Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ Some Way Back ❯ Distractions Relieved ( Chapter 13 )

Ok here it is WARNING this is a lemon...contains an explicit sexual scene between two consenting male adults. If you do not like this sort of thing then well…you shouldn't have even read the story this far…but hell…if you don't like it…don't read it…what an epiphany ne?

Anyway for those of you who have been following the story this is the first Duo and Zechs lemon…yes 2x6

#*# = scene change

~ words in direct thought to oneself

~~**~~ end of chapter

^^ italics if the computer is liking me^^ Song words

Some Way Back: Distractions Relieved

Anyone seeing the long chestnut haired man walk down the halls would only have been able to tell that it was Duo Maxwell because of that almost knee length braid. The changed that had overcome the man in the last eight months were drastic. His frame, while still fit, had become alarmingly thin, due to his excessive need to take out his aggressions in the shape of physical exertion and the fact that he had not been eating properly.

His once cherub like heart-shaped face had become rather drawn and eyes that had seen him through one too many nightmares were too large for his face, giving him almost a bruised appearance.

Duo walked back into his office. He thought it was rather funny how he thought of the systems room as his office, since his office was actually the room that had shared with Heero. It had been left untouched for the eight months that had passed since the "incident" - or as Duo liked to refer to it… since Heero fucked up. Of course that line of thought made Duo's mood seem even darker than it already was and he slammed the door behind him once he had fully entered the room, making the other the other four in the room turn startled faces towards him. He eyed the punching bag now hanging in the corner that he had had brought to his room for days when he didn't have the time to go and take things out on the gym equipment, before beginning his tirade.

"This is fucking ridiculous - how many fucking subsidiaries does this organization have? They have their claws into everything…this must have taken an enormous amount of effort and time. Shit - we have taken out Introspection, Einigkeit, Unity, Freedom, Freiheit, Windthorpe, Inflection and Equilibrium; we have destroyed them and I mean annihilated them completely and utterly…and yet we still have Treizon, Guntoit, Maynard, Genosis, Dietram and Challenger to go." He dropped himself onto a chair, his legs straddled to either side so he could lean forward with his hands dropped in the middle. Fiddling with the end of his braid he also played with his rings, frowning at them while he did so. He was cracking and he knew it. His medication was taking the edge off his mood swings, he knew that, but somehow it just didn't seem to be enough anymore. The void wasn't the safe haven it had always been; he needed to strengthen it. Heero had always told him that distractions needed to be alleviated; he just wished he knew how.

Quatre interrupted Duo's mused ramblings by scooting his chair to sit next to the violet-eyed youth. He leant over and poked Duo, who momentarily forgot to be pissed off, just long enough to let out a startled laugh.

"Much better." Quatre scooted out of Duo's reach again before the other boy could react. "Anyway, you don't need to tell us about it Duo - it's amazingly screwed up. We've been chasing this for seven months - it's a bigger operation than any of us first realized."

"Yeah." Duo felt the bitterness hit him once more. "It should have been taken care of way before it got this bad."

Wufei was looking at his friend, taking a really good look. He let out a slightly pensive sigh, because he knew that no one else was going to venture to say anything to Duo, so as per usual it was going to be up to Wufei. The onyx eyed man thought for a little while at first, taking in Duo's worn appearance and then decided that he would try his own unique brand of tact.

"Duo!" Wufei's voice was clipped and Duo's head snapped up from where he was absently watching his fingers rotating his rings.

Violet eyes narrowed. "What."

"You are not taking care of yourself." Wufei could see that Duo was about to get into stubborn mode and he held up a hand to forestall it. He hadn't known the guy for four years for nothing. "Hear me out Duo…"

Reluctantly Duo acquiesced and crossed his arms so that he could stop from fidgeting and glare at Wufei effectively.

Wufei took a deep breath before starting in on what he knew was something that the braided one wasn't going to take well. "Look at yourself Duo. Your eyes have sunken…your beautiful shiny eyes Duo!"

"Never knew you could be such a poet `fei." Duo's voice was laced with sarcasm, disdain and a distinct warning.

But Wufei was not about to back down…something had to be said and if he was going to have to be the one to say it, then so be it. "You said you would hear me out. Do not dishonor yourself by going back on your word now."

Duo was surprised enough that he actually did shut up.

