InuYasha Fan Fiction / Fan Fiction / Crossover Fan Fiction ❯ Wolves in Designer Clothing ❯ Bad News for Kagome! ( Chapter 9 )
[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]
By: Raven Dhancer 
Anime/Manga: InuYasha Fan Fiction / Fan Fiction / Crossover Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Romance / Comedy | Type: Crossover | Uploaded On: 05.19.2006 | Updated On: 05.28.2006 | Pages: 2 | Words: 1.5K | Visits: 281 | Status: Work In Progress
Anime/Manga: InuYasha Fan Fiction / Fan Fiction / Crossover Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Romance / Comedy | Type: Crossover | Uploaded On: 05.19.2006 | Updated On: 05.28.2006 | Pages: 2 | Words: 1.5K | Visits: 281 | Status: Work In Progress
Disclaimer: Inuyashaand Dr. Whoare the property of the respective copyright holders, who aren't me.
Chapter 9:Bad News for Kagome!
by Raven Dhancer
Louisa, Alastair and the Doctor aka O'Nessey fled the food court and had gone back to the Ramen Cloak for what O'Nessey called a strategy session and what Alastair insisted on calling a stiffener. They had tried a three-some in the TARDIS, but K9 had kept trying to make it a foursome and after a while they had given up.
Jii-Chan wandered in a bit later and plopped down beside them. He had been totally unable to find his exit and had just about given up on finding the tree again either. He ordered something called a Honolulu Heart Attack, but sent it back after it arrived garnished with Spam, and settled instead for what everybody else was having, the bar's signature drink which had the added charm of being half price until 5. It came garnished with a noodle, but you could pick that off.
Louisa was gazing sourly at the Doctor and Alastair who were still making cow-orbs at each other. “hentai” she muttered.
“Madam,” Jii-Chan said, “The word I think you want is `Yaoi'.”
Louisa looked puzzled, “What does that mean?” she asked.
Jii-Chan hesitated. “I think it means 'Stop It My Head Hurts'” he lied.
“You were jolly mean to that little heron thing Jaken” she said sternly.
“That was Jaken?” puzzled Jii-Chan.
“You didn't even know his name!? You Cad!” Louisa hissed “Right! You jolly well march back, right now, and apologize to him!”
“Jaken is a toad demon. He's practically indestructible.” Stammered Jii-chan “He's - How could I hurt him?”
“He's got feelings! You can hurt those!” Louisa glared, then added “and you did hurt them. Deeply!”
Jii-Chan was dumbfounded. He sat stunned for a minute and then got up and wandered out.
The Doctor watched him go. “Pass me his noodle.”
Jii-Chan wandered in a bit later and plopped down beside them. He had been totally unable to find his exit and had just about given up on finding the tree again either. He ordered something called a Honolulu Heart Attack, but sent it back after it arrived garnished with Spam, and settled instead for what everybody else was having, the bar's signature drink which had the added charm of being half price until 5. It came garnished with a noodle, but you could pick that off.
Louisa was gazing sourly at the Doctor and Alastair who were still making cow-orbs at each other. “hentai” she muttered.
“Madam,” Jii-Chan said, “The word I think you want is `Yaoi'.”
Louisa looked puzzled, “What does that mean?” she asked.
Jii-Chan hesitated. “I think it means 'Stop It My Head Hurts'” he lied.
“You were jolly mean to that little heron thing Jaken” she said sternly.
“That was Jaken?” puzzled Jii-Chan.
“You didn't even know his name!? You Cad!” Louisa hissed “Right! You jolly well march back, right now, and apologize to him!”
“Jaken is a toad demon. He's practically indestructible.” Stammered Jii-chan “He's - How could I hurt him?”
“He's got feelings! You can hurt those!” Louisa glared, then added “and you did hurt them. Deeply!”
Jii-Chan was dumbfounded. He sat stunned for a minute and then got up and wandered out.
The Doctor watched him go. “Pass me his noodle.”
o 0 o O o 0 o o 0 o O o 0 o
Silently, Inuyasha jumped down through the hole left by Naraku's suckiness landing right behind Naraku. With just his claws, Inuyasha started slicing and dicing Naraku like he was a Veg-O-Matic and Naraku was an onion. Bit and pieces of Naraku rained over the food court.
Silently, Inuyasha jumped down through the hole left by Naraku's suckiness landing right behind Naraku. With just his claws, Inuyasha started slicing and dicing Naraku like he was a Veg-O-Matic and Naraku was an onion. Bit and pieces of Naraku rained over the food court.
“My, the ramen is extra meaty today,” said one of the few customers remaining as she chewed a chunk of tentacle.
Due to the power of the whole Shikon no Tama, Naraku kept reforming. It was a slimy, catsuppy heat between Inuyasha ginsu-ing Naraku and Naraku recohering.
o 0 o O o 0 o o 0 o O o 0 o
As she drew in a breath preparatory to resuming her attempt to purify her mother, Kagome sensed something through the fresh scar on her thigh (The scar was in the form of kanji that said “Red Hot Bitch”. Inuyasha has one too. His says “Hound Dog”), “Oh, I'm sensing Inuyasha…He's, he's transformed.” The miko ran back to the food court as fast as her long, toned legs could carry her, I can still get me some demon lovin'.
As she arrived, a tentacular thwap sent Sango careening into the arms of Miroku. Both of his hands were too tired to even cop a feel. Kagome focused all her powers of purity on the orb of the jewel. A thin waft of smoke came up from Naraku's chest. “Bwahaha! I saw what you and the half-breed and *sob* Kikyou were doing up on the skylight. Your Miko powers are gone because you have tainted yourself!
