Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ The Missing Piece ❯ Chapter 38

Title: The Missing Piece

Author: Skeren Dreamera, with Bagelbunion co-writing

Archive: http://www.gundam-wing-fanfiction.net/ Mediaminer.org (under Skeren Dreamera) http://www.afallenangel.net/makotosagara/frames/fanfiction.html

Categ ory: Sci Fi additions, Yaoi/Shounen Ai

Pairings: 5x2, 3x1, 4x3, 3x4x1 2+6, 4+6, 1+6, 1+2 only kinda

Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing, so please, don't sue me, it would be pointless!

Rating: NC-17

Spoilers: Heero's Zero stuff

Warnings: Just the OOC warning that applies to the whole thing.

Contact: Mickeofas@yahoo.com

Notes: *thoughts* Sliding one thing into another... Duo finally hits a low, low point.

Begin part thirty eight

Heero led the way out of the room to the kitchen, hoping that Quatre knew a way to salvage what they had here. Once he was partially down the hall, he got curious as to the apparent lateness of the day. "Quatre, why is it so late?"

"Well..." Quatre blushed..."We were really 'busy' this morning and... Heh... Most of the afternoon, then some other things happened and well... It's just late now." Quatre shrugged and started taking inventory of the kitchen, wondering what they could possibly cook. "Milliardo? Can you cook at all?" Quatre asked nervous. He was all right cook, Wufei was better though, with Trowa being the best among those who had been willing to cook before. None of them had ever managed to pin Duo down with cooking duties after that one incident...

Zechs came down the hall with the other two following as he heard the question addressed to him, and he wasn't even in the room. "What was that Quatre?"

"How are your cooking skills?" Quatre asked, as he pulled out a can with no label, studying it intently as though to make it reveal its contents.

Zechs made a little face. "I was ranked in Treize's army, cooking was a rather important skill... But I can't make anything simple. It's rather pathetic really."

"Guess it's up to me then. Well I can make burritos I guess." Quatre started to get out ingredients; he just hoped this ended up being edible.

"I only burnt the food the once, there just isn't enough here to really make anything..." Duo still had a hold on Wufei's hand and squeezed it, studying how he was reacting to the others now. Wufei squeezed back, he seemed to be feeling better but was still clearly a little apprehensive around the others. Duo looked over at Wufei with a little sigh. He really wished they all hadn't moved; it would have been better.

"At least you aren't worried about giving me a knife, Trowa wouldn't even let me try once he saw how clumsy I've become." Zechs' cheeks were red tinged but he sat on the opposite side of Heero, who'd settled beside Duo, while Wufei was at his other side of the braided teen.

"You're getting better though." Quatre began to heat up some beans on the stove.

"True, can't defend myself, but I can move without tripping over myself all the time now." Zechs seemed pleased with this and tried not to wince once he heard his proud tone. *Surely I'm not counting walking properly as an accomplishment...*

Quatre looked up from cooking to beam at him. "See? I told you it wouldn't take long."

Zechs raised an eyebrow and leaned across Heero to rest a hand on Duo so the other wouldn't think he was mad at him. He was gratified the boy didn't flinch. "If I were improved, Duo wouldn't have been able to scratch me all to hell." Zechs was more than a tad annoyed as Quatre shrugged off his comment as nothing and went back to cooking.

Wufei squeezed Duo's hand tight under the table. He was still nervous about others touching Duo but tried to push it down, lest Duo get mad at him again.

Heero frowned over at Quatre, then shrugged, wrapping an arm over Zechs while the longhaired blonde was practically in his lap, then he looked to Duo and Wufei. "Maybe one of you could be more informative about the 'other events' that happened today that I seem to not be able to remember?"

Duo was finally broken from his melancholy mood, stifling a sudden giggle that had Heero's eyebrows spiking upwards. "You... My god, I don't know how you got to it, but Q, you really should tell!"

"Do what?" Quatre asked, intent on cooking. *Should I make enough for five? Or six? I don't know when Trowa's coming back...*

"Tell him what he did! I only saw part of it! I nice sizable part of it thanks to Zechs' quick reflexes, but still, C'mon!" Duo was turned around, looking at Quatre. He really wanted to know!

"What are you all talking about last I remember before I woke up is..." Heero trailed off with a frown, then blushed a bit. "I think it was Quatre leaving the room."

"Not now. I have to concentrate... ACK! NO!" Quatre reached quickly for the tomatoes that were rolling quickly towards the floor.

Heero just peered closely at Duo. "See? He isn't going to tell me anything like that. What do you know of it?"