Satisfied that he now had his silence, Wufei continued. "Your eyes Duo. They held your spark for life. Your body is wasting away because you aren't eating as much as your metabolism demands and I would be willing to bet you don't weigh anything over 52kg at the most right now. If you don't start taking care of yourself, I will do it for you!"

Not having the best grip on himself at that moment Duo jumped up glaring at Wufei, his fists clenched at his sides. "Try it Wufei…just fucking try it!" His eyes flashed. "I am death. Anyone stupid enough to get close to me has died. If you think my eyes shone with life then you are sadly mistaken. I revel in death; it is that thing about me that sets me apart from everyone including all of you. There is nothing about me anymore that can find joy in life, the one thing that gave me a little hope was a big mistake on my behalf." He breathed a deep breath, trying to calm himself a little. "And my body? That is my own fucking business. I am going to go to the gym. When I get back I want my room clear."

Quatre tried to protest. "But Duo…the mission…"

Duo didn't let him get any further than that. "Fuck the mission Cat…" The door slammed yet again.

Silence hit the room as the braided man left.

"That went well." Trowa spoke with rarely used sarcasm.

"'Fei, why did you go and do that?" Quatre was upset.

But Wufei wasn't the one who answered that question. "Someone needs to do something…it just wasn't the best way to go about it…" Zechs brushed his hands through his platinum locks. "He is too angry at the moment to do anything else but react. He needs to see that he needs help before he will actually accept it. We can't just try to shove it down his throat."

Quatre looked at the platinum blonde with an increase of respect. "You know him less than any of us and yet … I do believe you just gave the most succinct point of view."

Zechs shrugged uncomfortably; he wasn't about to admit that he had promised he would keep an eye out for Duo…let alone that he found the man distractingly attractive. "Maybe I am just a little further removed from the situation, and therefore am able to look at it in a more subjective light. Duo has mood swings, Duo has inner demons he seems to need to deal with…we can't just help him if he won't accept help. We need to make him realize that he needs help without it seeming to be us that makes him realize. I think that made sense." The nods from the others encouraged him. "Once he comes to the realization that he does in fact need help then he will be more likely to accept it from us…he knows we are offering it…or I should say you…he probably wont accept it from me."

Quatre shook his head. "No actually Zechs. I think you are wrong there…I didn't realize how bad it had gotten because I didn't want to see. We have been close to him for so long I think he might feel he can't ask us for help…that maybe we would think less of him because he has never really needed our help before. Duo has always been the one to cheer us up, to make us feel better or to help us see things in a different light."

"It is a mask he has perfected well…sometimes it even stills fools me." Wufei spoke softly and sighed. "I may act like he annoys me a lot, but the truth is…you get used to him…and the way he is right now…what he is doing to himself…it can't go on."

Trowa looked at all three of them. "Well…we need to come up with something…sleep on it?"

"Yeah…" Quatre didn't look too impressed by the situation but knew there wasn't really anything else he could do about it. "If we aren't gone from the room by the time he gets back, I think he is going to get worse. Its getting late anyway…we should go…"

The four of them exited the room, each lost in his own thoughts about how to get Duo back to his old self; each wondering if it was at all possible anymore.

#*#

Duo was pissed off; really pissed off, even though deep down he knew that his friends were right. He could feel his body wasting…he could feel himself getting thinner and it was driving him insane. Fine he wasn't eating as much as he usually did, but he definitely wasn't eating that much less. The only thing he could attribute it to, was that he was stressing a little. What they were doing was so much more comprehensive than any of them had ever thought, it was daunting, and he felt like it was never going to end. It was one of the most frustrating experiences of his life. Add to that the lack of sleep he was getting due to the recurring nightmare he had first had those seven months ago, and Duo knew he wasn't in his best form.

He paused outside the gym; there were too many people inside. He sighed as he turned around and walked away. Yet again his anger just seemed to seep away, disappear as suddenly as it had come upon him. He was stressing too much…it didn't help his mood swings when he did that, but he also couldn't seem to help it. Before he knew it he had wondered out into what the preventers called their courtyard. Really it was just a few gardens that they could gather around and eat, or chat…or well just kind of relax in the middle of the day. There was a really nice little Japanese garden there that he had liked. Truth be told Duo had liked it too, and honestly still did…just he hadn't been there once since the fuck up. That late in the day, no one else was in the gardens. Crouching down on the small bridge that brooked over a pond he tried to get those thoughts out of his head. He had been able to push things away for so long…but it didn't seem to be cooperating any more.

