Harry Potter - Series Fan Fiction ❯ Going Under ❯ Chapter 3: Screaming deceiving and bleeding for you ( Chapter 3 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

Title: Going UnderAuthor: DeityOfDeathArchive: Yes please......Pairings: Severus/Harry, Lucius/Harry, Draco/HarryCategory: Drama, romance, slash, Mpreg, rape, non-con, violencerating: NC-17/RSpoilers: Most likely.Warnings: Yaoi, Lemon, Rape, Non-con, Mpreg, Incest, SPOILERS!!!!!! Disclaimers: I never have nor will I ever own HP or its chars. They are property of JKR and major companies.
Note from Author: Thank You for reading and supporting fan fiction~! Enjoy and please review~!
The chapter titles are lyrics from the song "Going Under" by Evanescence

Chapter 3: Screaming deceiving and bleeding for you

I hadn't noticed anyone enter nor had I heard the conversations that the group was now having in the hallway. What I had noticed was the cold damp cloth that was placed on my forehead and then wetted again so that the person could wipe it across my face, neck and the back of my neck. I was helped into a sitting position and now I could clearly see Remus' worried face as he had the refreshed rag in his hand as he slid it over my face which was beginning to feel hot again.

"Shh...Its okay Harry, don't cry. We called Madam Pomphrey and Professor Snape and both are coming over to give you the test, okay?"

I nodded and he pulled me into a hug. I stiffened. I couldn't help it. I had been held by men in the same fashion except it usually ended with me being hurt or raped. He rubbed my back until I began to feel tired and my last coherent thought was of a tiny red eyed Tom Riddle ripping itself from my body.

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"I didn't think I'd be called back here so soon and especially to take care of yet another set of wounds. Try to keep an eye on him without being over bearing.”

"How is that possible, Poppy!? The boy has been through so much and we want so much for him to heal but how can he heal if even a hug causes a negative reaction," demanded Mrs. Weasley.

I lay there in my bed wrapped in blankets with my eyes closed faking sleep while I listened to them discuss me as if I weren't in the room at all.

"You have to give him time and with this newest dilemma...we really need a ‘Basics of witch and wizard society’ class. With so many muggle born and children in similar situations as Seamus and Harry the class is more than needed."

"Have you talked to Minerva about this," asked Remus.

"Of course, she said as soon as we can open the school again it will be added to the curriculum and a teacher will be hired. Anyway...enough distractions, let's start this test! You can stop feigning sleep, Mr. Potter."

I opened my eyes and slowly sat up. I looked up at Madam Pomphrey who gave me a small smirk; I then noticed that behind her stood none other than Severus Snape. Part of me wanted to rip his throat out and cause him every ounce of pain he had caused me and yet I couldn't because he wasn't the one who had tortured me or told others to torture me but instead of giving me the peace I so wanted he returned me to society and I hated him for it. If this turned out positive I would hate him even more and as if thinking my thoughts he looked away. He knew. He had sold me out for his own safety. We were both cowards but some how his offense was worse than mine.

"Would you like us to stay," asked Mrs.Weasley.

I thought about it for a moment and then shook my head no. If it came out positive there was no telling how I was going to react and I really didn't want to have any more embarrassing moments in front of her or Remus.

Mrs. Weasley looked a little sad and I immediately felt bad for thinking all the things that were dark, "I'm sorry..."

Her eyes grew big and she shook her head, "There's no need for you to be! Oh, Harry...I'm the one who's sorry. You should have never gone through any of what you've gone through and each smile that dies on your face kills something in me. We would give anything to see one of your rare smiles that go from ear to ear again."

I nodded and looked down at my hands, "One day..," I said softly.

She came over and gently placed her hand on my right cheek and leaned down to place a kiss on my forehead and then she pulled me into a hug. I didn't want to stiffen or flinch but I did. I felt her stiffen and then squeeze me tighter. I felt a small bit of happiness and security in that moment but I knew that neither would last. It would all come falling down in a few minutes. Deep down inside I could feel something wasn't right.

