Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ What Might Have Been ❯ The Difference ( Chapter 4 )

Title: What Might Have Been - The Difference, 4/? You decide!!

Author: Jadeduo

Pairings: Past 1x2, Present 5x2, 6+1, 1x6.... mention of 3x4 (note these pairings are subject to change with every chapter, and they will!)

Warnings: ANGST! SAP! Suicidal Duo, swearing, songfic, lemon, and that's it......

Archives: Soon to be at my site, Death and the Soldier, at ff.net under Jadeduo, and Mako-chan's Fanfic archive - http://www.afallenangel.net/makotosagara/frames/fanfiction.html, anywhere else just ask! I will be happy to oblige!

Disclaimer: Blah, blah, blah, poor. Blah, blah, blah, no own anything Gundam Wing. Blah, blah, blah, *pouts*.

Notes: *sighs* I wasn't expecting this chapter to take so long, and I wasn't expecting it to take the turn it did.... And yes, I have decided on the final pairing will be an eventual 1x2x5, how we get there is for me to know and you to find out..... Not even my betas know where this is going.... *cries* I didn't expect this to be so long, and involved, and complicated.... *glares at Mako-sissy* This is all your fault! *huggles her anyways* Anywho this is dedicated to my Grandmother who drives me insane and if she knew about this hobby would have a fit..... And this is also dedicated to my Mako-sissy, who is my inspiration! *huggles* ~Jadeduo

