Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ The Road to Kindness ❯ Surgery Part 8 ( Chapter 15 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]
By: shinigamiinochi
The unthinkable has happened: while separated from the others, Duo and Heero have gone missing. The only thing more chilling than the fact that they have been kidnapped is the identity of their kidnapper. Is it Relena or Zechs, or someone much more dangerous?

Anime/Manga: Gundam Wing Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Drama / Hentai / Psychological / Romance / Angst | Type: Yaoi | Uploaded On: 05.06.2009 | Pages: 4 | Words: 15.0K | Visits: 219 | Status: Work In Progress

The Road to Kindness
Chapter 7
 
 
Part 8
 
 
 
 
Heero's head felt like it had been split open, his skull throbbing unpleasantly with his racing heartbeat. His throat felt like he had thrown up a few times, but now his stomach felt completely empty and whatever sickness he had felt in the darkness had ebbed and he only felt pain. He opened his eyes blearily and made a small noise of pain as the bright lights seemed to become knives in his brain. He was sitting uncomfortably on a hard wood floor, against something solid, his arms behind him far enough to make his shoulders ache. He could taste blood in his mouth and feel it trickle down his neck into his t-shirt, hot and thick. He squirmed with the feel of it, only to discover that he was bound to whatever it was he was lying against. The problem of that didn't come to him, his thoughts were too thick, muffled, and pained to come to him easily. Something supplied him with the word `concussion' unhelpfully. He dared to try to open his eyes again and the light didn't hurt quite so much.
His vision was blurry, but the more he kept his eyes open the clearer it got, though the pain made him want to close them again. The walls surrounding him were a dull cram color, for which Heero was grateful. He thought that any bright colors right now would make his brain explode in his skull. There were no windows anywhere in the small room, but there was a table with a lamp and overhead lights that kept the room brightly lit. His eyes continued to feed his damaged brain information; he was sitting on a wood floor because the pale carpet had been ripped away and there was only one door, only one exit, that he could see. It was the feel of cold, hard metal around his wrists that brought him some much need, much dreaded, clarity.
He was cuffed to a metal bed frame. Common sense told him there was no way he was getting unbound without some help, but with a rising panic, he fought against his bonds anyway, only to discover that the frame was bolted to the floor. He was trapped. Even if he could get to his cell phone, he had no idea where he was.
`Duo!' his mind screamed at him, `Where's Duo?! I have to protect him!'
Yes, Duo was what mattered right now. He had to protect him, no matter what, even if he had to tear his own hands off to get the cuffs off. He could remember… his head hurt so bad, but he could access his memories now. He could remember… he and Duo had been waiting for Quatre, Trowa, and Wufei. Had they been kidnapped, too? If they had, he was fucked. As long as one of them got away, they could go to the police. But then again, if they didn't check back into the hotel that night, Une would have to look for them anyway, but that didn't mean that he was going to be found. He remembered the sudden blow to his head, he remembered Duo screaming for him, he had sounded so scared… if anything happened to Duo, he was going to kill the person who had done this! Had Duo gotten away? He hoped so, but he doubted Duo would have left him. He would have rather gotten hurt than abandoned him, but Heero wished that he had. What if Duo was hurt somewhere far away from him? Fuck, but he was useless chained up like this!
He wondered what this could all be about, who had taken them. Just he and Duo had so many enemies; Relena, Zechs, Noventa, Alex, it could be just a random kidnapping, a tactical strike to get some ransom out of his mother, or even one of the boys that had tried to rape Duo, come back for revenge about getting kicked out of school. Duo… if he could just figure out where he was, then everything would be fine. He would stop panicking, he could think things through, as long as Duo was safe.
His head was still throbbing and the mere act of turning his head sent pain shooting down his neck, but he told himself that he had to take in his surroundings completely, had to find some way to get out of… wherever he was. Lifting and turning his head the scant foot towards the wall hurt like hell, but he forgot that fact when he saw Duo, only a few feet away from him. The relief at seeing his best friend so close to him, somewhere he could watch him and maybe help him, was enough to dull the pain a little. Duo was slumped against the wall, still unconscious, and Heero had to wonder if he had been taken as violently as he had. He frantically looked him over, looking for any wounds or blood, but couldn't see any. That didn't make him relax, though. He couldn't see through Duo's dark clothes, couldn't see the back of his head because of his long hair. He could be hurt, dying, and he could even tell!
`Stop it!' he snapped at himself. He couldn't afford to panic right now. If Duo was hurt, he would need him to stay level headed. AS it was, he couldn't see any blood any where and he clung to that fact. Duo was chained up like he was, though he was chained to a towel rack sticking out of the wall, bolted like the bed was, but since Duo was unable to stand the way he was tied up, he wouldn't be able to get enough momentum to get the rack out of the wall, and that was even assuming that the wall was made of plaster or wood and not something much stronger. He wouldn't be tied up if he was seriously injured, right?
Heero caught the signs that Duo was waking up, a shifting of his unbound legs, a fact that made him realize for the first time that they were missing their shoes, and his breathing changed. He finally released a small bit of his anxiety. Waking was a very, very good thing. Maybe Duo knew who had taken them… this seemed beyond Zechs' capabilities, but he wouldn't put it past him. The violet color of Duo's eyes was a balm to his panic and worries. The hazy look to them was sheer relief and anxiety at the same time. If their kidnapper had drugged him, then Duo hadn't been hit like he had, he wasn't hurt, just slightly out of it. But he didn't know what drugs Duo had been given and he had no idea how his body was reacting to it. Because of Duo's anemia, drugs had a stronger affect on him. Did their kidnapper know that, or had they given him too much? Duo, in his current state, wasn't going to be able to help him very much. He now doubted that Zechs or Relena was responsible for this, it was too… professional. They had taken him, the physically stronger one, out with a perfectly placed blow, designed not for pain, but to incapacitate him, leaving Duo vulnerable. He wanted to slam his head against the metal frame in punishment. How could he have been so stupid?! Quatre had disappeared and he had shrugged it off like it was nothing. He had taken Duo off of the main street, where there were no people, and hadn't paid any attention to their surroundings. If anything happened to Duo or Quatre, it would be all his fault!
Heero saw, quite clearly, the moment when the drugs started to abate a little and Duo finally seemed to realize where he was, or at least that he was tied down. His eyes cleared a little, then widened. Heero knew what was going to happen before it even did. Duo had told him, more than once, about his last few weeks with Wes. He had told him about being chained up in the same bed for two whole weeks. He had told him about the complete darkness, about not being able to tell who was touching him or what day it was. Duo had told him about the drugs, how much they had hurt, how they had burned through every inch of his body and how… scattered he had felt in its wake, unable to tell up from down. He had told him about how utterly helpless and horrific he had felt during those two weeks. He had told him about the sex, though only vaguely, about how that sense of constant… pain… constant violation of trying to get some grasp on himself, some control, some strength, and slipping in drowning in himself, had driven him to the literal brink of madness. Heero could understand, remembering those terrible words, how Duo's fear of being trapped, his fear of the darkness, was so damn powerful. He, frankly, didn't understand how Duo had come out of the other side of those terrible experiences as intact as he was. So, when the fear and realization of his bonds had come into Duo's eyes, Heero saw the panic attack seconds before it hit.
Duo's body tensed like a string, tightened nearly beyond its capabilities, then, just as suddenly… he snapped. Duo had always been quite good at making him feel helpless emotionally. He had always felt so… useless, when Duo really needed him, he never knew what to do to make things better, but this was the first time he had ever felt physically useless. Duo thrashed violently in his bonds, but it wasn't the threat of Duo hurting himself on the metal cuffs that terrified him, it was simply his friend's emotional state. As… incapable as he felt in the best of times, he didn't know by now the little things that it took to keep Duo anchored in reality; a hug, a soothing voice, some physical presence to tell him that he was safe, loved, and cared for. But, fuck, he couldn't even touch him! In that moment, he was no longer afraid of their situation, he simply felt a deep rage at their kidnapper for making him incapable of soothing his scared friend. Duo didn't scream, though Heero thought it would be better if he did. Instead, his breaths came out in harsh pants and Heero realized in alarm that he was hyperventilating. Chained up and drugged, in an unknown place, thinking that he was all alone and trapped, Heero would have been shocked if Duo hadn't had a panic attack, but he couldn't stop it! What if Duo stopped breathing? All he had right now, the only thing that their kidnapper hadn't hindered, was his voice, but talking was one thing he had never been good at. He watched in shock as Duo continued to struggle against his bonds with an almost feral, mindless determination, making small noises of frustration, on the verge of tears. He had to do something or Duo was going to end up hurting himself mentally. It was the sight of blood on Duo's wrists that made pure, startling clarity worm its way through his pain-clouded mind.
“Duo, it's ok!” he called, “You're ok. Ssh, you're safe, just open your eyes, we're both ok,” Heero lied. He had thought that he would never do that to Duo, but right now, even if Duo knew he was lying, he needed to hear those things. Duo had been squeezing his eyes closed, as though he could kid himself into thinking he was somewhere else, but at the mere sound of Heero's voice, those deep amethyst eyes shot open and he searched for him with such a fierce, desperate intensity that it frightened Heero. As their eyes met from across the room, duo immediately stopped thrashing. It was alarming, watching Duo become completely still, nearly collapsing like a wooden doll.
“Heero,” Duo breathed roughly.
“It's ok,” Heero repeated, smiling a little in relief as Duo, his Duo, seemed to come back to himself, “Everything's going to be ok, I'm going to get us out of this,” Heero promised passionately. Any other comforts he could possibly give Duo died on his tongue as they heard heavy footsteps coming down what sounded like a long hallway towards their door. They tensed, on alert, though Heero felt a little foolish, it wasn't like they could do anything, both watching the door with wide eyes.
`Maybe we're in a hotel, maybe this isn't the person who had taken us, maybe…' Heero told himself, willing himself not to panic, but the sound of footsteps stopped at the door. Heero thought he would panic with the realization that Duo was closer to the door than him. It was his job to protect him… but how the fuck could he do that in this situation?! The person on the other side of the door put a key in the lock and it sounded grating and harsh, echoing in the silent room. Suddenly, before Heero could even realize that he didn't really have a plan, the door opened and they got a glimpse of their abductor for the first time, the both of them looking on at the person in fear.
“Fuck,” Heero heard Duo swear under his breath.
 
