InuYasha Fan Fiction / Ranma 1/2 Fan Fiction / Urusei Yatsura Fan Fiction ❯ The Official Fanfiction University of Rumiko Takahashi! ❯ What goes on in anger management ( Chapter 10 )

What goes on in anger management?

#25, #26, #27 and #28 are from Akira. They are the "blue kids" who are really blood-phobic, except for Akira, (#28) who isn't blue. Not really Rumiko Takahashi, but whatever.

BTW-Sue the counselor/mediator has nothing to do with Mary-sues.

*****

Sue the counselor/mediator: My, we have a large class today!

Random squashed student: You're telling me.

Sue: Today, we will express our anger through constructive methods of---

Inuyasha: It better not be drawing with colored crayons again. Like coloring with red makes you a violent psychopath.

Akane: I liked the crayons.

Sue: *smiles* No, we're not doing the crayons today. Now, in today's session--

Lum: *pounds Miroku* Hands off, pervert! *fighting pose*

Miroku: *waves staff threateningly*

Sue: Let's settle down, class. *smiles* We'll be expressing our emotions by--

Lum: Today. At the playground. 3:00.

Miroku: You're on.

Sue: --talking to each other! Now, let's take--

Green-goo Happosai accompanied by Green-goo Jusenkyo guide under influence of OOC-niichuan: MWAHAHA!

Sue: Excuse me, green-goo Happosai accompanied by Green-goo Jusenkyo guide under influence of OOC-niichuan? Would you care to be an example for our class?

Green-goo Happosai accompanied by Green-goo Jusenkyo guide under influence of OOC-niichuan: MWAHAHA! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Sue: Excellent! Now, let's--

Nate: Objection! They trashed the school. They shouldn't be here.

Sue: Everyone is welcome in anger management! Now, Mr. Green-goo Happosai accompanied by Green-goo Jusenkyo guide under influence of OOC-niichuan, would you like to share with the class what is making you destroy buildings?

Green-goo Happosai accompanied by Green-goo Jusenkyo guide under influence of OOC-niichuan: MWAHAHA! MWAHAHA! MWAHAHA! MWA-- hey sweety! *gropes Lum* MWAHAHA! MWA-- *gets kicked through wall*

Sue: He says it's a personal reason, which he does not want to tell the class.

All: *sweat drops*

Gollum: *Randomly appears* Oh my preciousssss.....

Gollum: *gets kicked out*

Sue: Now, we shouldn't have done that. Everyone is welcome in anger management! Now, Ukyo, why don't you go invite him back it.

Ukyo: *sighs, goes to door* Gollum, would you like to come in?

Gollum: *turns into Shippo*

Shippo: Hi!

Ukyo: Hi!

Sue: Hi! Come in!

Shippo: No thanks, I need to water my llama. *Randomly disappears*

Sue: Now, let's continue with class. Everyone get a partner!

All: *Finds partner*

Odd student out: Waaah! I don't have a partner!

Sue: I'll be your partner!

Odd student out: I have a partner. *points to hand-sock*

Sue: Now that everyone has a partner, we can begin discussing what makes us--

Random rapper: This rhythm just makes me wanna Jump! Jump! Don't this rhythm make you wanna Jump! Jump!

Sue: Welcome to anger management counseling, Random rapper!

Random rapper: Fo' shizzle.

Sue: Would you like to participate in our discussion on what makes us--

Random rapper: This rhythm just makes--

Sue: *ahem*

Random rapper: Sorry. It's a reflex. *sits down*

*Class sits down*

Sue: Now, with your partner, take turns talking about something that makes you mad.

Kisa: Perverted monks! *Whacks Miroku*

Nate: People who spell Potato "Potato."

Lenore: My pet penguin, Sparkey.

Kat: I don't really like ham.

Zeppo: Squirrels. Especially the rabid ones.

Pia: Zeppo.

Harry Potter: Voldemort killed my parents, that makes me kind of mad.

Gore: Bush

Bush: Gore

Saddam Hussein: Bush

Spongebob Squarepants: Nothing!

Frodo: The ring, maybe?

Plato: It is not a question if it makes you mad, but what the mad makes you.

Hitler: Jews, Homosexuals, Marxist, Gypsies, and about everyone else that doesn't look like me.

Britney Spears: That Justin hates me just because I won't stop pretending I'm a virgin! Either that, or he wants to know what real boobs feel like...