^^You're in my mind all of the time
I know that's not enough
if the sky can crack
there must be some way back
for love and only love ^^

"Get out! Get out! GET OUT!" He clutched his head falling to his knees on the bridge. He had avoided thinking about him in any way other than professional and clinical for so many months that it hurt to remember how much his heart had broken. It hurt to feel the gaping wound that he felt inside, as if a part of him was missing and always would be. He wanted that part of him back damn it…he wanted to feel whole again. But Duo knew that wasn't going to happen…it was never going to happen…people don't just come back from the dead…he had to accept that and not dwell on it. Up until then he had been able to push it to the back of his mind…but it wasn't working any more…it was forcing itself out and he hated it. He didn't need the distraction right then…he didn't need the distraction ever…never wanted it again.

Pushing himself to a standing position he held himself upright using the bridge as support for his otherwise shaky legs. Every morning he woke and pushed that feeling aside…that feeling that he was walking around as half a person…the feeling that nothing was right and he would be better off dead. The only thing that was keeping him going was this mission…he needed to finish it…he needed closure. Every day his body ached for the one he had lost…every day he allowed himself one single wish that Heero would come and just take him where he stood…before banishing the thought and letting his hatred take back over. And he grasped onto that feeling of hate because he needed to, otherwise he didn't think he would make it through the days. Steadying himself once again he walked back to his office, noticing that it had grown dark while he had been outside.

#*#

The punching bag in his office groaned under the flurry of punches Duo was throwing into it. He had no idea how long he had been punishing the inanimate object for, but he had worked up that much of a sweat that he had stripped down to his boxers and there was still sweat running down his body. He ran a hand through his now messily loose hair; he didn't believe in boxing with gloves…if he got caught in the street by some punk there was no way the guy would wait for him to put on gloves before swinging a punch, so what was the point.

Bouncing on his toes, he was about to start laying back into the punching bag when the sound of the door caught his attention. He turned and his sunken eyes fell on Zechs Marquise.

"What do you want Marquise?"

Zechs looked at the frail seeming man before him. He knew he was anything but frail. His hair fell in a partially undone braid down his back and his body glistened with sweat, so much that Zechs had to force himself to concentrate on why he had come in the first place.

"To help you…let someone help you Duo…"

Duo barked a harsh, bitter laugh. "Help me? Where was this attitude when you all decided to play god with my fucking life?" Violet eyes flashed, the old happy Duo seemed to have disappeared again suddenly.

Zechs paled under the gaze that was directed to him. "I…I just hate seeing you like this… it's… it's…"

"What Zechs… it's pathetic? Painful? Yeah you're right, but none of it affects you as long as I do my job." Duo almost spat out the words he was speaking, his voice full of disdain. "Eight months Zechs… and only half of my work is done. Do you have any idea how many times I have wanted to get caught? How many times I thought, even fleetingly or half seriously, that I would want to remain behind with a bomb that was set to go off? How many times I have wished that Quatre didn't find me in time? How fucking often that I wish I had never met Heero fucking Yuy?" His voice had risen till he was practically screaming, breaths coming in short, painful gasps as his chest constricted. Suddenly the adrenaline left his body. The stress of the past months, the emotional tidal wave that Duo had been suppressing behind walls for so long came crashing down on him. His knees buckled and he found himself fallen to the floor, tears of pain and anger streaming down his face.

Zechs rushed over to the fallen man, worry and concern showing on his face as he knelt to look in Duo's eyes. "Duo...are you…?"

Duo sat back on his knees and just nodded, wiping the sweat and tears from his face. His body was shaking and he knew that he's pushed himself too far this time.

Zechs was flustered; his heart felt like it was going to run away…it was fluttering. Being that close to Duo; to a half naked, sweating Duo was making Zechs's imagination run away with him. He was so caught up in his own thoughts that he almost didn't hear Duo…almost.

"You really want to help me Zechs?" The tone of Duo's voice had lowered to a husky whisper. His body was no longer going to let him shut his walls down. It wasn't going to let him ignore the feelings and needs he had suppressed for so long.

