Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ Until My Dying Day ❯ Comfort ( Chapter 8 )
[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]
By: KentraShinataku02 
Anime/Manga: Gundam Wing Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Angst / Romance | Type: Continuation | Uploaded On: 03.03.2003 | Pages: 2 | Words: 2.2K | Visits: 199 | Status: Work In Progress
Anime/Manga: Gundam Wing Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Angst / Romance | Type: Continuation | Uploaded On: 03.03.2003 | Pages: 2 | Words: 2.2K | Visits: 199 | Status: Work In Progress
Until My Dying Day
Part Eight: Comfort
Duo eyed Wufei suspiciously as the boy stood in silence, eyes closed, against the wall at the foot of the bed. No words had been spoken between the two today, both having emotional confusion streaming through their hearts. Neither could begin to imagine what the other was thinking, and neither dared to ask.
Duo's eyes studied all of the other boy's features, scanning the way his stature was tired and defeated. Wufei had been doing so much for him lately, so much of it he did needlessly. Especially getting that flirty nurse out of his room. Could Wufei really feel for Duo what Duo felt for him? Duo dismissed the thought; he loved Wufei. Wufei would never love him. He was not capable of receiving anybody's love, even if Wufei had seemed jealous of the nurse... it must have just been a misunderstanding.
//He probably just doesn't want me getting attached to anybody. It's not like I could just have her for a cozy night at the safe house.//
Duo smiled at the image that the last thought had conjured; Quatre pouring a tea tray in the kitchen for the guest as Duo nonchalantly welcomed Shella to the humble abode of the Gundam pilots. Most amusing thought Duo had in quite a while; in fact a small laugh escaped his lips.
Wufei's eyes fluttered open at the quiet laughter. What could Duo be laughing at?
"What's funny?" Wufei asked with a puzzled expression.
"Nothing, just thinking," Duo said, smiling to Wufei.
"About what?" he asked, wanting to learn of this sudden source of amusement.
Duo shrugged, "What were _you_ thinking about, then, if you're so curious?"
"Do you really care what I'm thinking about?" Wufei smirked.
"Of course I do," Duo said, suddenly serious, looking directly into Wufei's eyes. Wufei wasn't expecting such a comment from Duo, he figured the boy would throw back a sarcastic remark, or just shrug it off all together. He chewed thoughtfully on his bottom lip, wondering if Duo could see through the, what now felt transparent, shield that he had created for himself. He wasn't sure, himself, about his feelings; he wasn't going to pull Duo into his uncertainty. Duo had enough to deal with right now.
"Hey 'Fei, you gonna tell me or not?" a grinning Duo asked, slicing through his thoughts. Wufei looked at Duo's face... was that a _real_ smile there?
"Perhaps," he said, his own smile curving on his lips, "Since you want to know... I was thinking about you. I was thinking about how I could help."
"That's nice of you, 'Fei, but I don't think _anybody_ can help me," he said, still smiling.
//Shit. That wasn't a real smile, that was his damn mask again.//
"Or maybe you just won't let them," Wufei said softly. Duo just shrugged.
"Or maybe I just can't trust anybody," he replied bitterly, yet his smile was eerily fixed in place. Creepy, how that pretense was so determined, so convincing. What had happened to the unmasked mystery that had been steadily coming out from his shell? Had Wufei frightened him away with his forward attitude towards Shella?
"You can't trust me?" Wufei mustered the nerve to ask.
//If only you know, you are the _only_ one I trust, Wufei.//
"If there's one thing I've learned in my life, Wu, it's never trust anyone but yourself."
"But you don't even trust yourself," Wufei said coolly. Duo's face tightened as the smile shrunk, yet lingered in the crevices of his lips.
//What a ridiculous burden he forces upon himself, and so needlessly...// Wufei thought to himself.
"Whatever you think you know about me, just forget it. Forget it. I don't need anyone," Duo said loudly. Wufei only nodded; he didn't want to push too much. Duo needed to calm his nerves and a reason to quit thinking that everyone was out to hurt him. If he wasn't going to open up, he wouldn't push him... yet. He knew that every day the weights bore down harder on Duo's shoulders; there was only so long until he crumbled. But for now he was holding himself up, and Wufei could allow him a little more time to shift his weights.
Duo stared as the Chinese pilot easily backed off, giving his heart a little more space to breathe. Did Wufei understand? Whenever Wufei was near, his heart was pounding to break free, desperately trying to fly from his chest and reveal every secret. But how could he reveal secrets that he couldn't even admit to himself? No, he could never understand. If Duo shared his soul, he would be treated like a child, he would be treated as if he were weak.
