InuYasha Fan Fiction / Ranma 1/2 Fan Fiction / Urusei Yatsura Fan Fiction ❯ The Official Fanfiction University of Rumiko Takahashi! ❯ The Battle of the Bath house ( Chapter 25 )

Chapter 25

Cait and Pia were in the middle of another exhausting Physical Education class, taught by our favorite gender-changing martial artist.

"Come on, kids. I finished MY hundred push-ups in less than a minute, but half of you are still struggling after TEN."

Cait, who had never been able to do a push-up in her life, was trying not to look too noticeable by cheating and only lifting her torso with her arms.

"I saw that. Anyone found cheating on a single push-up can clean up Happosai's bathroom in detention." Everyone groaned, while Ranma walked away. "You can leave once you're done. Don't think you can leave before that. I've set up video cameras. See ya!" He walked briskly away while the class struggled with their 'easy workout' of 100 push-ups.

Cait grunted as she tried to lift herself up. "6... urk... 7..."

******

Cait and Pia stumbled back to their dorms after P.E. was done.

"At least we didn't have to try karate today." Cait sighed.

"Or kendo. Don't forget the kendo class last month. The Infirmary was stuffed for at least a week with sword injuries." Pia said. "Still hurts."

After the two had rested for a while (read: almost passed out) and were able to move normally again despite muscle strain, Pia had a bright idea.

"Hey, Cait! Let's go to the new student baths they just opened!" Pia sprung up, excited.

"What? What's there?" Cait said drowsily.

"They decided to build an extension on the faculty bath house for students, so we can go and steal boys' underwear and slap hentais and all that fun stuff, just like they do in the comics!"

Cait nodded sarcastically. "Yeah. Fun. Right. Well, you go ahead and do that, I'm going to keep sleeping."

Pia pulled the covers off of her roommate's bed. "Grab your swimsuit and towel. We're off to slap some perverts!"

******

Pia eventually convinced Cait to go to the baths, if not for the 'fun' of mauling perverts, then for all the bubbly bubble baths they had. "They're soooooo puffy!" said Pia.

Cait grumbled. "Why am I doing this?"

"To decapitate some unfortunate hentai!"

"Great. Just perfect. Can I leave now?"

"Come on, Cait, it'll be fun!" Pia noticed her blush. "It's not like you're naked, everyone just wears their swimsuit underneath their towel."

Cait sighed. "Thank God for small favors."

To Pia's utter dismay, there was a girls side of the baths and a boys side. To her delight, they were separated by a wall that went about eight feet up the wall and stopped, leaving a large space for anyone with a step-stool to peep through.

"Bring it on!!!" Pia yelled over the wall. Cait flinched.

Pia was right, there were great bubble baths. They came out of extendable tubes, and Cait and Pia had fun shooting them at each other. That is, until Cait stepped on something squishy.

"Eek!" Cait covered her mouth as a body emerged from the water. "Shampoo?"

Shampoo, the spring-of-drowned-cat cursed Amazon shushed her. "Quiet, now! Shampoo hiding from creepy spider man."

Pia popped up behind Cait. "You mean Naraku?"

Shampoo nodded. "You remember Shikon Jewel, yes?" Cait and Pia nodded yes. "Well, at beginning of year jewel is being divided into pieces, each teacher be given one piece of jewel, see? Is to keep it safe. Except Na... Naraku, he want ALL of jewel for himself, so he is trying taking piece from teachers, yes." Shampoo held up a piece of the Shikon jewel, which sparkled happily. "So I is hiding this where he no look!"

Pia muttered to Cait. "Could you understand a word she said?"

Shampoo walked over to the statue in the middle of the baths. It was a fountain sculpture of a giant goldfish, streaming water out of its mouth. Shampoo stuck her jewel shard on top of its head.

"Miss Shampoo?" Cait felt compelled to say something. "Isn't that a bit obvious?"

Shampoo glared at Cait. "It no matter if obvious. Good defense against bad boys, bath is, yes?"

"Umm... sure. Whatever you said." Cait ignored the glare Shampoo sent at her.

Suddenly, all heads in the bath house turned as Naraku burst into the room. "WHERE'S THAT JEWEL SHARD?" he yelled.

"EEK!" Naraku was pelted with everything from bowls to soap to rubber duckies. "PERVERT!"

Naraku ran for cover, thinking maybe this wasn't the best technique for obtaining the shard. "I will get that Shikon piece, just you wait!" He made a speedy exit from the barrage of items being thrown by all the girls.

Everyone breathed a sigh of relief as he left.

"What the heck is going on?" Pia asked to nobody in particular.

Shampoo, who had been hiding behind the giant goldfish fountain, said "When Naraku have too much sake`, he gets bit tipsy, yes. Then he go try take Shikon. It happen many times this year, but he never get many. But now, it too-too bad, he team up with another bad man."

"Who has he teamed up with?" Cait already had a feeling who it was.

Shampoo made a face. "That Happosai! That why he chase Shampoo into baths."

Cait gulped. She remembered Happosai's class, 'Lingerie modeling,' which all the students had blown off (after kicking out Happosai.)