Special Notes:
~noises~
//thoughts//
***** - time and scene change
~~~~~ - scene change

Every word you never said

Echoes down your empty hallway

And everything that was your world

Just came down

Day breaking on the boulevard

Feel the sun warming up

Your second hand heart

Light swimming across your face

And you think

Maybe someday, yeah

Maybe someday

-The Difference, Matchbox Twenty

~The Difference~

******

December 1, AC 210

Heero lay alone in his apartment, staring up at the ceiling as the night passed him by. The apartment, while still half his, did still belong to Duo by right, and no matter what, it never felt like the home it used to be. //Because Duo isn't here.// Heero sighed and turned on his side to look at the old picture of them taken when they were seventeen; they looked so happy. //How could I be so blind? What I wouldn't give for just one more night; one more chance. Duo looked so beautiful today, still winded from lovemaking, flushed and ethereal - like an angel. I will just have to resign myself to being lonely for the rest of my life. Just so I can be near you, to touch you, to hold you, if only as a friend. You are my world, and always will be.//

Heero got up. Sleep wouldn't come tonight. Like many nights before, he would just have to go without it, or risk being a zombie the next day. He padded into the kitchen and made some strong black tea and booted up his laptop. He signed onto his messenger program in the hopes that someone he knew would be on tonight; otherwise, he would have to put in some overtime tonight.

PinkPrincess> Heero? What are you doing on so late?

BrokenWing> Hi Relena, couldn't sleep again

PinkPrincess> Heero you are getting way too old to be putting in long nights like this

BrokenWing> I know, but I saw Duo today. And he well....

PinkPrincess> :( Heero he didn't do anything did he?

BrokenWing> I don't know I just.... I think he stiffened when I hugged him. I-- Relena....

PinkPrincess> I understand Heero, I do, but, don't you think that maybe he was just caught off guard?

BrokenWing> I don't know, but Rel he used to just melt into my embrace and now I'm lucky if I get a stiff hug.

PinkPrincess> Heero, *hugs* It'll be all right. Duo, I think, is just worried about what Wufei would think. He loves him you know that right?

BrokenWing> I know Rel, I do. It's just.... I still love him.

PinkPrincess> I know Heero. So how was your date last weekend?

BrokenWing> Horrible. Rel I appreciate you trying it's just that, I can't relate to men the same age. They are all children, they all either act like total fools or they are afraid of me. I want a partner, I don't want a sub.

PinkPrincess> *sighs* Heero you have to at least try....

BrokenWing> I'm trying! But it's never enough! I can't do this. Duo was everything I could ever want and I threw it away! How could I be so stupid?

PinkPrincess> *hugs* Heero you did it for him! You did it for the peace. I know it's hard to swallow, but you have to believe it was for the best.

BrokenWing> I know, I just wish I could meet someone who could be my equal. And understand this whole mess, I can't lie about Duo and what he means to me.

PinkPrincess> I might have the answer to your prayers.

BrokenWing> *groans* Rel please! No more blind dates!

PinkPrincess> Wouldn't really be blind… you already know him.

BrokenWing> I know I'm going to regret this, who?

PinkPrincess> My brother, Zechs.

BrokenWing> Relena! What are you thinking? We were ENEMIES, and why would he even be interested in an ex-Gundam pilot?

PinkPrincess> Well.... As you know we've just started talking again....

BrokenWing> AND....

PinkPrincess> We got to talking about you, and well he would really appreciate it if you let him take you out to dinner on Friday.

BrokenWing> *glares* Relena! How could you do that to me? What if I had, had plans?

PinkPrincess> Don't give me that Yuy. When are you ever going to let yourself feel again? It kills me to see you fall behind that mask every time we go out in public! You have got to move on! Duo did, and look at him! He's fine!

BrokenWing> It took him six almost seven years to get over me, and he had someone! I have no one! And you know what Relena? He still loves me!

PinkPrincess> Heero, calm down, I know, I know that you still love each other. But it's over, you can never go back again.

BrokenWing> Relena.... I'm sorry.... Can we not talk about this?

PinkPrincess> If you promise to let Zechs take you out.

BrokenWing> Fine 7PM Friday, but if he's late I'm not opening the door.

PinkPrincess> Thank you so much Heero! You won't regret this!

BrokenWing> I better not.... So cheer me up, how was your day?

*****

January 20, AC 204

~Ding Dong!~

Quatre rushed up to the door. It had to be Duo and Wufei. He opened the door and there stood Wufei looking slightly chagrined. "Wufei! What are you doing here without Duo?"

Wufei walked calmly past Quatre, who shut the door. Quatre turned to face the glowering Chinese man. "Now, tell me what happened, and why Duo isn't here."

Wufei sighed, letting the anger leave him; now was not the time. "He wouldn't come."

Quatre raised a golden eyebrow at him. "Why? I thought he was getting better, and that you and him.... were..."

"We are, were... I don't know what to do, Quatre. He... he's impossible. Last night, he spent all night on the computer searching for Yuy, and didn't get any sleep. Sometimes, I wonder if pressuring him this way is a good way to do this. I mean yes we got him out of that apartment, but--" Wufei slumped against the parlour wall.

Quatre walked over to his forlorn friend. "Wufei, you are going to have to be patient; this is going to take a lot of time. Duo is not just going to fall into your arms. He truly and deeply loves Heero. But, he also cares you for you, Wufei; it's just going to take a very long time to blossom into love. He's been hurt, and he's still healing. Just be patient. Don't let your hopes interfere with his progress. Don't lose sight of the fact that although he is getting better, he can still summon up that mask of his that shields his true feelings from all of us."

"I know, Quatre. I just.... I just wish I had met him before Yuy; then this would have never happened."

Quatre looked sadly at his friend. "You can't know that Wufei. Go home to him spend some time, help him heal. We can do dinner next week, okay?"

Wufei straightened and bowed to his long time friend. "I thank you for your kindness."

*****

December 6, AC 210

Zechs fidgeted nervously with the cuffs of his ice blue silk shirt and stared at the door of Heero Yuy's apartment. He had always been fascinated by the young man, but had never had the chance to get to know him during the war - being on opposite sides and all. To be fair, all of the Gundam Pilots had caught his attention, but Heero Yuy, the pilot of Wing, the most of all. His skill was phenomenal, and his intensity almost frightening. And now, he was here for a date with man, because of his conniving little sister. He was sure of it.... Might as well see if this was meant to be a disaster or not....