*****
 
Name flicked her cell phone closed for the third time in twice as many minutes. Her son would be annoyed at her… neediness, she thought. She kept debating with herself; should she call Duo and Heero again or just leave them alone? The mother in her wanted to check up on them. Heero had always been a self-dependent boy, but though he had gone off by himself often, he had always been in the same town as her. But Heero wasn't the one she was worried about. It had taken all of her will power not to call them the second they had left the house. She had managed to hold off calling them, not wanting to be the sort of bothersome parent that teenagers found irritating, but it had been difficult. Still, Duo had sounded so cheerful over the phone that morning, so she shouldn't worry, right? But, even though she told herself that, she did worry. She had called again, twenty minutes ago, but no one had picked up. Through the worried voice in her head that was screaming at her that something was wrong, she rationalized that they were probably some place where they had to shut their phones off or simply wanted to be left alone. She should wait awhile before calling again. Everything was fine, she told that screaming voice, as long as Heero and Duo were together, things would be fine. Heero was a very recognizable face and no sane person would dare mess with her family. Besides, if something notable had happened, the school would have notified her. She sighed again and placed her cell phone down on the kitchen table with a feeling of finality.
She didn't want to admit it to herself, but she was lonely. She had felt this very same way on the night that her husband had died. She had gone home that night and had lain down to sleep in their large bed… all by herself. It had been in that second that his death had finally hit her, that her Alexei would never be coming home again. She had never cried again like she had that night, had never felt so… alone like she had that night. But, in the morning, she had had her son to take care of and she had shoved those dark feelings deep inside of herself so she could continue to be a good mother for Heero and never let him know that she was bleeding inside. This would be the first time since that night that she had truly felt alone. Heero and her job had always been there to distract her, but now Heero was several states away and there were no meetings to go to. That, just a few days ago, she had been taking care of four teenagers and now they were gone, leaving the house silent and empty, made the loneliness seem so severe. She wondered if this was how Duo felt his entire life; no family, no friends, just a cruel world that seemed to hate him and his own, crippled self. It was a horrible feeling for herself, just for the last few days, she couldn't even imagine how it must have felt for Duo all those years. The thought made her heart hurt, it made her want to bundle him up in the safety of her arms. It was hard to believe at times how deeply Duo had taken root in her heart. She didn't come to love easily or so strongly, but Duo had managed it, somehow. Other times, it was easy to see how she could feel so protective of him. All he had to do was flash those ancient, haunted eyes at her and she was lost with the need to take care of him. She wanted to call it her simple, maternal instinct, but it ran deeper than that.
A loud, high-pitched sound coming from upstairs tore her out of her pensive mood and she was on her feet, heading towards the steps in less than a second. She supposed that she wasn't completely alone. After all, Duo had given her the very important task of taking care of his cats. Never before would she have considered cats as proper company, but either because she was desperate for it or she had come to see them as Duo's non-human family, she did now. Name had never before thought of herself as one of those women who became invigorated with motherhood; when presented with a stranger's baby, she did not coo or get excited, before Heero had come into her life, she had never given children a thought. It was true, when Heero had been born, she had loved his babyhood, even when he had been fussy. However, she knew she couldn't have another child, Heero was enough for her. Then, Duo had come along and she felt like she was mothering another child and, really, she was. He had lived without a parent for so long, he desperately needed one, at least emotionally, and what else could you call the care and comfort she had been giving him? But, as much love as Duo had brought her, he had also brought her a great deal of pain. What had shocked her was not her maternal instincts towards Duo, but those same instincts towards his cat's kittens and how happy it made her to help Patches take care of them. It was also startling how similar the little kittens were to babies. It was those similarities that enabled her to feel so relaxed with mothering them, like she was walking in familiar territory. Patches and her kittens, all except for Shei, were still in her bedroom, but she didn't mind. Knowing that they were there was comforting. Patches was completely back to normal now, thin, sleek, and energetic, perfectly content with taking care of her babies. The only handful was her runt.
Name knew all about imprinting. She had taken a few biology courses in her life and understood how a child could come attached to familiar things it had experienced as a baby. Still, the obvious fact that Shei considered Duo her mother was… amusing. She had realized what was going on the day after they had been born. When Duo had gone off to school, Name had tried to move her into her own bedroom to see if Shei would nurse off her mother, but the second she had left the bedroom, Shei had started to screech as loudly as her tiny lungs would allow. However, once Name had put her back in Duo's bed, she had settled. Still blind at that point, Shei had reacted to Duo's familiar scent on the sheets and felt vulnerable at its loss. Name understood the instinct; Duo was the one that had gotten her to eat, had been the one to comfort and cuddle her, so Shei recognized him as `mother', the one creature that would keep her safe and fed. It was a bit ironic, actually, or at least Duo would see it that way. It had been sweet once Shei had opened her eyes and started to walk around a little, both to play and search for her guardian once she realized he wasn't around. With her new vision and bad leg, the kitten was prone to walking into things, so Name had to follow her around the house, worried she might hurt herself on the steps. The other adult cats seemed to watch this dance with amusement. It had been cute back then, since Duo came home from school and Shei would immediately stop crying for him, but now that he was in Boston, Shei seemed to sense her own vulnerability and cried at night, not even Shiva's comfort could soothe her. Name wanted to be annoyed by it, really, she did, but it was very hard to be annoyed by something so small and weak. Besides, it kept her on her toes and occupied.
She was where she had been since the last time Name had checked up on her, curled up on Duo's bed with Shiva watching her carefully, making small noises of discomfort. Sammy stayed far away from the bed, looking confused and irritated at the same time at the noises Shei was making. Toby had gotten over his annoyance of the kitten after the first two nights Duo had let her sleep in the bed and was simply perched on the edge of the bed. He seemed to give Name an exasperated look as she entered.
“I know,” she told him with a sigh, not feeling foolish about talking to the tom as though he could understand her. He sure acted like he did whenever she spoke to him. If there was any truth behind pets being like their owners, then Toby was very much like Duo, silent, but bright, always ready to give comfort while isolating himself from the rest of the pride. She sat on the bed and took Shei into her hands. The other kittens were already getting a little bit bigger, but She still looked so small and fragile, especially with her busted leg. A simple touch from Duo could usually soothe the sick kitten's cries, but it took a lot more for Name.
“Hush, sweetie,” she soothed, stroking the cat's slim back like how Duo often did, “You're being awfully silly, you know,” she said softly, “I know it's scary, him being away, but you'll get better and he'll be back soon.”
Shei finally responded to Name's voice, her tiny ears twitching in recognition and her one yellow eyes peering up at the woman.
“Good girl,” Name cooed. The cat curled up in her warm hands and Name was suddenly struck once more with the urge to call her son, to see if he was ok, but like before, she didn't give in.
 
