Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ Until My Dying Day ❯ Truth ( Chapter 7 )
[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]
By: KentraShinataku02 
Anime/Manga: Gundam Wing Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Angst / Romance | Type: Continuation | Uploaded On: 02.10.2003 | Pages: 2 | Words: 2.2K | Visits: 207 | Status: Work In Progress
Anime/Manga: Gundam Wing Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Angst / Romance | Type: Continuation | Uploaded On: 02.10.2003 | Pages: 2 | Words: 2.2K | Visits: 207 | Status: Work In Progress
Until My Dying Day
Part Seven: Truth
Duo awoke to a pair of cold blue eyes raining down upon his face, a shocking change to the black eyes that had been greeting him as of late.
"How are you holding up?" Heero asked, seeming to effortlessly choke down a sound of concern.
"Well, hello Heero, glad you could join the festivities," Duo said with a smirk.
"I don't find this funny," he replied flatly, then turned his head toward the doorway, "Quatre."
Momentarily, the small blonde figure bustled into the room, eyes brimming with concerned fear.
"Duo... I'm glad you've pulled through. Sorry it took us a few days to get here; Wufei's communications didn't get through."
"Don't worry about it, you didn't have to waste your time. 'Fei here has been taking good care of me," he said, sleep still cluttering his voice. Wufei rolled his eyes at Duo's nickname for him from his position against the doorjamb.
"Well, sorry guys, but I'm going to have to disappoint you," he grinned, his familiar mask sheltering him from the others, "but I'm going to need a hand getting out of this bed to go to the bathroom."
He roughly clambered from the hospital bed, greatly helped over the bars by Quatre, and wandered through the bathroom door. He hopped up onto the counter and began to fumble with a hairpin that was intertwined with the tail of his braid.
+
"So how is he really doing?" Heero asked, turning to Wufei.
"Not so well. He refused to talk to the psychiatrist, not that I doubted that, but they say he has to keep seeing him. They also recommended me to counseling," he rolled his eyes, "they think that I'll hurt myself just because he did."
"Has he talked to you at all?" Quatre asked hopefully.
"No. But he hasn't been hiding from me either."
Heero raised an eyebrow, "Hiding?"
"Well, he hasn't been hiding behind his pretense happiness, like how he was acting a few minutes ago. I suspect he may even open up to me, if I ask him." Wufei said, giving a hopeful nod towards the bathroom door. Heero nodded.
"Good. Keep giving him the chance."
"I'm planning on it."
"Have you gotten him to eat more?" Quatre asked sadly, "he still looks too skinny."
"No," Wufei shook his head, "on the contrary, he's refusing food."
"You would think in a hospital they would make sure the patients eat," Heero remarked.
"They have been trying. His first night he threw the tray against the wall. I wasn't in when they brought his meal yesterday, but when I returned, it was in the garbage," Wufei softened his voice, "I don't know what to do."
"Just keep trying," Quatre encouraged strongly, laying a pale hand on Wufei's shoulder, "That's all you can do. It's you he'll trust. I know it."
"I know.... I know. You're right." Wufei looked hopeless and a bit defeated.
"Right, me and Quatre have things to finish up. We'll see you at the safehouse if you come home tonight," Heero said tonelessly.
"Yes, we'll see you then, good luck," Quatre said with a small nod towards the bathroom. Wufei nodded as the other two left the bright room, isolating him with own thoughts.
+
Duo retrieved a hairpin from the tail of his braid. He was relieved that he had replaced it after the last shower he had taken. He could clearly hear the lowered voices from the opposite face of the door, the voices that were distinctly speaking of him. Shit. He had made them worry. Maybe thats what he had wanted, deep down. But he had had better reasons than that. He knew they didn't care about him. He knew. But somehow now, they were worried. And it made him hate himself more. He chewed off the plastic on the end of the hairpin with his teeth and spit it into the trashcan that contained the previous night's meal. Duo carefully pulled back the tape on his bandages and opened them up. The bigger slices were held together by stitches, mostly the ones higher on his arms. The ones that were on the vulnerable areas of his wrist were smaller, done in more rigid, violent slashes. That had been his mistake; he hadn't cut deep enough were it counted. He scowled at himself, disgusted at his stupidity. What kind of idiot killed himself wrong?
