Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ What Might Have Been ❯ Hand Me Down ( Chapter 5 )

Title: What Might Have Been - Hand Me Down, 5/5 or 5/? You decide!!

Author: Jadeduo

Pairings: Past 1x2, Present 5x2, 6+1, 1x6, 2x1.... mention of 3x4, and eventual 1x2x5 (note these pairings are subject to change with every chapter, and they will!)

Warnings: ANGST! SAP! Suicidal Duo, swearing, songfic, lemon, and that's it......

Archives: Soon to be at my site, Death and the Soldier, at ff.net under Jadeduo, and Mako-chan's Fanfic archive - http://www.afallenangel.net/makotosagara/frames/fanfiction.html, anywhere else just ask! I will be happy to oblige!

Disclaimer: Blah blah blah, poor. Blah blah, blah, no own anything Gundam Wing. Blah, blah, blah, *pouts*.

Notes:

Special Notes:
~noises~
//thoughts//
***** - time and scene change
~~~~~ - scene change

Somebody ought to take you in
Try to make you love again
Try to make you like the way they feel
When they're under your skin
Never once did you think they'd lie when they're holding you
You wonder why they haven't called
When they said they'd call you
You start to wonder if you're ever gonna make it by
You'll start to think you were born blind

From what I've seen
You're just a one more hand me down
Cause no one's tried to give you what you need
So lay all your troubles down
I am with you now

~Hand Me Down, Matchbox Twenty

~Hand Me Down~

December 11, AC 210

Zechs startled by the noise at the door threw on the nearest shirt and pair of pants he could find, and ran to answer the door. Zechs straightened his hair and put on his best smile, and opened the door. Only to see a smiling Duo standing in the doorway pizza in hand. "Did somebody order a--" Duo stopped talking and narrowed his violet eyes in anger at Zechs. "What are YOU doing here?"

Zechs stood dumbfounded in the doorway. //This is not happening.// "Duo, I--"

Duo glared at the flustered man before him. "I knew you would do something like this. I was right! I knew I couldn't trust you! How dare you! He better be okay, or I'll, I'll--" Duo pushed the hastily dressed Zechs out of the way and went in search of Heero. "Heero?" Duo walked into the bedroom, seeing the state of Heero's bed and the clothes all over the floor. He deduced that something had happened between them, but what? Then, he heard whimpering coming from the bathroom. Duo knocked on the door softly. "Heero?! It's me, Duo. Is everything all right?"

"Go away."

"Heero, please let me in. I want to know what happened. Why are you crying?"

"Go away."

Duo sighed and pulled the set of lock picks he always kept in his braid, and picked the lock. Duo opened the door cautiously and found Heero naked and crying on the bathroom floor...

*****

February 21, AC 204

"Duo! I'm home!" Wufei called from the entryway of their apartment. //Why is it dark in here? Where is Duo?// "Duo?" Wufei called as he searched the apartment for his missing friend. //That's odd. His bike is still here. Where could he have gone?// Wufei searched the apartment methodically, but found nothing but a broken laptop in Duo's room. Now more fearful than ever, Wufei searched more diligently, and then he heard a soft whimpering coming from Duo's bathroom. Wufei knocked on the door softly. "Duo?"

"Go away."

"Please, Zi ai, let me in," Wufei said softly, trying to reason with the hysterical man.

"Go away. I need to be alone," Duo cried.

"Duo Maxwell let me in there, or I will kick this door down!" Wufei said sternly

"No," Duo murmured softly.

Wufei kicked the door in, and found Duo curled in on himself, crying hysterically. Wufei rushed over to Duo and pulled the crying man into his arms. "I'm sorry. Zi ai, I'm so sorry."

*****

December 11, AC 210

Duo rushed into the bathroom as quickly as his feet would carry him and cradled Heero to his chest. "What's wrong Heero? Did Zechs do something to you? Are you okay? Heero, I'm so sorry." Heero just cried harder as Duo tried to figure out what was happening. "Heero, can you hear me?" Heero nodded. "All right, I'm going to go get some clothes for you, okay? I'll be right back."

"No! Don't leave me!" Heero clutched Duo's shirt, trying to keep him in place.

Duo smiled at his friend. "It's okay, Heero. I'll be right back. I won't leave you; just let me go get something warm for you. It's kinda chilly in here."

Heero nodded softly and let go of Duo's shirt. Duo set him down on the toilet seat and kissed him on the head. "I promise, right back." Duo turned from the distraught man and left the bathroom, shutting the door behind him, only to be confronted by furious ice blue eyes.

"Why. Are. You. Here. Maxwell?" Zechs spat out.