~Knock knock!~

Heero pulled open the door to reveal Zechs, who looked decidedly older than he had at nineteen, but he carried himself well. His hair still falling down to the middle of his back, his sharp ice blue eyes never lost their intensity, and he obviously still worked, out due to the well-muscled tanned skin that rippled through the soft silk shirt. Heero finished his perusal in seconds, and invited the man in. "Please, come in Zechs. I will be ready shortly; I have to find my shoes. You understand, I don't go out very often..." Heero stood to the side of the door so as to not allow his back to be exposed to the ex-Tallgeese pilot.

Zechs smiled minutely after seeing the obvious distrust in his former enemy's face. "I understand. Is the couch over here okay?"

Heero nodded and strode quickly over into what should have been the guest bedroom of the apartment, and re-emerged shortly there after, shoes in place. Heero nodded to Zechs, expecting him to go out the door first. Zechs smiled brilliantly. "Heero, I'm here for a date, not to arrest you. You trust Relena, and she trusts me, so give the paranoia a rest."

Heero slumped visibly. "Ano.... I'm sorry, Zechs; it's just.... Old habits die hard, and I have a hard time trusting people. I do this to everyone...."

Zechs interrupted. "Unless their names begin with Duo and end in Maxwell. Believe me. I understand, and while the situation is slightly different, I felt the same way after Treize and I drifted apart. I found it hard to trust anyone. Just give me chance, okay? I can be perfectly sane when I need to be."

Heero glared at he smirking man in front of him. "You realize that you aren't helping your case." Heero turned from him and opened the hall closet, pulling out his black trench coat slipping it on. Then, he put his keys in the inside pocket, as well as his wallet. "I'm ready. Let's go; I'm driving. You choose the place."

Zechs rolled his eyes and followed Heero out of the building and into the parking lot. Heero walked up to a sleek black sports car and opened both doors by remote, allowing Zechs to step into the passenger seat on his own. Heero settled himself into the driver's seat, started the engine, and then turned to Zechs. "Where to?"

Zechs narrowed his eyes, but gave directions anyway; the car ride for the most part was silent. Both sat with their own thoughts running circles around their heads. Zechs studied the intense Prussian blue-eyed young man during the drive to the restaurant. //He is strong, and so intensely masculine; it makes me weak in the knees. His musculature is defined underneath the royal blue shirt with black dress pants that barely contain strong calves. Heero Yuy is a man I could definitely go for, but will Heero ever trust me enough to ever let it get that far?//

Heero concentrated on driving and not drooling over the sexy man sitting next to him. //Yes, Zechs is beautiful, but I just don't think that we will ever get really far in a relationship. We are too much alike, and too quiet. And that will drive me insane... What I need, what I want, is Duo.... Stop that! You idiot! Duo is a happily married man; he's no longer yours! All you have are your memories and that's it!//

When they finally got to the restaurant, Heero parked the car and silently followed Zechs into the restaurant. Letting him take care of all of the arrangements for seating, trusting that he would keep in mind their histories. When they were finally seated, Heero was pleasantly surprised to find them sitting in a corner booth with their backs to a wall. There would be no surprises or ambushes tonight! "Thank you, Zechs."

Zechs smiled engagingly at his date. "I figured you would want to sit where I would want to sit, so I thought that this would be the way to go. I'm happy that you approve. Let me say first, Heero, that I've admired you for a long time, but that does not mean I want to be pushed around or used. I would like to make this work, but from what Relena tells me, you don't do this often. And the only people you ever leave your apartment for are the other pilots and Relena. Is this true?"

Heero studied the intent blue eyes across him and answered carefully. "I do not leave the house often, no. As far as dating is concerned, I am the one who is often used due to my stature and reputation. People think that being short means you are an automatic pushover, or they are using me because I was a Gundam pilot. I have trust issues, and I am still in love with Duo. Is that what you wanted to know?" he finished venomously.

"I'm sorry, Heero I never assumed that you would be a pushover. I just... I don't like being measured to another, "Zechs said apologetically.

"I will not measure you against Duo. He was-is the love of my life, and to do so would be unfair. I just wanted you to know that to me you will always come second. If you can't deal with that now, this is doomed to failure." After Heero finished speaking, there was an awkward silence between them, that both were afraid to break.

"Heero..." Zechs said softly. "I never knew anyone could love someone so much. How long has it been?"

Heero studied his dinner setting purposefully. "It has been thirteen years. Thirteen years, Zechs. And the hurt, the love, it never fades."

Zechs reached across the table and clasped onto Heero's hand. "I still love Treize, Heero. Will that help? Will that help you feel better about this? I am just so lonely sometimes. I know how you feel; everyday hoping that it could be your last, just so the pain would stop. But because of a promise, or a plea from someone you care about, you are still here. Doing meaningless things, and maybe capturing some of that brightness again in your sleep, or even with someone you care about. Everyday, Heero… everyday it is a battle. And it would mean a lot to me if we could fight that battle together."

"I'm sorry, Zechs... I know Relena said I'm ready, but I'm really not. This is too much too fast. You have no idea how much I want to ravish you, but that comes from being celibate for 13 years. With only your hand and memories for company. Do you have any idea what it's like to know that the one person that is your whole world is married to another? I-- I can't do this right now, Zechs-- this is just too much. I shouldn't even be talking with you. We could never see eye to eye before. Why now?"

Zechs sighed. Heero was right. He did have trust issues-no make that a subscription... "Heero... how about this. We go slowly, and at anytime you can put a stop to the forward movement. How does that sound to you?"

Heero sighed. Zechs was just as stubborn as his little sister. Maybe even more so, but maybe one day, this could work and he wouldn't feel so empty all of the time.... Maybe someday.... "Hn."

Zechs smiled engagingly at Heero. "I'll take that as a yes. So, Heero, tell me what have you done since the wars that's not classified?"

Heero's eyes clouded over at the thought of that mission, but then let the memories go, and started telling Zechs about his job, his friends, and most importantly, Duo.

