Wow it's actually an almost timely next chapter!!! YAY. The ideas I am having are developing and kind of running around and I am trying to catch them and write them down but they keep doing backflips and going their own way.

This fic is housed at Mediaminer and at www.goldenyaoihuggle.com so if you see it somewhere else, it doesn't have permission to be there.

Again if you have not read Someway Back, this will probably make no sense at all, but I hope you enjoy it anyway.

Disclaimer : Don't own em yada yada, wish I did, because then the series would have been more yaoi orientated. Don't sue, I don't own anything except two chinchillas and three rats and they'll probably bite you hehe

#*# = scene change

~ words in direct thought to oneself

~#~ Flashback

~~**~~ end of chapter

Somewhere I belong: Earn Your Keep

There are a few select phrases in the history of mankind that instil fear and worry into the hearts of every man, woman or child who hears them. Among these "We need to talk," has to be one of the most feared.

And so it was that Heero came to be standing stock still, looking at Wufei with trepidation written all over his usually inexpressive face.

Something snapped a little inside Wufei and he sighed. "Come on Yuy, it isn't that bad. Sit down with me." And he made his way to the couch. Wufei plopped himself down on the couch trying to figure out how he could say what he needed to say without throwing Heero off balance more than he already very obviously was.

The former Wing pilot sat himself gingerly on the arm of the couch, not completely rested and definitely not at ease. He wouldn't raise his eyes to look at Wufei and instead twisted his fingers, intently focused on his hands. There was no other reason he could think of than that Wufei had come to tell him to stay away from Duo. He could feel his heart aching in his chest, like it was about to tear itself out of the cavity intended for it. Seeing Duo had gone so much better than he'd expected, but maybe he'd just been kidding himself. Taking a deep breath he managed to raise his eyes enough to look at Wufei.

"So, what do we need to talk about?"

Wufei saw the uncertainty and felt himself mellow a little. It'd been over three months. Heero had been back for three months, having to live each day knowing that the man he loved, hated him. That had to be hell. Trying to imagine what it would be like if Trowa or Quatre hated him, made him shudder, that was something he never ever wanted to contemplate.

"He isn't ready to see you Heero."

No, Heero hadn't exactly been expecting that, it even gave him a little hope. "Not ready?"

"It's too soon, Heero, he has had a lot to deal with and is still dealing with it."

In an almost strangled voice, it was almost as if he was speaking to himself. "But it's been over three months."

"And do you think, Heero? That three months is enough time to deal with the shock of finding out someone you love is alive, whom you thought to be dead for one and a half years?" Wufei's voice was soft, gentle and in no way incriminating. He was speaking in a way that he hoped his friend could handle. "You honestly think that three months is enough time to put aside the hell you were put through when you thought you lost the most important person in the world to you, only to discover it had all been a trick?"

Shock registered on Heero's face as he realise just what Wufei was saying. "I… honestly didn't think, I…" He looked at his hands again, trying to formulate just what he wanted to say in his mind. Expressing his feelings had never been his strong point. Although he had gotten better when he was with Duo, it was still difficult to talk about the feelings inside him, even with the other three. Duo had been the only person he could ever open up to properly and he missed him more than anything. "He was like… like my air Wufei… it's like a part of me is gone and it… it hurts like a wound. Not like the gaping ones we got in the war, but it's pain, inside, and I don't know how to deal with it. I don't know if I can deal with it, if I don't have him. He was all that got me through those 18 months. And now… now… I don't know how to go on…"

As Wufei took in what was probably the longest monologue that he had ever heard Heero speak in his presence, he had to stop himself from gaping. "You know Heero. For someone who usually has trouble stringing a sentence together, that was almost poetic."

Heero only managed a very weak smile, or upturning of lips, which is really the only excuse that Heero has for a smile. Eyes still riveted on his hands he spoke hesitantly. "So, Wufei, what do I do now?" They were using first names, which was something they'd very rarely done, and it spoke of how serious the situation was.

Leaning back, Wufei sighed. "I'm not sure Heero. I just know that Duo wasn't ready to see you, he wasn't ready to talk to you, and he wasn't ready to deal with having you be near him."

Alarm bells went off in Heero's head, and he raised his eyes, all traces of self pity gone. "What did he do Wufei?"

The black haired man flinched a little before another sigh escaped his lips. He wasn't quite sure how he could, or even if he should tell Heero what Duo had done, or what Duo had been doing. Wasn't that something that should be left between the two of them if and when Duo wanted to tell Heero about it. But Heero's next words took care of that decision for him.

"He, did it again didn't he … He… hurt himself."