Dr. Sheno appeared in the doorway, cutting through Duo's thoughts with a bright, toothy smile.
"You're Chang Wufei, I'm assuming?" he asked, peering at a clipboard. Wufei returned a short nod.
"Great," he flashed a wider smile, "Can I have a few words with you in the hallway?"
"Of course," Wufei said airily and resigned to the hallway, leaving Duo in a confused daze as he glued his eyes to the clock. Seconds trickled into eternity as slow minutes passed, one after another, weeping together into the flowing stream that was called time. The realization finally sunk in that only seven minutes had passed before Wufei reappeared in the room. Duo looked up expectantly.
"What was that about?"
"You're being discharged tomorrow morning," Wufei announced with a smile, as Duo's face lit up in what he _knew_ was genuine happiness.
+
Wufei stood in the center of the blue and grey bedroom, wondering in confusion where to start. The doctor had told him to make sure that every shred of evidence from the incident was removed so as not to throw Duo into a state of rage, fear, shock, or a mixture of all three. He stared at the haunting images that he had surveyed over and over, while in the room and out. The mirror, the blood, the sheets, it all whirled around him, stabbing his heart with pain. The pain in the room was unbearable, focusing in on him and tossing him into an oblivious fear. A shiver trickled down Wufei's spine, causing his entire body to relent to the shudder.
He kneeled down to the floor and began collecting broken shards of the mirror into his palm, noticing for the first time how some had been sharpened against each other, not that it was difficult to tell which pieces had been tools of mutilation. The blood crumbled easily from the glass and fell to the floor as Wufei emitted a sigh. He paused as he caught a glimpse of himself from the pieces. He looked pale and stressed, his hair was out of place, not at all like himself. What had Duo seen in his reflection when he was slicing through his own skin? Did he see a strong soldier, or just a lost and wandering child? Was his reflection somebody he feared, a stranger? He was always running from himself, from the truth. And that is exactly what a reflection shows. Duo wouldn't have been able to tolerate all of the miniature reflections staring up at him, taunting him with their tears, it was just an obstacle to overcome, but he wasn't able to overcome himself. He reacted in the only way that he understood.
//Gods, Duo, but you don't understand at all.//
Wufei stood and emptied glass shards into a garbage bag, and stooped to collect more miniature pieces one small handful at a time until the floor was cleared. He moved towards the small twin bed to remove the torn sheets when a stabbing pain ripped into the sole of his foot. Jerking back immediately, he discovered one last piece of glass, the sharpest of all that he had cleared. His blood dripped from his foot and mingled with the dried blood of Duo's self-inflicted injuries. Not wanting to create a larger mess then he already had to deal with, he tore a strip from the old sheets and wrapped it tightly around the cut.
He winced a bit as he set his foot down on the floor; the cut was deep. Checking the clock, Wufei realized he needed to work faster. Morning would come before he knew it, he only had tonight. Quatre was picking up Duo at 8:30 a.m. and everything had to be spotless for his arrival. He retrieved a rag from the closet and dampened it in the bathroom. Returning to the room, he pressed the wet cloth to the broken remains of the mirror that still stood. Wufei held it in place over Duo's eerie message of "Bye" and watched as lines of red crept slowly into the white purity of the cloth, reminding Wufei that nothing would last forever. He was nearly dazed as he watched in fascination while he continued the procedure. When the crimson stains had all been wiped clean, Wufei stood back to check over his work. He frowned at the image that greeted him. Thought there was no trace of blood, the image was burned so intensely into his mind, seeing each visible streak still in place. And nothing could change the brokenness of the mirror.
Ten minutes later found Wufei fitting his own bedroom mirror in to replace Duo's. Duo didn't need a reminder of what he had done. After he had gotten the new mirror in place, he heaved the broken one and wrestled it into his own bedroom. He knew that the mirror would haunt his dreams for many nights to come.
+
A slamming door brought Wufei's head from the table with a jerk. Quatre had walked into the kitchen, followed by an angry looking Heero and an even angrier Duo. Heero's hand was wrapped around Duo's upper arm to instill cooperation.
"What's going on?" Wufei asked, shaking off sleep to make room for the concern that was entitled to Duo. A half-eaten, browned apple rolled from his fingertips where his hand had fallen when sleep captured him the previous night. Ignoring it, he looked up at Heero while something bubbled under his skin at the way he was touching Duo.
"Go back to sleep," Heero said coldly as he pulled Duo through the door to the living room. Duo tried to pull back, but Heero's grip was too firm. Wufei looked to Quatre for information.