~~~~~

Heero pulled off his date clothes and stepped into a pair of sweatpants and a tank top. Tonight would be another sleepless night. He had a lot to think about. About where he was going, and if he was even going to pursue this relationship with Zechs. Would it be worth it? Would it make the pain stop? Would it make any sense at all? How could he let Duo go after all of these years of missing and wanting, him? It wouldn't make any sense.... Heero sighed and made himself a cup of strong black tea like he always did on these nights, and then signed on to his laptop.

PinkPrincess> So how was your date?

BrokenWing> Relena! What are you doing on? Don't you have a conference or something in the morning?

PinkPrincess> Nope. I cleared my schedule so we could talk tonight and then go out tomorrow.

BrokenWing> You enjoy torturing me, don't you?

PinkPrincess> Hai! So how was your date?

BrokenWing> The best one I've ever had. Zechs is very handsome, and engaging.

PinkPrincess> So was there any hanky panky?

BrokenWing> I don't kiss and tell.

PinkPrincess> No Heero you don't kiss at all.

BrokenWing> There was no kissing, and since you are going to bug me until I tell you. We are going to meet for lunch some time during the week.

PinkPrincess> Oh that's great Heero! So do you think that this might have a chance? And if so are you going to tell Duo?

BrokenWing> I don't know Relena. It hurts him enough just to see me. What would telling him that I'm seeing Zechs Marquise do?

PinkPrincess> Heero you worry too much. Duo will understand, he will, he's your best friend.

BrokenWing> My best friend who loves me no matter what.... Relena for now Zechs and I-- we are going to try for friends first. I think that would be the way to go. Actually dating someone and loving them.... I don't think I'm up to it, and I don't think Zechs is either. He still has feelings for his former lover. Relena you have got to stop meddling, do you realize that this could hurt us both?

PinkPrincess> I do Heero, but you have to try. Even if it's only to fall down again.

BrokenWing> Relena, I've had enough falling over to last a lifetime. I've had more experiences than most men my age twenty times over. I just want to sit here alone in this apartment with my memories and maybe a dog.

PinkPrincess> Heero! You know I can't let you do that, you are my friend and I don't want to see you die alone.

BrokenWing> Well it's what I want.

PinkPrincess> And do you think that Duo wants that for you?

