Harry Potter - Series Fan Fiction ❯ Snape vs. The Survey ❯ Chapter 3: Interlude ( Chapter 3 )
[ Y - Young Adult: Not suitable for readers under 16 ]
By: Rumielf 
Non Anime: Harry Potter - Series Fan Fiction | Genre(s): | Type: Self Insertion | Uploaded On: 06.18.2006 | Pages: 1 | Words: 1.9K | Visits: 198 | Status: Completed
Non Anime: Harry Potter - Series Fan Fiction | Genre(s): | Type: Self Insertion | Uploaded On: 06.18.2006 | Pages: 1 | Words: 1.9K | Visits: 198 | Status: Completed
A/N: In honor of this being the week of the release of Half Blood Prince I decided to go ahead and do up a quick interlude chapter. This is in response to a review that suggested I record what happens when our dear Professor and I go out for drinks...
I cannot believe that you are telling them what happened.
They'll find out sooner or later. Now hush and let me rewind the tape.
Tape?
Yeah, there were a few reasons I took you to a muggle bar. One of them being that my video camera will work just fine in one.
You have a record of that night?
Oh yes. And it's time to share...and for the usual disclaimers...I don't own Sevvie or anything from the Harry Potter universe, Miss J.K. Rowling does. Though I still like playing with her toys.
I cannot believe that you are telling them what happened.
They'll find out sooner or later. Now hush and let me rewind the tape.
Tape?
Yeah, there were a few reasons I took you to a muggle bar. One of them being that my video camera will work just fine in one.
You have a record of that night?
Oh yes. And it's time to share...and for the usual disclaimers...I don't own Sevvie or anything from the Harry Potter universe, Miss J.K. Rowling does. Though I still like playing with her toys.
-------------------------------------------------------------- -------------------------------------------------------------------
::stands and waves at the figure in the doorway::
Sevvie! Over here!
::sits down and looks around in disgust::
So this is a muggle tavern.
It's called a bar out here, Sev.
Don't call me that. And speaking of which, where are we?
Sorry, I guess I did neglect to tell you that. This is a favorite bar of mine back home in the States. I forgot that I just had you Floo after me.
::looks at the drink that is in front of him::
And this is?
A good starter drink for you. I'm not sure how familiar you are with muggle drinks but this is a pretty tame one, at least compared to mine. ::lifts tall glass for example::
So what is this called?
Yours? Rum and coke.
And what is yours?
Mine's called a Dirty Dog. A friend introduced me to it and I drink it when I go out. Most people can't handle it.
How so?
It's a little strong for most people.
And the one you've given me?
I'd consider that too tame for my taste, but I think it's a good way to ease you into my world of drinking.
I see. So do we simply begin or--
Nope, we have to toast.
Very well.
::lifts her glass::
To an interesting night of conversation and company.
::lifts his glass and touches it to hers::
As you say. And to my surviving this night alive and unmolested.
::grins impishly::
We'll see about that.
::takes a swallow of her drink::
Ah, that hit the spot.
::sniffs at his drink and takes a careful sip::
Well?
::slightly raspy voice::
It must be an acquired taste.
Yeah, but it's a good start for you.
::takes another drink and leans back::
So, why is it I feel like I have to pry every sentence out of you?
I don't know what you mean.
::takes a larger sip of his drink::
Just that you don't volunteer any information and getting you to answer a question is like pulling teeth.
When you have had experiences such as mine you will understand. Never volunteer anything.
I think I have a solution.
What would that be?
Chug that drink.
Pardon?
Drink it as fast as you can. Right now.
And what will that accomplish?
It'll keep you from nursing that drink and possibly loosen you up a little.
Do you plan to do the same?
::downs her drink in three large swallows::
Does that answer your question?
Very well.
::tilts his glass and swallows the last of his drink::
::chokes for a moment::
A little too much for you?
...not at all...
Good. Time for the next round.
::gets up and returns a moment later with two glasses of her drink and places one in front of each of them::
If that was so easy let's move on to what I drink.
::looks at the glass warily::
What is in it?
How familiar are you with muggle alcohol?
Moderately familiar.
One-third Malibu rum, one-third Captain Morgan, one-third Bacardi 151 and a splash of pineapple juice to top it off.
::eyes water as he sniffs it::
And you expect me to drink this as I did the other one?
::smiles sweetly::
I'll let you take about a ten minute break before I ask you to do that.
::raises an eyebrow::
Are you patronizing me?
I'm just taking into account that you might not have as high of a tolerance as most people.
Really? How kind.
Ah...I missed that sarcasm.
::chugs the glass::
Jeez, Sev! I didn't mean for you to do that!