Zechs cleared his throat. "I had to run from you because Quatre threw your gun to me, and all you were wearing was the lovely cock gear. And you sounded rather upset." Zechs moved to sit up, but Heero kept him in place, running his fingers over Zechs back as the tall blond resigned himself to his fate of leaning halfway off his chair over Heero's body.

*Ah geeze. What now?* Quatre dropped the cheese grater loudly as Zechs said 'cock gear and turned to look at the others waiting for Heero to blow up.

Heero didn't blow up, instead looking over at Quatre with the oddest expression. "Why did you have my gun?"

"You gave it to me?" Quatre offered in a slightly high voice.

Zechs tried to retreat to his own seat again, but Heero tightened his grip. Why was he picking on him? He just wanted to sit up already. Heero wasn't going to yield though, his palm inching around from his back to rest against Zechs' chest in a tight grip as his other hand pet the long hair.

"No. I distinctly remember entrusting that to Trowa." Heero kept his gaze steady on Quatre, his gaze focused. "Besides, why would I have to chase you for it?"

"Can we not talk about this now?!" Quatre yelled, completely flustered as he spilled part of the meal again.

Heero turned from looking at Quatre and saw Duo wilt as Quatre yelled, his hopes for his side of things dashed before he spun back around in his seat, hand still holding Wufei's too look at Zechs. "I dislike memory gaps, I've enough already from my childhood."

Duo looked to Zechs, who returned his attention with an exasperated look while Heero absently petted him. "Comfortable?"

Zechs was, even if it pained to admit it, happy for all the attention he'd been getting, but he wasn't sure he cared to be the house pet. He was still a skilled human being, for all the genetic changes. "Unfortunately. What about me is compelling the lot of you to play in my hair?"

Wufei shivered hearing the words 'memory gaps' and squeezed Duo's hand a little tighter, a tiny nearly inaudible whimper leaving his lips. Duo returned the squeeze, reaching out to play in Zechs' hair as well. "It's pretty is why." He then turned to Wufei, giving him a hug before pulling him into his lap, closer to the other two, one of which being Zechs who had the most interesting look on his face, between exasperated and amused.

Wufei wiggled a little not expecting the sudden glomp. He snuggled into Duo's embrace a little, reaching out to play with Duo's hair, not in the least interested in touching Zechs.

Zechs rested his chin on Heero's knee, closing his eyes on a little grumble. "Yeah, and Heero here just has a thing for the whole long hair deal. If he likes it so much I'd think he'd grow his own." It's meant to be playful, but Heero shook his head sternly.

"I'm not allowed, it's a liability. J would never let me do something so frivolous. Even if it is pretty like you guys with yours." Heero ran his finger through Zechs' platinum locks again with a faint smile, catching Wufei mimicking him out of the corner of his eye, though Duo's hair was still up in the braid Zechs put in. It was something that Wufei would likely notice eventually. Wufei caught Heero's gaze and nervously smiled back before looking away quickly and turning away from everyone to bury his face into Duo's neck.

Heero felt a small smile emerge on his face and was almost visibly suprized when he couldn't get rid of it. "You three are lucky to have your own long hair, no matter how you keep it." Heero lowered his gaze back to Zechs after seeing Duo smile at him slightly in return.

Duo wrapped his arms around Wufei's waist, understanding that he was feeling a little more fragile at the moment. He was himself after that morning. Wufei hummed lightly at the attention and moved so that he was now straddling Duo's thighs so he could sit better. Duo laughed huskily as he felt Wufei rearrange and nuzzle at him, his eyes falling shut. He could handle this attention perfectly fine. The recent memories made him feel more modest, but no more. Not yet at least.

"Okay. I think I have some mostly edible burritos now." Quatre carried several large plates to the table, looking a little flustered, a few beans and lettuce staining his clothes. Heero gazed at Quatre consideringly, then tilted his head a little before licking his lips in a rather suggestive movement, his attention then being diverted back to the blond he was petting like a tamed falcon. Quatre sat down with a slight huff, hoping that the food was stomachable. He picked up his own burrito and taking a bite.

Duo quirked his lips in amusement as he watched Quatre's timid approach to his food. He ran a hand up and down Wufei's back; eyes half closed as he picked up his own food and ate it with far less hesitance. Zechs noticed what was going on and raised a hand, less than enthused about it, but finally sitting up with a little stretch. The fact that Heero let him was just the food. He turned to the food, picking it up to nibble at it as Heero followed suit. He'd actually managed to get fully comfortable and the food came. Figures.