BrokenWing> No...

PinkPrincess> Then get off of your ass and do something about it.

BrokenWing> I'll try. So what are you going to force me into doing tomorrow?

PinkPrincess> *beams* Oh nothing much...

*****

January 20, AC 204

"Duo! I'm home!" Wufei called from the darkened living room, searching for his friend. Wufei walked into the kitchen looking for Duo, and not finding him, he continued onto his bedroom. "Duo?" Wufei's eyes softened slightly. Duo was sitting at his desk with the laptop obviously running an automatic search for his errant lover. "Oh, Duo... I'm so sorry." Wufei picked up the exhausted man and laid him out on his bed, throwing an afghan over him. Then, he turned and closed the door. They could talk about this tomorrow. For now, his friend needed sleep.

*****

December 7, AC 210

Duo walked steadily to the small cafe that Relena had invited him to for lunch. He figured that she was trying to play him for a fool, but he would have to wait and see what she had planned. One never knew when it came to scheming blondes. As he approached the café he noticed Relena sitting with Heero and.... Zechs Marquise. //What the hell is HE doing here? And why is Heero here too? Oh, I am so going to kill, or at least maim, her.// Violet eyes blazing, Duo walked up to the scheming blonde. "Relena? You wanted to see me?"

Heero stared at the scene playing out before him. Duo looked ready to murder Relena and Zechs looked very amused at the whole situation. //What is going on? Oh, god, Duo! He looks so amazing! What am I thinking? I can't do this! We can't do this! He is taken. Yuy, taken....//

Relena smiled brightly at Duo. "Oh yes, Duo! Please sit down and join us for lunch. Zechs was just telling me about his and Heero's date last night." Duo narrowed his eyes at the blonde woman. //What? Zechs and Heero.... that makes no sense. I thought that blond bastard was off playing international playboy....//

Heero glared at her furiously. "Relena...."

Relena looked at Heero innocently. "What Heero?"

Duo interrupted them. "Relena, as much as I'd like to stay for another of your little schemes, I have things to do that involve my HUSBAND. Heero, I need to talk to you later alone. I'll meet you at the apartment after you are done. Later." With that, Duo stalked off.

Heero sat there in shock for a moment, and then glared murderously at Relena. "How could you do that to me? You know very well we are just friends. And now, I'm pretty sure he's pissed at me! From now on, Relena, don't interfere with my love life! Ever! It took me a long time to get him comfortable enough to be friends with me. And if you have jeopardized that in anyway, I am locking myself in that apartment you hate so much, and never coming out." At that, Heero threw some credits on the table and hurried off to his apartment, hoping Duo would be there.

Zechs turned to Relena and smirked. "Well, that certainly didn't go how you planned it."

Relena scowled at Zechs. "I wanted Duo to give Heero a nudge in the right direction. I didn't expect him to get mad. I thought he would be happy that Heero was finally taking someone seriously."

Zechs sighed at her naivety. "Relena, Duo still loves Heero, and I'm pretty sure he hates me. Why would he push us together?"

"I don't know. I just thought.... He told Heero to move on, because he's moved on. I never thought they were both still stuck in the past."

"Then why do you think Wufei is still so stiff around Heero? He is afraid; afraid that one day, something will happen that will push Duo back into Heero's arms. Wufei may be a Gundam pilot, but when it comes to love, he is just as unsure about it as those two are. You see the way they dance around each other? They are still lovers in mind, even if they are not in body," Zechs finished thoughtfully.

Relena looked at her brother in surprise. "Since when did you know so much about them?"