Violet eyes narrowed in anger. "I don't know who you think you are, Marquise, but this is my apartment too, and Heero is MY best friend. I don't know what happened between you two just now, and frankly, I don't care. All I know is that my best friend has locked himself in his own bathroom, crying his eyes out! I don't know what you did, Marquise, but I swear on all that I hold dear if you in anyway hurt him, there will be hell to pay."

Zechs paled. "He's crying? But- he- I thought." Zechs slumped miserably against the hallway.

"Well, you thought wrong. Leave, now, and let me handle this. I can't trust you to pick up the pieces, because this infatuation of yours has gone far enough already. Do you have any idea the damage you probably have already done? No? I didn't think so." Duo turned his back on Zechs and stalked into Heero's room. He yanked open the closet and grabbed a pair of sweatpants, a tank top, and a fresh quilt from the closet. Duo turned from the task to see Zechs pick up his ruined shirt and flee the room, still wearing Heero's discarded green tank top.

*****

February 21, AC 204

Wufei held Duo tightly and whispered softly into the braided man's ear. "I'm sorry, Duo. I'm sorry, Zi ai. I know it's hard, but you will get over it. I love you, Duo. It will be all right. You are strong. You WILL get through this. Don't give up on me now when we've come so far. Please Duo."

Duo continued to sob hysterically into Wufei's arms. Wufei sighed and decided this was probably not the best place to do this, so he picked up Duo gingerly. Then, he proceeded to walk across the hall to his bedroom. He placed Duo softly on the bed and proceeded to wrap him up in warm quilts so he wouldn't go in to shock. Then, he turned to leave and make some tea. Duo needed to keep warm. He couldn't have his friend, his love, in pain.

"Fei, don't leave me alone, please." Violet eyes begged him.

"No, Zi ai, never by choice, but I need to make you something warm to drink. You are going to make yourself sick. I will be right back. I promise."

Violet studied ebony, intently looking for the truth in those words. "Okay, come back soon."

Wufei nodded silently, while gently squeezing Duo's hand before he left the room. //I *knew* this would happen. Duo will never let that idiot Yuy out of his system. He will be the shadow over us for the rest of my days. If he comes back... It would destroy what we've worked so hard to accomplish. It... would destroy my love... and myself. What the hell am I going to do, Nataku? I love him, and I've promised him no matter what he could possibly need... I know this will end badly, but I can't help it... I need him.//

"Fei?" Duo called faintly from the bedroom.

Wufei finished up preparing the tea and called out to his friend. "Yes, Zi ai?" Unnerved by the silence, Wufei walked quickly back to the bedroom.

*****

December 11, AC 210

After Zechs left, Duo stalked to the bathroom and yanked open the door. Only to be stopped in his tracks once again by the sight of Heero broken and weeping on the floor. Duo stepped softly across the threshold and stooped down onto the floor. "Heero, come on. Let's get you off the floor." Heero unyieldingly let Duo pick him up and set him on the toilet again. Duo placed the clean clothes and quilt on the sink and stepped over to the shower, adjusting the water temperature to get Heero cleaned up. When the water was set to the appropriate, temperature Duo stripped down to his black boxers and helped an unresisting Heero into the shower.

"Heero, are you going to be all right?" Heero just stared off into space, completely non-responsive to Duo's efforts. He looked sadly at the beautiful, but broken man shivering in front of him. "Heero, it'll be okay. I promise. Whatever it is, it can't be as bad as it seems." With that, he proceeded to wash Heero as clinically as possible.

"Duo? I'm so sorry I--I I-- didn't mean to. I've betrayed you. I promised there would never be another.... No... I'm so sorry. Please, forgive me. I love you, Duo. I love you." Duo, startled by the outburst from the normally quiet man, pulled Heero's soapy body in a for a calming embrace. Duo rubbed Heero's tense quivering muscles, trying to calm him.

"It's okay, Heero. You haven't betrayed me. It will be all right, I promise. I love you too. Here, let's rinse you off, get you warmed up, and dressed, and then, we can talk about what happened, okay?" Heero nodded as tears blended with the water cascading all around them. Duo finished up as quickly as possible and stepped out of the shower, pulling Heero with him. As gently as he could, he dried them both off, and proceeded to dress Heero in the sweats and wrap him in the quilt. Then, he walked Heero to the master bedroom. Duo settled Heero on the king sized bed and then started to rummage through the drawers for some dry clothes. After tossing the damp boxers into the hamper across the room, he threw on a pair of sweats and joined Heero on the soft bed.