*****
 
Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit! He and Heero were screwed! No, it was worse than that, they were dead! Getting out of their bonds no longer mattered. Getting the drugs out of his system, where they were, the intense, disemboweling fear he was feeling because he knew he was trapped, finding their cell phones, even the blood he could clearly see running down Heero's neck, none of it mattered! They were dead and there was nothing he could do about it! Worst of all… Heero was dead, and it was all his fault…
 
*****
 
Heero watched in horror as the door opened and… a complete stranger walked through. He had been expecting a lot of things to come through that door, but… he didn't know this man. How could he get them out of this when he didn't even know who their kidnapper was or what he wanted? Not that it mattered, the second that Heero saw him, he knew that, even if they got free, they couldn't fight him. The man was fucking huge, not in a beefcake way, though he did look incredibly strong, but in a `Jack the Ripper, larger than life, turn your blood to ice,' kind of way. It was as though some instinct, deep inside of him, was screaming at him, `run! Run you mother fucking idiot, just run!' Great advice, if only he could follow it. The man wasn't very old, either, spanning that bridge between being too mature to be in his twenties, but too young looking to be middle aged. He had wild-looking brown hair, not as dark as Heero's, but not chestnut like Duo's. What made Heero's stomach clench was the man's intense green eyes, a bit darker than Trowa's. The expression in those eyes was detached and feral, telling Heero that this man would feel no guilt over anything he did to them, but he would certainly relish in it. Those eyes told Heero that this man was much more dangerous than someone looking for something as petty as revenge or money. His blue eyes widened when he caught a glimpse of what the man was carrying when he turned to close and latch the door with a key, also telling Heero that they would need that key to get back out… a bottle of ammonia. Since he was little, Heero had always had a small obsession with crime dramas and mysteries. Having read and watched nearly everything on the subject, he knew that there were only two reasons why anyone would want to use the chemical, and he seriously didn't think the man was going to be doing any laundry. He was going to kill them.
With that thought, it dawned on Heero why the carpet had been pulled back. Getting blood out of carpet was nearly impossible, but on a hard wood floor, bleach or ammonia would make it unlikely that anyone could tell a crime had taken place. That thought made every inch of his body icy cold. All this time that he had been stuck in this room, he had been expecting someone like Zechs or Relena, maybe an old business partner of his mother, to come stumbling in. They would be roughed up a little, he had thought, and maybe left alone in this room to rot, but in the end, his mother or their friends would come for them, or money would be exchanged. That they could possibly die had never occurred to him. This man was serious, he was a professional. There was no talking their way out of this, he realized, if the man had brought that bottle with him, didn't that suggest he was going to kill them, no matter what was said or done in this little room? His heart thundered so loudly and quickly in his chest that it felt like it was almost humming. Death… the closest brush he had ever had with it was watching his father… fade. Now, it had come for him, too, not in a hospital bed, but in a strange place with his best friend so close to him, but also so far away that he couldn't even have the comfort of touch. He wondered what it would feel like. He wondered how it would happen, if it would hurt, and he couldn't help but wonder why, why them… Duo… would the man kill Duo first, because he was closer? It was so selfish, but he hoped not. He wanted to die first, he didn't care if Duo had suffer through the anxiety or watch him die, he didn't want to watch Duo die…
It was that thought, of watching the light go out of his Duo's lovely violet eyes, that made him snap out of his fear. It was still there, under the surface, driving his heart to nearly explode in his chest, but he could see things clearer now. He could see that, he still had promises to keep. He had promised Duo that he would keep him safe, that he would get them out of this, and he had no intention of breaking those promises. Even if this strange man did kill them, it wouldn't be because he had lain down to die like some sick animal. He wouldn't accept this, no matter what, and if he had to die for Duo to escape, then, so be it, he would die happily, knowing that the boy he loved would live. But… what if Duo had to watch him die? What would that do to him? It wasn't completely egotistical to realize that his death might cause Duo to completely snap and still, underneath all of his anxieties about Duo's health, he still couldn't help but wonder why and how… how this man would try to kill them… if he could only figure that out, maybe he could prevent it… Yes, he preferred this, the logic in his head taking over and that insane fear ebbing drop by drop, making it impossible for him to just accept this… like some sort of slaughter-house sheep.
Heero watched, taking in every movement, as the man put the bottle of ammonia on the table and finally saw what else was on there; their cell phones, and a needle, presumably filled with whatever the man had given Duo to knock them out. At least he hadn't tossed the phones away. Maybe he was planning to blackmail his mother after all? But then why the ammonia? That one fact kept burning in his mind. Those terrible green eyes met his briefly, then the man turned to look down at Duo. The look in those eyes was strange, there was a palpable familiarity in them, much more so than when he had looked at Heero. A spark of suspicion filled his mind and it was instantly solidified when the man smirked at Duo and Duo, his shoulders shaking with fear, glared up at him with an intense hatred that Heero had never seen on his normally gentle friend's face. It struck him, in an almost physical blow. They knew each other, and what was more, Duo was utterly terrified by the man. The green-eyed man clucked his tongue as he seemed to notice that Duo's wrists were bleeding. It was the sort of thing a parent would do at finding that their child had done something foolish or careless.
“I leave you alone for twenty whole minutes and you've already hurt yourself,” the man chided, his voice deep and rough, but amused. Duo's glare intensified to the point that, if a look could kill, Heero thought that the man would have keeled over where he stood. He had never seen that sort of rage in Duo before and was shocked by it. Who was this man?
“Fuck you, Chris!” Duo snarled, even as he was shrinking back, trying to press himself deeper into the wall in a desperate effort to get away.
 