"I've always been fascinated with Heero."

~~~~~

Heero opened the door to the apartment and turned the light on to find Duo sitting on their old couch. "Hey, Heero."

"Duo. You wanted to talk?"

Duo motioned for Heero to sit down. Heero hesitated, but did it. Duo studied Heero. The man looked very upset, afraid, almost. And all he could think was, //Why is he so off balance? Is he afraid that I will hate him? I could never Heero, don't you know that?// "Heero, I'm not mad at you." Heero breathed a sigh of relief, and sunk back into the soft well-worn couch. Duo smiled softly, //that's better// "I'm mad at Relena. Is what she said true?"

Heero frowned and decided the truth would be best in this situation. "We did go out on a date last night, but we decided to be friends first. See how that went...."

Duo sighed and grasped Heero's calloused hand in his. "Just be careful, Heero. I don't trust him, and I don't want to see you get hurt. Zechs doesn't have the best reputation. Keep in mind these are only rumours, Heero-- I-- just be careful, okay?"

Heero squeezed Duo's hand, and pulled him into a hug. "Okay, Duo. I know you're just watching out for me. I'll be careful, but don't be surprised if we just stay friends.... I--I I'm not ready for a relationship quite yet, and he has to understand how important to me you are. I won't lose your friendship over a lover. I promise."

Duo pulled out of the hug and smiled at his best friend. "Thanks, Heero. You want to go to a movie or something tonight? I have to call `Fei, but...."

Heero smiled warmly. "Okay, Duo. I take it doing something with your husband was calling him while he was away on a mission."

Duo blushed. "Well, yeah! But I didn't lie!"

Heero smiled at his best friend and watched as Duo called his husband from their old phone. Things would never be the same again, but at least he had a best friend.

*****

January 21, AC 204

Wufei stood in the doorway of Duo's room and watched him sleep for a while. //He is so beautiful, even when he's run himself ragged. What am I going to do, Duo? What do you need? What do you want? I would give you the stars if you asked me to... I wish I knew what went on inside of that head of yours.... Why are you searching for him so devotedly now? Is it because you want his permission to be with me? What is it, Duo?//

Duo felt a presence in his room and was instantly awake. He lay there for a moment, pretending to sleep while trying to figure out who it was. //Heero? No... he would have come to me. Wufei. Oh.... What is he doing? He must be upset about last night. He's just going to have to understand that this is something that I have to do. Otherwise, I will drive myself insane. Well, may as well get up and face the music.// Duo sat up slowly and looked straight at Wufei. "What is it, Wufei?"

Wufei jumped out of his musings and looked at the mussy man before him. "Duo, good morning. Was there something you wanted for breakfast before I go to work?"

Duo frowned at his friend. "No, I don't need anything right now, `Fei. I have work to do." Duo rose from the bed and padded over to his laptop on the desk.

Wufei frowned deeply. "Duo, you can't keep doing this to yourself. I don't know what I would do if...." Wufei let the statement, hang and Duo looked at him angrily.

"I NEED to do this, `Fei! It's important to me!" Duo yelled.

Wufei looked at Duo in shock. "Zi ai...."

Duo looked down at his feet, sorry that he had yelled. "I'm sorry, `Fei. Just give me a month to do this. If I can't find him, I will only run a search once a month. Okay?? Will you let me do this, `Fei? It's really important to me."

Wufei looked at the braided man sadly. "I'm sorry, Duo. I didn't mean to.... I didn't mean to interfere with your life. I just thought that you were going to give this a chance."

Duo rose from his seat at the desk, and pulled the Chinese man into a supportive hug. "I'm sorry, `Fei. I am going to give this a chance, but I need to get this out of my system now, before it becomes a problem for us, okay?"

Wufei hugged Duo tightly. "Okay. I'm going to go to work. I'll be home by five, barring an emergency. Is there anything you want special for dinner?"

"No, `Fei, just you. Feel better?" Duo asked as he pulled back from the embrace.

Wufei swallowed and looked at the beautiful man before him. "Thank you, Duo." Then, he turned from the room and shut the door behind him, leaving behind a very stunned Duo.

*****

December 11, AC 210

Heero looked out of the peephole of his apartment to see Zechs standing in the doorway, waiting patiently. Heero frowned and opened the door. "What do you want Zechs?"