Eminem: Mom, you were such a f***in b***h to me! You, Kim, you a skank ass b***h!

Meowm: People who don't agree with me politically.

Sue: Wow! A lot of people have joined anger management counseling! Pleased to meet you, people!

Harry Potter, Gore, Bush, Saddam Hussein, Spongebob, Frodo, Plato, Hitler, Britney, Eminem: *Runs away*

Meowm: *Door shuts on her* AAH! *Whips out gigantic laser gun*

Meowm suddenly remembered that, as the author, she had ultimate power.

Meowm found a hole in the floor, which she jumped through and landed in Japan with 100,000,000 yen in her pocket, and lived happily ever after.

Sue: Good luck in Japan! Now, for the next part of our lesson--

Random rapper: Is it involving hustling drugs, smokin weed, shooting people, or f***in hoes?

Sue: No, Random rapper, but I'm sure you'll enjoy it anyway!

Random rapper: I'm outta here.

Sue: Let's continue, now. How about bringing up some topics that make us act frustrated?

John: School?

Sue: Let's also remember who pays me to be here.....

All: *sigh* v.v;;

Sue: What else would everyone like to talk about?

All: Fanfics?

Sue: Sure! Why not!

Most: Lemons!

Some: Eep!

All: *Glares*

Sue: Let's settle down now.

All: *Attacks*

Sue: Would everyone please take their seats around the table?

Random student #4: Argh! My heart! *dies*

Sue: Shall we call Dr. Tofu to fix you up?

Random student #4: *rezzes* sure!

#25, #26, #27, #28: AAH! BLOOD!

Sue: Welcome, children! Would you like to join our session?

#25, #26, #27, #28: No thanks. We have to water the llama.

Dr. Tofu: *walks in* Did I hear someone needed medical help?

Sue: Random student #4 had a little heart trouble.

Dr. Tofu: *examines* My, my. This will take a very complicated surgical procedure that I must perform immediately...

Kasumi: Ooh, Dr. Tofu! Are you going to perform surgery? May I watch?

All: AAH! *Runs*

Random student #4: No thanks... um... I don't believe in surgery! It's ...umm... against my religious principles!

Kasumi: Oh my!

Dr. Tofu: Well... well then... Random student #4... *pats head of skeleton* I'm sorry, but it is necessary if you would like to live. *pulls out chainsaw* We must give you open heart surgery right here and now!

Random student #4: AIEEEEEE!

Kasumi: I think I will leave now.

Dr. Tofu: Bye-bye, Kasumi!

Kasumi: *leaves*

Dr. Tofu: *glasses clear* What was I just doing? *eyes student* Hello there! What are you doing on the floor?

Random student #4: *runs away*

Sue: Now that everyone is better, lets talk about ways to let out anger out in constructive actions!

Sessho-maru: I don't like it when people call me "Sess-chan"

Sue: Aw, poor Sess-chan.

Sessho-maru: Or "Sessy-chan"

Sue: Can't you see our Sessy-chan is feeling bad about this?

Sessho-maru: Or "Sesh"

Sue: Sesh really needs our support here, guys.

Sessho-maru: Or "Sesshy." Or "Maru-maru." Or "Maru-chan."

Sue: That's rough, Sesshy. Can't you see that Maru-maru is having a rough time here, students? Go on, Maru-chan.

Sessho-maru: Or, worst of all, "SESSHO-CHAN!" AAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!! *kills half the room*

Half the room: *rezzes*

Sue: Now, Sessho-chan, that's not how we express our anger in this class.

Inuyasha: Yeah, Sessho-chan. *snickers*

Sessho-maru: AAAAHHHHH!!!!! *attacks Inuyasha*

Sue: Let's not fight, now. Instead, why don't we try to communicate our differences in constructive ways!

Both: *sit down in bean bags*

Sue: Now, Sessho-chan, why don't you tell your brother what's bothering you.

Sessho-maru: AAAAHHHHH!!!!!

Sue: Sorry, Sessho-maru.

Sessho-maru: I don't like it when you make fun of Fangirls' nicknames for me.

Inuyasha: Hey, I have to put up with "Inu-chan" and remarks about me being a "lovable doggie."

Sue: There, there, Inu-chan, you lovable doggie.

Inuyasha: AAAAHHHHH!!!!