Sake-addled Naraku and Happosai wasn't what Cait had in mind for her relaxing visit to the baths.

Meanwhile, Pia was making some sort of rallying speech to the rest of the bath house.

"We will take up arms against these invaders! Some of us may die. Some of us may live. But we will prevail! We will not lie down and let mere bureaucrats spoil our hard-won bath house! We will FIGHT!"

The audience clapped politely.

"Um... Pia? What did you mean by 'take up arms,' and 'some of us may die?'" Cait tentatively asked Pia.

"YAAAAARRGGGHH!" Pia shook her fists in the air. "Sorry, what did you say, Cait?"

Cait sighed, and repeated her question.

"Oh, yeah. Well, I'll leave you in charge of getting weapons. I'd say, at least a sword, bow and arrows, and hand-grenade for everyone. Better stock up on maces, sub-machine guns, and sniper rifles too. Don't forget several large fire hoses for splashing water at the perverted invaders."

Cait stared at Pia. "Um... sure." She went off to find anything remotely like what Pia had specified in her list.

*12 minutes later*

"Ok, Pia, I got weapons." Cait came trotting back, carrying a bag.

"Great." Pia took the bag from her. "There have been some critical developments while you were gone."

"What?" Cait said.

"We think the enemy is regrouping right now for another attack. We heard some maniacal laughter just outside the window, but it stopped after we poured boiling water on whoever it was."

Just then, the door to the bath house burst open. A rain of water and soap bars sailed over to the unfortunate offender.

"Wait!" Pia rushed over to the person. "It's Ok, she's a girl, hold off." Pia helped pull the girl up.

The girl was wearing a cloth around her hair and sunglasses. She smiled, but didn't say anything. Instead the girl slowly edged over to the goldfish fountain.

Cait stared at her. She quietly snuck up behind her. When she was a couple feet away, the girl jumped away. Cait grabbed the end of the cloth covering the girl's hair.

"Aha!" A red ponytail fell out from the mysterious 'girl's' hair. "You're Ranma!"

"Eep!" The girl, now revealed as Ranma, scampered toward the jewel shard, but fell into the fountain. The hot water changed him back into a boy. He jumped for the shard, but was fended away by a spray from the giant fire hose Cait had brought, effectively turning him into a girl again.

"I won't give up!" Ranma escaped the spray, only to be pelted by tons of soap bars. Pile after pile fell on top of him, until he was completely buried. A gigantic pile of soap lay where Ranma had been a second before.

"It was a smart idea to set up this tennis ball machine to shoot out soap." Cait nodded.

"Especially with so much soap around here." Pia started loading more soap into the machine.

While they were talking, Ranma had wiggled his way out from under the pile of soap and ran away.

The bath house was quiet for several minutes. In this time, Pia and Cait reloaded all the soap, hooked up two more fire hoses, and readied the boiling vats of water.

Once more, the door opened. Pia got ready to use the fire hose, but suddenly Cait yelled "Wait!"

Cait ran up to the girl who had opened the door. "It's Kagome! Kagome, what are you doing here?"

Kagome smiled. "I've decided that the jewel should be purified by me, so I have to complete it and then get rid of it!" She grinned happily.

"Umm... Ok, I guess. It's over there." Cait pointed over to the giant goldfish fountain.

Kagome happily hopped over to the jewel shard. Cait watched her, then noticed something funny.

'Kagome' had a bushy fox-tail.

"Wait one second, Shippo!" Cait started up the soap machine, but Shippo transformed back into his little form, dodging them easily.

"That Naraku always uses people to get things for him." Pia grumbled.

Cait grabbed Shippo so he couldn't get away. "Shippo? Why the heck are you helping Naraku?"

Shippo stared at Cait. "Well... he has ramen."

"What?"

"Ramen! It's really yummy!"

Cait sighed. Did all demons have a thing for it? "Come on, Shippo. I'll give you some ramen later if you quit trying to help him." Shippo nodded.

The rest of the day was spent defending the bath-house from hordes of Random Demons (c), Naraku's endless supply of monsters, ghouls, and everything else. Eventually both sides were tired, and Naraku had a hangover, so they called a truce for now. The last of the day's Random Demons (c) amused themselves chasing nosy students away from the bath house, with minor casualties.

Pia was knighting the soap-shooting-machine. "Your valiant services today will be remembered for years henceforth. Such a noble soap-shooting-machine cannot be found anywhere else on the earth. From this day forth, you shall be called... umm... gosh, Cait what should I call it? Oh, I know. You will be... Soapie! Isn't that a cute name?"

"Very cute, thank you!" Soapie said happily.

"AUGH!" Pia jumped back.

Cait stared. "Did... Soapie... just talk?"

"Yes, I did!" Soapie merrily said.

"AUGH!" Cait jumped back.

"Maybe it's the effect of the University on things. Lots of stuff talks in Rumiko Takahashi's mangas." Pia mused.

"Yeah, that must be it." Cait shrugged it off. "Let's go back to the dorm."

The two walked off, puzzling over things, while Soapie spent the entire night redecorating the bath house with soap sculptures and wallpaper.