close proximity, and the way he was looking at her, it made his head swim, and there were. . . other things that seemed to be rather pleased with the arrangement too. He struggled to keep his breathing steady.

"You're a relentless tease, you know, Relena," he told her, burying his face in the nook of her neck and embracing her. It was all play, he knew. After all, they hadn't even kissed yet. `And why haven't you kissed?' he asked himself. `Because you're a coward,' he answered. `And because if you take that leap, it'll just be that much harder to be away from her.'

It wasn't being with her that hurt. It was knowing that it couldn't be forever, that it couldn't be all the time, not just yet. But he knew that he loved her, because thinking about her made him think about the future, about what came after, after the fighting, after the war, after everything he'd spent his life thinking about. He had never thought about after before now. He didn't think about it because he knew, there was a chance that he wouldn't make it that far, a chance that the end of the war would find him dead. Now, for the first time, he realized, he didn't want that. He wanted to live. For Relena, he wanted to live, and he wanted to build a life with her someday. A house, maybe even, a family. A real, genuine family, something he had never had. And it wouldn't, couldn't, didn't matter to her at all, that Trowa Barton wasn't his real name. He'd told her and she really didn't care. `It doesn't matter what you're name is,' she'd told him. `You are who you are. As long as you're with me, I don't care about anything else.' And that's exactly how he felt as well. He'd decided, even if he did have to deal with being away with her for long stretches of time, he felt much better about knowing that he had her to go back to, then he felt about loving her and not being able to have her. He had realized in these past few days that Relena didn't care if he wansn't perfect, she wanted to be with him anyway, and he wasn't about to deny her what he wanted himself, someone to come home to. And even if it all went to hell, at least for a little while, they had it, a reason for tomorrow.

`Not helping,' he realized suddenly as his body dragged his mind away from his thoughts. Burying his face in Relena's soft, sweet-scented hair was DEFINITELY not helping his current state of mind at all.

"Who's teasing?" she asked innocently.

`Okay, that's not helping either,' he thought, looking up at her with slightly dilated pupils. "You're not helping," he said a little more huskily than he meant to.

`Ooo. Toooo sexy,' Relena swallowed, biting her bottom lip at the look he was giving her. Fact is, she HAD been teasing, but what did a girl have to do, to get a kiss around here? Not that she would have been very much opposed, if things went a little. . . farther than intended, but. . . her logical mind reminded her that, technically, it WAS a little soon for that, even if she had dreamt about it more than a dozen times. Her heart was pounding in her ears as she rested her forehead against his.

"Yeah," she whispered. "I can see that." She adjusted herself to a more comfortable position and felt something jab her hip. Knowing EXACTLY what it was, she snickered. "I can feel it too," she whispered.

Trowa blushed furiously. She had to remind him about THAT. As it was, he was feeling rather, constrained, in the jeans he was currently wearing. He swallowed hard. He didn't know what he was supposed to do. He wanted so badly to kiss her, to touch her, but would that be. . .was that okay? "What exactly is it, that you want, Relena? I just don't know. . ." he fumbled over the sentence. He didn't know how he was supposed to behave. He'd never been in love before.

"A kiss, silly," she said. "Maybe two." `He's so cautious around me. Doesn't know what to do, how to react. It's as if he's only just learning how to feel, how to be a human. It's a different feeling than the one I got from Heero. With Heero at least I knew, there WERE emotions under there, somewhere, all covered up. But this one, he's only just learning how to feel and doesn't know what to do about it. All the same, I love him, I really love Trowa more than anything.'

"Just a kiss?" he asked tentatively.

She leaned back slightly and nodded.

"Alright." Trowa let out a slight breath. He'd never actually done this before, but, how hard could it be? "Just a kiss," he whispered, assuring himself before leaning in, feeling her breath on his lips, letting his eyes drift closed as they seemed to want to do, hearing the phone ring.

"Gah!" Relena blurted in frustration. `So close, yet so far!' she pouted. "I'd better get that," she scowled. "Don't you dare go anywhere."

Simultaneously annoyed and relieved, Trowa leaned back slightly, stretching his legs out in front of him.

~~~~

"Hello? Heero?" she asked, blinking at the screen.

"I broke a wing," he grumbled at her.

She did the mental translation. "So, in other words, hi Relena, I busted up Wing Zero, again, and need a place to crash for a few days while I fix it. Is it okay if I stop by and use your house as an over-sized training ground for a few days? Right Heero?" she asked a little less patiently than was her habit. She couldn't help it, he'd called at the WORST possible moment.

"Hn," he nodded. She really DID know him too well. He smirked to himself, noticing her appearance. A mint-colored baby tank and jeans, her hair in a messy bun, strands falling out around her neck, cheeks slightly flushed. He assumed he'd caught her in the middle of cleaning or something. If only the aristocracy could see her now. `Relena.'

"Fine," she sighed. "When will you be here?"

"Three minutes," he answered.

`Three minutes?' it was all she could do to keep from pouting at him. Three minutes wasn't enough time to go open up the hangar, let alone pick up where she left off with Trowa. "Alright, we'll see you then," she said. "I'm hanging up now."

"Hn," he answered, shutting down the screen.

`We?' he wondered suddenly. `She must mean her and Pargan. Didn't realize he was with her.' Heero gave an internal shrug, the thought of running into one of his comrades the farthest thing from his mind.

~~~

Trowa looked up at Relena's pouting face as she returned to the living room. "Important call?" he asked.

"Heero is coming over."

". . .oh."

"He'll be here any minute. I have to go open the hanger," she whined.

For a second, just a second, he was jealous, but the way she complained about it, he couldn't help it, he laughed. For some reason, he found no end to how funny it all was.

"Sure," she scowled. "You laugh. Then explain to him about that tent in the front of your pants," she taunted, his expression dropping quickly as she grumbled and stomped grudgingly out of the room.

Trowa looked down and decided that, no, he DEFINITELY did NOT want to explain this one to Heero Yuy. `I think I'll just. . . go take a shower,' he decided. `A very very cold shower.'

~~~

alright, that's chapter three. The next chapter will probably be full of stolen moments and Heero glaring. But I haven't written it yet, so don't quote me. Anything is possible. R&R.