Before he could stop himself, the sharp end of the hairpin was driven into one of the smaller slits, tearing open the sealed scab. Blood protruded immediately, slowly seeping from the interior edges of the slice. He ripped the pin through the rest of the wound violently, shedding the scab that had kept in the blood. Duo quickly moved his bandages away from the crying slit; if bleeding increased that quickly on its own, the doctors would be more than suspicious.
He began to tear into cut after cut, needing to feel the pain that caused crimson tears to fall from his skin. Suddenly realizing the outside voices had ceased, he knew he needed to hurry; Wufei would question him anyway, but if avoidable Duo didn't enjoy being assaulted with unanswerable questions. With facet running and paper towels in hand, he attempted to slow the bleeding.
+
//What's going on with me?// Wufei wondered to himself as he sat on the mauve chair by Duo's bed. He didn't understand why he felt this tie to Duo, this closeness. It frightened him. It terrified him more so with the realization that Duo felt that same sort of closeness towards him. With Wufei around, Duo hadn't been pretending to be happy. He obviously felt that he didn't need to. But the moment he saw Heero's face, he masked his fear and sadness again, like he didn't trust them. Why would he appear so vulnerable in front of Wufei, who was usually over critical of him, and even nasty to him? It was as if Duo had somehow suddenly began trusting him, even considering him a friend and not just a comrade. And Wufei felt the same way for him, but what terrified him the most was that he hadn't felt entirely comfortable with the other pilots in the room. He even felt a tinge of jealousy.
The bathroom door clicked open, revealing a pale unsheltered Duo, allowing Wufei to wonder if the other had also felt a little uncomfortable around Heero and Quatre.
"What's wrong, Duo?" he asked, struggling not to allow too much concern to flow from his lips.
"Nothing," he dismissed with a wave of his hand.
"You don't need to lie," Wufei slipped through his lips softly.
Duo didn't trust his voice, partially due to the fact that his lips would misguide his words into a strangled confession. His eyes met the cool, silk ebony gaze that had fallen upon his face, and released something that had been pleading for liberty; a tear.
"Duo..." Wufei whispered. Suddenly, Duo was aware of two strong arms around him, holding him in a tight ring to a silk clothed body. He was unaware of what was happening, unsure if this was real or just another dream. The embrace was like that of an angels wings, curling around his weakened form like a strong outer shell, holding him together since he couldn't seem to contain himself. Duo leaned his entire figure into the form of the other, his head buried in Wufei's shoulder. His eyes finally relented to the tears that had strained his vision as his limbs began to shake, giving way to the pain that was pinning him down. It was too much; he couldn't contain himself any longer. He clutched his arms around Wufei's back, holding himself upright as the salty tears brimmed from his eyelids.
"It's alright, Duo. Let yourself cry, it is alright," Wufei whispered, "You don't have to pretend anymore."
At his words, Duo pulled back from the embrace, his face frozen in fear as he wiped his cheeks with his forearm. Oh god, why did he let Wufei see him this way? Of course Wufei knew about his false mask, of course he could see it was just an act. But to sink so low in front of him....
//He must think I'm the weakest person alive.//
He stood numbly staring at Wufei as the other looked at him quizzically, as if deciding what he had done wrong.
"Duo, what's--?" Wufei was cut off as he began moving closer the chestnut haired boy.
"No!" Duo yelled as an outstretched hand moved even nearer to him, "please, no..." He jolted backwards and pressed his body firmly against the wall, avoiding the touch that he had ached for for so long. This wasn't how it was supposed to be, Wufei wasn't just supposed to sympathize for him. He couldn't bear the sensation of that tantalizing touch, knowing it was only given out of pity. He wanted Wufei to care about him genuinely, from his heart.
"Du-" he began, but a voice cut his words short before they were brought to life.
"Mr. Chang, I'm going to have to ask that you retreat to the lobby immediately. Duo does not need somebody to add to his stress." came the stern voice of the blonde nurse.
"I am not causing him stress," he shot back harshly.
"Mr. Chang, an unwelcome emotional attack is definitely classified as causing stress, now get out of this room!" She pointed a shaking finger towards the doorway.
Looking defeated, he walked past the nurse and into the hallway fists clenches. He vaguely registered the sound of the nurse's voice, attempting to soothe Duo.
+
Wufei's head rested on his arm which was draped over a retracted leg, never before feeling as alone as he did in the over cheery waiting room. There was an empty pop can dangling from his fingers, an occasional drop snaking its way through the mouth. He didn't understand; what had he done wrong to make Duo react that way? He had only tried to console him, and is had seemed that he didn't mind. Until Wufei attempted to verbally comfort him. What had he said?