*****
 
He didn't want to believe this, he couldn't believe this… he felt like his mind was ripping apart. Chris had followed him… he was here, reinserting himself in his new life after all this time as though it had only been yesterday. He would have felt disappointed that he hadn't killed him back then if his terror hadn't turned his brain into a mess of white noise. If he squinted and looked into Chris' terrible, cold green eyes, it was like all those wonderful things had never happened, all the steps he had taken to get to this point, his struggles with his panic attacks, all those wonderful memories he had made with Heero and Name, Quatre and Trowa, even with Wufei, his newfound strength, all of it, vanished in a single blink and he fell backwards, back into the scared, wounded, lonely child he had been when he and Heero had first met. He felt completely helpless. Chris would do what he did best; he would shatter him into pieces, then grind him into dust. He had already started the job halfway, just by being here, by looking him in the eye. If he hadn't been anchored to the wall, he would have crawled under the bed and hid. As it was, he wanted to just fade away into himself, to hide from whatever it was Chris was going to do to them, because, and he would be his soul on it if it hadn't died stillborn, whatever Chris was planning, it wasn't going to be pleasant.
But… he was wrong, things weren't the same, they were much, much worse. As much as his time with Heero had made him strong enough to admit his own weaknesses, to seek out all of the humanity he had avoided, even as a homeless child, it had made him vulnerable to the harshness he had grown up immersed in. He had spent too much time basking in the warmth of Name's love, too much time re-learning the joys of true friendship, that now he felt completely blindsided by the return of the world of perversion and pain that he had known for so very long. But what really made things different this time around, what really made him want to scream and rave and rip Chris' throat out was that Heero was here, too. Chris had dragged Heero down into Duo's own personal hell, to witness, first hand, just how dirty Duo was. Because he knew the truth, that hearing and seeing were two completely different things. If it had just been him and Chris, maybe he could have handled it, but Heero was here… he shouldn't be here, not even in his nightmares, but he was and, fuck, but that was the most horrible thing he could ever imagine. In that moment of realization, he remembered his dreams, his nightmares, of Wes finding Heero, killing Heero and having those nightmares come true was just… unacceptable. But, even if he was alone, could he really handle this?
He had run away from Wes and in doing so, as a witness, as a crime, himself, he had jeopardized Wes and Chris' operation, all of their operations, and he knew from first hand experience what happened to Wes' `problems'. That was why Chris was here, to take out the problem. They were going to die and that fact, not the possibility of it, but the fact of their deaths, make him tremble, because there was something else that had changed in the months he had been missing from Wes' grasp. For the first time in his entire life… he didn't want to die. In the past, he had yearned for it, prayed for it where he had never prayed for anything before, begged for it, but had lacked the conviction to kill himself, that stupid, hateful spark of hope had never quite let go of him through the years. But now, ironically, his death had finally come for him, had finally found him through the dark, and, dammit, he didn't want to go! He had a family now, people that loved him, people that had taught him how wonderful life could be, that it didn't have to be full of pain and hopelessness, so why now? Why did he have to die when, for the first time in his life, he wanted to see the sun rise in the morning?! But why had Chris dragged Heero into all of this? Didn't he know that, if he so much as gave Heero a bruise, Name would gun him down like a dog? Even if she didn't know who he was, but that wouldn't stop her.
“What do you want?” Duo demanded, amazed that he even had the courage to speak, “How the hell did you find me? I mean, I never though that you two would be so stupid as to come after us like this!”
The months away might have dulled Duo's training enough that he wasn't completely cowed, but it was still deep inside of him, a permanent parasite, and he flinched, realizing his mistake even before Chris knelt down and slapped him across the face.
Heero watched the brute strike his friend in shock. He had no idea what connected the two, but the man, Chris, was treating Duo like a petulant child and Duo was looking at him in a mix of terror and deep seated hatred. His rage boiled, solid, heavy, and hot in his stomach at the slap. The man clearly had the ability to break quite a few bones with a single blow if he wanted to. It was that thought that made him realize that Chris had probably knocked him out with his bare hands. What else could he have used? It hadn't felt like metal, or even wood, and the idea that the man could cause such damage with one punch made him shiver. He could have broken Duo's nose, but the slap was more of a rebuke than him trying to inflict pain. Still, it was so forceful that the move whipped Duo's head to the side and Heero saw the glaring red of blood trickle down Duo's mouth to his neck, staining his white shirt like a blossoming rose. He saw Duo squirm with the pain and the need to wipe the blood away, staring at Chris, not in shock, but in a dull sort of way that spoke of… ritual? Heero fought the need to snarl and thrash. This man, whoever he was, had hit Duo before, had hurt him enough times that Duo was actually… expecting him to do it again, now!
Something cold and hard, like a bunch of sharp ice chips, settled in Heero's gut as he watched, helpless, as the man leaned forward and swiped his tongue along the thin stream of blood at Duo's mouth, the slick muscle sliding into the caught boy's mouth and he kissed him brutally. Duo made an odd noise, not quite a cry, but a noise that told anyone listening that he was in distress, and tried to get away from the hot mouth that was violating him, but he was as far back as he could go and Chris grabbed his neck, keeping him still. The feeling of his familiar mouth and familiar tongue, nipping his lips and exploring his mouth with almost frightening intensity, practically drinking his blood like it was something sweet, was startling. He felt frozen with it, unable to try to thrash and get Chris off of him. Instead, he closed his eyes, wanting to throw up, smelling and tasting something so familiar, yet so unwanted. Knowing that Heero could see it all, could see the man sticking his tongue down his throat, made him want to curl up and die in embarrassment and self-disgust.
Heero thought he was going to vomit as he watched the tall man force himself on his friend. He didn't know what was worse, how terribly distressed and scared Duo looked, the sight of that man kissing Duo, something he had always dreamed about, but in such a dirty, horrible way, or that the man was actually licking up the boy's blood like some sort of deranged… predator… an animal. No, probably the worst was that Duo's legs were free, and even if he couldn't stand, he wasn't trying to kick at the man. He wasn't doing anything, he just looked sick, but… there was an odd comfort to him, too, that was making him feel even more sick than the fact that his secret love was being kissed so brutally. He had watched Duo closely these last few days and he had seen that, through the fun and excitement, Duo wore this constant anxiety, as fitting as a shirt. It was the anxiety of someone who didn't know what to do or what to expect. But this… as horrible as it was… Duo seemed comfortable with it. It sickened the longhaired boy, but for him… it was normal. That thought was terrible for Heero. Duo had told him, again and again, what his other life had been like, but now, he was actually seeing it, he was seeing the doll that Duo had once been, was seeing Duo giving up, bowing under the weight of it. He wanted to hate Duo for it. It was so… nasty and terrible, but all he could remember, in that moment, was the Duo he had comforted in the shower not so long ago, naked and sobbing, telling him about how dirty he was. How could he hate him? No, he didn't hate Duo, he was past such things. But, he hated this man. Oh, yes, he hated him, more than he hated Relena or Noventa, or even the man that had killed his father. He wanted to scream at the sight of that tongue invading Duo's mouth, the sight of those large hands pinning him down…