::gasp, wheeze, sputter::
Let me get you a glass of water.
::hurries to the bar and returns with a couple of glasses of water which she places in front of him::
Drink one of those when you get a chance.
::nod, wheeze, cough::
::sits back down and looks at Snape admiringly::
Not many people can even brave the smell of all that alcohol long enough to drink the whole thing.
::takes a couple swallows of water and regains his breath::
How...in the world...are you able to drink that...concoction...so easily?
I don't know. I have a decent tolerance to alcohol in the first place. It was built by only drinking hard liquor. Maybe that helped. And the first Dirty Dogs I ever drank were in a speed-drinking contest.
And how many of these can you drink?
I've never actually tested my limit of these. I do know that I can chug 4 of them in the span of 2 hours without being ill. And still have room for a little more.
At this point you must be immune to most poisons.
I wouldn't be surprised.
::lifts her glass and downs her drink::
So are you feeling any effects yet, Sev?
I am a bit light-headed, yes.
Good. I won't make you drink another one for a bit.
Thank Merlin for small favors.
Sev, do you really think so little of your fans?
You want my honest opinion?
Always.
I'm rather shurprised that sho many people would even take intres-, intrish-, would care about what happens to me.
::giggles::
You sound kind of lit, Sev.
Lit?
Drunk, pissed, foxed.
Ah. I do feel a bit odd.
Good. Go with the feeling. But back to your fans, you're an interesting guy. Besides, women often love the sarcastic ones.
And you told me that they write stories about me pairing me with other people.
Yeah, they like to explore what might have been. I'm guilty of it too.
::drunk, yet sarcastic look of surprise::
No, you? The one who threatens me with whips and chains?
::smiles::
That's right. Though I'm greedy. I pair you off with OC's.
::blinks in drunken confusion::
Oshe's?
OC's. Outside characters. I prefer to pair you off with me but I think people get tired of reading smut involving me. If I create a new character then I can let that one have life of it's own.
Ah. So what do you think of th' stories of me and other men?
Slash isn't exactly to my taste. In some cases I like it but not usually.
::picks up a glass of water and sloshes half of it to the table before taking a sip::
::carefully enunciates the next sentence::
And what, may I ask, is to your taste?
::blinks in surprise and then smiles::
Are you hitting on me, Professor Snape?
I'm dishplaying curiosity about my apparent captor.
Ah, my mistake.
Indeed. Now, please ansher th' question.
I'd rather not discuss that in this atmosphere. Besides, should I remember to write all this down this can only take so much a certain rating.
Are you afraid?
Sev, you are very drunk. I should probably get you back to Hogwarts to sleep it off.
And how do you plan to get me back?
::looks at him for a moment then sighs::
Damn, you're too drunk to Apparate or Floo. Guess we'll have to get a hotel.
Sheperate rooms.
Sev, hon, I don't have enough cash on me for that. We'll get what we can afford.
::his eyes blink a couple of times then his head drops to the table, fast asleep::
And I'll try not to take advantage of you while you are passed out. Guess that means it's time to call a cab.
::stands and hauls Snape out of the chair::
::he wakes back up slightly::
Come on, Sev. Let's get you to bed.
Good idea.
::leans against her for support::
Ah, you're warm.
::smiles::
Thanks.
Sevvie! Over here!
::sits down and looks around in disgust::
So this is a muggle tavern.
It's called a bar out here, Sev.
Don't call me that. And speaking of which, where are we?
Sorry, I guess I did neglect to tell you that. This is a favorite bar of mine back home in the States. I forgot that I just had you Floo after me.
::looks at the drink that is in front of him::
And this is?
A good starter drink for you. I'm not sure how familiar you are with muggle drinks but this is a pretty tame one, at least compared to mine. ::lifts tall glass for example::
So what is this called?
Yours? Rum and coke.
And what is yours?
Mine's called a Dirty Dog. A friend introduced me to it and I drink it when I go out. Most people can't handle it.
How so?
It's a little strong for most people.
And the one you've given me?
I'd consider that too tame for my taste, but I think it's a good way to ease you into my world of drinking.
I see. So do we simply begin or--
Nope, we have to toast.
Very well.
::lifts her glass::
To an interesting night of conversation and company.
::lifts his glass and touches it to hers::
As you say. And to my surviving this night alive and unmolested.
::grins impishly::
We'll see about that.
::takes a swallow of her drink::
Ah, that hit the spot.
::sniffs at his drink and takes a careful sip::
Well?
::slightly raspy voice::
It must be an acquired taste.
Yeah, but it's a good start for you.
::takes another drink and leans back::
So, why is it I feel like I have to pry every sentence out of you?