Keeping the surprise from fully registering on his face, Wufei looked into Prussian blue eyes. "How did you know that?"

"He…," Heero looked a little uncomfortable. "He, used to do it sometimes, during the war, after the war. But he had almost stopped… I thought he was better. If I'd have known he would revert back I would never have agreed to the mission."

There was a pause, a section of complete silence.

"How badly?"

"I don't know that much about it, only what Quatre had vaguely let slip Heero. It's him who knows how Duo deals with things the best. But the result this morning, wasn't, well, it wasn't as bad as it could have been. Duo has been getting help, and he managed to shake himself out of it."

A sad expression passed briefly over Heero's face as he spoke. "He hates me." It wasn't seen as a question, but was pure statement.

Not able to stand seeing his friend in pain, because Wufei was sure, right then, that Heero had never meant to hurt them all the way he had, he just hadn't thought and had completed the mission; his training had kicked in, he offered his friend an olive branch.

"Heero, he loves you, he always has. You're a part of his life… you just hurt him very very badly. He has every right to be angry and hurt and to put some of the passion he had for you into hating you just a little bit. Besides, as far as I can see he wants to find himself first… and if how you're reacting is any indication, I would say that you are in the same boat my friend."

All Heero did was nod. It wasn't much, but maybe if he worked on grounding himself without Duo, maybe Duo would take him back. Maybe if he was no longer so dependant on Duo for his emotional capabilities, maybe it would be easier for Duo to take him back into his life. "You really think so Wufei?"

"Yes, Heero, I really think so." Wufei stood to leave, not really knowing what else he could say.

"Did you mean it Wufei?"

Confused onyx eyes turned to look at the Japanese man. "Mean what Heero?"

"The… friends part?"

A soft smile crossed Wufei's lips as he realised just how badly Heero had probably been suffering. "Yes Heero, I meant it… I will always mean it. Up to sparring tomorrow afternoon?"

A genuine smile lit up Heero's face momentarily. "Yes, I think I'll be up to that."

Nodding curtly Wufei left the apartment with a slight smile on his face.

#*#

It was dark when Wufei pulled up outside the house. Closing the door behind him he reached the money to the cab driver and tipped him generously. With a sigh he headed up the front steps and was just about to fish for his keys when the door swung open.

Trowa's hand reached out and snagged a hand full of Wufei's shirt, dragging him into the house. A surprised yelp was all that escaped the Chinese man's throat before lips locked over his own in a tender display of affection.

Breaking away, Wufei realised with something akin to embarrassment that he had almost melted in his tall lovers arms, and that his legs felt weak. Trowa hadn't kissed him quite like that in a very, very long time.

"You look tired" was all the green eyed man said before stepping away from the door and walking into the lounge room.

"I am," Wufei shook himself and walked brusquely into the room behind Trowa. "It was actually almost draining talking to the new and improved emotionally vulnerable Heero Yuy. I mean…" His stream of words tapered off as his eyes scanned the room. "Where is Quatre?"

One of those rare and brief smiled flitted across Trowa's bang overshadowed face. "He decided to stay and make sure Duo was ok…"

"Oh…" Wufei's gaze never wavered from Trowa as the taller man closed the distance between them. "Um, do you not think that perhaps, he is spending too much time worrying about Duo?"

Taking his time, Trowa was crossing the room with slow, languid steps, his movement almost liquid. "Maybe not, 'Fei… Duo needs a friend right now and Quatre and him are almost like brothers."

A frown crossed Wufei's face as thoughts flitted through his mind. "I know … but sometimes I'm just not sure…"

Closing the final distance between them, Trowa lifted his Chinese lovers chin with the tip of his finger, forcing the other to look into his eye and pulling him close with the other arm. "You… think too much Chang Wufei." And he closed the distance between them, as his mouth plundered the shorter man's.

Wufei closed his eyes and leant into the kiss, the feeling of being savoured made him shudder; in a good way.

Slightly breathless the taller man broke away from the other. Leaning his forehead against Wufei's he spoke softly. "Quatre means the world to me, 'Fei, and I love you both so much, but sometimes its nice when I can just have you to myself…" And he closed his mouth over his lover's once more, tasting him and delving as deeply as he could.

A slight feeling of confusion spread through Wufei, and he broke away a little from Trowa. "You… like it just being the two of us?"

Trowa laughed that gorgeous laugh that was so rare, making it even more special. "I didn't say that Wufei…let me finish my thought… sometimes its nice when I can just have you to myself… either of you…"

"Oh." And Wufei let out a gasp as Trowa started kissing down his neckline, slowly unbuttoning the shirt as he began trailing kisses down the smaller man's chest.