And then it clicked. He knew what this man wanted. He had known that he wanted to kill them, but that gleam in the man's eyes told him more than he wanted to know, it told him what he was going to do to his friend and… with the knowledge of that… if he had anything left in his stomach, he would have thrown up, right there in the small room. His blood pulsed in him and he felt something slithering in his stomach, but he kept it down, kept it restrained as he tried to hold on to hope with both hands, hoping that the man would just stop, stop touching his best friend like he was some… whore. The word seemed to freeze in his mind. Duo wasn't a whore. He might think that he was, hell, the whole world might think that he was, but he wasn't, not now, not in the past. He wouldn't let this man do that to him! He didn't care if Duo told him he was used to it, or if it had happened a hundred times, he would murder before that happened! He had beaten people, that was sure, but he had always stopped himself, had been unwilling to let his rage escalate to actually ending a life, but that perverted, disgusting look in the man's eyes made him realize that… yes… in this moment, in this room, he had the capacity for cold-blooded murder. Well, he supposed killing the man that was violating your best friend wasn't exactly cold blooded, but he was sure that the damage he wanted to inflict on him was. And it would be what this bastard deserved. If he could read people, and he had to admit he hadn't been any good at it in the past, but Duo had taught him the art of it, then this man had done this before. Not just the kissing, not just the kidnapping or the hitting, but he had… gone all the way… he had… and, hell, he choked on the word, would probably always choke on it… he had raped Duo, maybe others as well, maybe hundreds of times. If nothing else, he would die for that. Heero wouldn't let him walk out of this room without paying for that! Fuck, even if he had to die to see that happen… he couldn't let him get away with it!
When Chris touched him, his thoughts melted away, leaving his head blank and useless, completely incapable of stopping him, but as Duo felt his lips leave his, those thoughts came flooding back in a torrent. He could still taste him. He felt sick and he wished that he could throw up, just so he could get the taste of blood and Chris out of his mouth. Those two things always went hand and hand, Chris and blood, Chris and pain. He tried to grip at the things that were different to keep himself rooted in reality, but it was hard not to slide back into his past, to remember that things were different. If Heero hadn't been there, if he hadn't been able to see and hear him, the greatest and best change in his life, he was sure that he would be going off the deep end. But Heero was here, and he had to stay strong, had to stay sane, for his sake. He couldn't let himself fall apart when Heero needed his help. He flinched as Chris brushed his knuckles over his cheek. Despite his resolve, he almost did lose it then. Chris had never done that before, only Wes had. There was a dark part of him, a part that he had thought he had buried by resolving to not think of Wes, that wanted to yell at Chris that only Wes was allowed to touch him that way. What the hell was wrong with him? Why couldn't he get a hold on his scattered wits? Why was he thinking of Wes that way? Ever since he had kept him in that room, something had broken inside of him. He had thought that it would be like a scab. If he didn't think about it, if he didn't pick at it and just left it alone, it would heal on its own. His nightmares, his… fucked up affection for Wes, his worries, they would just… go away. But now he realized that it had just gotten worse. The things Wes had done to him, telling him that he loved him, those things had stuck with him, and while he was busy ignoring them, they had eaten and eaten at him until they had left a huge, gaping wound in their wake.
“You clean up well, Maxwell,” Chris smirked to himself, stressing Duo's last name like it was a particularly funny joke.
“Don't fucking touch him!” Heero finally snapped, wishing for the hundredth time that he could get free and beat Chris to a pulp. The man threw him an annoyed look and Heero thought, for a scary moment, that Chris was going to come over and hit him, too.
“Shut up, brat,” Chris drawled, “The adults are talking now.”
Heero stared at him incredulously. The man was so condescending towards Duo, but he considered him an adult and Heero a child? Though, Heero supposed, he was like a child in Duo's world. That was what drove home how dangerous this situation was. In Heero's world, they would have been saved already. In his world, he would have known what to do in this situation. Hell, in his world, this never would have happened in the first place. But this wasn't his world, it was Duo's, a world he had taken his first infant steps into and had found it cold, lonely, and terrible. In Duo's world, the most horrible, unimaginable things could happen. In Duo's world, they were all alone.
“What do you want?” Duo asked again, but more carefully this time, his tone more tired than angry and Heero realized that while he was still denying and fighting what was happening to them, Duo had already accepted it. But, he wasn't angry at him, he was just worried. Duo sounded so tired, it reminded Heero of when he had been in the hospital and had confessed to that tiredness, and how Heero had realized that Duo was at the end of his rope. He was in that dark place again, right now, and there was nothing that Heero could say or do to make it better this time, no promises that he could keep. He had already broken all the promises that he had made to his best friend anyway.
“Why did you kidnap Heero, too?” Duo questioned, still trying hard to control his tone and not provoke Chris, but a bit of anger bled through. Chris chuckled and stood, watching Duo with a great deal of interest.
“Did you really think that you could just run away and there would be no consequences? Did you think you could leave your past behind and that would be it, that you could live the perfect life in some ivory tower? You haven't changed, Duo, people like us never change, we just find better rat holes to crawl in until the sun goes down and we scamper back into the night,” Chris knelt down and got in Duo's face, gripping his chin so Duo was forced to look into his eyes which were suddenly furious. Heero could feel every one of his muscles tense, completely on edge.
“What is it that's so special about you?” Chris demanded, “Is it your looks? You certainly are a class-a babe, especially now that you aren't so damn scrawny, there's no denying that,” he licked his lips, “or maybe it's the way you scream when he fucks you, like you can't decide if it hurts or feels good. I have no fucking idea. All I know is, you've done what no one else could, you drove my best friend insane!”
“W-what?” Duo stammered, not quite sure what he was talking about.
“Ever since Wes realized that you had run away, the idiot thought that you were going to come running back to him. Then, a month passed and he started looking for you and went fucking nuts! I've known the man since high school and I'd never seen him so crazed! Then, when he figured out you'd run off with Yuy, he freaked! But all this time, he still believed you would come crawling back to him, like the trained dog you used to be. You're still that dog, but you're not so good at following orders anymore, are you?” Chris grabbed Duo by his bangs and wrenched his head up with a jerk, loving the hiss that Duo made, but not paying attention to Heero's flinch.
“You'll never come back, I realized, not until you get scared of that goody two shoes life you've got now, and I'm not willing to wait around like Wes. I'm not acting like a fucking love-sick bitch and I ain't an optimist,” Chris grounded out. Duo's violet eyes widened at what he was being told. Wes was still holding on to him? He had thought that, after all this time, Wes would have given up on him and gone on to a new whore. What the hell was his game?! Even Heero's presence hadn't made his ex-guardian realize that he was a lost cause? Why?!
 