"Now what happened? I want all of the details."

Heero shuddered out of his self-induced stupor and started at the half naked Duo sitting across from him. "Duo? What?"

Duo smiled softly. "It's okay, Heero. I came by to drop off your pizza and hopefully drag you out for a little while... Then, Zechs answered the door, and I found you on the bathroom floor, almost going into shock. What happened? I promise I won't judge. I only want to help you."

Heero looked into the sincere violet eyes and told Duo everything between sobs, and when he finished, he collapsed into strong arms and cried until the tears would no longer come.

Duo petted Heero as he talked, running calloused hands over trembling skin, sometimes running his fingers through Heero's soft, damp hair. Heero's violent reaction to Zechs worried him, but he had an idea as to why it had happened, and Heero needed to talk about it. Otherwise, he would probably explode.

*****

February 21, AC 204

Duo, huddled in on himself in the bed, was shaking under the layers of quilts wrapped around him. "Fei? I'm cold."

Wufei set the tea down on the nightstand, climbed into the large bed, and pulled the cocooned Duo into his arms. "Shh... It's okay, Zi ai. You'll be all right. Now, tell me what happened?"

Duo started sobbing at the heartfelt question, while Wufei just pulled the braided man tighter into his embrace. Between broken sobs and cries of despair and longing, Duo told Wufei of his last search for Heero. The last chance he was giving his former lover for reconciliation, and how it had failed. Wufei listened to the hopes and dreams that Duo had, and of the future that he was afraid of, a future without the one he loved most. Wufei cried inside, while Duo poured out his heart and soul to the other man. When the tears finally stopped, and the tea was cold, Duo slept fitfully in Wufei's arms.

*****

December 11, AC 210

Duo softly pried himself from the death grip Heero held him in, and dried his tears with the quilt wrapped around him. "Heero, you have to listen to me. Zechs wanted you to make love to him. He was worried about you when he left. It'll be okay. I know you are afraid of how violently you reacted. And I know that as much as I hate the man, I believe that he truly loves you. Otherwise, he wouldn't have let it go as far as it did."

Heero looked at Duo through his red-rimmed eyes. "I-- Don't know… Duo… I mean no one deserves to be practically raped by the one they love. I am such a monster… I never deserved you. I should have died with the war."

Duo shocked at this revelation pulled Heero into a tight embrace. "No! Never! I don't know what I would do without you. I-Heero, don't ever say that. Ever! You lived because you were strong. You couldn't let that defeat you. Don't let this defeat you."

"No! I didn't deserve to live! I only hurt you, drove you to another! And then, I took advantage of someone who has feelings for me that I can never return! Because, I am so in love with you that I am trapped here in the past, and you are in the future and you are in love. I am all wrong. I don't belong here! I should have never come back! I should have just ended myself with the mission!" Heero sobbed brokenly between cries, and shuddered in the pain and sorrow of the past ten years of loneliness.

Duo held Heero tighter as the revelations just kept coming, and he laid them down on the bed as Heero kept saying he should have died. He had hurt someone just for his pleasure. He was no better than those they fought in the past. Duo tried his best to reassure the broken man. "Heero, it will be all right. You'll see." Heero continued to deny, and Duo continued to reassure, until an exhausted Heero fell into a fitful sleep as a violet-eyed guardian angel watched.

*****

February 21, AC 204

Wufei looked down thoughtfully at his lover as he stroked the mussed chestnut hair and Duo softly snored in his arms. //Things are so complicated between us. Heero left because he thought it was the best thing he could do for Duo at the time. And, he was most likely right about that, but Duo would never see that. He would always be angry with his former lover. The pain and suffering between the two of them is palpable at times. What Heero must be going through alone must be painful beyond measure. But, what matters to me is my Zi ai. The one I love above all others, who loves someone else. What am I going to do about this? If Heero ever comes back from that mission, what will happen? Will Duo leave me for the one he loves above all others? Or will he die slowly inside, staying with me only out of a misguided sense of duty? And, can I really hate Heero? Of course I can't! Would I have done the same exact thing had it been me in the same exact position? And what about Duo? If he moves on and stays with me, will he be able to live with himself? Will he be able to watch Heero suffer alone, while he is happy? What am I going to do?// Wufei pulled Duo tightly against him, causing Duo to shift in his sleep and snuggle into strong tanned arms. Wufei sighed softly and looked down at the peaceful vision in his arms and bed. //Whatever comes, Duo, I will be here. Whatever you need, whatever you need...//