I don't know what you mean.
::takes a larger sip of his drink::
Just that you don't volunteer any information and getting you to answer a question is like pulling teeth.
When you have had experiences such as mine you will understand. Never volunteer anything.
I think I have a solution.
What would that be?
Chug that drink.
Pardon?
Drink it as fast as you can. Right now.
And what will that accomplish?
It'll keep you from nursing that drink and possibly loosen you up a little.
Do you plan to do the same?
::downs her drink in three large swallows::
Does that answer your question?
Very well.
::tilts his glass and swallows the last of his drink::
::chokes for a moment::
A little too much for you?
...not at all...
Good. Time for the next round.
::gets up and returns a moment later with two glasses of her drink and places one in front of each of them::
If that was so easy let's move on to what I drink.
::looks at the glass warily::
What is in it?
How familiar are you with muggle alcohol?
Moderately familiar.
One-third Malibu rum, one-third Captain Morgan, one-third Bacardi 151 and a splash of pineapple juice to top it off.
::eyes water as he sniffs it::
And you expect me to drink this as I did the other one?
::smiles sweetly::
I'll let you take about a ten minute break before I ask you to do that.
::raises an eyebrow::
Are you patronizing me?
I'm just taking into account that you might not have as high of a tolerance as most people.
Really? How kind.
Ah...I missed that sarcasm.
::chugs the glass::
Jeez, Sev! I didn't mean for you to do that!
::gasp, wheeze, sputter::
Let me get you a glass of water.
::hurries to the bar and returns with a couple of glasses of water which she places in front of him::
Drink one of those when you get a chance.
::nod, wheeze, cough::
::sits back down and looks at Snape admiringly::
Not many people can even brave the smell of all that alcohol long enough to drink the whole thing.
::takes a couple swallows of water and regains his breath::
How...in the world...are you able to drink that...concoction...so easily?
I don't know. I have a decent tolerance to alcohol in the first place. It was built by only drinking hard liquor. Maybe that helped. And the first Dirty Dogs I ever drank were in a speed-drinking contest.
And how many of these can you drink?
I've never actually tested my limit of these. I do know that I can chug 4 of them in the span of 2 hours without being ill. And still have room for a little more.
At this point you must be immune to most poisons.
I wouldn't be surprised.
::lifts her glass and downs her drink::
So are you feeling any effects yet, Sev?
I am a bit light-headed, yes.
Good. I won't make you drink another one for a bit.
Thank Merlin for small favors.
Sev, do you really think so little of your fans?
You want my honest opinion?
Always.
I'm rather shurprised that sho many people would even take intres-, intrish-, would care about what happens to me.
::giggles::
You sound kind of lit, Sev.
Lit?
Drunk, pissed, foxed.
Ah. I do feel a bit odd.
Good. Go with the feeling. But back to your fans, you're an interesting guy. Besides, women often love the sarcastic ones.
And you told me that they write stories about me pairing me with other people.
Yeah, they like to explore what might have been. I'm guilty of it too.
::drunk, yet sarcastic look of surprise::
No, you? The one who threatens me with whips and chains?
::smiles::
That's right. Though I'm greedy. I pair you off with OC's.
::blinks in drunken confusion::
Oshe's?
OC's. Outside characters. I prefer to pair you off with me but I think people get tired of reading smut involving me. If I create a new character then I can let that one have life of it's own.
Ah. So what do you think of th' stories of me and other men?
Slash isn't exactly to my taste. In some cases I like it but not usually.
::picks up a glass of water and sloshes half of it to the table before taking a sip::
::carefully enunciates the next sentence::
And what, may I ask, is to your taste?
::blinks in surprise and then smiles::
Are you hitting on me, Professor Snape?
I'm dishplaying curiosity about my apparent captor.
Ah, my mistake.
Indeed. Now, please ansher th' question.
I'd rather not discuss that in this atmosphere. Besides, should I remember to write all this down this can only take so much a certain rating.
Are you afraid?
Sev, you are very drunk. I should probably get you back to Hogwarts to sleep it off.
And how do you plan to get me back?
::looks at him for a moment then sighs::
Damn, you're too drunk to Apparate or Floo. Guess we'll have to get a hotel.
Sheperate rooms.
Sev, hon, I don't have enough cash on me for that. We'll get what we can afford.
::his eyes blink a couple of times then his head drops to the table, fast asleep::
And I'll try not to take advantage of you while you are passed out. Guess that means it's time to call a cab.
::stands and hauls Snape out of the chair::
::he wakes back up slightly::
Come on, Sev. Let's get you to bed.
Good idea.
::leans against her for support::
Ah, you're warm.
::smiles::
Thanks.