Hamtaro Fan Fiction ❯ Clubhouse Studios ❯ an even bigger Clubhowse ( Chapter 14 )

Megane walked back into the clubhouse and found out there was a shoot going on between Hamtaro and Kururin as it was shown on their tv. "So how's Jam doing?" asked Jaja.

Megane decided to lie, "Jam will be back to normal in a few hours."

"That's good to hear."

"How long have they been going at it?"

"A good while now, not that you missed anything. It's starting to look impressive."

 

Hamtaro: Come on babe, you know you love it....

Kururin: Yes, I love it, give me more, more!

Hamtaro: You sure are a horny one, aren't you....

Kururin: It beats that "imitation dick" any day of the week.

Hamtaro: (XD) Imitation dick.... Believe me, I'm all me; nothing fake here and dick pump free.

 

"There are dick pumps...." Holly whispered to Noppo.

"NTP, Holly." Noppo whispered back.

 

[Hamtaro leave Kururin's body, then gets the lovely head.]

Hamtaro: You really can polish the eagle, huh?

Kururin: Are you trying to make me gag or something.....

Hamtaro: Man, this sure beats pawing off...

Kururin: (pulls Hamtaro out of her mouth) I'm glad you enjoy me, (starts jerking chicken) now give up your tribute.

Hamtaro: Couple more seconds...... Milky Cannon! (splurt)

 

Offset, everyone at the table fell out of there seats laughing. "Where the fuck did he get that one from?" asked Niji while holding his side in laughter.

"Who cares, it's funny...." answered Gucci.

"Why didn't I think of that.... 'Milky Cannon', that's rich." said Maido.

"Probably even funnier than 'The Magic Talking Cake' line." said Panda. "Wow, 'Milky Cannon' made my day."

 

Taisho: Cut and (snicker snicker) print.

*

"Hamtaro, where did you find a phrase like that?" asked Noppo.

"Travis brought over Dragon Ball Z Budokai." Hamtaro answered. He was playing it with Laura as some Ginyu guys and one of his moves is called Milky Cannon."

"Does he whip out his trouser snake an bust one on his opponent?" asked Tora-kun.

"....Dude, that's wrong." Panda answered. "Disgusting and wrong."

"Dicks don't belong in a fist fight." stated Neteru.

"Well, it's time I took my leave, but don't worry everybody. Just like the sun, I will return to you again." said Tongari and left the clubhouse.

Once again, Tongari's syntax leaves many confused hams. "Y'know, he's really weird." said Holly.

"Milky Cannon!" shouts Taisho.

The hams fell to the floor laughing.

 

Outside, Tongari walked up to Jam. "Well fellow traveler, may our paths cross again." he said.

"See ya." Jam said. Tongari walked off. Mega-kun.... man, what can I say....

 

*

 

The hams sat down for eating and all the guys that were awake, went in search of seeds and stuff while the girls stayed inside and waited for them to get back with the grub. "If Hamtaro ever says zhat durin my shoot weeth him, I'm gonna slap him." said Ribon.

"You have to admit though, that was funny." said Lapis.

"I liked 'Magic Talking Cake' more."

"I hope those guys aren't gone for long, I need to eat and keep my willpower going." said Hana.

"It don't bother me none." said Jaja. "Back on the farm, we didn't eat for a long period of time, since there was much work to be done. It takes--What's that smell?"

"I don't think it takes that." said Nonno.

"No, I mean, what's that smell?"

"Hey, I smell it too." said Kururin.

"Same here." said Mahura.

"Follow it!" shouted Lapis.

The girls all got up and used that sense of smell to lead them. Soon, music was heard and the girls found their answer singing to them. "I'm cooking love in my ki-tchen. Cookin up recipies for all of you and me. Fixing that love, love, love, in my kitchen. Buns in the oven, full of my lovin' for everyone I'll feed."

The girls just moved along to he beat. Jam is so cool... thought Holly.

He cooks with his eyes closed. thought Gucci.

"'Too many cooks in the kitchen means bad tasting food.' You girls are gonna have to leave now."

"Awwwww!" the girls whined.

"Can't we stay and watch?" asked Mahura.

"How'd you know we were here anyway?" asked Gucci.