Quatre ate quickly and finished before he rose to put his plate in the sink. *When is Trowa coming back? I don't want to cook again!*

Duo smiled at Quatre over Wufei's shoulder. "Hey Q, care to tell us now what happened with Hee-chan?"

Quatre shrugged, trying to look careless. "I took his gun. Not much else to tell."

Heero gave Quatre an intent gaze. "How?"

"Trowa gave it to me. I think..." Quatre sat back at the table.

Wufei wiggled a little on Duo's lap adjusting his position slowly. Duo let Wufei rearrange, figuring he wanted to eat. Wufei didn't want to eat, he just wanted to hold Duo closer, and he sighed as he rested his head on the side, his breath warm on Duo's neck.

Heero moved from his chair with that slinking step that he'd exhibited in the bedroom as he circled around to Quatre, draping his arms over him. "Then why'd you run away with it?"

"Cause you chased me." Quatre blushed and crossed his arms in front of his chest.

"Why did I feel the need to chase you?" Heero was slowly giving way to Odin, and his tone was getting less flat, Heero wanted to know, so Odin was going to let him know, now that Heero knew of him. It was a new trick that the two-sided mind behind those cobalt eyes was quickly picking up.

"You wanted it back, I suppose." Quatre shrugged carefully, still trying to decide if Heero was mad at him or not.

"I just wanted to play." Heero's tone dropped entirely down into a purr as he nuzzled Quatre, his arms tightening a little as Zechs and Duo watched in fascination. "And you didn't want to anymore."

Quatre paused and stiffened, before turning to look at Heero. "Oh." He picked his hand up and slowly ran it through Heero's chocolate locks and resting it on his neck. He leaned forward and placed his own forehead on Heero. "And you wanna play now? That's the impression I'm getting..."

"Nah, I just got to come out cause Heero wasn't gettin any answers!" Heero sing songed the last three words before moving back from Quatre, head shaking back and forth. "Alright, lessee, I know Duo, and Quatre, hmm and the other two..." Heero trailed off, cat footing it back over to study Zechs who was looking at him wide eyed as he dropped back into his own seat. "Hmmm, I saw you before, with my gun. I need names!" Heero cast sly eyes over to Wufei, then they gentled, seeing how he clung to Duo. "You alright?"

Wufei blinked at the unHeero-like behavior. *Did I miss something?* He turned away again, and nodded hoping that was a good answer. "As long as you are nearby." he whispered into Duo's ear.

*What? This is too odd...* Quatre sat back in his seat and tried not to worry.

"Oh. I didn't mean to scare you, I seem to be doing that often today... I'm Odin, and you?" Odin tilted his head, resting his head on the back of Duo's chair so he could look into Wufei's face. He was so happy to be on the outside for once. Heero needed a rest anyway.

Wufei jerked his head back, suddenly surprised. *What's he playing at?* He leaned back a little more, while his hands squeezed Duo. "Chang Wufei."

"Hello." Heero practically chirped at Wufei, his eyes having that silver tint that wasn't really arousal after all, so much as the flip in control. "Okay, you gave me the whole name. Let me try that again, Odin Lowe Jr. Not that the guy was my dad but hey, what can you do?" Odin shrugged, pulling back of the chair to lean across the startled Zechs' lap. "Soooo, what do I get to call you?" Heero's fingers drifted up, and he twined the fine light hair around his fingers, a smile on his face.

*I don't wanna know...* Wufei thought to himself and hid his face in Duo's neck again, trying to hide from everyone. It was becoming a little overwhelming for him, after the last 24 hours of strange flashbacks; he was starting to become over-stimulated.

Duo petted Wufei, his own expression classic, but Wufei couldn't see it, though his thought are right along the lines of *I'm with you buddy, I'm with you.* He was staring at Odin rather pointedly. *He has his own name?*

Quatre just watched Odin, half in amusement, half in curiosity. He wasn't the only one who was weirded out by this situation.

Zechs stared down at the open, affectionate creature in his lap and blinked. "You may call me Miri." Quatre snorted and tried to cover up his laughter. Zechs' head lifted from Odin, though he winced as his hair got tugged when his attention got diverted. "What's so funny?"

"Nothing." Quatre defended. "Would anyone like dessert? I know there's some cookies in here somewhere. I can't screw that up. By the way, how were the burritos, I see that everyone ate his... So..." Quatre's eyes trailed to Wufei's plate where a burrito still remained untouched. "Wufei?"