"What's this all about?" he interrogated as Heero's berating voice floated into the kitchen.
"Duo tried... something on the way home," Quatre offered, "Heero wasn't happy. He hit him."
Wufei stood up so quickly that his chair was on the ground. He wouldn't tolerate Heero treating Duo in such a way. He flung the kitchen door open to discover Heero gripping the neck of the braided pilot's shirt to hold him on his feet and an angry fear in Duo's sapphire eyes. Before any of the three boys knew what was happening, Duo was pulled free and Heero had a quickly reddening bruise on his cheek. Tension weighed impossibly heavy over the room in a deadly silence. Wufei wrapped his arms protectively around Duo's shoulders and looked straight into Heero's steel eyes.
"Leave Duo alone," he warned sternly, startled by his own words and actions. Heero narrowed his eyes as he stared at the two, yet he nodded as he left the room. Without a word, Wufei ushered Duo up the stairs to his cleaned bedroom. Duo seated himself on the bed and looked around in understanding.
"What did you do?" Wufei asked gently, refusing any sound of accusation from entering his voice. Duo avoided his eyes. Wufei would get mad when he found out... but he would rather tell him himself then leave the duty to Heero.
"I heard that you tried 'something'," Wufei offered Duo the courage to speak.
"I.." Duo started shakily, fearing Wufei's reaction.
"It's alright, Duo," he urged calmly. Duo looked deep into Wufei's velvety onyx eyes, searching for the sign of encouragement that he needed, the urgency in his own sapphire eyes pleading for the care and support and the love that every piece of his dying soul was yearning to reach out and touch. Some sort of silent understanding took place between their gaze and urged Duo's tongue to speak.
"I tried to get out of the car," he admitted slowly, "while it was moving."
Wufei looked at Duo with parted lips, unable to speak, unable to display the emotions that he wanted to share, unable to fold Duo into his arms and hold him close, to comfort him. If only he knew, that was what Duo longed for as well.
"Duo," Wufei said in a voice that didn't sound like his own. Duo flinched at the sound, not knowing whether it was meant to be angry or consoling. Wufei noticed the confusion clouding his eyes and realized the misunderstanding immediately.
"Duo," he repeated, noticeably gentle now. Duo's stiffened form relaxed as Wufei joined him on the bed and curled his strong arms around him.
A/n: Did you like it? I know not a lot happened in this chapter, but please let me know what you think of the story, whether you like it or hate it, I want feedback, positive or negative! I hope you're enjoying it!
~Kentra Shinataku
Part Eight: Comfort
Duo eyed Wufei suspiciously as the boy stood in silence, eyes closed, against the wall at the foot of the bed. No words had been spoken between the two today, both having emotional confusion streaming through their hearts. Neither could begin to imagine what the other was thinking, and neither dared to ask.
Duo's eyes studied all of the other boy's features, scanning the way his stature was tired and defeated. Wufei had been doing so much for him lately, so much of it he did needlessly. Especially getting that flirty nurse out of his room. Could Wufei really feel for Duo what Duo felt for him? Duo dismissed the thought; he loved Wufei. Wufei would never love him. He was not capable of receiving anybody's love, even if Wufei had seemed jealous of the nurse... it must have just been a misunderstanding.
//He probably just doesn't want me getting attached to anybody. It's not like I could just have her for a cozy night at the safe house.//
Duo smiled at the image that the last thought had conjured; Quatre pouring a tea tray in the kitchen for the guest as Duo nonchalantly welcomed Shella to the humble abode of the Gundam pilots. Most amusing thought Duo had in quite a while; in fact a small laugh escaped his lips.
Wufei's eyes fluttered open at the quiet laughter. What could Duo be laughing at?
"What's funny?" Wufei asked with a puzzled expression.
"Nothing, just thinking," Duo said, smiling to Wufei.
"About what?" he asked, wanting to learn of this sudden source of amusement.
Duo shrugged, "What were _you_ thinking about, then, if you're so curious?"
"Do you really care what I'm thinking about?" Wufei smirked.
"Of course I do," Duo said, suddenly serious, looking directly into Wufei's eyes. Wufei wasn't expecting such a comment from Duo, he figured the boy would throw back a sarcastic remark, or just shrug it off all together. He chewed thoughtfully on his bottom lip, wondering if Duo could see through the, what now felt transparent, shield that he had created for himself. He wasn't sure, himself, about his feelings; he wasn't going to pull Duo into his uncertainty. Duo had enough to deal with right now.