Zechs blinked, the sound of Duo's voice making things stir inside him. "Yes…I really want to help."

"And just what would you help with?" Duo's voice was almost a carress.

"Anything Duo…anything that you need help with…" Zechs almost held his breath.

Duo looked into ice blue eyes, his breathing a little heavier than before. He couldn't ignore his body anymore, besides if he was completely honest with himself, Zechs was quite attractive. At least he wouldn't have to put a paper bag over his head. His voice felt husky and thick when he spoke.

"Then let me fuck you."

For a moment feelings warred inside Zechs, finally the lust he felt for the man in front of him won over and he nodded his ascent.

That nod was all the permission Duo needed as he launched himself forwards, pushing hands through platinum waves as he claimed the slightly parted lips in a forceful bruising kiss.

The weight behind the kiss pushed Zechs onto his back; Duo following, pressing and molding his body against that of the taller man. It was as if something had been holding him back and now that the floodgates were open there was nothing that Duo could do…or even wanted to do about it. He forced his tongue inside of Zechs's welcoming mouth warring with that of the ice-eyed man. His fingers combed through the sea of hair pushing the older mans mouth against his own, and feeling the body beneath him react. It made Duo burn inside. Not with desire, but with a need; the need not for the man beneath him, but for the act in and of itself. The power he held made him heady - made him hard.

Zechs recovered from his initial surprise to find his mouth being plundered and he fought back with his tongue, reveling in the feeling of the boy on top of him. The feel of those curves, that he had been admiring for so long, contacting his own made him react. He reacted hard, hands clutching at Duo's naked torso as the younger man deepened the kiss. Clear thinking was far from one of Zech's abilities as Duo's hands finally released the hold on his head and traveled down to start undoing his shirt. Zechs moaned into Duo's mouth, running his hands around to the younger mans hack and then running his fingers up and down the sensitive flesh there. His hands brushed something soft and silken and he wrapped his hand around Duo's messy braid.

Duo froze. So fast, it was almost surreal, he grabbed Zechs's hand, pinching it in the right spot so that the other man dropped the hold he had on Duo's braid, letting it go with a small cry of pain. Holding the ice-blue eues with his own violets, Duo spoke…slowly, clearly and scathingly. "My. Hair. Is. Off. Limits. No one touches my hair."

Zechs flinched at the look in Duo's eyes, but he understood what Duo was saying. Any contact they were going to have was to be sexual in nature…nothing personal or emotional. For Duo, his braid was emotional and personal and therefore out of bounds.

Whatever is was the Duo saw in those ice-blue orbs was enough for him and he lowered his head, once more claiming those lips in another bruising kiss. Duo's need was great…he hadn't had sex for so long his body was burning for it and since he hadn't been of the mind to tend to it himself it was almost literally screaming for it.

Giving up on the rest of the buttons Duo simply ripped the shirt open, laying open the smooth expanse of Zech's chest bare for his own exploration. As the cool air hit his skin, the blonde shivered a little, which turned into a shudder of pleasure, when Duo clamped a mouth over one of the older man's nipple, sucking and biting it.

Zechs felt like he was on fire…at first empty when the other mouth had left his own, the contrast of the cool air and the hot mouth enveloping his nipple was enough to make him shudder. He let out another moan as Duo swapped sides, biting harder this time.

Getting impatient Duo decided to leave the nipples to be worked over by his hands so that his mouth could be free to go elsewhere. Letting his fingers pinch and play with the nipples his mouth had sensitized elicited a series of small moans and gasps from the man beneath him. Duo allowed himself a smile as he worked his mouth down towards the waistband of Zechs's pants, biting, nipping, sucking, licking and kissing at the skin on his way down.

Feeling the trail of Duo's mouth working its way downwards towards where Zechs was painfully hard, made the blonde man groan in anticipation and pleasure. He had to push away the wave of disappointment that hit him as Duo's fingers ceased their ministrations and lowered themselves to the task of undoing the pants that he had on. Zechs moaned as the material brushed over his hard erection on the way off his body. As he felt warm breathe touch his throbbing cock his hands convulsed at his sides and his back arched as a moan of pure longing passed his lips.

Again Duo grinned. He wasn't that far gone in his raw need that he wasn't going to give the body he would use to gratify himself some sort of pleasure. Opening his mouth wide he suddenly engulfed Zechs's length with it, deep throating the man first off.