She let go of me and I turned to look at Remus, "Um...just in case could you have everyone stay downstairs?"

He nodded and Mrs. Weasly placed another kiss atop my head before she let me go and stood up straight and walked towards the door with Remus.

"I'll make you some soup since you've didn't eat last night," she said before she left the room shutting the door behind her.

I sat there and stared at the door while the sounds of rustling clothing resumed around me. I sat there and stared at that door until Snape stepped in front of me, obscuring my view. He held out an empty small rounded bottle and I looked at it trying to figure out what I was supposed to do with it.

"I want you to take this into the bathroom and urinate into it, preferably not past the middle."

I nodded and stood up. I took the bottle from him and walked towards the bedroom door. I opened it and walked out into the hallway, happy to see no one was there I made my way to my new second home, the bathroom. I opened the door and went inside. I had to use the bathroom a few minutes ago but now my bladder had suddenly gone dry as I slid down my pajama bottoms and held the bottle with one hand and my member in the other. I stood there facing the toilet with my pants down to my knees, trying to coerce my urine in to making an appearance. After a few minutes there was a knock on the door.

"Harry, are you alright?"

I felt my face warm and I sighed as I answered, "Yes..."

"What's the matter dear?"

"My bladder has decided to be shy," I answered. I once again prayed there was no one out there listening, especially not Snape.

"Turn the faucet on and place your hand under it," said the droll voice of Snape.

If I could have died of embarrassment I would have. I did what he said and surprisingly enough it did the trick. I could have said thank you if in my inattentive state I hadn't just urinated on my hand.

I cursed and fixed my aim, watching as it filled to the middle. I removed the bottle and finished in the toilet and upon finishing I did the minimum two shakes and flushed the toilet before setting a piece of toilet tissue on the edge of the tub and setting my "sample" atop it. I then turned and thoroughly washed my hands with warm water and soap and then dried them on a nearby hand towel. I stared at the bottle and decided a bit of decorum was needed so I wrapped a piece of toilet tissue around it before I opened the door and handed it to my ex-potions Professor, who looked like he wanted to laugh.

I almost did as well but my nerves made me very nauseous so for the sake of not dry heaving again I simply gave a small smirk. I followed him back into my room, Madam Pomphrey on my heels.

"Have a seat, Potter."

I did as he said and watched him pull out a long wide bottle containing a thick clear liquid. He set it in plain sight and then lifted the one containing my urine. He looked me in the eye with a questioning look and I nodded. He poured my urine into the bottle containing the clear liquid and then he turned to look at me, "If you’re with child it'll turn a pale clear blue, if your not then it'll turn a clear red like the candy apple coating you muggles are so fond of."

At least I wasn’t the only one fascinated with the bright colored treat.

I nodded and watched it swirl, going from a pale yellow because of my urine to a shade of pale green, then turquoise and finally a pale blue. I felt ill. It felt as if my world had come crashing down around me. I stood up and rushed for a small trash can beside my bed. I grabbed it and began a long series of dry heaves into it. There was nothing to throw up because I hadn't eaten anything in days and whatever liquids I had consumed had already come up as well. I sat there heaving until I couldn't heave anymore and then I started crying.

"You have choices Harry," said Madam Pomphrey.

"You could abort, put the child up for adoption or you could keep the child."

I set the waste basket on the floor and fell back onto the bed. My eyes were swollen, my throat was raw and sore and I was pregnant.

"Will I be able to tell who the father is?"

"It depends on how far along you are," said Snape cutting off Madam Pomphrey before she could reply.

"How far along am I," I asked covering my eyes with my right arm.

"A simple spell will tell us," Madam Pomphrey answered, "Just stay lying and lift up your shirt so that I can see your abdomen."

I did as she asked and watched as she lifted her wand and passed it a few times over my abdomen reciting some incantation unknown to me. I watched as a monitor like vision appeared above my stomach and with it the image of an alien like creature attached to a small cord. It looked almost like a bald hamster or a radioactive sea monkey.

