Hunter X Hunter Fan Fiction ❯ Homecoming ❯ Chapter 8

Disclaimer: I own Killua!!!!! Yay!!!!!! *2 men shows up and ties her into a straightjacket* I own Killua!!!

A/N: I finally update. I've tried to fix the grammar and all and came out with this. Not perfect, I know. But it's the best I can get.

On the eighth day Zeno and Sillva return home. It means the two young Zaoldyeck will not be able to be together as often. Killua and Illumi who have grown to need each other dread it, but since none can come with a solution, they have no choice but to resume their cold war.

 

The sacred sanctuary of their rooms has turn into a cold jail without being in each other's arms. Killua realizes it first when he has a sudden insomnia the night his elders return. He's been tossing and turning on his bed all night long for no reason at all. He never has any problem with his sleep before, even when nightmare or enemy to threaten him. The answer comes just before he falls asleep at dawn.

 

He misses Illumi.

 

A simple yet complicated conclusion. He needs Illumi next to him, to wrap his arms around his body to keep his nightmares away. He realizes what he missed earlier in the training. He misses Illumi's back hug, a simple but important act that has been a ritual in their breaks. He misses the way Illumi snakes his arms under Killua's, the way Illumi's breath feels on his neck when he hugs him close, the feeling of Illumi's solid body behind him when he leans on him, the comforting feeling of another human's flesh touching his body intimately without getting himself hurt, the caresses before he sleeps, the way Illumi's heart beats under his ears at night, the kisses after nightmares, the almost warm looks that greets him in the morning.... When did Illumi start to become an important part of his life?

 

Killua rubs his cheek on the pillow Illumi used to sleep on. His nose catches a distinct smell of a foreign yet familiar scent on it. It smells like wet grass and shampoo. Illumi's scent. He smiles at the thought. Somehow it's comforting to have something to remind him of his brother's presence on this bed in the past eight days. It almost feels like Illumi himself is here. Almost.

 

It's funny to think that just a few days ago they avoided each other, but now he can't sleep without the other beside him. He's grateful he let Illumi comfort him ten days ago. He smiles as he remembers what has happened in the past ten days.

 

At first, he's reluctant to be close to another male, but Illumi managed to gain his trust. Their first touches were awkward ones. He remembers stiffening under Illumi's soothing touch, how Illumi murmured nothing to his ear and how Illumi sighed in relief when he finally relax, and when they held each other like that hours could past without them noticing. He likes the way Illumi's baritone voice vibrates when he speak by his ear, the way Illumi's lips lightly traced his neck, cheek and ear, the way Illumi's thumb made a circular pattern on his side, the way Illumi's chest rise and fall under his back, the way Illumi's skin felt so soft and supple under his absentminded touch, the way Illumi tasted so sweet when he kissed him, the way Illumi's hair veiled them when he rested his forehead on his, the way those cold orbs spread warmth across his body.... There are too many more he cannot name.

 

He needs to see his brother in person. Soon. That was the last thing cross his sleepy mind when tire claim him. In his dream instead of dark room and buzzing sound, he sees long raven hair and two dark orbs and a murmured name. "Killua...."

 

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"I shall be..." Illumi says it over and over again the whole night. Those words have begun everything between him and Killua. They are the first spoken affectionate approach Illumi has ever done to Killua. He touches his lips slowly, his fingertips tease his longing to cover Killua's lips with his the way his usually does after Killua falls asleep.

 

He thought about his options one more time. He can go to Killua's room right now. Zeno's in his own room and Sillva is, too. No one will ever know. The only problem in the plan is he himself isn't sure whether Killua wants to see him or not. Beside, they have agreed they will not show any kind of improper emotions after their elders return.

 

Who said that? Illumi's subconscious says. You never say that. Hell, you didn't even think of your elders when you're with him!

 

Okay, so that's true. They never make that kind of agreement verbally. But they have understood their terms since the very start of this relationship. Besides, the risk is too great. If someone ever sees him go to Killua's room and tells Zeno, he'll never hear the end of it.

 

Illumi is desperate. He can't just stand and watch his father punching Killua like that in training session. He needs to be close to Killua or else he'll go completely out of his mind. He wants -no. Needs to- touch Killua, hug him close, smell Killua's natural scent mingles with the smell of shampoo and soap, see Killua's sleeping face, kiss Killua's tears from his cheek, feel Killua's heart beats under his palm, hear that sweet voice speaks his name....

 

Now instead of thinking hentai thought about Killua, he thinks about things he didn't know exist in Killua. The small things like Killua's blush when he flatters him. It's so pale it's hard to see, but after a careful observation he can see the slight coloring on his cheek. Killua always pouts every time he mentions it but Illumi can see a flicker of appreciation on his eyes.

 

He used to lust for the boy, but now he adores him. The more he knows about Killua the more he wants him. Not only his body but also his heart. He knows Killua enjoys the presence of a protecting figure like Illumi. No matter what he says about it Illumi knows there's fragility inside Killua that the silver haired boy hides under his genki face and fierce attitude. Illumi thinks maybe partially it's his fault for making him that way, but he can't help but feeling a little smug because Killua trusts him to protect it.

 

But back to his problem. How can he help Killua if he can't even meet the latter? Sillva will not notice anything, he knows, but Zeno is an entirely different case. The old man has noticed it. And now after leaving Killua alone with him for over a week Illumi knows he must've been curious about him and Killua.

 

If the old man finds out about him and Killua being close there's no doubt he will think Illumi's courting the boy. Which is partially true. But now his top priority is to help Killua with his internal battle. His urges has been restrained for years he thinks it can be restrain a little bit more until at least he can make Killua understand how much he means to him as a brother If not as a man. He thinks he can do it as long as he knows Killua can smile again....

 

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The ending is sappy I know. But it's the best I could come up with and sorry about the grammar. I think it's getting worse by day. Trust me I know, my mother and my English teacher had bothered to rub it in my face months ago T_T