Zechs smiled at the younger man. "Well, hello to you too, Heero. I was wondering when we were going to go out for lunch....."

Heero raised an eyebrow and opened the door wider to let Zechs in. He turned from the door and walked back into the living room, where he had set up his makeshift office. "I was going to order take out for lunch. You can join me if you'd like."

Zechs stood in front of the seated man and frowned. This was not what he had in mind. "Heero, I wanted to take you out to lunch. Not have lunch in your apartment with you," he finished exasperatedly.

Heero frowned and studied Zechs. "Well that's how it's going to be. I have a lot of work to do, and cannot take time out of my day to go out. I am willing to spend some time with you, here and now. That will have to suffice."

Zechs sighed and sat down next to Heero, pulling his fingers away from the laptop. "Heero, I will give you this concession, but you must give me one. I want you to not work when I'm spending time with you. I will not be ignored."

Heero sighed and shut down the laptop, and put his work aside. "Fine. I ordered pizza; it should be here in about twenty minutes."

Zechs smiled. "YOU ordered pizza?"

Heero raised an eyebrow at Zechs. "You thought I would live on all health food? After being in love with Duo for so long?"

Zechs blushed. "I guess I just never pegged you for the junk food type."

Heero shrugged. "I like it, once in a while."

They sat for a moment in an awkward silence, waiting for the other to speak when Zechs decided this was getting him nowhere. "Heero-- I wanted you to know that- I've always liked you, even on the first day we met in person not on the battlefield. God, this isn't coming out right." Zechs buried his head in his hands to hide his embarrassment. Heero reached over and removed Zechs' hands from his face.

Eyes shining, Heero asked Zechs to continue. "Zechs, please finish what you have to say."

Zechs looked into the bright Prussian blue eyes before him, and melted. "I think I love you. Please-please, don't push me away, because of Relena. I want to know… I want to see what Duo saw. I want to see the real you that hides behind the mask, because I'm sure it's beautiful-- more beautiful than you already are."

Heero let out a choked sigh. "Zechs, I can't-- I can't love you like this. I love Duo, and only him. I don't want to lead you on. It would kill me."

Zechs looked sadly at the beautifully masculine man sitting next to him. He reached out to him and ran his calloused fingers along Heero's jawline. "Heero, you wouldn't have to do anything. Just let me love you." Zechs leaned over and kissed Heero chastely on the lips.

Heero sat there, stunned, and unable to move from his position on the couch. He reached up shakily to touch his just-kissed lips. "I-I, Zechs, I can't do this. I love Duo. I can't betray him."

Zechs eyes narrowed in anger. "And what he does with his husband? Isn't that betraying you?"

"Fuck you, Zechs! You don't understand! It's complicated. I screwed up! I left him! I told him to move on.... I love him still.... Please just let me love him still...." Heero sagged against the back of the couch, emotionally exhausted, while Zechs studied the broken man next to him.

"I'm sorry, Heero. Please just give me a chance… Give me a chance to love you." Zechs leaned over the prostrate man and lay little butterfly kisses along his collarbone, up his neck, and along his jaw line. "Heero, please, let me. I will make it so good for you. I can love you. I can make the loneliness go away." Zechs straddled the still non-responsive Heero, and continued to pet and kiss him. Zechs rubbed up against the firm body and played with his tousled hair.

It had been too long for Heero. He felt his body start to react to the intense ministrations. He moaned into the kisses and responded to Zechs by rubbing his awakening erection into the clothed erection above him. Suddenly, Heero grabbed Zechs and pulled him into a heated kiss, almost violent in it's intensity. "Just this once, Zechs." Heero picked up the platinum-haired man straddling him like he was a child, and wrapped his long legs around his waist, carrying him into his bedroom, all the while never breaking the heated embrace.

Heero threw Zechs on the bed and methodically removed his clothing, while staring heatedly at the man panting and flushed on his bed. Heero stalked over to the bed and lay himself over the clothed man. "You want me, Zechs?"