Odin sat up, giving another yelp causing tug to Zechs' hair before looking at Wufei. "I did scare you. I'm sorry." Heero got up, moving away from the table with a little sigh as he hummed softly, moving away from the others. His humming sounded shockingly like a funeral march of some sort.

Wufei continued to hide his face. He didn't want to look at anyone right now. *Especially not... Odin!*

Duo couldn't take it, he had to focus the new bright side of Odin on himself and get a few answers. "Err... Odin? Why do you have that name?"

"Hmm? Oh, it's the only actual name I ever had. Alright, so it was a codename, but it's all I had for what?" Odin trailed off, thinking. "Err, nevermind the years, but I'll just say Odin wasn't all that original when it came to names. Though clearly, J isn't either." He shook his head, gazing at Wufei sadly. "I'm sorry you don't like me Wufei, I'll leave you alone until the other wants back." Wufei nodded, his arms tightening around Duo. Odin turned his back on the table and wandered away from the pair, managing to locate his things before returning with his gun cleaning supplies, he then sat at the table, efficiently taking his gun apart before he started to clean it.

Quatre couldn't help it; he burst into laughter, slamming one fist on the table and doubled over in laughter. Wufei jumped out of Duo's lap at the sound and whimpering softly headed for another corner of the room.

Odin froze in place, turning wide eyes on Quatre, then over at Wufei before setting his partially taken apart gun down and glaring at Quatre. "You don't scare people like that!"

Duo hurried after Wufei with a soothing hushing sound, his hands in a flurry of petting his back as he murmured to him soothingly. "Oh Fei Fei, hush now."

"I'm sorry." Quatre took a few deep breaths to calm himself, trying to stop his laughter. He got up form the table and went over to Wufei, who was sitting in the corner, hugging his knees to his chest, his face hidden. "Wufei. I'm sorry." He then looked to Duo as if to say 'I'm sorry' when it didn't change anything.

Duo glared at Quatre before sitting on the floor, his arms going around Wufei. It was becoming a horrible, horrible morning for him with some interesting high points. Wufei leaned into Duo's touched and relaxed a little. "Duo..." His voice was abject misery and it was clear he was trying to calm himself down from his sudden shock. He was trying to put up with all these... people... For Duo, but he wasn't doing very well. He was afraid.

Heero slumped his shoulders over closer to the table and resumed taking the weapon apart. He'd just listen to the others and not say anything; all that he was doing was causing issues. Quatre cleared his throat nervously, and figured there were some chores somewhere in the house, that he could make better use of his time with.

Duo soothed Wufei as best he could, closing his eyes and resting his face against Wufei's shoulder. "I'm sorry. I guess... I just need them right now. I remembered things, and... I need to know we're safe."

Wufei just whimpered again. He sure didn't feel safe at the moment. "I want to go to bed." he expressed loudly, not caring if anyone heard it or not. Duo swept Wufei up, moving from the room dejectedly. He was getting depressed very quickly and he saw no way to stop it. Wufei sighed softly and let himself be carried. Duo moved down the hallway and settled Wufei into the bed, before crawling in next to him, suddenly overcome with the urge to cry. His memories, now that it was just the two of them... He didn't feel comforted, he just felt unworthy and miserable. He hadn't given into it when it happened but now it was so much worse. He had an almost perfect memory, nearly photographic, and he remembered all the horrors of three weeks at once.

Wufei also felt like crying, but for a different reason. He pulled the covers closer over the both of them. *That's right... Duo and I had sex... Then we fought... It started just like this...* Wufei rolled over on his stomach and buried his face in a pillow. He didn't want to fight again. *Then I woke in Heero's room... No... That's not right...* Wufei sighed. He was starting to relax being one-on-one with Duo again, even though a different emotion was making it's way through his body: Fear of Duo

Duo felt Wufei roll away and simply rolled onto his stomach, pulling a pillow close and burying his face in it. Then he took a deep breath and lifted his head. "I think... I think I remember a lot more than you now Fei... I remembered everything I think." He then tucked his face back into the pillow as a shiver racked his body while he tried to press them back, but he knew that the memories weren't leaving again.

"I don't want to remember. I just want to get better." Wufei announced, slightly muffled as he shook his head back and forth in the pillow. "I just want it to go away so I will not be weak anymore."

"Well I don't have any choice in the matter, it's back... And I can't make it go away! I made it go away, but I can't anymore... I can't." Duo clutched the pillow to his chest protectively, moving away from Wufei as a particularly vivid wash of memories overcame him, and he shuddered violently. Wufei moved a little towards him and the memories became practically real. He toppled right off the bed in his sudden haste to get away from anyone living, retreating back with a low curse. He knew it wasn't real, but his body was moving back before he could stop it, the onslaught too much.