“I love you.”
 
No, no that couldn't be it! Wes couldn't be in love with him! But… why else would he say that? Had he really driven the man to madness by… by love? Fuck, he wanted to be happy about that. He wanted to scream “Good! I hope the bastard is as miserable as I was every day I was in his so-called `care'! I hope that he chokes to death on his fucking `love'!” He had thought that he would be happy, knowing that Wes was no longer his cool, unflappable self and was in pain, but… he wasn't happy. Wasn't that a kick to the crotch? He wasn't happy about this, he felt… sad. Fuck, he actually felt bad for Wes. But… though he didn't want Wes' love, couldn't cope with that emotion from that man, it was the love that he deserved. Heero sure as hell was never going to love him, but Wes would. He was the only man that could love him… they were just as fucked up as each other. Who was the real monster here, Wes who had done such horrible things to him, or himself, who couldn't even feel good about his tormentor's pain, who actually fucking pitied and felt bad about that pain? Wasn't it supposed to be like in a comic book? Wasn't he supposed to feel good, feel vindicated? He didn't. He just sort of felt… tired. Tired so far down inside that no sleep could reach it.
Wes had known Chris since high school? He hadn't known that. He had lived with Wes for almost a decade, but there was so much about him that he had never known. How could you live with a person for so long, a person that knew you inside and out so completely, there were absolutely no illusions of privacy around him, and find out that you didn't know shit about him as well? Was that what this was about? Was Chris so pissed about Wes that he wanted revenge on his behalf? That wasn't like him. Chris respected Wes, he knew that much. Chris acted like Wes was his fucking hero, but Chris was also sociopathic, cold, and detached enough that he wasn't prone to fits of anger like Wes was. That he would risk himself for something as petty and trivial as revenge was unlikely. But, as confused about all of this as he was, Duo knew one thing: if there was any truth to what Chris was saying, then Wes hadn't been involved in this plan. That was a good thing, wasn't it, for both himself and Heero? He knew that, if he saw Wes here, his very tentative, weak grip on his sanity would fail him and he would completely unravel. If Wes hadn't been involved, he would bet that Chris was acting alone. That didn't give him a ton of hope, but a tiny bit was better than nothing at all. If Wes wasn't here, wasn't going to show himself, and they were indeed going to die, then did that mean that that night, the night that Wes had released him and told him that he loved him like a son, was his last memory of him, the very last time that he had seen him? That thought brought forth an odd, sickening emotion inside of him that he couldn't even begin to decipher.
Heero had no idea what to think. Chris had seemed to forget that he even existed and was completely focused on Duo. Clearly, this trap had been for Duo and he was just an after thought. He didn't know how he could use that to his advantage yet, but he kept it in mind. This Chris knew Duo's Wes, and Duo was well aware of that fact. That alone, above anything else, told Heero that Chris was very dangerous. It also told him that, if he ever got free, he would not be letting the police deal with Chris. He had accepted, in a sort of bitter, unaccepting way, that he might never exact revenge on Wes, but, for now, Chris would have to do. Someone had to pay for Duo, his innocence, his health; mental, emotional, and physical, and his childhood. No matter what, he wasn't leaving this room until Chris was cold and rotting by Heero's hand alone. Of course, he had already decided on that the second Chris had dared to kiss Duo. It was silly, he knew that, with Duo's past, he had probably been kissed before and Heero didn't have the courage to kiss him even if it would be Duo's first kiss, but actually seeing some strange man kissing his crush was different than knowing those things.
“You're a liability, the both of you,” Chris continued, seeming to finally notice Heero and looked over at him, “Eventually, one of you will go to the police,” he glared at Duo, “and don't give me that bullshit that he doesn't know the truth. You might as well have killed him yourself,” he smirked as the color drained out of Duo's face.
“You can't…” Duo gasped out, shocked at the tears that suddenly broke through and poured down his cheeks, “Please, Chris, I'll do anything you want! He doesn't know shit! He's just a guy I'm relying on, if… if you kill him, his mother will destroy you! Just kill me, let him go, he won't cause you any trouble, I promise!” Duo was nearly sobbing as he begged. He knew that it wouldn't do any good, but logic had escaped him once Chris revealed that he was, indeed, going to kill Heero as well. Chris released his bangs and rolled up his pant leg as though he wasn't even paying attention to Duo. The two teenagers watched with wide eyes as the man unsheathed a large, gleaming hunting knife, the type that you would see in combat and horror films, looking like it had been recently sharpened. Heero's stomach lurched and he gave out a small cry as Chris pressed the large knife against Duo's throat, not hard enough to cut, but if Chris flinched, the blade would slice through the boy's flesh like it was butter. Heero didn't dare breathe, swearing at himself for his cry. What if he had startled Chris and the knife had slipped? But did it matter? This was why they were here. Chris was going to kill them and he had chosen Duo to be first. His body shook and he felt like his blood was turning to ice. He couldn't do this… he couldn't just… sit here and watch this bastard slaughter his best friend like some scared, mindless rabbit!
Duo looked at Chris defiantly, angry that he could even buy Heero's freedom. Chris was right. Anything bad that happened to Heero at Chris' hand would be Duo's fault. He had befriended Heero and run the risks. He had put Heero here, had put him in danger. Some `friend' he was. He couldn't even keep Heero safe! He would do anything to get him out of this, let Chris slit his throat wide open, if it would save Heero, it didn't matter! But, the cold, hard fact was that he had nothing to offer Chris for Heero's life. Chris knew that he knew how the world of crime worked. Chris wouldn't let anyone have the opportunity to hold anything over his head, so he wouldn't let him or Heero go. They were going to die, and it was all his fault. He never should have reached out to Heero as long as there were people in his life that could hurt him. He had gotten Heero killed… Heero had to hate him for that. Even if they survived this, their friendship wouldn't. He could feel something beautiful and wonderful shattering inside of him. It was so painful, he wanted to tear his veins out. He wanted to cry… in that moment, realizing what he had done, he rediscovered his desire to die.
Chris studied his prey and smirked at the dark, turbulent look in Duo's eyes. He always was so erotic when he was on the verge of collapse, especially when he was crying. It stirred that primal urge to dominate deep in his gut. He would actually feel bad about killing the kid. He would miss fucking that sweet ass, it was a crime to kill an ass that fine. He would miss holding him down and hearing him cry as he shoved his cock into the boy's delectable heat. He reached around to Duo's back and unhooked his manacles from the chain keeping him anchored to the wall, but kept the manacles on. Duo's entire body stiffened like a board as the knife traveled from his neck to the waist of his jeans.
“What the fuck are you doing?!” Heero snarled like a rabid wolf from across the room. Duo was too frozen by the image of the knife pressed against his midsection and his friend's fury to move or protest. Chris promptly ignored Heero and slowly sliced, downward, through the longhaired boy's jeans. Duo's breath hitched, white noise overwhelming whatever it was that Heero was screaming at Chris, watching and nearly panting as his captor slid his mutilated jeans and boxers down his legs. Duo squeezed his eyes shut, tears trailing down his cheeks. He wanted to tell Heero not to watch, but he couldn't speak. His face was too hot. Heero was going to see him naked… he had seen him that way before, but this was different and, if he hadn't hated Chris before, he certainly hated him now. Heero didn't need to see this…
“Please, don't,” Duo begged, but it was hollow and halfhearted. He had been down this track hundreds of times before and he knew where it ended. This he was used to, this he knew what to expect. Well, with the exception of Heero being here. He didn't know how to deal with that, he didn't want to know how. Why did Chris have to do this to him? He was already murdering him, why did he have to rip his heart to pieces, and his pride, on top of that?
“Sssh,” Chris cooed as Duo started to panic, his heart racing in his chest. He had to get out, he was trapped again… this couldn't happen… not for Heero, anything but that… for a second, in Chris' mocking attempts of comfort, his image blurred with Wes' in Duo's mind.
`Stop crying,' he tried to order himself, but it was useless. He just couldn't stop the endless flow of tears. Chris suddenly shoved him against the wall, pinning him to it with one hand around his throat, his eyes roving over Duo's shapely thighs and the bottom of his white, button-up shirt that polled in the boy's lap, giving him a small bit of modesty. It was his legs that interested him more anyway.
“Don't worry,” Chris soothed, replacing his hand on Duo's throat with his knife again, “You were the best fuck I've ever had and that's saying something,” he chuckled, “Most scream and blubber on, but succumb to it. They break before I have the chance to have any fun,” Chris sighed heavily, “They never tell you that, when you've got a big dick, suddenly you become the boogeyman when sex is concerned. They tell you that size does matter, but that's a lie. Nothing's ever good enough,” he grumbled, “But you were different. You were scared, like all the rest, but you never became a doll, you always fought. Best fucking turn on in the world, like a wild horse that can never be brought to heel. I appreciate that, really, I do. So, I'll make your death quick. I can't promise that it'll be painless. I hate guns, they're so… impersonal, and for you… as Wes' favorite bitch, this should be personal. So, I apologize, but it will hurt. But, at least we can have one last bit of fun before we have to make a mess of things.”