~/You don't have to pretend anymore./~
"Duo doesn't want to admit that it's just an act," Wufei whispered to the empty silence around him, "is he worried what I will think? He doesn't have to hide from me!"
Wufei was angry at the fact that he couldn't get Duo to open up. Nothing would get better if he kept hiding behind that stupid mask of his. Wufei clenched his fist around the can, crushing it roughly and letting it fall to the floor. With determination, he stood and briskly strode back down the hospital hallway. Nearing Duo's room, he slowed his pace a bit, wondering what would be done on behalf of his return. He peered around the doorway, only to find that the nurse was still there. Didn't she have more patients to look after? She appeared not to notice anything, too involved with making a vivid show of herself to Duo, until Wufei blatantly cleared his throat, drawing her attention to the poised form in the doorway. She frowned.
"Mr. Chang, I believe you were asked to remain in the waiting room."
"And I belive that what you are doing is more of an emotional attack then what I have inflicted upon him," he returned icily, though calmly. Duo stared with confusion at the situation, black fire alight in the eyes of the Chinese boy. Why was Wufei defending him?
"I wouldn't make an attack on any patient of mine!" she returned.
"Then take care of your other patients instead of audaciously flirting with vulnerable men!" he snapped with malice, "If you think that you can come in here and play with the hearts of people that have gone through more than you will ever know, you are very truly mistaken."
Then Duo understood. //He's jealous....//
The nurse was taken aback by the outburst of the usually reserved boy. A doctor appeared in the doorway.
"Shella, what is going on in here?"
Before the nurse could reply, Wufei intervened.
"I request that this nurse is removed from the responsibilities of this patient and a different nurse put under the duty of providing his care."
The doctor looked from Wufei to the nurse, and then to an apprehensive looking Duo, and then nodded.
"I'll see what I can do, come with me. And you too, Shella. We're going to have to speak to people of higher power than I."
Wufei gave Duo a reassuring nod before following the doctor from the room. On his way past the nurse's station, he stopped at the desk and retracted a plastic bag of pills from his pocket.
"Excuse me, he said handing the bag to a woman behind the counter, "these are requested property of the patient in 1668d, please see that they are delivered into the proper hands."
The women smiled and nodded, as Wufei turned and fell in step behind the doctor that was leading down the hallway.
Part Seven: Truth
Duo awoke to a pair of cold blue eyes raining down upon his face, a shocking change to the black eyes that had been greeting him as of late.
"How are you holding up?" Heero asked, seeming to effortlessly choke down a sound of concern.
"Well, hello Heero, glad you could join the festivities," Duo said with a smirk.
"I don't find this funny," he replied flatly, then turned his head toward the doorway, "Quatre."
Momentarily, the small blonde figure bustled into the room, eyes brimming with concerned fear.
"Duo... I'm glad you've pulled through. Sorry it took us a few days to get here; Wufei's communications didn't get through."
"Don't worry about it, you didn't have to waste your time. 'Fei here has been taking good care of me," he said, sleep still cluttering his voice. Wufei rolled his eyes at Duo's nickname for him from his position against the doorjamb.
"Well, sorry guys, but I'm going to have to disappoint you," he grinned, his familiar mask sheltering him from the others, "but I'm going to need a hand getting out of this bed to go to the bathroom."
He roughly clambered from the hospital bed, greatly helped over the bars by Quatre, and wandered through the bathroom door. He hopped up onto the counter and began to fumble with a hairpin that was intertwined with the tail of his braid.
+
"So how is he really doing?" Heero asked, turning to Wufei.
"Not so well. He refused to talk to the psychiatrist, not that I doubted that, but they say he has to keep seeing him. They also recommended me to counseling," he rolled his eyes, "they think that I'll hurt myself just because he did."
"Has he talked to you at all?" Quatre asked hopefully.
"No. But he hasn't been hiding from me either."
Heero raised an eyebrow, "Hiding?"
"Well, he hasn't been hiding behind his pretense happiness, like how he was acting a few minutes ago. I suspect he may even open up to me, if I ask him." Wufei said, giving a hopeful nod towards the bathroom door. Heero nodded.
"Good. Keep giving him the chance."
"I'm planning on it."