I stared at it and let one million thoughts fly through my head because of this one little being that had made its place inside of my body and soon my life.

I thought about the impact the pregnancy would make on my life and those around me. Could I kill this being growing inside of me because of what I went through and yet could I raise a child knowing that it was created during my suffering.

The spell remained as she answered, "I'd say you’re about a little over seven weeks along.”

I opened my eyes and stared at what could be described as a sea monkey, a sea monkey that was growing inside of me and would soon grow to be a little person.

I hated it for being alive and yet I knew I shouldn’t. This floating being wasn’t at fault. I could blame and hate it but that wouldn’t solve anything and it would only make matters worse. I closed my eyes and took a few deep breaths and cleared my mind.

"How do we find out who the father is," I asked as I reopened my eyes and stared down at the now fading image.

"We usually need some piece of the suspected father. Hair, skin, a scab something with DNA,” answered Snape in his voice devoid of its usual snideness.

“If we happened to have samples from a few of the suspected fathers and one tested positive what actions would be taken,” I asked starring down the bed at my feet.

"It would depend on the person and the actions you would want taken,” responded Poppy.

“And if the child is Voldemort’s?”

Her eyes grew large and I heard the sharp inhale from Snape behind me.

“That would also be your decision,” said Poppy shakily.

“I think for now I would prefer not to know.”

I looked up and found two pairs of shocked eyes looking down at me.

“I know that I am giving up a chance to put one or more of my rapists behind bars but if there is a small chance Voldemort fathered this child there’s the chance that such news would easily and quickly be spread causing the life of an innocent to be filled with hate and distrust. I will not allow this child to go through such hardships.

Snape and Poppy both looked thoughtful, surprised and proud of the choice that I had made.

I placed my right hand on my flat stomach and did something I hadn’t done in a long time, I prayed. I prayed for the unborn child deep inside of me and for that child’s future. If I survived long enough to give this child life I wanted this child to know love and friendship, happiness and the good kind of sadness. I wanted this child to have a future filled with the possibilities I could never have because of who I was and what I had lived through.

"I'll let you both know something and then you can pass it on to the others. I will deliver this child and I will defeat Voldemort and if I survive both then I will have paid whatever imaginary debt to you all that everyone thinks I owe and then you all can leave me the hell alone! No more bleeding for you or deceiving for you and no more being your scapegoat or better yet no more being your savior. I won't be my families freak relative anymore nor will I be boy wonder or whatever else everyone thinks I am or what they perceive me to be."

I saw my words sink in and they both gave me nods and words of understanding. I brushed my bangs from my eyes and forehead before I continued to speak, this time in a tone that was less harsh and accusatory.

“I want you both to know that should something happen to me I want my child given a home away from all of this. I want to them to be free of the magical world and somewhere deep in the muggle world with kind, gentle and caring muggles who will raise a child with the same traits. Should all be saved and everything resolved then send my child his or her letter should they have magical abilities but if and only if there is no longer a threat in the wizarding world. Do not pull my child from a happy home otherwise.”

With that I sat up and then pulled my shirt down, "Did anyone bring me any clothes? And also, has anyone figured out how to get this damn thing off," I asked pointing to the collar around my neck.

"I'll have one of your...friends bring up your clothes," said Snape as he took his leave.

"They’re still looking for a spell to remove the collar but I believe that Molly has come up with a few she would like to try," said Poppy as she straightened up some of the mess left behind and then packed it away into a bag that she minimized.

I nodded and she went to the door, "We're sorry for everything that's happened Harry, we really are. You carry such heavy burdens at such a young age but I believe as well as the others that you can overcome it. There's an old muggle saying, "God only gives you what he thinks you can handle".

"Muggles also say that God is merciful and loving, so what God would put me through this? I don't think any of this is the work of God Poppy but thank you for trying to put a better light on it."

She nodded and left me to my thoughts and turmoil within that threatened to spell out engulfing all that I was.

To Be Continued...

Once again, re-written and added/fixed some new stuff. This story is improving and can only get better…or at least I hope so.

Kat AKA DeityOfDeath