*****

December 11, AC 210

Duo started from the most comfortable sleep he could remember having in a long time. Instincts instantly alert, he scanned the room for the disturbance. Only to find it in, Heero who lay next to him, thrashing and whimpering in his sleep. Duo pulled the sleeping man into his arms and started trying to wake him. "Heero, wake up, love. It's okay. It's just a nightmare. It's not real. You are here with me now. I'll take care of you."

Heero slowly became aware of being held in a loose embrace, as he slowly fell out of the nightmare. "Hn… Duo? Ano… What are you doing here?"

Duo smiled lightly and kissed him on the cheek. "I just wanted to make sure you were still okay. You were really out of it last night."

"Oh god." Heero pulled himself from the loose embrace, and then curled into a fetal position on the far side of the bed.

Duo, unsure about what to say, scrambled to pull Heero out of the ball he had curled himself into. "Heero? It's okay," he began softly. Getting no reaction whatsoever, he tried harder. "Heero, you have got to listen to me. Whatever happened… It doesn't matter. Zechs loves you, and he wanted you to make love to him. You didn't force anything on him. Remember, he was a Gundam pilot as well. He could have stopped you at any time. And don't give me the Perfect Soldier shit, because I won't buy it. If he truly felt threatened, he would have found a way out. I promise you."

Heero shuddered lightly, turned over from his curled position, and faced his former lover lying across from him. Heero reached up and stroked the soft, pale cheek and whispered, "Duo, thank you. You didn't have to do any of this. You didn't have to stay. You didn't have to care. You didn't have to love me. I want you to know that I love you. I know, I know, we can't have what we had anymore, but… I had to tell you one more time. I love you, Duo Maxwell, with all of my being." Heero reached up and pulled the long bangs out of the violet eyes and kissed him softly.

*****

February 21, AC 204

"Heero! No! Don't go! I need you. Please!"

Wufei started out of his comfortable sleep only to hear his crying and shuddering lover crying out to his lost love. The Chinese man sighed, and pulled Duo into a sweet embrace, trying his best to wake him slowly from the heartbreaking nightmare. "Duo, love, Zi ai, wake up. It'll be okay. I promise. Duo, wake up."

Duo looked up groggily into the coal black eyes looking straight into his soul. "Wufei?"

"Yes, Zi ai?"

"I-- You won't leave me, will you?"

"No, never," Wufei affirmed and held Duo tighter. Duo whimpered softly and let himself be held. Wufei looked down at the vulnerable and scared man he was comforting, and sighed in contentment, knowing he could stay like this with his Zi ai for the rest of his days.

"Wufei?"

"Yes, Zi ai?"

"Thank you." With those softly spoken words, Duo leaned further into the embrace, and then tilted his head up and softly kissed Wufei on the lips.

*****

December 11, AC 210

Shocked, Duo touched his just kissed lips and looked at Heero in horror. Duo pulled away abruptly and tried to leave the bed. Heero panicked and grabbed Duo's arm before he could get away and cried out - tears streaming down his face. "No! Duo, please! Don't leave me here all alone! I can't stand it! Just stay the night! I won't do anything you don't want me to do. I swear! Just stay here with me! I-I I can't be here alone tonight. Just hold me."

Duo sighed and sat on the edge of the bed. "Heero, I can't stay here any longer. I'm sure Fei is wondering where I am right now… You'll be okay now. Zechs is gone, and you…"

"No! I can't take this anymore! Duo, why is this so hard for us? Why can't we just be together? Why can't I love you just one more time?"

Duo looked sadly into the broken cobalt blue eyes. "Heero, the time for us is over. We can't ever have that again. I love you, I do, but… I can't do that. I am tied to another. He would be heartbroken, betrayed, if I gave you what you are asking for. I can't do that I can't do that to him." Duo cupped Heero's tear-stained cheek in his hand, and brushed the red lips with his thumb. "I'm sorry, Heero, but if it's any consolation, I still love you."