"Have you gotten him to eat more?" Quatre asked sadly, "he still looks too skinny."
"No," Wufei shook his head, "on the contrary, he's refusing food."
"You would think in a hospital they would make sure the patients eat," Heero remarked.
"They have been trying. His first night he threw the tray against the wall. I wasn't in when they brought his meal yesterday, but when I returned, it was in the garbage," Wufei softened his voice, "I don't know what to do."
"Just keep trying," Quatre encouraged strongly, laying a pale hand on Wufei's shoulder, "That's all you can do. It's you he'll trust. I know it."
"I know.... I know. You're right." Wufei looked hopeless and a bit defeated.
"Right, me and Quatre have things to finish up. We'll see you at the safehouse if you come home tonight," Heero said tonelessly.
"Yes, we'll see you then, good luck," Quatre said with a small nod towards the bathroom. Wufei nodded as the other two left the bright room, isolating him with own thoughts.
+
Duo retrieved a hairpin from the tail of his braid. He was relieved that he had replaced it after the last shower he had taken. He could clearly hear the lowered voices from the opposite face of the door, the voices that were distinctly speaking of him. Shit. He had made them worry. Maybe thats what he had wanted, deep down. But he had had better reasons than that. He knew they didn't care about him. He knew. But somehow now, they were worried. And it made him hate himself more. He chewed off the plastic on the end of the hairpin with his teeth and spit it into the trashcan that contained the previous night's meal. Duo carefully pulled back the tape on his bandages and opened them up. The bigger slices were held together by stitches, mostly the ones higher on his arms. The ones that were on the vulnerable areas of his wrist were smaller, done in more rigid, violent slashes. That had been his mistake; he hadn't cut deep enough were it counted. He scowled at himself, disgusted at his stupidity. What kind of idiot killed himself wrong?
Before he could stop himself, the sharp end of the hairpin was driven into one of the smaller slits, tearing open the sealed scab. Blood protruded immediately, slowly seeping from the interior edges of the slice. He ripped the pin through the rest of the wound violently, shedding the scab that had kept in the blood. Duo quickly moved his bandages away from the crying slit; if bleeding increased that quickly on its own, the doctors would be more than suspicious.
He began to tear into cut after cut, needing to feel the pain that caused crimson tears to fall from his skin. Suddenly realizing the outside voices had ceased, he knew he needed to hurry; Wufei would question him anyway, but if avoidable Duo didn't enjoy being assaulted with unanswerable questions. With facet running and paper towels in hand, he attempted to slow the bleeding.
+
//What's going on with me?// Wufei wondered to himself as he sat on the mauve chair by Duo's bed. He didn't understand why he felt this tie to Duo, this closeness. It frightened him. It terrified him more so with the realization that Duo felt that same sort of closeness towards him. With Wufei around, Duo hadn't been pretending to be happy. He obviously felt that he didn't need to. But the moment he saw Heero's face, he masked his fear and sadness again, like he didn't trust them. Why would he appear so vulnerable in front of Wufei, who was usually over critical of him, and even nasty to him? It was as if Duo had somehow suddenly began trusting him, even considering him a friend and not just a comrade. And Wufei felt the same way for him, but what terrified him the most was that he hadn't felt entirely comfortable with the other pilots in the room. He even felt a tinge of jealousy.
The bathroom door clicked open, revealing a pale unsheltered Duo, allowing Wufei to wonder if the other had also felt a little uncomfortable around Heero and Quatre.
"What's wrong, Duo?" he asked, struggling not to allow too much concern to flow from his lips.
"Nothing," he dismissed with a wave of his hand.
"You don't need to lie," Wufei slipped through his lips softly.
Duo didn't trust his voice, partially due to the fact that his lips would misguide his words into a strangled confession. His eyes met the cool, silk ebony gaze that had fallen upon his face, and released something that had been pleading for liberty; a tear.
"Duo..." Wufei whispered. Suddenly, Duo was aware of two strong arms around him, holding him in a tight ring to a silk clothed body. He was unaware of what was happening, unsure if this was real or just another dream. The embrace was like that of an angels wings, curling around his weakened form like a strong outer shell, holding him together since he couldn't seem to contain himself. Duo leaned his entire figure into the form of the other, his head buried in Wufei's shoulder. His eyes finally relented to the tears that had strained his vision as his limbs began to shake, giving way to the pain that was pinning him down. It was too much; he couldn't contain himself any longer. He clutched his arms around Wufei's back, holding himself upright as the salty tears brimmed from his eyelids.