"Duo?" Wufei suddenly sat up as he felt Duo's sudden retreat. "Duo!?" He leaned over the bed looking for Duo in concern.

Duo skittered back, cursing lowly to himself, trapped in his brand new box of bad memories. "I'm safe, I'm safe, I'm safe..." He was repeating it over and over and was shaking, his back hit the wall and he curled his knees up, trying to deal with the vivid flashes of things he'd rather not remember.

"DUO!" Wufei yelled then quickly skittered over to him, the blankets being thrown aside, but not by Wufei's hands. He immediately crouched down next to Duo, and whispered along with him. "Yes, you are safe. You're safe."

Duo shook his head back and forth, rocking; he'd be all right if Wufei didn't touch him. He wouldn't cry, wouldn't acknowledge it. It's be just something that happened to someone else. He could live through anything. He had to smile; a promise is a promise. *Damn my humor...* The second Duo thought that he started into hysterical laughter, and he tried to stop it, he knew if he kept laughing he'd start crying, and he couldn't. He had to be strong...

Wufei backed away afraid. *What's going on?* Wufei didn't know what to do and moved slowly back to the bed, just watching, afraid to touch and afraid to watch, yet compelled to. He felt so powerless.

Duo's laughter desolved into wracking sobs that he tried desperately to hide, but they shook his entire body. He hadn't cried. He hadn't ever actually cried. A few tears here and there, but this... He'd never grieved or cried for himself. This was all of it finally escaping. This was like comparing a hurricane to a drizzle; there was no comparison in ferocity. Duo tucked his face into his knees, making himself as small as possible, his arms wrapped around his legs and his back pressed against the wall. He took up a new chant, a desperate one, he was grasping at something he knew wouldn't work. "Don't remember, it isn't real, don't remember..."

Wufei just watched terrified. He wanted to help, but couldn't, his touch just made... Just made Duo cringe, and it hurt! *I don't want Duo to hurt! They hurt you! I'm no better if now I make you hurt!*

Duo remained that way for a while, his sobs dying down into quiet whimpers as he continued to hide in his little ball. He finally seemed to realize where he was and what he was doing, his tear-streaked head lifting his agonized gaze to look at Wufei, shame, sadness and self hate written all over him, as well as a deep need to be forgiven. To be cleaned. He finally uncurled from the ball, crawling gracelessly across the room to Wufei and crossing his arms at the edge of the bed, his forehead resting on them. "I'm sorry, so sorry..." It was a plea.

"It's alright." Wufei soothed. "It's okay." Wufei tossed back the covers, "Come to bed?" he asked, nervous after the display and half-expecting Duo to yell at him and say no. Duo slid up into the bed, timid, his memories having beaten away his usually vibrant personality. He moved closer to Wufei and extended his hand to touch him, clearly expecting to be knocked away for whatever it was he'd just cried over and remembered. Wufei grabbed his hand and immediately kissed it softly. "I wish I could make it all go away Duo. For both of us." He lay down and pulled Duo close to kiss his forehead, it was a change, Duo was usually soothing him and offering comfort and now it was Wufei's turn.

Duo wrapped his arms around Wufei, still shivering with occasional random sobs as he clung, his eyes closed tightly as he hid his face against Wufei's neck. He couldn't seem to stop apologizing. "I'm sorry, so sorry, shouldn't have cried, can't make it real, I'm sorry..." Some of his apologies weren't even for Wufei, but for people who could never forgive him, because they no longer had the ability.

"Shh... It's all right. I forgive you. It's okay." Wufei kissed him again, softly and lay his hands on Duo's back gently, occasionally stroking Duo's hair with his soft fingers moving slowly between the strands. "It's alright."

"What am I to be your safe haven in a hell among war? It is unfair to you." Wufei said suddenly, the words coming from somewhere in his brain, used suddenly as Duo had used them for him.

Duo finally ceased his apologies, shocked out of them with the simple phrases, and said a finally painfully raw sentence. "I'm not allowed to cry..." Duo closed his eyes, tears soaking against Wufei's shirt, as he tried to justify it, his guilt.

"No. It's all right. Duo, you can cry all you want. I don't care." Wufei soothed again and gave Duo an affectionate little Eskimo kiss.

"I can't! I can't smile and cry... A promise is a promise..." But oh how he was trying to do just that. He was one of the few that could show a truly mournful smile.

"Duo Maxwell." Wufei said sternly. "Look at me."

To be continued.