Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ The D.C. Saga ❯ 1+2, Part Eleven ( Chapter 11 )

1+2, Part Eleven

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"You want to go where?" Quatre asked, as he cut up his pancakes.

"I want to go to church. Is there one around here?"

The blonde blinked in confusion. "Uh, yeah. I think there's a Catholic church somewhere in the town. Are you Catholic?"

"Not really. I'm not even religious, but I want to go to church."

"You can come with me!" the boy brightened.

"What are you, Quat?"

"Muslim."

"Ah...I'll pass. Maybe another time, though."

"Okay! Want more bacon?"

"Nah, I'm good." Duo blinked. "Hey...If you're Muslim, you can't eat bacon, can you?"

"No, I didn't eat any. The chef made it. She said it would be nice if we cleaned up our own dishes, though. I gave her the day off...she looked too tired."

"Oh, okay then." Duo complied and picked up his empty plate and rinsed it out before putting it in the dishwasher. "Where are the others?"

"Last I saw, Trowa and WuFei were online ordering books. I don't know where Heero is, he never came down for breakfast."

Duo nodded and thanked him before walking up the gigantic, twisting staircase in the Winner mansion. He found Heero in their room, still asleep, surprisingly. Duo'd never seen him sleep past seven o'clock and it was already nine-thirty.

He stood at the doorway, utterly silent, and watched his fellow pilot breathe deeply, eyes fluttering as he dreamed. Heero slept in a pair of flannel pants and his white socks. He and Duo had bought one pair of pajama pants, and Duo had taken the shirt to wear with his boxers while Heero stole the bottoms. It had been a little disconcerting at first to see Heero so often without his shirt, but eventually Duo had gotten used to it and now it barely phased him. Barely.

He backed out of the room quietly, figuring that Heero really needed the sleep or else he'd have been up at the crack of dawn, doing something productive. He went into the bathroom and fixed himself up a little better, deciding that the black pants and t-shirt were okay for church. He brushed his teeth and tightened his braid, adding a white ribbon for a bit of contrast to his dark clothing.

He went downstairs and asked Quatre for a set of keys to borrow, and the blonde gave him the keys to the small red sportscar he knew Duo would like.

It was a forty-five minute drive to town, and when he got there he had just enough time to park and walk in before mass started. He hadn't been in so long, not since the fateful day of the Maxwell Church incident, but everything was familiar to him. He sat down and sang the hymns without having to look, he said the prayers by memory, and he listened to the sermon.

After it was over, he fully intended on going back home, his ghosts having quieted for the moment being, but then he saw two priests into the confessional booths and a short line waiting to go to them. Duo hesitated, biting his lip. I may not believe in any god but the God of Death, but Father Maxwell preached about this God until his death. I owe him this, at the very least...

Unconsciously straightening his shirt, Duo stood in the line and was inside the booth in no time. Let's see if I remember how to do this... "Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned."

"Go on, my son," a disembodied voice said gently.

"Um...where to start?" Duo joked, and the man laughed lightly.

"Tell me your sins. Don't be afraid, dear boy."

"Well, there's the obvious swearing one," Duo said thoughtfully. "I swear all the time. How bad is that, on a scale of one to ten? One being...I don't know, thinking bad thoughts towards another person and ten being...blasphemy?"

This time, the priest gave a real laugh. "You're a strange one, my boy. Hmm. Perhaps five Hail Marys will do."

"Ah. Okay, then. And, of course, there's having bad thoughts about another person. That's a one, right? Or maybe a two? These were real bad thoughts, I don't like these people." Damn right I don't like them, I've been killing them, haven't I?

The old priest sounded amused. "It's a two. Ten Hail Marys."

"Cool. Hmm. What next? Well, I haven't been to confession since I was, what? Eight? How bad's that?"

"Nothing is 'bad' if you can rectify it," he said softly. "You can rectify these sins. How do you think you should be punish? How would you like to beseech yourself to the Almighty Lord?"

There is no 'Almighty Lord', buddy. There's life, then there's death. "Um...Maybe eight Hail Marys for each year I haven't gone?"

"Is that sufficient?"

"I dunno. What do you think? You're the priest."

Another amused chuckle. "Yes, I am. If you feel that eight will do, then eight will do."

Duo took a deep breath. Now for the big one. "Father, I've begun to have...Well. See, I have this best friend, and he's a really great guy--kind of quiet, kind of serious, but we balance each other out well. I care for him a lot.

"And lately...I don't know. I think I've begun to have...not necessarily "impure" thoughts towards him, but certainly no thoughts a mother would want her son to have about another male. And I know that homosexuality is evil, but I don't think I like him like *that*...I really don't know what it is, Father. Can you help me?"

"You're on the right track, homosexuality is evil and it is one of the greatest sins. How can you purge these thoughts from your mind?"

Duo scrubbed his temples, frustrated. "I'm not sure, Father. There are...circumstances..." He paused, suddenly daring and bold. "If I tell you, Father, something very secretive and very important...will you tell?"

"No, my son. Confidentiality between priest and the confessor."

"Father, do you support the colonies?"

Duo detected a smile in his voice. "Yes, I do. I am from L4 myself."

"I fight for the colonies," the boy said vaguely. "And so does this boy that's my friend. And he and I have nightmares quite often. Bad ones."

The man made a sympathetic noise, but let Duo continue.

"And we learned about...oh, gosh, maybe four months back that if we sleep while touching, we don't have the nightmares as often. Maybe it's the touch that helps to ground us, I don't know, or maybe it's just because we're such good friends that we know the other will watch our back...But it helps, a lot. Is this evil, Father?"

"I don't know what to tell you, my boy. This is the romantic interest?"

Duo blushed brightly. "I don't know. That's what I'm trying to figure out."