The blue-eyed man moaned at the sound of Heero's nasal baritone traveling up and down his spine, and straight to his cock. "Yes," he choked out. Heero smirked and began kissing Zechs, intensely nipping and biting at the bruised lips. Zechs moaned at the sea of sensation that Heero was producing in him. He wanted Heero, and he wanted him now. "Please--oh god!" Heero rubbed at the clothed erection with his firm hand. Slowly, he reached up to the button of Zechs snug jeans and unbuttoned them. Then, he reached into them to cup the swollen erection, so it would not get caught in the zipper. "No underwear, Zechs?" Smirking evilly, Heero stroked it, while unzipping the jeans with his teeth as Zechs looked on and moaned incoherently. Heero swiftly pulled the jeans off of his soon-to-be lover and gazed heatedly at the wanton sight before him.

Zechs was flushed and panting, his shirt rumpled and coming unbuttoned, his erection standing at attention, pulsing and crying to be touched. Heero stroked his cock at the sight, trying to take the edge off. "You want me to take you, Zechs, like this? You want me to pound you into the mattress? You want my hungry cock to fill you?"

Zechs ripped off the shirt and spread his long creamy legs wide open, exposing the pink pucker. "Take me now! Fuck me! Pound me!" he panted, never wanting anything so badly in his whole life. This beautiful strong masculine man to fuck him, pound him, to take him fully and make him his. "Please, Heero," he whimpered.

Heero reached for the lotion on his bedside table and lubed his pulsing erection, while staring at the blond-haired man. "Do you know how fuckable you look? Spread open, waiting, begging to be taken?" Zechs moaned and arched into Heero as he lay himself over the aroused man. Heero grasped his swollen cock, and placed it at Zechs quivering entrance. In one swift thrust, Heero was buried deep within the blond's tight passage.

"Oh god!" Zechs screamed.

Heero stopped, giving Zechs time to adjust to his thick cock. "You like that, my little love? You want more? You want to feel my cum filling your hole? Do you want it, Zechs?" Zechs whimpered at the controlling tone; he couldn't ever remember being filled like this, so forcefully. Treize had always been so gentle. And all other relationships afterwards, he would top. Zechs squeezed his inner walls around Heero and looked into the burning Prussian blue eyes.

"Move, Heero."

Heero smirked and shallowly thrust into the tight passage. "God, you are so tight." Heero reached around Zechs and lifted him up off of the bed and into his arms, wrapping the long creamy legs around his waist. "You want my cock, little one? You want it?" He whispered into Zechs' ear.

Zechs shivered in Heero's arms. "Oh, God, yes."

"Then, take it, ride me. Take my cock and bounce that tight little hole up and down. Make me splash my cum up your tight little asshole."

Zechs moaned and started riding Heero hard and fast, filling him fully and completely. //Heero is so perfect - thick and long, but not too much of either. It feels so good. God, does Duo know what he's missing?// Unexpectedly, Heero flipped Zechs around, face down onto the bed, never missing a thrust into the tight hole.

"Now, I'm going to pound you into the bed, slut. How does that sound?" Heero pounded Zechs hard and fast into the bed, never hitting his prostate, just taking the pleasure of filling someone so completely and wholly.

Meanwhile, Zechs was in ecstasy. His swollen member was rubbing against the quilt, as that thick cock filled his ass. "Oh fuck, Heero. Oh yeah, pound me; take me. I'm your all yours! Oh god! I'm your slut! All yours!"

Heero moaned at the surrender, and just let go. His cock exploded directly into Zechs prostate. Stream after stream of thick cum hitting the spot that became the center of Zechs' world. With that, Zechs came, hard and fast, collapsing onto the bed with Heero on top of him. Still inside of him. "Oh god!"

After a few moments, Heero came down from the high quickly and pulled out of Zechs, in horror of what he had just done. He looked dazedly at the mess and the naked man in his bed, and fled to the bathroom, locking the door behind him.

Zechs coming down much slower from his daze. He noticed five minutes later that Heero was missing. "Heero?"

~knock! knock! knock!~

Zechs, startled by the noise at the door threw on the nearest shirt and pair of pants he could find, and ran to answer the door. Zechs straightened his hair, put on his best smile, and opened the door. Only to see a smiling Duo standing in the doorway pizza in hand. "Did somebody order a--" Duo stopped talking and narrowed his violet eyes in anger at Zechs. "What are YOU doing here?"

TBC......