Heero grabbed the gently stroking hand and held it against his cheek. "Duo, if we both love each other so much, then why are we being so stupid? Why can't we just love each other again?"

*****

February 21, AC 204

Wufei, dumbfounded, stared at the nervous man lying across from him. "Zi ai… You can't do this. You don't have to do this for me to take care of you. I am not expecting this as…" Wufei swallowed nervously, "I don't need this as payment… You are…I…"

Duo smiled and snuggled into Wufei's arms. "It's not payment, Fei. I want to do this with you. I want to feel you. I want to feel something other than pain for once. I've given up on him, and now… Now, it is time for me to move on. I want to know, to see if I can find that same happiness again… with you. It's up to you though… Can you accept me with all of my faults? Can you accept the scars, and the pain that makes up who I am? Dragon, I don't want to hurt you, but one day, I might. Then I would lose a true friend. I do want to try, but…"

Wufei reached across, and touched two fingers to Duo's petal soft lips. "Zi ai, no matter what you do to me, I will always be here for you. No matter what. Whatever you need, Zi ai, whatever you need, I will be."

Tears fell softly from Duo's eyes at the heartfelt words coming from his best friend and lover lying across from him. "Fei, Dragon, thank you. I will always try to honour what you have given me, but what if He comes back?"

*****

December 11, AC 210

Duo stared at Heero in shock. "Oh, Heero..." he said in defeat. "You can't ask that of me. I love you, but Wufei… I-I can't."

Heero stroked the glistening chestnut hair and started kissing and nibbling along Duo's jawline. "Duo," he whispered softly. "Make love to me one last time. I want to feel what it's like to have you, all of you, one last time."

"Oh Heero," Duo sighed and stroked a damp cheek. "Do you realize how much you tempt me? How desirable you look right now? Begging me to make love to you, crying, touching me like that… Heero, Heero, I love you. I love you so much." With those sweetly bitter words, Duo swooped in and soundly kissed the breath out of the depressed man across him. Pulling back suddenly, Duo searched the cobalt blue eyes across from him. "Heero… I can't. This is wrong. You know I love you…" He reached across the space between and stroked a tear-stained cheek lovingly. "But… I can't… I-"

Heero leaned forward into the loving embrace, mewling softly. "Please, love me. I love you so much, Duo. Just one last time, for me, for us."

Duo whimpered softly and pulled Heero into a bone-crushing embrace, while whispering softly into Heero's ear. "One last time… for us."

Heero sighed and molded himself into the warm embrace, pulling Duo closer to him than they had been in years, savoring the warmth and feeling that he had been missing for so long. "I love you," he whispered. "Please make love to me, now. I need you."

Duo cried softly and took the initiative, pushing Heero back onto the bed, straddling the warm and pliant body underneath him. "I love you too, Heero." Heero sighed in contentment and pulled Duo down for a long and tender kiss. Nipping softly at the fully kissed lips, they explored each other's mouths almost like it was the first and last time for both of them.

Feeling the desperation and hope between the two of them, Heero thought that maybe just maybe this could work out… Of course, he knew in the morning things would never be the same, but he would hold this night close to his heart for all of his remaining days. "I love you, Duo. I love you so much. Please, take me."

Duo groaned heavily. "Heero, I- don't know if I should…"

Heero stroked the violet-eyed man's cheek, looking up into twin pools of emotion. "I want you to. Please, take me. I need you now." He proved this by pushing his now firm erection into the hip straddling him. "I need you, Duo. Love me. Own me. Hold me. Fuck me."

Duo whimpered at the demand and thrust down into the answering hardness beneath him. "God, Heero, I could stay here above you forever," Duo said as he bit and suckled at Heero's neck and collarbone, while running his hands underneath the warm sweats stroking the healthy muscled chest beneath him. "Heero, is this okay?" Heero just nodded in response and started to tug the shirt off. Realizing what he was doing, Duo helped by kissing every inch of the newly exposed skin, leaving Heero shuddering in pleasure. When the shirt finally fell to the floor, Heero was an incoherent mass of sensations, filled to the brim with love and hope.

Duo was a big bundle of nerves pleasuring the body he had known so well and mapping out all the new scars that had appeared on Heero's body since their last night together. He was fascinated by the web of scars tracing all along Heero's torso. He just wanted to kiss each scar so that it would fade away into oblivion.