Sue: Why don't you both express your indignation by playing with the color blocks! *pushes both over to color blocks*

Inuyasha: What do we do with them?

Sue: Play with them! Build with them!

Sessho-maru: Smash them!

Sue: No, Sessy-chan. If you do that you have to go into time-out.

Sessho-maru: ...............

Sue: I'm glad you didn't scream in frustration, Sesh! You're showing improvement!

Sessho-maru: .............................................

Sue: Good job, Sessho-chan. I think you may have some potential for--

Sessho-maru: AAAAHHHHH!!!!!

Sue: Aw. Now poor Sesshy will have to go in time-out.

Students: *snicker*

Sessho-maru: If I hear one more snicker I'll fail you all.

Sue: Now Inu-chan will have to play with the blocks on his own.

Inuyasha: AAAAHHHHH!!!!!

Sue: What's wrong, my adorable doggie demon?

Inuyasha: AAAAHHHHH!!!!

Sue: That screaming is not appropriate for anger management counseling. Please stand in the corner, Inu-chan, until you are ready to cooperate with the class in a more civilized tone.

Inuyasha: AA-- *grumbles and stands in corner*

Students: *snicker*

Sessho-maru: A-pluses for everyone who snickered!

Inuyasha: *glares*

John: *involuntarily does pose*

Sue: Let's clam down and resume class, now. Now, poses aren't a good way to express ones anger. John, why don't you--

Unsuspecting pail of water: *appears out of nowhere*

John: *pose turns over unsuspecting pail of water*

Unsuspecting pail of water: *lands on Ranma*

Ranma: AAAAHHHHH!!!!

Kuno: *glomps* Oh, my beloved pigtailed girl! We are together at last! United by the gods above, our love will transcend any counseling session, overcome any lecture, surpass any--

Ranma: *kicks into outer space*

Kuno: *flies back* --exceed any obstacle, better any barrier--

Akane: Kuno, how did you learn to fly?

Kuno: I flew? *drops down*

Akane: *kicks into outer space*

Ranma: *to John* Detention!

John: It's not fair! You're giving me detention just so you and Akane can--

Ranma & Akane: IT'S A LIE! IT'S NOT TRUE!!!!!!!!

John: And I was going to try and sabotage the whole thing too. Darn... now I won't have the chance.

Ranma & Akane: You were going to try and sabotage our--

Students: Yes?

Ranma & Akane: --annual barbecue?

John: .............

Students:...................

Akane: Yes! Our annual Saotome-Tendo barbecue party! We have it each year! We play fun games like--

Students: Yes?

Akane: --pin the tail on the donkey. Loser has to eat the food that I cook.

Students: Never mind. We thought you were planning some sort of--

Soun Tendo & Genma Saotome: How's the planning for the love hotel retreat going? Have you given all the kids detention yet? Ranma? Akane?

Ranma & Akane: ..........................no......

John: I KNEW IT!

Sue: Well, class is just about over! Now everyone remember, keep your tempers under control, and if you're feeling a bit mad, just come again! And again! And again!

All: *grumbles and leaves*

***************

Pia emerged from the class exhausted. It had been yet another tiring hour of chaos, which was anything BUT relaxing. She was so tensed up, she would probably explode with bottled up indignation on the next sorry--

"So Pia! How was anger management counseling?" Cait cheerfully asked, popping up from around a corner.

Cait got up slowly, searching for any bruises or cuts. Finding no real injury, she cautiously walked back to her room. "Note to self- don't ask ."

* * * * * *

^_^ Sorry it took so long. Did you like that chapter? Was it silly? I think so.

Next chapter is "Sessho-chan's ordeal." I'll be needing ALL the nick names that people use for Sessho-maru that you can think of. So far I have:

Sess

Sesh

Sessy

Sesshy

Sess-chan

Sesh-chan

Sessy -chan

Sessho-chan

Maru-maru

Maru-chan

Fluffy

Sesshizzle

If you have any others that you've heard or made up, please tell me! And if you REALLY like Sessho-maru AKA if you are a Sess fangirl, tell me! You can help kidnap him.

Random student #4: *whacks* Stop! You're revealing the plot!

Meowm: Shut up! *kills*

#25, #26, #27, #28: AAAAHHHHH!!!! BLOOD!!!!

Meowm: We'll see you next time!