Harry Potter - Series Fan Fiction ❯ Shots in the Dark ❯ Entertainment 2 ( Chapter 18 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]
Disclaimer: I make no claims at ownership of any copyrighted 
characters, places or events used herein. The only thing I make 
a claim to is this fic, which originated in my head and any 
original characters created by me herein. The following was made 
for public consumption at zero profit, and is not for sale 
except to the owning companies. Yes, I dream big. 
 
Expanded Summary/Synapsis/Notes: People actually seem to like 
this shit; so here, I shall throw more of it at you!  Oh, and 
for the people wondering why I have a bizarre level system: not 
telling.  Any development team out there makes something that to 
them is logical.  To everybody else, it’s the biggest piece of 
shit in the world.  It’s one of those nuances that just have to 
be lived with, kinda like an H.O.A. 
 
The Entertainment of Others, Part Two 
 
By: (Driver) Jim Ohki 
 
Naruto’s Apartment; August 25, 12 AK; 2100 
 
“What the hell happened?†he groaned as he fell out of his bed, 
which was his last save point.  He had wanted to go into the 
mission with the scroll fully rested and as such took a nap. 
 
Things had gone swimmingly until reaching that clearing in 
Ground Fifteen.  All of a sudden the world went dark after a 
rather sharp pain to the back of his head. 
 
GAME OVER! SO SORRY! 
 
“Not going to clue me in, huh?†Naruto growled at the 
notification, sitting up carefully.  Now this was annoying as it 
proved that he would in fact respawn at his last save. 
 
Better than starting over from scratch, at any rate. 
 
Checking his Character Entry revealed that failure gave him 
nothing, which was both good and bad.  Good, in the sense that 
he didn’t lose anything he had saved beforehand.  Bad in that 
the few gains he had made during the mission were lost and he 
had to start from the beginning. 
 
‘Letâ€&tra de;s see here,’ he started thinking he way through the mess,  
as he had a little time to kill.  â€˜I got the scroll and past 
Jiji quite easily, so I’ll just do the same thing again.  
Getting to the training ground was no issue either, so what the 


. . . Mizuki was waiting for me!  Yes, that’s the only thing it 
could be as I had embarrassed him earlier in the day.  Damn it, 
I have to keep my situational awareness going at all times now.  
I changed too much . . .
’. 
 
Nothing beat a learning experience that involved death after 
all.  It was amazing to those that could â€“even if faintly- 
remember the way the blond used to be: charging in headfirst 
with nary a thought.  This spawning thing he could begin to 
like, as at least he was aware of it this time. 
 
Getting used to it was pointless, having been stuck in a Time 
Loop and thus already familiar with the restarting. 
 
‘Right, here we go!’ he leapt into action at ten on the dot, 
making his way over to the Hokage Tower.  There was a strange 
lack of Shinobi on patrol, even for this time of night.  Naruto 
narrowed his eyes, having missed this detail the first time 
around.  Up on the rooftops he should have at least seen the 
occasional blur from the ANBU moving about. 
 
Nope, nothing.  The game was afoot tonight.  Time for a 
different tactic. 
 
“Naruto, what are you doing?†the Sandaime looked surprised to 
find the blond waiting for him in his office, Forbidden Scroll 
propped up against the side of his desk.  All he had wanted to 
do was retrieve his pipe before calling it a night. 
 
“You have a traitor in your ranks,†was the response, one that 
the Hokage was not prepared for.  â€œMizuki is trying to use me in 
a heist involving this,†he patted the large scroll.  â€œHe’s 
watched me from the Graduation Exam until twenty minutes ago, 
preventing me from coming to you to warn you and do some 
planning.  Something else I noticed is that the village garrison 
is nowhere to be found right now.†
 
“This is more than a traitor looking for a prize,†Hiruzen 
understood the implications.  â€œWe have a full-blown inside job 
going down tonight.  Very well, make it convincing.†
 
Naruto was briefly surprised that he was being given carte 
blanche
 to ‘escape’ with the scroll.  There was no indication of 
a jutsu being used as he went into action.  One moment he was 
standing, the next he was laying on the Hokage’s desk in his 
female guise that was wearing a sexy devil outfit.  She had 
larger breasts than normal, threatening to spill out of the 

bikini top.  Her legs were curled up on the desk, making her 
hind-end seem even bigger. 
 
“Jiji, won’t you light my fire?†she moaned, rolling her hips a 
couple times to draw his eyes to the junction between her legs 
and the stretched shorts over her round rear. 
 