Heero, awash in sensation, ground up into the person above him, seeking any relief he could get from the mind-blowing pleasure and worship he was receiving at the hands of his lover. "I love you. I love you so much. Please, don't ever leave. Don't ever stop… Oh God!"

Duo smirked at the reaction. //Apparently, Heero is susceptible to the attention paid to his collarbone. He didn't used to before…// After receiving so much patience and pleasure from his lover, Heero wanted to return the favour. Quickly taking control, Heero pulled Duo closer and made a slow exploration of his tonsils and tongue, stroking every inch of flesh he could find in the warm cavern of Duo's mouth.

Not one to take such an invitation lightly, Duo quickly stripped them of all of their clothes and ran his hands up and down and around the warm body beneath him, while Heero returned the favour by exploring the body above him and running his hands through the now released curtain of chestnut falling all around them, creating a world of their own where only they existed. Duo kissed Heero softly. "I'll be right back, love." And, he quickly exited the room. He rejoined his lover, sinking down onto Heero's warm body and kissing him soundly. "Are you sure you are okay with this?"

Heero looked straight into Duo's eyes and nodded affirmatively. "I want this… I want you… now." To prove his point, Heero thrust his aching cock up into Duo's hip. Duo moaned in pleasure and gestured for his lover to open his legs for him. Heero quickly complied, exposing his tight entrance for his lover and friend to see. Duo moaned in appreciation and carefully stretched his lover. It had been too long for them both.

Duo started slowly with one finger, stretching, stroking, and lightly rubbing Heero's prostate, making him a mass of nerves. Then, he added a second finger, stretching and scissoring to make Heero ready for him. Heero cried out in pleasure, moaning in appreciation of the amount of patience and understanding his former lover was showing him. "Duo, please, now!"

Duo frowned. "Heero… I don't think you are ready yet. When was the last time you've been taken?"

Heero looked up into dazzling violet eyes and responded honestly, "You. You were the last."

With that, Duo moaned loudly. "Oh, God." He drew back his lubricant slickened fingers, stroked his firm erection, and then slowly entered Heero as carefully as he could. Heero winced at the slight burn he felt as Duo entered. It had been so long since he'd been taken, since he'd been loved. He never wanted to lose it again. It felt like they were both coming home after a very long journey full of pain and suffering. Home was here in their bed, in each other's arms; the rest of the world could wait for now.

The pace continued slow and desperate, hungrily and languidly, worshipful and full of love. "Heero, I love you. I'm so sorry."

Heero only smiled contentedly. "I love you, Duo. Come with me, my love." Heero flexed his muscles around Duo's pulsing cock and came. Duo, following him closely after, fell in a sated heap on top of his lover.

Duo lay there for a few minutes, absorbing the love and affection that had passed between them during their lovemaking. Duo hoped that this moment in time would never end - him sated and in the arms of his first true love.

Heero lay underneath Duo, feeling for the first time in a long while protected, safe. He smiled and allowed the warmth to sink in, lulling him to sleep.

Duo smiled at the soft snoring, slowly withdrew from his lover, and went to get a cloth to clean them up. After getting rid of the evidence of their passion, Duo pulled Heero into a warm embrace and feel asleep. And for the first time in over ten years, they both fell into a contented and restful sleep.

*****

February 21, AC 204

Wufei stared into the nervous and sorrowful violet eyes across from him, and took a deep breath. "Zi ai, I love you and always will. But… I cannot make that choice for you. When the time comes, and Heero does return… You will have to make that choice, and you will have to stand by it. And no matter what you decide, I will always stand by you. Don't make promises you cannot keep."

Duo wiggled closer and placed a soft and tender kiss to Wufei's lips. "Dragon, make love to me. Show me what it's like to be loved again."

Wufei cried softly and swooped in for a tender, yet intense, exploration of Duo's mouth. Pulling back slowly, Wufei held Duo close and cradled the excitable braided man in his arms, rubbing small circles to relax and comfort. Duo moaned in appreciation. "Is this okay, Zi ai?"