"Hey 'Fei, you gonna tell me or not?" a grinning Duo asked, slicing through his thoughts. Wufei looked at Duo's face... was that a _real_ smile there?
"Perhaps," he said, his own smile curving on his lips, "Since you want to know... I was thinking about you. I was thinking about how I could help."
"That's nice of you, 'Fei, but I don't think _anybody_ can help me," he said, still smiling.
//Shit. That wasn't a real smile, that was his damn mask again.//
"Or maybe you just won't let them," Wufei said softly. Duo just shrugged.
"Or maybe I just can't trust anybody," he replied bitterly, yet his smile was eerily fixed in place. Creepy, how that pretense was so determined, so convincing. What had happened to the unmasked mystery that had been steadily coming out from his shell? Had Wufei frightened him away with his forward attitude towards Shella?
"You can't trust me?" Wufei mustered the nerve to ask.
//If only you know, you are the _only_ one I trust, Wufei.//
"If there's one thing I've learned in my life, Wu, it's never trust anyone but yourself."
"But you don't even trust yourself," Wufei said coolly. Duo's face tightened as the smile shrunk, yet lingered in the crevices of his lips.
//What a ridiculous burden he forces upon himself, and so needlessly...// Wufei thought to himself.
"Whatever you think you know about me, just forget it. Forget it. I don't need anyone," Duo said loudly. Wufei only nodded; he didn't want to push too much. Duo needed to calm his nerves and a reason to quit thinking that everyone was out to hurt him. If he wasn't going to open up, he wouldn't push him... yet. He knew that every day the weights bore down harder on Duo's shoulders; there was only so long until he crumbled. But for now he was holding himself up, and Wufei could allow him a little more time to shift his weights.
Duo stared as the Chinese pilot easily backed off, giving his heart a little more space to breathe. Did Wufei understand? Whenever Wufei was near, his heart was pounding to break free, desperately trying to fly from his chest and reveal every secret. But how could he reveal secrets that he couldn't even admit to himself? No, he could never understand. If Duo shared his soul, he would be treated like a child, he would be treated as if he were weak.
Dr. Sheno appeared in the doorway, cutting through Duo's thoughts with a bright, toothy smile.
"You're Chang Wufei, I'm assuming?" he asked, peering at a clipboard. Wufei returned a short nod.
"Great," he flashed a wider smile, "Can I have a few words with you in the hallway?"
"Of course," Wufei said airily and resigned to the hallway, leaving Duo in a confused daze as he glued his eyes to the clock. Seconds trickled into eternity as slow minutes passed, one after another, weeping together into the flowing stream that was called time. The realization finally sunk in that only seven minutes had passed before Wufei reappeared in the room. Duo looked up expectantly.
"What was that about?"
"You're being discharged tomorrow morning," Wufei announced with a smile, as Duo's face lit up in what he _knew_ was genuine happiness.
+
Wufei stood in the center of the blue and grey bedroom, wondering in confusion where to start. The doctor had told him to make sure that every shred of evidence from the incident was removed so as not to throw Duo into a state of rage, fear, shock, or a mixture of all three. He stared at the haunting images that he had surveyed over and over, while in the room and out. The mirror, the blood, the sheets, it all whirled around him, stabbing his heart with pain. The pain in the room was unbearable, focusing in on him and tossing him into an oblivious fear. A shiver trickled down Wufei's spine, causing his entire body to relent to the shudder.
He kneeled down to the floor and began collecting broken shards of the mirror into his palm, noticing for the first time how some had been sharpened against each other, not that it was difficult to tell which pieces had been tools of mutilation. The blood crumbled easily from the glass and fell to the floor as Wufei emitted a sigh. He paused as he caught a glimpse of himself from the pieces. He looked pale and stressed, his hair was out of place, not at all like himself. What had Duo seen in his reflection when he was slicing through his own skin? Did he see a strong soldier, or just a lost and wandering child? Was his reflection somebody he feared, a stranger? He was always running from himself, from the truth. And that is exactly what a reflection shows. Duo wouldn't have been able to tolerate all of the miniature reflections staring up at him, taunting him with their tears, it was just an obstacle to overcome, but he wasn't able to overcome himself. He reacted in the only way that he understood.
//Gods, Duo, but you don't understand at all.//
Wufei stood and emptied glass shards into a garbage bag, and stooped to collect more miniature pieces one small handful at a time until the floor was cleared. He moved towards the small twin bed to remove the torn sheets when a stabbing pain ripped into the sole of his foot. Jerking back immediately, he discovered one last piece of glass, the sharpest of all that he had cleared. His blood dripped from his foot and mingled with the dried blood of Duo's self-inflicted injuries. Not wanting to create a larger mess then he already had to deal with, he tore a strip from the old sheets and wrapped it tightly around the cut.