Sarutobi was defeated soundly by the Advanced Oroike.  He had 
propelled himself down the hallway from the force of his 
nosebleed, before impacting a wall knocking him out. 
 
MISSION LOG UPDATE 
 
Mission Two: 
-Steal the [SCROLL OF SEALS] from the Hokage Tower! 
-Be at Training Ground Fifteen by Midnight with the Objective! 
-Incapacitate [Sandaime Hokage] 
-? 
-? 
BONUS: Knock out the Hokage in one move without giving your 
intentions away 
BONUS: ? 
BONUS: ? 
 
 
“Ahhh, it worked on Jiraiya so I shouldn’t have expected less.  
At least I’m not having to listen to screams for a ‘T-back’,†
Naruto deadpanned at the crumpled form of his pseudo-
grandfather.  He made quick on his escape, this time heading to 
a different training ground while creating a clone with a fake 
scroll. 
 
You have obtained the index [FORBIDDEN SCROLL]. Do you wish to 
learn new skills?
 
 
“Fucking-A I do,†how he managed to keep his voice down, at the 
same time hearing a roar of rage from Ground Fifteen, he would 
never know.  All that mattered here was that he was on the clock 
and didn’t have much time. 
 
Naruto rolled the scroll on the ground to open it . . . and the 
world went berserk.  While he was used to random things 
happening, usually by his own directive, what he was watching 
was something entirely new. 
 
A cow appeared from nowhere, walking forward while moving 
backward upside down in midair.  A western-style house fell from 

the sky only to pass into the ground like it was intangible.  
Off to the side, a Chibi-Yondaime was making hip thrusts at a 
Chibi-Kyuubi with a speech-bubble hanging over his head reading 
‘Who’s your daddy?!’.  Shikamaru Nara ran full tilt through the 
clearing, as if the hounds of hell . . . or the Nara females . . 
. were after him.  Noise off to his left earned his attention, a 
clone of Kurenai Yuhi suddenly appearing . . . completely naked 
with an erect male member right above the junction of her legs. 
 
“What the fuck is going on here?†Naruto whimpered as the clone-
thing poofed away, highly disturbed by seeing the Hermaphrodite-
Kurenai.  Instead of an answer the world just kept doing bizarre 
things. 
 
Iruka appeared from the brush off to the right, Mizuki dry-
humping his leg like a dog in heat.  Orochimaru pirouetted 
through the clearing in a pink tutu singing ‘I’m a Little 
Teapot’.  Kabuto Yakushi somehow pulled off a moonwalk at full 
sprint, looking ridiculous as he passed through the tree line 
without disturbing a leaf. 
 
Chouji Akamichi, having appeared at random, opened his mouth for 
a potato chip and farted, before making a face while pushing a 
belch out his other end. 
 
The world went black and white with what sounded like a 
recording being played back at ten times speed, garbling 
everything.  Scenes that made no sense to Naruto played around 
him, confusing him even further before everything went black. 
 
GAME HAS CRASHED. PLEASE WAIT FOR CUSTOMER SUPPORT. 
 
“Fuck, I ’m gonna be here like . . . forever!†he bellowed, 
completely terrified at having to wait in a dark place for who 
knew how long.  Damn it all, if he had to start from day one he 
was simply going to release his tenant and crush Konoha. 
 
PATCH INSTALLED; REBOOTING... 
 
Thank the Holy Log!  Naruto had lost track of time quickly, 
having nothing to help him.  Having no sense of the outside 
world sucked, leaving him with the ultimate in sensory 
deprivation.  He's had no sounds, sights, smells, tastes or 
touches to occupy his time with, other than masturbating which 
his body just refused to cooperate with. 
 
Some times his life sucked. 

 
"Whoa!" the black void was replaced by the clearing he had been 
in, only he was a few kilometers in the air.  "Hey, I can see my 
house from here."  Then the ground rushed up to meet him, except 
the landing didn't hurt in the least.  A pop-up distracted him 
from understanding just what had happened. 
 
THANK YOU FOR YOUR PATIENCE.  ERROR IN MISSION TWO: [FORBIDDEN 
SCROLL] PATCHED DUE TO CONFLICT BETWEEN INDEX AND LOCKED SKILLS 
OF MPC.  RESTARTING FROM LAST KNOWN 'GOOD' POINT.
 
 
"Well, that explains that," he groused, looking at the massive 
scroll that was propped up against a tree.  He was leery about 
opening it again, even if whomever was messing with him was 
certain they had fixed the problem. 
 
With more trepidation, he accepted learning from the index and 
unrolled the scroll.  When nothing bizarre happened he let the 
breath he was holding out before looking at what was available. 
 