If Zechs's back had arched before, that time he almost shot to sit upstraight. The sensations running through his cock as that soft suction applied itself had almost driven him over the edge. "Ahhh…Duo…" He breathed the words…as he tried to catch his breath as Duo started to flick a skilled tongue over his head as his mouth worked its way up and down Zechs's shaft slowly.

Duo divulged the prize in his mouth of any pre-cum that leaked out…slowly working the shaft up and down with his lips and mouth. He could feel the other man's short breaths and wondered briefly if maybe Zechs needed this as much as Duo. He moved his mouth a little faster, listening to the groans of the man beneath him…hearing him mutter Duo's name over and over again. It didn't affect Duo…nothing really affected him, except for the aching in his loins telling him to hurry it up. Using his hand to apply a little pressure to the base of Zech's cock Duo began to deep throat the man with every thrust, flicking the tip of his tongue out to circle the head and play with the slit at every opportunity.

Zechs writhed beneath the ministrations and could feel that fire within him about to burst forth. He tried to hold on but knew he couldn't and so he breathed out a warning to the man who held him in his mouth. "Duo… I… can't hold it… gonna…cum…"

Duo could feel the shaft tensing…and sucked a little harder. A scream tore from the throat of the man beneath him as the ecstasy overtook him and pumped out of his body. Duo only swallowed and sucked enough to make sure that Zechs achieved full orgasm. He had other plans for the rest of it.

Zechs felt the second half of his orgasm empty itself onto his stomach. As he lay there panting and trying to recover he suddenly felt a lubricated finger push past his opening. He tensed a little and relaxed as soon as Duo found and hit his pleasure spot. Gods that boy was talented…how the hell had he found it that fast. But Zechs didn't particularly care…he just hoped that he had recovered enough from the sensations running through his body to be able to enjoy what would come next. Not having anywhere to run his hands, as Duo's hair was really quite everywhere, he clenched them once again at his sides as he moaned when a second finger joined the first inside him.

Duo grinned again, having removed his boxers, his need was aching now…patience had never been one of the chestnut haired boys strengths. He was surprised he had found Zechs's prostate so fast, but actually rather glad that he had…that meant that the man had loosened up much faster and it was going to be relatively easy to prepare him. A good thing too, because Duo didn't think he could hold it in for too much longer.

Adding a third finger to the mix, cause Zechs to cry out, but it definitely wasn't in pain. Scissoring his fingers to make sure that Zechs would be able to accommodate Duo's length he finally withdrew his fingers and lathered his own throbbing cock in what was left of the cum on Zechs body. Raising Zechs hips, he positioned himself at the entrance his fingers had just left, looking down to see Zechs supporting himself with his arms at his sides to take the pressure off his lower back his head lolled to one side, lust filled eyes fixed onto Duo's form.

"Stay still Zechs… I'll make it as painless as possible." He received a nod in response, as that was all Zechs was capable of at that point in time.

Duo pushed forward…not too fast but not as slow as he knew he should have. Still, pain only briefly crossed Zech's face to be closely followed by a look of pleasure as the man above him entered him fully, buried to the hilt.

Duo gasped…fighting with himself for control as his member got used to the tight velvet heat around it. Regaining his control and waiting for Zechs to grow accustomed to him, Duo took a few deep breaths before starting his rhythm. Pulling himself out he then pushed himself back in faster, hitting Zech's prostate and making the man beneath him groan again.

Reaching down Zechs grabbed hold of his own, now hard again, cock and started pumping it in time to Duo's thrusts in and out of him. It felt amazing… he felt so filled…but he needed more. "Harder…Duo…please…fast…slam it!"

Duo needed no further encouragement. He began to pump himself in and out of Zechs…literally hard…so hard the distinct slap of flesh on flesh resounded every time he buried himself fully in the man beneath him. He could feel himself nearing the edge and his thrusts grew more frantic, and he bit his lip to stop himself from crying out. The man beneath him was writhing and moaning…there was no stopping the cries escaping him as he brought himself to climax a second time, pumping warm seed over himself once again.

