Hamtaro Fan Fiction ❯ Uki's pleasures and pain ❯ Chapter 9

The next day, Dexter and Pashmina walk into the clubhouse paw in paw. Everyone saw this and the couple was content with themselves, they didn't even hide it at all. "I take it you two are official now..." Stan said, trailing off.

"Why yes, yes you can." Dexter said.

"Zu, zu, zu, zu, zu..."

Everyone turned to see something very different, Snoozer had a ham with him in his sleeping bag. This of course, confused all the other hams. "Well now, this is something I thought I would never see." said Stan.

"Who's the girl?" asked Hamtaro.

"Like we're gonna find out anytime soon." said Pashmina.

"Now I'm just mad." said Howdy.

"How so?"

"If his lazy ass can find a girl before I can, I must really be pathetic."

"She's a looker too," Stan added, "Man, I am soooo jealous."

"Snoozie-poo, we have company." she said.

"They always come here," Snoozer said, "go back to bed, Becky."

"O-kay." and Becky went back to sleep.

More sweatdrops left the hams, "Can somebody tell me how lame that was?" asked Boss.

"I.... don't think we should go there." said Hamtaro.

Snoozer began to sing in his sleep, "Come and pet the pus-say, hey, hey, hey. Heh, heh, hey. Heh, heh, hey..... Zuzuzuzuzuzu."

The other hams just fell over....... "Damn that Snoozer," said Howdy. "I guess you can say he got some sleepy head."

"Dude, that's not kosher." said Stan, ".....Oh, I get it now.... 'Sleepy Head' for Snoozer."

Whap!

"Don't even go there, Stan." said Sandy, putting her brother in place yet again.

"Oh, when Howdy says it, it's okay, but when it's me.... 'Don't go there, Stan.', or the like. It's not fair, Howdy get's to say dirty jokes..."

"His joke maybe dirty, but your mind is even dirtier."

"Hamtaro, help me out here."

"I'm not gonna touch that with a twelve inch pole..." said Hamtaro, snuggling Bijou.

"At least he's happy." said Maxwell.

"Yeah," added Boss, "you lucky son of a-"

"Can we eat now?" groaned Oxnard, "I'm hungry."

"I'm so hungry, I could split a peach." said Dexter.

"Dexter, you naughty little ham..." Pashmina said, smacking her mate.

"What, I like fresh fruit."

"Don't make me get the bar of soap..."

As those two continued to bicker, the other hams laughed it up. Today just started and things are already amazing... thought Boss. I don't even remember her being here last night. When the hell did she get here anyway? But Howdy makes a good point, despite his sad attempts at being a comedian. If Snoozer, the most laid back ham--Wait, try that again. If lazy ass Snoozer can find a ham girl to fuck, then why can't I? The thought of Snoozer with a girlfriend is odd, seeing Snoozer with a mate is wrong, but the fact that he has found a mate before me, and the fact that I still don't have one yet and Snoozer got lucky off of a one-nighter? It's fucking dis-sturbing! All right, enough is enough, I've had it with this shit.

Boss was now furious, then he made an announcement, "Listen up you hams, cause I'm only saying this once. We're having an orgy next week so there had better be couples and couples only at this even or you aren't invited."

"Boss, are you okay?" asked a worried Hamtaro.

"No, I'm fucking-A mad and I'm not even fuckin'! Howdy, Panda, Stan, you guys are coming with me."

"Where are we going?" asked Panda.

"To get some girls." Boss answered. "As for the rest of you hams, I mean no disrespect when I say this, but get the hell out of the clubhouse! It's closed until further notice, so think about decorations for our party."

Okay people, Boss layed it down here, but what's up with him? Is he horny, or just pissed off, tell me what you think when you review this chapter.