InuYasha Fan Fiction / Ranma 1/2 Fan Fiction ❯ The Ultimate Jerry Springer ❯ ch.2 ( Chapter 2 )

Audience: Jerry, Jerry, Jerry

Jerry: Hi and welcome back. If you just tuned in we are talking about spouses who are sick of their lovers not being able to choose who to be with. Now let's meet with our next guest Akane. Now Akane, why are you here.

Akane: I'm here with my fiancé who's backstage to tell these three girls to stay the hell away from my Ranma.

Jerry: Now you called him your fiancé, wouldn't the girls stay away from him if they knew he had a fiancé.

Akane: Well, these three girls are sorta his fiancés too, because his loser dad would just sell of Ranma to get free stuff like carts of food.

Jerry: So, all these girls are Ranma's fiancé ?

Akane: Yeah, but he says he doesn't want to marry them he wants to marry me.

Jerry: Ok, now tell me about Shampoo.

Akane: Oh my god, she is a Chinese slut. She always wears the shortest dresses. I mean, she wears short dresses and she's a slut…and she is a slut and….she is a slut.

Jerry: Wait a minute, so tell me is she a slut?

Akane (laughs) Yeah to put it in shorter words she is a slut, Jerry and everyone knows it except for that idiot Mouse, who is always trying to get in her pants.

Jerry: Okay, well let's bring her out.

(Shampoo comes running out and she looks pissed. She has those weird Chinese ball things. She runs straight at Akane, but is stopped by Steve.)

Shampoo: (is struggling to get out of Steve's grip) You bitch, Shampoo no slut, Ranma love Shampoo. Your just jealous of Shampoo, you violent tomboyish bitch.

Akane: (Akane stands up and out of no where her favorite mallet pops up. She runs at Shampoo, but is stopped by Todd.) Oh shut up and learn how to speak English. I'm getting a headache just listening to you talk.

Audience: Ohhhhhhhhhhhh

Shampoo: Oh now Shampoo is really going to kick your ass.

Akane: Oh yeah bring it on bitch.

(Shampoo tries to get out of Steve's grip, but she can't because in this story Steve is super strong. Soon Shampoo gets tired of fighting and decides to sit down)

P.S. STEVE ROCKS

Akane: That's what I thought, bitch.

(Akane sits down and her mallet magically disappears)

Jerry: Now did Ranma tell you that he loves you.

Shampoo: No, but he will when me and great-grandmother's plan works.

Jerry: Now who is this great-grandmother?

Akane: This old hag who is about as slutty as her grand daughter.

Jerry: Well let's meet the great-grandmother. Here's Cologne

(Cologne comes out in a halter top and way to tight pants)

Akane: You old wrinkly bitch leave

Cologne: Whatever

Akane: my Ranma alone. He doesn't

Cologne: Whatever

Akane: like your slutty ass

Cologne: Talk to the hand

Akane: or your equally slutty grand daughter

Cologne: Whatever, your just jealous, because Shampoo is much prettier than you and I am also prettier than you.

Audience: Slutty Liar, Slutty Liar, Slutty Liar

Cologne: Oh what you don't believe me you wanna see.

Audience: No, no, no, no

Cologne: (battle aura flames) Oh yeah well I'm showing you anyways.

(Cologne takes off shirt and flashes to audience. SHe then goes to the pole and does a strip dance. After her little "show" is done she sits back down.)

Audience: Booooooooo

Cologne: (battle aura flames again) QUIET!!!!!!

Audience: *cricket cricket *

Akane: Ewwwww, now that was gross, I mean what did you think of that audience.

Audience: Ewwwwwwwwwwww

Shampoo: Oh please great-grandmother is much prettier than you. Shampoo get all the good looks from great-grandmother side. No wonder Ranma like Shampoo better, at least Shampoo have boobs.

(Shampoo stands up and flashes the audience. Akane then stands up and takes off her shirt. They both then sit down.)

Jerry: Now Akane these aren't the only two after Ranma.

Akane: No there are two more, one looks like a guy and the other is insane.

Jerry: Well, were going to meet them right after this break.

Narrator: Are you hiding something from someone your lover. Want to finally tell them the truth. If so call

1800-555-Jerry