The clenching of the muscles inside the blonde haired man was enough to send Duo over the edge…with a final, almost violent, thrust he came…and he was only vaguely aware of calling Heero's name softly as he did. His body shuddered as he released…and it seemed that the release would last forever. He collapsed forward over Zechs, who simply locked his arms around the younger mans body, holding him as the afterwaves shook his thin body.

Zechs had heard the name that fell from Duo's lips…and although he hadn't really expected any different, it still hurt a little. But it didn't stop him from wishing that he could take Duo's pain away…so he just held him while he needed it…because he knew that Duo would not let himself break down like he was doing then too often. Zechs suppressed a sigh when Duo recovered enough to pull out of him and roll away.

Coming to his feet Duo looked down at Zechs and sighed. He turned around and walked into the bathroom. Zechs sat up and looked towards the door, where he could hear the distinct sound of running water. A moment later the chestnut haired man appeared back at the door.

"I don't know about you…but sticky sleep isn't possibly for me. Showers running if you want to rinse off."

"Okay…" Zechs stood. He had no idea how he should act. He wanted to walk up to Duo and kiss him, hold him, tell him over and over again how sorry he was that he had been a party to causing Duo so much pain. Instead he walked into the bathroom.

Duo's defenses were lowered…at least for the time being. He felt more relaxed than he had in ages. Turning in the shower he motioned to Zechs.

"Come on it's big enough…and I don't bite…at least not hard." He winked…he felt at ease.

Zechs entered the shower…walking a little gingerly, and he turned to see a frown on Duo's face.

"Did I hurt you?" Duo hadn't wanted to hurt him…he had just needed…

"No…I just…haven't well…in a while…" Zechs blushed and Duo laughed.

"Oh good…I would hate to hurt a friend."

Zechs smiled and gave himself a rinse off. Duo had already climbed back out of the shower and was drying his hair in front of the mirror…towel wrapped round his waist. His face was more relaxed that Zechs had seen it in months. He turned to see Zechs looking at him, already dried off, with a towel wrapped around his own waist.

Duo smiled a small…actually genuine smile. "You're welcome to stay here tonight…it's late…and the bed is huge…so there is room enough for two. We have to be up too early for you to make the long trip home and come back for 7am."

Zechs smiled again. "Sure…that'd be good."

Duo nodded, throwing a pair of boxers at Zechs before walking out of the bathroom and pulling on fresh boxer shorts himself. He climbed onto the left side of the bed. Zechs followed him after a few minutes and climbed in on the other side. Duo looked at him, a thoughtful look on his face. "Thank you for helping me Zechs." He turned on his side, back to the platinum haired man…and fell asleep.

Zechs lay awake for a while, thinking, before sleep claimed him.

#*#

Duo woke early…memories of the night before hitting him as soon as he was aware of being awake. He frowned at himself, he felt better, much better…not as if everything was running out of control. Hormones could be a bitch. Getting out of bed he set the coffee to brew and turned as the figure who had been asleep next to him stirred. He looked at the man, realizing that there were some things that needed to be said. Apart from friendship and a little gratitude, he really felt nothing for the man. But then again…to be perfectly honest…he no longer felt anything for anyone…alive at any rate.

Once the coffee was ready he filled two mugs and walked over to Zechs, sitting himself on the edge of the bed, he handed the other man one of the mugs. Zechs was watching him warily, so Duo looked away before he began to speak in a detached emotionless voice.

"Reduced performance capability is unacceptable. In order to function at full potential, relief of distracting factors such as sexual frustration and anxiety needs to be achieved." He looked at Zechs's slightly confused face and continued before he decided to leave it. "Heero's first romantic words to me hold so much truth. Don't picture this as more than it is Zechs - a fuck to relieve the tension and allow me to regain my focus. No one is ever going to be allowed to get as close to me as that traitorous fuck did…not ever again." Duo stood… as the anger threatened to engulf him again and started heading towards the bathroom…where he stopped and turned to face Zechs once more. "He was the love of my life and now I hate him more than you could possibly imagine."

Closing the bathroom door behind him Duo slid down to kneel on the floor. Staring at the rings on his fingers he whispered to the room. "He promised he wouldn't leave me on my own." For the first time in months…Duo let the tears fall down his face again.

~~**~~

To be continued

I so hope you all liked it… I get really worried when I write lemons…so tell me if you enjoyed it please.

On with the story… not too sure how fast I can get the next chapters pumped out…but I will try my best.

~Arith