Score! 
 
Pop-up windows and their accompanying sound-effect went off for 
a solid minute as much of what he had pieced together with the 
help of the others in the Time Loops was now available to him. 
 
"No wonder the Edo Tensei wasn't working quite right," he 
mumbled, having originally learned Orochimaru's way of doing it 
versus how Tobirama Senju had.  The Nidaime Hokage had a couple 
more components involved with raising the dead in a more 
animated version than the puppets the Snake Sennin brought 
forth. 
 
NEW SKILL AVAILABLE! Is it a bird? A zeppelin? Nope, it's a wall 
of metal!  Learned from the [FORBIDDEN SCROLL], Kunai Kage 
Bunshin.  Why waste weapons trying to hit a target when you can 
clone as many as you need?  [1/1000 Level One] [HINT: This 
technique works on everything, not just sharp pointy objects]
 
 
"Perfect," Naruto couldn't help the sinister grin at that 
information.  That was especially helpful for sparring and/or 
facing off against allies in the Chuunin Exams.  Oh he couldn't 
wait to put this to use.  Speaking of, it was nearing midnight 
and Mizuki had run off somewhere.  Time to get this over with. 
 
"What do you think you're doing?!" Iruka bellowed as he leapt 
out of the brush, having found his wayward student at last. 

 
*DING* 
 
MISSION LOG UPDATE 
 
Mission Two: 
-Steal the [SCROLL OF SEALS] from the Hokage Tower! 
-Be at Training Ground Fifteen by Midnight with the Objective! 
-Incapacitate [Sandaime Hokage] 
-Protect [FORBIDDEN SCROLL] 
-Protect {Iruka Umino] 
BONUS: Knock out the Hokage in one move without giving your 
intentions away 
BONUS: Defeat [Traitor Mizuki] 
BONUS: ?
 
 
Okay, that was new.  That clued the blond in to the fact that 
Sarutobi was watching with his crystal ball and had some ANBU 
milling about.  While knowing he had extra reinforcements was 
nice, he was not only confident in his skills he had the others 
hiding in the bushes.  He hadn't even paid any attention to the 
traitorous Chuunin running his mouth about the Kyuubi, which was 
just fine with him as a notification about everything related to 
the Bijuu being available made him smile. 
 
"I'm taking you down!" Naruto roared, flinging a small rock at 
the former Sensei.  The man had scoffed until a cry of Iwa Kage 
Bunshin
 multiplied it from one into a thousand.  He grinned at 
seeing the man pelted by a quarry's worth of stone, doing 
extreme damage. 
 
Mizuki 
Level: 39 
Title: Traitor 
Status: DEATH 
HP: 0/966 
CP: 1917/1917
 
 
MISSION LOG UPDATE 
 
Mission Two: 
-Steal the [SCROLL OF SEALS] from the Hokage Tower! 
-Be at Training Ground Fifteen by Midnight with the Objective! 
-Incapacitate [Sandaime Hokage] 
-Protect [FORBIDDEN SCROLL] 
-Protect {Iruka Umino] 


BONUS: Knock out the Hokage in one move without giving your 
intentions away 
BONUS: Defeat [Traitor Mizuki] 
BONUS: Flawless Victory, Defeat [Traitor Mizuki] without taking 
any damage 
 
[COMPLETE] [EXP: 2500, MONEY: 25000] 
 
[BONUS] Escape the Sandaime without harming him [EXP 10000; 
MONEY 100000]; Defeat [Mizuki] without any assistance [EXP 
20000; MONEY 200000]; Defeat [Mizuki] with no harm to [Iruka] or 
yourself [EXP 10000; MONEY 100000] 
 
[LOOT/BONUS/SECRETS] 15/15
 
 
This was like finding the mother-lode!  Naruto stayed casual 
with his current company but was vibrating from just how much 
cash he had made.  The experience towards the next level was 
also nice, but he was more focused on the money. 
 
To think, it only took dying a couple times to figure out how to 
finish the damned mission. 
 
One returned scroll to the Hokage and a report later the blond 
raced towards his apartment as the old Uchiha District was 
undergoing his style of renovations.  Since Save Points made it 
so that there was no need to do it every time he spawned he felt 
he could take his time and do it right.  Now though he had other 
concerns. 
 