Duo nodded softly and started dropping tender kisses along Wufei's neck, while Wufei reciprocated lovingly, worshipping the supine body across from him. Moving as slowly and tenderly as possible, Wufei undressed his love as one would the most fragile package on Earth, tearing away each layer slowly but surely so as not scare the skittish man away. Wufei wanted this to be good for his lover, and he wanted to remember this moment in case it never happened again. Duo moaned softly into Fei's tender ministrations, "I l-lo…"

"Shh-shh, Zi-ai. It's all right… You don't have to. Let me take care of you. I don't need anything in return. Just let me love you." Wufei pushed Duo gently onto his back and draped himself over his lover, dropping light kisses over every part of the warm body beneath him. "I love you, Zi ai." Callused hands wandered all over the responsive, but quiet, man moaning in pleasure beneath him. Hoping that he wasn't moving too quickly, Wufei stroked a quivering thigh softly while still holding the trembling man close to him. "Shh-shh, it's alright, love. Don't be frightened. Whatever you want, Zi ai."

"I want this, Fei. I want you. Please…" Duo moaned softly into his Dragon's neck. "I need this now. I need to feel you."

Wufei moaned and cried in relief. "One minute, Zi ai." Wufei rolled away from Duo and opened the bedside table to get the lubricant. Taking a deep breath to calm himself he stripped quickly and methodically. Then, he crawled back to his love and pulled their naked bodies together and whispered softly into Duo's ear. "Are you sure about this, love? We can stop anytime…"

Duo smiled softly at the concern his new lover was showing him. "Please, Fei… Please make love to me."

Wufei buried his head in the soft chestnut strands at Duo's neck. "Okay, give me a minute." After regaining control of his mind and body, Wufei lowered himself back on top of his lover, stroking and kissing each part of his body. He was determined to slowly build the passion between them with care and reverence. Wufei backed up, slowly looking for the permission he needed from Duo. Duo nodded and spread his legs in silent invitation. Wufei whimpered, coated his fingers in lubricant and circled Duo's entrance with lubricant, and then eased one finger inside, while watching his lover carefully for any negative reactions. Duo nodded softly and pushed back on the slick intruder, encouraging Wufei to give him more. Wufei, assured by this positive reaction, added another finger, scissoring and stretching his Zi ai slowly and deliberately.

Finally, Duo couldn't take anymore and cried out softly. "Please, Fei, please take me. Show me…"

Wufei took the initiative and removed his slick fingers from his lover, and then lubricated his pulsing erection. Placing the head of his cock at Duo's entrance, he smiled softly at the man underneath him. "Zi ai, are you sure?"

Duo moaned. "Oh god, please, yes!" With those words, Wufei carefully entered his lover, going as slowly as humanly possible so as not to hurt his high-strung lover. Wufei moaned as the tight passage contracted around his intruding member. To both of them, this was reaffirmation of what they had promised each other. Duo to give Wufei the chance to love him, and Wufei to love Duo with all he could give.

When Wufei was finally encased deep within the man under him, he paused to regain the tenuous hold he had on his control. When he had some semblance of control, Wufei started to move, completing and reaffirming the love he had for the man beneath him. They went slowly at first, just enjoying the feel of being complete, of being whole again, until they could hold back no longer, and began moving at a frenzied, and, at the same time, tender pace that only validated the bond between them.

Feeling himself about to fall over the abyss, Wufei tenderly wrapped his still lubricated fingers around Duo's hard cock and pumped him in time with his furious pace, bringing them both over the precipice.

"Zi ai!"

"Fei!"

*****

December 11, AC 210

Heero stirred and woke up from a comfortable haze to find his former lover naked and in his arms. Heero smiled ruefully, and sighed. One last night, that had been his plan to feel Duo inside him, around him, above him. His one last selfish gift to himself, and now it was time to end it all, to bring himself peace and to stop selfishly hurting and destroying other people. He didn't deserve Duo's nor Zechs's love. It was time for them to move on, and the only way they could do that would be with him gone. It was time.

Heero stared mournfully into the mirror, smiled one last time, and turned from the mirror unable to look at the love bites Duo had marked him with only a few hours earlier. "I'm sorry, Duo, Zechs. You'll both find someone more worthy of your love. I'm sorry. I love you Duo. Goodbye." He murmured softly, then slashed both wrists as deeply as he could, and he slumped slowly to the ground as he gave into unconsciousness.