Duo squirmed a little, feeling the cold steel pressed against his neck and Chris' heated stare moving along his body. There was a part of him that struggled to be flattered that someone as sadistic as Chris was willing to give him a quick death, but mostly he felt chilled and offended. There was that word again, `fun'. He wanted to scream that it certainly wasn't fun for him!
“Please let Heero go,” he tried to plead again, “I'll do whatever you want without complaint, just let him go. He doesn't know where we are, he can't lead anything back to you!”
“No, Duo!” Heero snapped, his tone soaked with desperation. Duo whipped his head around to look at him. Heero looked like he was about to snap, a horrible look in his eyes, straining against his bonds like a wild creature, like, if he could only fight hard enough, he could get free and come to Duo's rescue. But Heero couldn't save him this time. So many times, Heero had come in, like a white knight, to save his sorry ass, from the world, and from himself. But Heero couldn't save him this time and he certainly didn't blame him for it. This was his fault, not Heero's besides, he couldn't save Heero, either. He wondered what Heero made of all of this, what it was doing to him, inside where Duo couldn't see. There were so many things that he wanted to say to comfort Heero, but none of them that he wanted Chris to hear, so all he could do was give Heero a sad smile that said he would do anything to get him out of this horror, even kill himself.
The sound of Chris unbuckling and unzipping his slacks gained the two boys' attentions more efficiently than a clap of thunder. Heero looked at the man's impressive member with wide eyes. When Chris had been moaning about his size, Heero had thought that he had been joking or embellishing. He hadn't. The man really was a monster, but no more than the rest of his large form would suggest. Heero wasn't exactly small, either, but in other circumstances, he would have had the typical male response and had felt self-conscious about it, but all he could think was: he's going to put that thing inside Duo. His stomach churned and he felt this sudden urge to scream or claw at his skin. He was helpless. He couldn't do anything! He couldn't protect Duo… when it counted the very most, he couldn't save his best friend. His breath caught in his throat and he found that it was hard to breathe. He watched as Chris gripped Duo's thigh and pushed his leg against Duo's stomach, shoving his other leg with his knee, keeping them spread wide. His large finger dug into Duo's creamy skin and Heero knew that the longhaired boy would have deep, painful bruises there. They were trapped, there was no reason for him to use brute force like that! Of course, the bastard had them up against a corner. He could do with them whatever he wanted and there was absolutely no reason for him to be gentle, either. Duo was looking at Chris' penis with an equal amount of fear, but his expression was missing Heero's shock and disbelief. It was that… terror, but acceptance, that drove home to Heero that, this time around, nothing was going to stop what was going to happen. It was that fear that turned his anguish and hopelessness into fury.
“I'm going to kill you!” he screamed, “Do you hear me?! If you hurt him, I'll fucking kill you!”
The only indication that Chris made that he had heard Heero was a slight smirk. The, almost in an act of defiance, he pushed at duo's thigh more, shifting his body enough that he could see the pale curves of Duo's ass. Duo started to shake as Chris pulled him into his lap and he felt the heavy, fat head of his cock slide in between his cheeks and press against his entrance. He met Chris' stare, not realizing how badly he was shaking or how pale and washed out he looked.
“Chris, please don't-,” he started to plead, but his words ended in a piercing scream as Chris placed his free hand on Duo's hip, keeping him steady as he shoved up and forward. He didn't even get the chance to scream at Heero not to look, or think that screaming out loud like that was damn humiliating.
Even as Heero thought that he definitely didn't want to watch, wanted to deny how helpless he was, that Duo wasn't being raped in front of his eyes, he couldn't look away. He saw Chris' massive cock go inside Duo, heard Duo's heartbreaking scream of pain and humiliation, and his vision went red. He didn't know if it was because of shock or rage or if it was simply because of the rivers of blood dripping down Chris' length as it ripped through the longhaired boy… Duo's blood. In the colorless room, it was brilliant and shocking at the same time, pooling on the wood floor. Duo's body spasmed as he cried out, his senses narrowing down to agony and the feeling of Chris' cock, hot and wet, pulsing inside of his body, sheathed up to the base. Everything was white hot in his pain. Even collapsing on his rapist's hard body gave him no support. He felt like a rag doll under Chris' stronger body. It had been months since he had had sex, the longest since he had lost his virginity, and his anal muscles, like any muscle, had fallen to disuse, something that he had never thought that he would complain about. Chris made it hurt on a normal day, but now… he felt like he was dying. He heard a keening wail fall out of his throat, past his tongue and squeezed his eyes closed, trying to roll with the pain as he had done so many times in the past. He could feel his own blood rushing out of him, and the sensation of tearing was haunting. He had enough sense to realize that he was going into shock. He could still feel the knife at his throat and suddenly wished that Chris' hand wasn't still holding him still so he could lean forward and end it all. Did that count as suicide? He could hear Chris already starting to pant in his ear, but he thankfully staid still. If he moved right now, Duo was sure that he would go mad, he was already struggling with it.
Heero couldn't watch anymore. He felt like all of his thoughts, his wits, were pulling apart as though there was a strong wind blowing in his mind. He couldn't do this… he couldn't watch that… animal mate and hurt and violate Duo, who was so bright and beautiful. He couldn't understand how Duo could have survived something so terrible, not just once, but hundreds of times. Turning his head and closing his eyes did nothing to lessen the things that he was feeling right now, as his friend was being raped mere feet from him, because Duo was being raped, and no denial of his senses was going to change that fact. Besides, he could hear them, he could hear Chris' labored pants and Duo's small, pained sobs and the subtle dripping of wet blood on to the hard floor. This was what hell, what madness, sounded like. He had heard about the `smell' of sex, and realized that he could definitely smell it, thick and nasty, but mixed with the heavy smell of blood, it smelled even more primal and terrifying.
Chris finally seemed to get used to Duo's tightness and drew out, only to slam back into his snug heat in one fluid, brutal motion. Pain flared in Duo's lower back, his muscles taut at the feeling of the green-eyed man's impressive girth invading his body, and he felt tears trail down his cheeks. He realized that he wasn't crying because of the terrible pain, he was crying over the humiliation of the rediscovery of his fate, his fate to never be strong or clean, to relive the same traumas over and over again. The man's thrusts were hard and violent and it made the pain worse and worse, the force of them slamming his back against the wall. He dimly realized that there was something very wrong. Chris was fucking him a bit too easily, the amount of blood he was bleeding out down there lubricating the both of them. His stomach hurt, along with his ass and back and he knew his body well enough to know that Chris had damaged something, but he also knew Chris well enough that it wouldn't matter as soon as he was finished. It was maddening, though, the repetitious movement and pain and hot blood and pre-cum between them from the older man's animalistic need, all of it making him feel very, very sick and scattered, on the verge of collapse. He knew, at that exact moment, feeling Chris' weight and lust in every tiny movement, that this was what hell would be like, if such a thing existed; the pain and humiliation of rape, and the knowledge that his weakness was betraying the best friend he had ever had. If he was a real friend, he would use Chris' lust against him and try to make a go for the knife, but it hurt so badly to move, to just breathe, and all he could feel and think about was the grey that filled his vision and thoughts.
“Don't fucking look away!” Heero and Duo heard Chris snap, his voice heavy with the pleasure he was stealing from Duo and the two of them promptly opened their eyes. Heero opened his just in time to see Chris slam Duo into the wall, looming over him now, and increase his pace with a low, guttural moan. Duo gasped at the change, his throat no longer able to withstand a scream. As he fucked Duo harder, Chris looked over at Heero with annoyance, then smirked triumphantly at the shocked look that had consumed the Japanese boy's face. He let go of Duo's hip, a black bruise already forming there in the shape of his fingers and brushed his knuckles against Duo's flushed, sweaty cheek, moving wisps of hair that had escaped his braid to fall over his face behind his ear, the wisps of hair giving Duo a beautiful, elfin look that Chris found especially erotic.
“Doesn't he look beautiful like this?” Chris chuckled as he continued thrusting into Duo's heat that was almost magnetic for his cock, which wanted to wring out more and more sensations, “Sex is the most powerful method of control. It can make the strongest of men bend to your will. It can make a weepy child still and cowed. It can even make someone as willful as Duo actually look at men like me with respect. He follows our orders, because we can control him so easily,” Chris nearly grinned as he watched Duo's expression, his face pinched in pain. The, Chris looked over at Heero again with that same look or irritation. He dug his blade into the middle of Duo's throat and, very slowly, cut downwards, in a diagonal slash.
“No!” Heero screamed, thrashing in his bonds. He could feel the metal cutting open his skin, wetting it with his blood, but he relished in the pain as a small punishment for his failure to help Duo, to make the monster that was hurting him go away. Blood trialed down Duo's pale neck, blossoming and spreading on his white shirt like roses until the shoulder and part of the front looked soaked in it.
“Stop it! Stop it, goddamn it, why can't you just stop?! Leave him alone!” Heero cried, feeling a terrible rage fill him, realizing that Chris was even more excited, more aroused, by Duo's blood and how Duo flinched as he had cut him.
 