He winced a bit as he set his foot down on the floor; the cut was deep. Checking the clock, Wufei realized he needed to work faster. Morning would come before he knew it, he only had tonight. Quatre was picking up Duo at 8:30 a.m. and everything had to be spotless for his arrival. He retrieved a rag from the closet and dampened it in the bathroom. Returning to the room, he pressed the wet cloth to the broken remains of the mirror that still stood. Wufei held it in place over Duo's eerie message of "Bye" and watched as lines of red crept slowly into the white purity of the cloth, reminding Wufei that nothing would last forever. He was nearly dazed as he watched in fascination while he continued the procedure. When the crimson stains had all been wiped clean, Wufei stood back to check over his work. He frowned at the image that greeted him. Thought there was no trace of blood, the image was burned so intensely into his mind, seeing each visible streak still in place. And nothing could change the brokenness of the mirror.
Ten minutes later found Wufei fitting his own bedroom mirror in to replace Duo's. Duo didn't need a reminder of what he had done. After he had gotten the new mirror in place, he heaved the broken one and wrestled it into his own bedroom. He knew that the mirror would haunt his dreams for many nights to come.
+
A slamming door brought Wufei's head from the table with a jerk. Quatre had walked into the kitchen, followed by an angry looking Heero and an even angrier Duo. Heero's hand was wrapped around Duo's upper arm to instill cooperation.
"What's going on?" Wufei asked, shaking off sleep to make room for the concern that was entitled to Duo. A half-eaten, browned apple rolled from his fingertips where his hand had fallen when sleep captured him the previous night. Ignoring it, he looked up at Heero while something bubbled under his skin at the way he was touching Duo.
"Go back to sleep," Heero said coldly as he pulled Duo through the door to the living room. Duo tried to pull back, but Heero's grip was too firm. Wufei looked to Quatre for information.
"What's this all about?" he interrogated as Heero's berating voice floated into the kitchen.
"Duo tried... something on the way home," Quatre offered, "Heero wasn't happy. He hit him."
Wufei stood up so quickly that his chair was on the ground. He wouldn't tolerate Heero treating Duo in such a way. He flung the kitchen door open to discover Heero gripping the neck of the braided pilot's shirt to hold him on his feet and an angry fear in Duo's sapphire eyes. Before any of the three boys knew what was happening, Duo was pulled free and Heero had a quickly reddening bruise on his cheek. Tension weighed impossibly heavy over the room in a deadly silence. Wufei wrapped his arms protectively around Duo's shoulders and looked straight into Heero's steel eyes.
"Leave Duo alone," he warned sternly, startled by his own words and actions. Heero narrowed his eyes as he stared at the two, yet he nodded as he left the room. Without a word, Wufei ushered Duo up the stairs to his cleaned bedroom. Duo seated himself on the bed and looked around in understanding.
"What did you do?" Wufei asked gently, refusing any sound of accusation from entering his voice. Duo avoided his eyes. Wufei would get mad when he found out... but he would rather tell him himself then leave the duty to Heero.
"I heard that you tried 'something'," Wufei offered Duo the courage to speak.
"I.." Duo started shakily, fearing Wufei's reaction.
"It's alright, Duo," he urged calmly. Duo looked deep into Wufei's velvety onyx eyes, searching for the sign of encouragement that he needed, the urgency in his own sapphire eyes pleading for the care and support and the love that every piece of his dying soul was yearning to reach out and touch. Some sort of silent understanding took place between their gaze and urged Duo's tongue to speak.
"I tried to get out of the car," he admitted slowly, "while it was moving."
Wufei looked at Duo with parted lips, unable to speak, unable to display the emotions that he wanted to share, unable to fold Duo into his arms and hold him close, to comfort him. If only he knew, that was what Duo longed for as well.
"Duo," Wufei said in a voice that didn't sound like his own. Duo flinched at the sound, not knowing whether it was meant to be angry or consoling. Wufei noticed the confusion clouding his eyes and realized the misunderstanding immediately.
"Duo," he repeated, noticeably gentle now. Duo's stiffened form relaxed as Wufei joined him on the bed and curled his strong arms around him.
A/n: Did you like it? I know not a lot happened in this chapter, but please let me know what you think of the story, whether you like it or hate it, I want feedback, positive or negative! I hope you're enjoying it!
~Kentra Shinataku