~~~~~

Duo woke up abruptly to a loud thumping noise in the bathroom, realizing Heero had left the bed not too much earlier. Duo ran as quickly as he could to the direction of the thumping noise. Upon opening the door, Duo stopped in shock to see Heero in pool of his own blood on the floor. "Oh god!" Duo jumped into action, calling the nearest hospital as quickly as he could and calling in as many favours as he had to save his lover's life. But, did Heero even want to be saved anymore? He had already tried this once before and damn near succeeded! "Damn you, Heero! You had better live through this, so I can beat you into the ground for your own stupidity! WE would have worked something out, you imbecile!!"

*****

February 21, AC 204

Exhausted after their lovemaking, they curled up next to each other, sharing in each other's warmth. Wufei stroked his lover's hair, still amazed that this beautiful man had allowed him of all people to be with him and comfort him. Duo stirred softly to his side, uncaring about the mess. "Fei?"

"Yes, Zi ai?" Wufei said softly.

"Did you really mean it? All of it?"

Wufei locked his eyes seriously with Duo, and said unflinchingly. "Whatever you want, whatever you need. I promise."

Duo smiled brilliantly, and leaned forward and kissed Wufei's lips tenderly. "Thank you Wufei, and I love you too."

*****

December 11, AC 210

~Ring! Ring! Ring!~

Wufei looked up groggily at the clock on the nightstand. It was well… 4 am in the morning. //It had better be an emergency,// he thought. //Or whoever is on the other end of the telephone will end up very dead.// "Hello!" he growled into the phone.

Duo winced at the other end of the line. "Dragon?"

Wufei worried at the questioning and fearful tone coming from his husband, quickly woke up and said the first thing that came to his overtired and irritated self. "Zi ai, where are you?"

Duo gulped, knowing Wufei would not like this. "I'm at the hospital."

Wufei pounced. "Which one? What happened? Are you hurt? I swear to God, Zi ai, if you are in any trouble-"

Duo cut him off before he could finish the tirade. "I'm okay. I'm at St. Joseph's, and I'm fine. But Wufei, Heero's in a really bad way. He tried to kill himself. I-"

Wufei cut him off, well aware of what the Japanese man meant to his husband. "Shh, it's okay, love. I'll be right over."

Duo's tone softened almost imperceptibly. "Thank you, love."

Wufei smiled to himself softly. "I'll be there soon. Zi ai, love you. Be safe."

~~~~~

Wufei, after a quick shower, rushed over to the hospital to find his lover crying brokenly in one of the cheap plastic chairs in the hospital waiting room. Noticing his bedraggled appearance, Wufei bounded over to Duo's side as fast as his feet would carry him, and enveloped him in a comforting embrace. Duo stiffened at the sudden contact, but then, realizing whom it was, relaxed into the embrace and sobbed heartbrokenly. Wufei rubbed his back and offered what comfort he could, while he suffered silently knowing that his lover, his husband, had slept with another man, a former lover, whom Duo still held unrequited feelings for. Things would never be the same again… He had lost his true love to the one man who had always held Duo's heart in his hands-he had just never realized it.

*****

TBC…