"If there is no romance involved, then no, it is not evil. But with the thoughts that you said you've been having, then I would stop this behavior at once. Best to remove yourself from the situation before it progresses." His voice softened. "I can't tell you how it hurts me to hear one so young as yourself involved in a war for adults. May you have God's blessing, young one."

Duo had to leave then, his throat closing up and tears threatening to spill out of his eyes. He muttered a quick thanks and tore out of there, sliding into the sportscar and speeding away.

He stopped in town at a diner and ordered a sundae, which gave him some time to think about the situation with his sexuality. He'd had slightly impure thoughts involving Heero, his best friend and another boy. That was wrong. Okay, simple enough. But how would he tell Heero that he couldn't share a bed with him anymore? The touch was the only thing that kept them from waking up screaming every single time they closed their eyes...

How to do it so that Heero wouldn't be hurt? Duo shrugged and slurped down the rest of his sundae, saving the cherry for last. He'd just have to be honest and straightforward, without revealing his hidden feelings. I don't have feelings for him, he reprimanded himself. I really don't. And even if I do (which I don't), I'll just have to stop them. Too bad I can't meet any girls, maybe that would cure it...

He paid and left, driving the near-hour back to the estate. When he got there, it was nearly one in the afternoon, and the others were just finishing up lunch.

"We saved you some, Duo," Quatre said kindly, and the American nodded, thanking him and heating up his plate. He was still deep in thought when he felt a touch along his waist. It was Heero, and he looked completely exhausted, face drawn and pale underneath his tan.

"What's wrong with you?" he blurted out. "You look like shit, man." Dammit, another five Hail Marys...I've lost track, I'll just say twenty tonight...

"Nightmares," Heero said simply, before changing the subject. "Where did you go? I thought we were supposed to play basketball today before lunch."

Duo gasped. "Oh, dammit!" Five more, Duo, you idiot. "I'm sorry, I was at church and I guess I completely forgot...You want to go now?"

Heero shook his head. "No. Let's try for tomorrow morning. I'm going to go take a nap."

The American's brows furrowed. "You're that tired?"

"Yeah." He raised an eyebrow. "Come with me?"

Duo immediately felt guilt punch him in the gut and he scratched the back of his head. "Uh, yeah, I need to talk to you about that...Let's go up to the room."

Confused, Heero trailed him out and followed him up the stairs and into the room they shared, where Duo shut the door.

"I went to confession today," he said carefully, choosing his words as one might choose a fine wine. "I confessed my sins, of course, it's what you do in a confessional...and I very vaguely mentioned that I'm fighting for the colonies."

Heero's face hardened instantly and Duo had to touch his shoulder to calm him down. "Don't worry, I never said my name, my affiliation, anything. I know what I'm doing, Heero.

"Anyway, my point is that the priest...I think his name was Father Guerrin, I'm not sure...thinks that when we share a bed, it can lead to...that it can lead to...you know, more..." He was furiously red and he couldn't bring himself to look into the intense blue eyes of his best friend.

Heero was stunned. And after a few tense moments, he chuckled. A few moments later, a bubbling laugh poured out of him and he had to clench his sides as he sat down on the bed, laughing harder than Duo had ever seen him.

Duo for his part merely stood there, staring in shock as Heero Yuy, the most serious boy he'd ever met, laughed so hard that he fell sideways onto the soft, blue checkered comforter. It took a few minutes, but he finally calmed down enough to grin up at Duo, eyes sparkling with tears of mirth. "Is that all?"

The braided boy was floored. "Is that all?! What do you mean, is that all?!"

"Duo, think about it--you and I are best friends, right?"

"Yes."

"We have nightmares, right?"

"...Yes." He wondered where Heero was going.

"We're very close?"

"Yes!"

"And the nightmares don't happen as often or as intense if we share a bed?"

"Yes, dammit, yes!"

Heero had grown serious again, head tilted slightly in a calculated manner. "We are in a war. We may not see the end of it. And you want to stop sharing a bed because you believe we're suddenly going to find ourselves having sex?" He shook his head, still slightly amused. "Duo, if I'm going to die within the year, I'm going to do what I feel is right for me. I do not like the nightmares. They go away when I'm with you. Therefore, you're staying with me." He cocked his head a little more, looking up at his friend. "What do you think? Is killing people less of a sin than literally, not figuratively, sleeping with me is? If you have to go to hell for something, would you rather it be because you killed people or because you slept with a boy to stop the screaming nightmares?"

Duo thought about this, noting that Heero had never spoken so much in one breath before. His accent was more pronounced the longer he talked. "But Heero, I don't know..."

The Japanese boy stood up, eye to eye with Duo. "Listen to me. Think logically. Nothing has happened between us, nothing will happen. We are friends, are we not?"

For some reason, Duo was a bit hurt that Heero was so sure nothing would happen. But what if it did? What then? How will I take that? He pushed the thought away and instead focused on what Heero had been saying. It really did make sense. He sighed, rubbing at his temples where a tension headache began to form. "You're right, as usual. I was being stupid."

Heero touched him lightly on his cheek. "No you weren't. You just needed to see the logical side of the situation." He tried to hide a yawn and failed, eyes daring Duo to laugh or comment. Duo didn't. "Now. Will you take a nap with me? Last night was...rough."

"Yeah, sure."

They shifted around beneath the covers, once Duo had taken his shoes off, until they were comfortable. For the first time, Duo was the one holding Heero, and Heero was cradled almost like a child. He didn't complain, though, and Duo ran gentle fingers through his messy hair until he fell asleep.

I'm not in love with my best friend, he decided firmly. Nah...I just don't want to see him hurt. Heero and I are just best friends. That's all...

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