InuYasha Fan Fiction / Vision Of Escaflowne Fan Fiction ❯ What You Didn't Know and Didn't Need to Know about Escaflowne and InuYasha ❯ Chapter 9 ( Chapter 9 )

(Meanwhile, Van is still yelling at Folken, and Penguin, being the protective, possessive person she is, ::Principessa: Penguin wrote that!:: resolves to leave her Folken-sama-although not willingly-to scream back at Van and to permanently shut him up so that she can have ALL of Folken's love and attention.)

Van: Would you two ever stop it!!! I mean, you'd think that you would have the decency to get a room or something…no one wants to see THAT!!! Well, the actual display itself and the other things that seem to pop out of where they belong along the way…and I DEFINITELY don't want to see that. I mean, I'm your brother! I'm not supposed to see such things! And YOU, oh strange blonde one, how do you even do that?!

Miroku: 'Cause Van wants-no, NEEDS-to know, right?

Dryden: ::appearing in a beam of light:: Right! To get Hitomi laid!

Hitomi: I did not just hear that, did I? And what are YOU doing here?

Dryden: Eh…dunno… ::beam of light takes him away::

Jajuka: He came for the party!

Everyone: ::staring at Jajuka:: What party?

Jajuka: ::shrugs:: Whatever it is, it's QUITE a party….

Van: But ANYWAY, that's not the point! You are so disgusting!

Penguin: ::climbing down off of Folken to stick her face in Van's:: Okay, that's it, I have had ENOUGH of you INSULTING WATASHI NO FOLKEN LACOUR DE FANEL-SAMA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! If you say anything bad about my gorgeous hunk of a hubby one more time, I'll squash you flat as lefsa.

Van: What's lefsa?

Folken: I am NOT your husband.

Penguin: You will be shortly. ::snaps fingers and some tailors come in, holding white and black fabric and beginning to measure both her and Folken::

Folken: Are you guys from Zaibach? For if you are, I do have the authority to kill you all, so it might not be a wise decision to be here.

(The tailors all flee in fear.)

Folken: Ah, it's so nice to be Strategos….

Van: You LIKE that? I can't believe you! You are so grotesque!!!!!

Penguin: ::pulling out an unusually large mallet:: What did you say…?

Van: ::pulls out sword:: I said you both are GROTESQUE!!!!!!

(Penguin begins attempting to pound Van with the big mallet, as Van fends for himself pitifully with his very small by comparison sword.)

Dilandau: Let me help!

Penguin: AAAAAAAAAAAARRRRGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SHIIIIINU, VAN!!!!!!! Oh, yeah, sure, Dilly, do whatever.

Van: This is déjà vu all over again.

Hitomi: Van, that way!!!

Principessa/Celena: DON'T HURT HIM!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Kagome and Sango: ::looking alarmed:: Eh?

Kagome: ::to Sango:: How the heck did this start?

Sango: Not a clue. Search me.

Miroku: Can I? Oh, pleeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaase?

Sango: We have GOT to stop using that phrase….

Miroku: ::trying to feel Sango up:: Oooh…

Sango: Dame! Dame! What do you think you're doing? ::pulls out big boomerang and takes a swing at Miroku::

(Miguel and Viole rush over to Dilandau, and Viole has little hearts in place of eyes and is kind of…dancing? Nani o? Kowaii des….)

Viole: Lord Dilandau, can we help?

Miguel: Yeah! I wanna help!

Dilandau: Why didn't you incompetent soldiers get here before?!

Viole: FORGIVE ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(Folken rushes over and knocks everybody away from Van. He has that scary look in his eye he gets whenever Dilly disobeys him and he gets majorly pissed, as Dilandau has this knack for royally screwing with any plan Folken makes….)

Folken: STOP ATTACKING HIM!!!

Penguin: ::suddenly halting:: But…he insulted you!!!

(Folken kicks Penguin out the window. She somehow lands in the room with the big screen for talking to Dornkirk.)

Dornkirk: Ah, and who is this who has interrupted my sightseeing…err…fate-looking-for….

Penguin: ::whining:: Your Strategos just kicked me out the window-although I must admit, it was a very satisfying kick, just in the right place, if you know what I mean-and now we're separated!!! ::begins to cry::

Dornkirk: Ah, now, now, don't cry. I will comfort you….

Penguin: ::between sobs:: But…but…what about my…my…my…FOLKEN-SAMA!?!?!?

Dornkirk: You are so beautiful…I see a future for us!

Penguin: ::suddenly stops crying:: Wait…what? Are you…hitting on me???

Dornkirk: ::blushing:: Well, you are such a gorgeous babe, to put it bluntly, and it's been so long since…

Penguin: Stop right there. My virginity is reserved for Folken's taking.

Dornkirk: But we could be so good together! We are the perfect match, you and I, we have a certain…chemistry. Please, will you bear my child?

Penguin: ::glaring:: Okay, how much have you picked up from Miroku?

Dornkirk: ::shrugs:: Just seeing if it would work.

Penguin: Uh…no. I'm bearing Folken's child…err…children.

Folken (offstage): I DO NOT WANT YOUR CHILD!

Penguin: OH, DON'T WORRY, YOU WILL!!!!!!!!!!!

Dornkirk: You can have my child!

Penguin: No offense or anything, but I really don't want to know what your child would end up like…not to mention what he would DO…. I mean, just the concept of sleeping with you is bad enough. Don't traumatize me any further!