CHARACTER BOOK â€“ NARUTO UZUMAKI 
 
Ran k: Gennin-Probate 
Title: Gennin [x10 learning experience to new skills] 
Status: Jinchuuriki (Kyuubi, uncooperative) [C. Control -50%; C. 
Capacity +50%] 
Level: 42 
EXP: 42590/43000 
Money: 667849 
Health: 12721/12721 
Chakra: 99999/99999 
C. Recover: 9999/SEC 
Attributes: 
 
WISDOM: 2234 
INTELLIGENCE: 2017 
STRENGTH: 3109 


CHARISMA: 3011 
LUCK: 999~ 
VITALITY: 3200 
STAMINA: 3550 
SPEED: 2291 
STEALTH: 3412 
TAIJUTSU: 2957 
NINJUTSU: 3550 
GENJUTSU: 1769 
BUKIJUTSU: 2818 
FUUINJUTSU: 9999 
C. CONTROL: 8888 
IRYOJUTSU: 1388 
 
Here he did something different, skipping over his maxed out 
techniques.  He was surprised to find that he had missed the 
[NEXT PAGE] in the translucent window, leaving what he had 
recovered untouched.  There were a lot on the list that he had 
either recreated through his sheer willpower or had been 
unlocked yet he couldn't remember learning them.  It was even 
worse that some of the jutsu were from some of the other girls . 
. . that he had completely spaced on.  Getting stuck in a Loop 
again -no matter the format- had apparently blocked his memories 
beyond the Chuunin Exams. 
 
He just didn't want to admit he forgot. 
 
You have [40120] Attribute Points and [340] Skill Points 
available!
 
 
"Kami this interface is annoying," Naruto groused as he finally 
found the end of his sheet.  He was rather unhappy that the 
capped skills were at the beginning as it would save him some 
time in getting to those that need work if they were out of the 
way.  Balancing his state of mind out was the sheer number of 
things that he had learned -along with what he had forgotten- in 
the Time-Loop and afterwards.  Oh well, at least they were in 
alphabetical order so it wasn't too much of a hassle. 
 
Good grief did he have some training to do though!  All right, 
time to do some math and figure out his attribute distribution.  
As his mind went blank, a mental note was made that while he had 
some sword skills he was missing the Kenjutsu Attribute, which 
caused him to scratch his head in wonder. 
 
WISDOM: 5750 
INTELLIGENCE: 5750 


STRENGTH:  ;5750 
CHARISMA: 5750 
LUCK: 999~ 
VITALITY: 5750 
STAMINA: 5750 
S PEED: 5750 
STEALTH: 5750 
TAIJUTSU: 5750& nbsp;
NINJUTSU: 5750 
GENJUTSU: 5750 
BUKIJ UTSU: 5750 
FUUINJUTSU: 9999 
C. CONTROL: 8888 
IRYOJUTSU: 5750
 
 
Well, now that is a sign of progress!  Any foul mood Naruto 
might have been feeling was washed away by the rather massive 
boost he got.  Finally his Genjutsu was up to snuff with 
everything else, even if it did take a massive chunk of points 
to do so.  He also opted to bank a sizeable chunk for the 
Kenjutsu Attribute when it appeared to stay with his balanced 
theme.  Now came the hard part, going through his Skills to 
chose which ones to dump the paltry amount of points into.  Ugh, 
this was going to take a while. 
 
You have [7260] Attribute Points and [0] Skill Points available! 
 
Joy to the world . . . 
 
Hokage's Office; Next Morning; 0800 
 
"We have ourselves a bit of a quandary," the Hokage eyed the 
Jounin cramped into his office, "in that for once we have a 
class full of graduates that have quite a few within each other 
in terms of skill, intelligence and everything else that makes a 
Shinobi.  The usual tier method -two strong offset by a lesser 
with potential- is not going to work here without severely 
unbalancing the Teams." 
 
"Give me Naruto, Hinata and Ino," Tsunade stood proud with her 
arms crossed, daring anybody to challenge her.  While her title, 
bestowed upon her by a foreign power, had been honored her 
official rank just happened to be Elite Jounin. 
 
Her years of service, even with her sojourn into a bottle, 
trumped the rest of the Jounin in the room by a mile.  Thanks in 
part to the resets of old and being stuck in yet another, she 

had decided to get back into top form.  What really motivated 
her had been watching Naruto take a Fuuma Shuriken to the skull 
a couple times before figuring out how to handle Mizuki. 
 
No way where they going to tell the blond that they had to wait 
for sleep to claim them before a 'reset' occurred.  That had 
been terrible by itself. 
 
"What?" Asuma Sarutobi coughed, having inhaled his cigarette.  
Fortunately for him he had yet to light it otherwise he would be 
having a bad case of heartburn.  He failed to notice that 
Kurenai had a small, knowing smile adorning her face yet said 
nothing to help him.