"It's alright, Duo. Let yourself cry, it is alright," Wufei whispered, "You don't have to pretend anymore."
At his words, Duo pulled back from the embrace, his face frozen in fear as he wiped his cheeks with his forearm. Oh god, why did he let Wufei see him this way? Of course Wufei knew about his false mask, of course he could see it was just an act. But to sink so low in front of him....
//He must think I'm the weakest person alive.//
He stood numbly staring at Wufei as the other looked at him quizzically, as if deciding what he had done wrong.
"Duo, what's--?" Wufei was cut off as he began moving closer the chestnut haired boy.
"No!" Duo yelled as an outstretched hand moved even nearer to him, "please, no..." He jolted backwards and pressed his body firmly against the wall, avoiding the touch that he had ached for for so long. This wasn't how it was supposed to be, Wufei wasn't just supposed to sympathize for him. He couldn't bear the sensation of that tantalizing touch, knowing it was only given out of pity. He wanted Wufei to care about him genuinely, from his heart.
"Du-" he began, but a voice cut his words short before they were brought to life.
"Mr. Chang, I'm going to have to ask that you retreat to the lobby immediately. Duo does not need somebody to add to his stress." came the stern voice of the blonde nurse.
"I am not causing him stress," he shot back harshly.
"Mr. Chang, an unwelcome emotional attack is definitely classified as causing stress, now get out of this room!" She pointed a shaking finger towards the doorway.
Looking defeated, he walked past the nurse and into the hallway fists clenches. He vaguely registered the sound of the nurse's voice, attempting to soothe Duo.
+
Wufei's head rested on his arm which was draped over a retracted leg, never before feeling as alone as he did in the over cheery waiting room. There was an empty pop can dangling from his fingers, an occasional drop snaking its way through the mouth. He didn't understand; what had he done wrong to make Duo react that way? He had only tried to console him, and is had seemed that he didn't mind. Until Wufei attempted to verbally comfort him. What had he said?
~/You don't have to pretend anymore./~
"Duo doesn't want to admit that it's just an act," Wufei whispered to the empty silence around him, "is he worried what I will think? He doesn't have to hide from me!"
Wufei was angry at the fact that he couldn't get Duo to open up. Nothing would get better if he kept hiding behind that stupid mask of his. Wufei clenched his fist around the can, crushing it roughly and letting it fall to the floor. With determination, he stood and briskly strode back down the hospital hallway. Nearing Duo's room, he slowed his pace a bit, wondering what would be done on behalf of his return. He peered around the doorway, only to find that the nurse was still there. Didn't she have more patients to look after? She appeared not to notice anything, too involved with making a vivid show of herself to Duo, until Wufei blatantly cleared his throat, drawing her attention to the poised form in the doorway. She frowned.
"Mr. Chang, I believe you were asked to remain in the waiting room."
"And I belive that what you are doing is more of an emotional attack then what I have inflicted upon him," he returned icily, though calmly. Duo stared with confusion at the situation, black fire alight in the eyes of the Chinese boy. Why was Wufei defending him?
"I wouldn't make an attack on any patient of mine!" she returned.
"Then take care of your other patients instead of audaciously flirting with vulnerable men!" he snapped with malice, "If you think that you can come in here and play with the hearts of people that have gone through more than you will ever know, you are very truly mistaken."
Then Duo understood. //He's jealous....//
The nurse was taken aback by the outburst of the usually reserved boy. A doctor appeared in the doorway.
"Shella, what is going on in here?"
Before the nurse could reply, Wufei intervened.
"I request that this nurse is removed from the responsibilities of this patient and a different nurse put under the duty of providing his care."
The doctor looked from Wufei to the nurse, and then to an apprehensive looking Duo, and then nodded.
"I'll see what I can do, come with me. And you too, Shella. We're going to have to speak to people of higher power than I."
Wufei gave Duo a reassuring nod before following the doctor from the room. On his way past the nurse's station, he stopped at the desk and retracted a plastic bag of pills from his pocket.
"Excuse me, he said handing the bag to a woman behind the counter, "these are requested property of the patient in 1668d, please see that they are delivered into the proper hands."
The women smiled and nodded, as Wufei turned and fell in step behind the doctor that was leading down the hallway.