"This cooking isn't a spectator sport. Introduction are more chemical then physical. Come you girls, out."

"But I'm hungry!" cried Hana.

"Hana-chan, you know good food takes time. Now go on you girls, out. I needs me focus when I'm cooking."

 

The girls left, except for one who eyed a specific dish. She crept up, had a finger ready... SCHWING! "Eek!"

"The next knife I throw will take a limb, which I'll add to the pot. Now out."

Hana left the "kitchen". That was a little too close for comfort.... she thought.

 

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Before I go on, I'm gonna clear that last part up. In many kitchens of the world, it's not wise to try and cop a taste of the chef's food before it complete. Sometimes, the chef will throw that two pronged fork of a knife at your finger to stop you. Usually it's the knife, but lenient chefs use that fork. If that knife misses your finger, you might not wanna tempt the cook... However if it's cut off, it becomes an ingredient of the chef which is added to the food. Trying to take it back is like risking another limb. Now back to the story.

====================================================

 

Jam continued his cooking and was enjoying the scents of his labor. "Hey, this is some spread." he heard a voice say

"Yeah, it looks good enough to eat." said another voice.

"You must be a very good cook, did Chef Ham teach you?"

"Nope, this is my own style." Jam answered. "Now you two ladies go wait back in the main area and wait for the food to be done."

"I wanna taste..."

"You see that knife in the wall right there you two?"

"Yeah."

"One hungry lady tried to sneak a sample and almost lost her finger." Jam throws another knife, landing right in front of the girl's paw.

"Whoa!" she cried.

"I have good aim, so please... follow the tunnel to the main room and have a seat. By the way, introduce yourselves to everyone there."

"Yeah. Come on Aibon, let's go."

"Aibon huh?" Jam turned around. "Which of you two is Aibon?"

"That would be me." answered the pink ham girl raising a paw.

Hmm, more mini hams.... "and I take it you're Airin?"

"Yup, that's me." answered the blue ham girl.

So this is "W" then... "Good." Jam turned to his cooking. "Nonno's been expecting you two."

"Nonno's here?" the two girls ran out of the "kitchen."

Perhaps I should've also mentioned that Gucci is here as well.... Naw. Jam tastes his food. Well my old friend, you're the only one that's missing the party...

 

"I can't believe Nonno's actually here." said Aibon.

"Me neither..." said Airin. "I hope she's well...."

"You said it."

The girls found their way to the cluhbouse, but ran into Hana on the way in. "Hey, watch it you two." Hana said.

"Sorry about that, we got a bit too excited." said Aibon.

"Hey Hana, what's with the..." Jaja paused for a moment as he saw Aibon and Airin. "Well now, looks like we've got a 'W' in our clubhoWse now."

"That was a lame joke." said Hana.

"I didn't get it." said Airin.

"Hey Nonno, you got company!" Jaja yelled.

"Coming!" Nonno yelled back. When she got here, screaming was heard and the three mini hams hugged.

Oh, what a lovely site. thought Jaja.

"My god you look great." said Aibon.

"So do you." said Nonno.

"So do you have a man, yet?" asked Airin.

"Well..."

"Nonno's got a man." W shouted then screamed.

"You know, you three girls have made more noise in this place than anything else." said Jaja.

"Nonno, who is this?" asked Airin.

"This is Jaja and that's Hana." Nonno answered. "We're all girls now."

"Well any friend of Nonno's is a friend of mine." said Aibon.

"Welcome to the clubhouse." said Jaja.

"Thanks."

"Hey you girls, I hope you're hungry, it's viddels time." Jam said holding some food."

"Thank goodness." said Hana.

"Same here, I can finally enjoy your cooking now."

 

Aibon and Airin turned to see Gucci. "Well how the hell have you been?" asked Aibon.

"So it's like that, huh?" asked Gucci. "You're all screams for Nonno but it's 'How the hell have you been?' to me? Well you can kiss my-"

"Hey!" Jam intervened. "I said it's time for viddles, now everyone have a seat and let's enjoy the grub."

 

Can you feel that peeps, feel that tension.... well we'll see what the next chapters have in store. Guaranteed loving next chap, so review y'all.