 
Blood. He could smell it, thick and coppery. The blade was cold against him, like a shard of ice. He was taking his time. Why?
`Just kill me,' he thought, lying there amongst the garbage and listening to people laughing and chattering nearby, `kill me… kill me… kill me…' he begged as tears slowly went down his face.
 
 
Duo gasped through the memory, his throat stinging and burning, but he knew that the cut wasn't deep enough to kill him. Chris had cut him out of amusement, nothing more, because he could, and because Heero's trying to not watch had pissed him off.
“I suggest that you watch, Mr. Yuy,” Chris drawled in irritation, “or I'll make his death very, very slow and very painful. Maybe, if I fuck him with this knife instead of my cock, we will be more interesting to you?” he asked in a teasing tone that suggested he was actually considering doing it. The thought gave Heero and Duo twin shudders.
“Please!” Heero sobbed, incapable of closing his eyes, now that that possible image was permanently burned into his mind. His cobalt eyes met with Duo's violet and, underneath the pain and shame, he saw a plea, the same plea Duo had voiced in the hospital, but now it was buried, subconscious, and tangled with a hundred other things, yet it was still clear to Heero.
 
 
Don't leave me alone.
 
 
`Never, not until my dying breath.'
 
End Part 8
 
Sigh. Told ya this chapter was long, not quite as long as Chapter 6, but it will be, unfortunately. This is all I have for the Road to Kindness for right now to post, but check my livejournal `thegrackelknows' for even more. The same applies for `The Frog Prince', which I also will be posting tonight.
 
I truly am looking for a beta, especially for this fic, even if my beta can only adjust my paragraphs I would be eternally grateful.
 
As usual, to those who review, thank you so much! It's nice to see this fic progressing, but it's the notes that I don't suck that really prod me along.