A smile crossed Trowa's lips as he heard the moans starting in his lover's chest. "Yes… lets me concentrate more on one of you… give you more attention…" And then they didn't speak any more… because Trowa was giving Wufei almost more attention than he could handle.

#*#

Tossing the remote control in exasperation, Quatre glared half heartedly at where it lay, a laugh forming in his throat as he realised he had picked up the channel flipping habit from Duo. Too busy chuckling, he was almost startled when a voice spoke from behind him.

"Laughing by yourself Cat? Careful, next thing you know you'll be talking to yourself and they lock people away for that."

Turning around, Quatre's eyes fell on a very dishevelled looking Duo. "Duo, you shouldn't be up! You're sick…"

"No Cat, I'm not sick." Sighing, Duo folded himself onto the lounge. "No… I'm not sick Cat, I'm stupid."

"You're not stupid Duo… you're just not too well."

"No Cat… you're wrong… I know not to do what I did… I know better, I have other ways to deal. I can punch a punching bag or I can play music… but somehow I just couldn't do any differently. It's like there is a part of me that needs the pain." His voice wandered off, uncertainty colouring the fading tones.

"But you stopped yourself Duo, you did, it wasn't even nearly as bad this time. You managed to tear yourself away from it. You are getting better… you really are."

"Who are you trying to convince little brother… you or me?"

Shocked, Quatre just look at the long haired man beside him. "You Duo, I don't need convincing to make me want my best friend around."

A small smile crossed Duo's lips as he turned to look at the blonde. On impulse and maybe a little because he felt the need to be close to someone who meant something to him, he stretched across the sofa and laid his head on Quatre's chest. "Thank you little brother, maybe I can actually finish this… maybe I can actually get better…"

Stroking his best friends hair and trying to project a soothing feeling, Quatre smiled a little. "I think you can finish what you started… I know you can… just let us help you."

"Sure thing, bro… sure thing…" And Duo let sleep claim him… heart a little lighter than before.

#*#

James waited nervously outside the door; waiting for his turn to go in and see the man. Well, he had never really seen him. The room was always quite dark and you couldn't see the man in the room very well. It never really worried James, although the first time about six months ago when he had gone to be introduced to the man it had been a little strange. Now it just seemed like it was what he had to do to get more of those lollies that he liked so much, and being so young he never really stopped to wonder why it was that he liked them as much as he did. It was just a fact and he didn't think to question things that grown ups said he needed; that wasn't his place.

A thud and a muffled cry came from the room, making him shudder involuntarily. Warily his eyes wandered to the door in time to see a large bundle being dragged out of it. Quickly he turned his eyes away and studied his hands intently.

Barely minuted passed before a man stepped out of the room and beckoned to him.

"Mr Davies will see you now, James."

Feeling almost as if he was going in to see his school principle, James got up quietly from the seat and dutifully trudged into the other room.

As the door closed behind him and he was enveloped by the semi-darkness James had to take a deep deep breath.

"James I hear you lost something?"

Gulping down the lump that seemed to be stuck in his throat, James nodded once, before realising that it was probably too dark to see him nod and so he spoke quietly, his voice a little shaky. "I … I did sir…sorry… "

The man tsked. "That's just not satisfactory James. You will need to do something for me to make it up to me…"

Nervously James wrung his hands together. "Yes sir." His voice was barely above a whisper.

"Since you finished your deliveries very efficiently, you will not be punished… yet…" The man chuckled a cruel little chuckle. "I need you to take this package…" A package was pushed into the boys hands… "and I need you to take it to the address on the envelope. You will be awaited there and will be required to do whatever is needed of you. If you perform this task well, you may even be rewarded."

All that James clung to was the 'be rewarded' part. That had to mean lollies. The cold sweat that was breaking out on his body meant that it had to be lollies. "I won't fail sir." And with eagerness to please in his eyes the boy left the room.

Sitting alone in the dark the man mumbled to himself, a cruel smile crossing his indistinguishable features. "I know you won't fail… you'll be a lot of use."

#*#

The night Coroner looked at the latest young body to cross her table. Sighing, she looked at her preliminary examination… still contemplating the delivery of it. It had been well hidden, and was simply luck that they had found it. There hadn't been as many bodies for her to examine that night and so she had been able to work fast with the relatively fresh body, just giving it a basic examination as the body had not been long dead; just a few hours, maybe five. The police had worked quickly, marking the spot it was found, but there was little doubt that the boy had not been killed at the place he was found.