Kagome stood there in shock. “It can't be true…it just can't be. I'm no longer pure?”
“Yes my dear, I'm afraid it is. You're just a two-timing whore now. No self-respecting demon would touch you.”
“Naraku is correct,” Inuyasha roared at her, still in his sexy demon form, his reddened orbs piercing her very soul, “but then I've heard your mother is a firecracker.”
“Noooo,” Kagome fled the food court and collapsed against a children's mechanical pony ride. Tears were streaming down her face, “Inuyasha, Kouga, Sesshoumaru…I had so many men in my life and now I'm all alone.”
“All ALONE,” she screeched, frightening a young child who was riding `Barney the Dinosaur'.
“Ahem,” she heard someone clear their throat behind her, “there's always….well, me.”
Kagome whipped around and saw … no one.
“I'm down here,” the voice whined. “I've been hiding out in the elephant ride until the coast was clear. That old man has a `take no prisoners' policy. Hasn't been easy, Rin was snooping around and…”
“Jaken,” Kagome jumped into his arms, “Jaken, I accept, yes, yes, yes! I will bear your pups, erm, tadpoles…or lay eggs or whatever!”
Jaken's yellowish-green orbs were sparkling with delight, that is until a shadow fell over the happy couple.
“Grandaughter, what the hell do you think you are doing?”
“Yes my dear, I'm afraid it is. You're just a two-timing whore now. No self-respecting demon would touch you.”
“Naraku is correct,” Inuyasha roared at her, still in his sexy demon form, his reddened orbs piercing her very soul, “but then I've heard your mother is a firecracker.”
“Noooo,” Kagome fled the food court and collapsed against a children's mechanical pony ride. Tears were streaming down her face, “Inuyasha, Kouga, Sesshoumaru…I had so many men in my life and now I'm all alone.”
“All ALONE,” she screeched, frightening a young child who was riding `Barney the Dinosaur'.
“Ahem,” she heard someone clear their throat behind her, “there's always….well, me.”
Kagome whipped around and saw … no one.
“I'm down here,” the voice whined. “I've been hiding out in the elephant ride until the coast was clear. That old man has a `take no prisoners' policy. Hasn't been easy, Rin was snooping around and…”
“Jaken,” Kagome jumped into his arms, “Jaken, I accept, yes, yes, yes! I will bear your pups, erm, tadpoles…or lay eggs or whatever!”
Jaken's yellowish-green orbs were sparkling with delight, that is until a shadow fell over the happy couple.
“Grandaughter, what the hell do you think you are doing?”
Jii-Chan stopped himself. He'd lost his rag once already today and that hadn't helped anyone.
"I mean," he tried again, "Jaken, can I have a moment alone?"
"Not with all these other people - oh." he wandered back towards the tree.
Kagome tearfully spilled the beans, pouring out the whole sad tale of sex, pottery and betrayal. Jii-Chan listened quietly and then sat thoughtfully for a while. Finally he turned toward her and spoke solemly.
"Kagome" Jii-Chan voice was gentle. "You do know Naraku is a lying sack of shit, don't you?"
"But Inu-" Kagome started to say, but Jii-Chan shushed her gently. "Inuyasha is heroic dog man demon whatever, but even so, you must realize he also is a bit of pig? And thick to boot?"
"So I'm not de-field?" asked Kagome tearfully, but with hope growing in her eyes.
"Well, by any rational standard, yes you are" admitted Jii-Chan, "I mean, whee hee are you ever, but, then again, technically, no. Probably. I didn't see the whole thing. Did you...um..." he bent over and whispered a question in her ear.
"HELLNO!" Kagome quietly replied. "Is that even possible? I mean, who would do that?"
"Nobody I know!" Jii-Chan lied. "OK!, Well! Awkward subject - say no more - you're just dehydrated. But um, stay off sky lites in future, please?"
"Sure" said Kagome grimly. She whirled on a heel and marched back toward the food court.
Back at the food court, Asmodeus laughed hugely. Today had been a Good Day! Much Orange Julius had been sold to the hungry watchers. If only that pestilent district manager would let him sell popcorn! Curse his hide.
"I mean," he tried again, "Jaken, can I have a moment alone?"
"Not with all these other people - oh." he wandered back towards the tree.
Kagome tearfully spilled the beans, pouring out the whole sad tale of sex, pottery and betrayal. Jii-Chan listened quietly and then sat thoughtfully for a while. Finally he turned toward her and spoke solemly.
"Kagome" Jii-Chan voice was gentle. "You do know Naraku is a lying sack of shit, don't you?"
"But Inu-" Kagome started to say, but Jii-Chan shushed her gently. "Inuyasha is heroic dog man demon whatever, but even so, you must realize he also is a bit of pig? And thick to boot?"
"So I'm not de-field?" asked Kagome tearfully, but with hope growing in her eyes.
"Well, by any rational standard, yes you are" admitted Jii-Chan, "I mean, whee hee are you ever, but, then again, technically, no. Probably. I didn't see the whole thing. Did you...um..." he bent over and whispered a question in her ear.
"HELLNO!" Kagome quietly replied. "Is that even possible? I mean, who would do that?"
"Nobody I know!" Jii-Chan lied. "OK!, Well! Awkward subject - say no more - you're just dehydrated. But um, stay off sky lites in future, please?"
"Sure" said Kagome grimly. She whirled on a heel and marched back toward the food court.
Back at the food court, Asmodeus laughed hugely. Today had been a Good Day! Much Orange Julius had been sold to the hungry watchers. If only that pestilent district manager would let him sell popcorn! Curse his hide.
TBC