Frowning she reached for another set of notes, comparing her sketchy preliminary findings with those listed in the notes. Walking over to the vid phone she dialled the number and was still frowning at the comparisons when the answering screen flickered open to reveal a dishevelled looking woman.

"Ahhh Doctor Po. Sorry to disturb you at this hour, but it seems that list of symptoms may be evident in a body that I have recently received in the morgue."

Body suddenly alert, Sally looked over the Vid Link, as if she could look through the doctor and see what the doctor had seen. "Lady Une and I will be there within the next hour."

#*#

And hour later found both Sally and Une looking over the body with the night coroner.

They sighed, almost in unison and Une shook her head, her eyes bleak.

"How long Une?" Sally's voice held weariness.

"Hard to say, perhaps eight or nine months usage… that's the stage the body seems at."

Sally nodded, cataloguing the symptoms. "Flaky, dry skin, especially around the eyes and joints; joints swollen in arthritic semblance making movement painful; Internal organs yet to be seen, but will probably have aged prematurely; bloody contusions sporadically placed on the body, indicative of the final stages of addiction. The smashed in skull however has nothing to do with the effects. That one caused the death all by itself."

Une sighed, closing her eyes momentarily.

"This is it, isn't it Une?" Sally's voice was soft.

"Yes… it is." Une pinched the bridge of her nose with her fingers trying to stave off the headache she could feel coming on. "I need to do some research. I need to figure out just how to combat this. And you know what the worst thing is?"

"What?"

"I think I'm going to have to eat humble pie once I figure out what I need to. We're going to need them for this. Whoever is doing this is old school."

#*#

It had taken James hours to get to where he was meant to go, it was late, after midnight, he just thought that it was a good thing that he did these jobs for the leader of the orphanage that he lived at, or else he would be in trouble for being home way after curfew.

Raising a cold hand he wrapped his knuckles on the door, standing back expectantly as it opened.

Cold eyes washed over him, before he was roughly hauled into the dark and smokey interior of the building he had been sent to. The package was wrenched from his fingers and he was turned around in front of the man who had dragged him inside.

Pursing his lips, the man studied the boy. A little scrawny, but overall he would definitely do. A tight smile crossed his face as he tilted the boys chin up to meet his eyes. "Name?"

Not quite knowing what it was that was expected from him James managed to stammer out an answer: "J…James… sir…"

A nod of the head was the acknowledgment the boy got, before being grabbed and led down to a room, where he was directed to get inside and change his clothes.

After the few minutes that it took James to change, he opened the door looking down at his body pensively. He couldn't understand why he was wearing a pair of small denim cut off hot pants and a tight singlet top.

The man who had led him to the room nodded at him in approval and spoke. "You'll do… I am Tom. You will report here ever day after 6pm and will either sleep in your room if you must work late, or you will be taken home if you do not. It would be best if you bring your school things with you when you come here so that you will not miss school and arouse concern if you are to miss a day." Giving James another look over he nodded once more. "Follow me."

Dutifully James followed the man down the hall, before he was led into a room full of men… he thought they might be playing cards, but wasn't very sure. As his eyes scanned the room, his gaze fell on the table… lollies… he spied the sweets his body seemed to crave, and all else seemed to lose any importance whatsoever. He would do anything at all to get them, he needed them, wanted them… craved them.

Tom was looking at him. "This is your room James… this is where you will work. If you do well, you will be rewarded… if not…" The large man shrugged.

James just nodded eagerly, his eyes fixated on the bags on the table. Tom knew he could leave the boy, and the boy would do what was required of him… whether he liked it or not.

As the door closed behind Tom, leaving James alone with the men in the room, the boy realised that he was being looked at by the other occupants. Raising his eyes he realised that those gazes were almost predatory, hungry.

A dark haired man raised a hand and beckoned to him. James found himself backing up towards the door but another man's hand grasped onto his own with lightning speed. "No you don't, you're here to serve us, boy."

Eyes flickered between the door and the sweets on the table; the boy was torn. One of the men noticed this and smiled rather cruelly. "If you serve us well, boy, you can have some of those."

It worked. James inched closer, licking his lips. "What's your name boy…"

Swallowing the lump in his throat James shot a look at the speaker. "J…James."

"Then come here little Jim and lets see if you earn your keep."

And as James was forced to his knees, his nightmare began.

~~**~~

Well there we go! Another chapter… like WOW. Sorry if my terms and my morguey stuff isn't spot on… I kinda just gathered the few things I knew and elaborated on them, so its probably way way off.

Liked it?

~Arith