InuYasha Fan Fiction / Vision Of Escaflowne Fan Fiction ❯ What You Didn't Know and Didn't Need to Know about Escaflowne and InuYasha ❯ Chapter 10 ( Chapter 10 )

(Principessa/Celena enters, VERY angry.)

Principessa/Celena: Dornkirk, what the *heck* are you doing?!?!?! You evil, twisted, callous, must-be-in-everyone's-business *a-hole*!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Stop bothering my friend!!!!

Penguin: You tell 'em, sistuh! ::they high-five::

Dornkirk: Eh…well, you're very pretty, too….

Principessa/Celena: That is the most disgusting thing…. Do you remember who I am?

Dornkirk: Oh, that was you? Gee, I had no idea when I went to that party what they put in the drinks, and….

Principessa/Celena: I AM NOT SOME PROSTITUTE YOU MET AT A PARTY!!!! And I don't WANT to know what kind of parties you have anyway…I thought you were bedridden!

Dornkirk: That doesn't mean I can't get someone in that bed with me. I mean, I AM an emperor.

Principessa/Celena: I'm the girl you FATE ALTERED!!!!!!!!!

Dornkirk: Oh…whoops….

Principessa/Celena: ::turning red-hot (not like that! Man, what a sick mind all of our viewers have!) with anger:: You are SOOO lucky that idiotic male form of me reveres you, 'cause if he didn't, I could EASILY get him to kill you in some slow, torturous plan involving fire….

Dornkirk: …

Penguin: ::to Dornkirk:: Hey, just out of curiosity…what's your size?

Principessa/Celena: Wha? I don't get it….

Penguin: Think low, hun.

Principessa/Celena: Wha? Wait, I don't get…EEEEEEEEEEEEWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Penguin, why would you want to know THAT?!?!?!?!

Penguin: ::shrugs:: Just want to know what I'm missing.

Principessa/Celena: That is so perverted!

Penguin: Hey! I didn't say I was going to do it! I'm reserved for Folken-sama, 'member?

Principessa/Celena: Umm…I'm very, very, very sorry, but…but…demo…um, Folken does not return your affection.

Penguin: Not YET, you mean. I have a plan. ::smiles broadly::

Principessa/Celena: We've discussed this before, Folken has no sex drive.

Penguin: ::pushing herself up:: He will when I'M through with him!

Principessa/Celena: I don't want to know….

(Sango enters, having gotten lost in the Zaibach Floating Fortress ::Penguin: Where they cut down people in mass numbers-AHHH!!!!!!!!!! Eh…okay…I'm done ::)

Sango: Eh? *Shoot*, where am I THIS time?

Principessa/Celena: Hey, Sango!

Sango: Oh, hey! There you all are!

Dornkirk: Hey! Isn't she that girl I met at that party…?

Sango: Heh? Who are YOU?

Dornkirk: I am Emperor Dornkirk…you know, the guy you…

Sango: I've never met you, and from the looks of it, it should have stayed that way!

(Random Serving Maid who looks strikingly similar to Sango enters.)

Random Serving Maid: Ah, Dornkirk, my love, it is so good to eh…who are all these people? I thought you said this was going to be a private meeting where we could…

Sango: Who are you?

Random Serving Maid: I am Random Serving Maid. Duh, haven't you read the script?

Dornkirk: Hey, you're the one from that party!

Random Serving Maid: I'm so flattered you remembered.

Principessa/Celena: ::after gaining the attention of Penguin and Sango:: Uh…maybe we'd do better back on the main level. I don't really want to know how this romantic tryst will turn out.

Penguin: Yeah, you're right. We should leave the two lovebirds alone together.

Principessa/Celena: Don't leave me alone!

Sango: ::blink blink:: Why not?

Penguin: Eh…the word 'alone' makes her and Dilandau…become traumatized, to say the least. ::looks down at Principessa/Celena, who is clinging onto Penguin's arm::

Principessa/Celena: Kowaiio…kowaiio…kowaiio….

Penguin: ::petting the chipmunk's head:: There, there, we're leaving now to be in people's company…i.e., we're going to be with people soon…so you need to let go…you're too heavy to carry, particularly at this angle.

Jajuka: ::running in:: Don't worry! I'll carry you, Celena-chan!

(Penguin, Sango, and Principessa/Celena, being carried by Jajuka, reenter the main level. There, Van is sitting on the floor, wrapping bandages around a cut on his leg. Hitomi is sitting with him. Dilandau is across the room glaring at Van, wishing he could fight him. Folken is tending to the wounds that Eriya and Naria have received from Penguin. Allen is attempting to hit on Kagome, and Miroku is attempting to hit on Hitomi. Needless to say, both Inu-Yasha and Van look majorly pissed.)

Penguin: ::putting her arms up to strike a "superstar" pose:: I'M BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sango: ::to Kagome:: I had the most disgusting experience.

Penguin: Yeah, Dornkirk was hitting on us.

Everyone: ::collectively:: NANIIIIIIIIIIIIII?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!

Van: He WHAT?!?! That's possibly more disgusting than that weird girl…

Penguin: I have a name, you know. It's PENGI-SAMA!!!!!!!!

Van: …yeah, supercalifragilisticexpialidocious….

Penguin: Uh…and people think I'm distoybed?

Van: You're making me distoybed.

Miroku: Yeah, wull, A'm maeejuhly distoybed rah' now.

Penguin and Van: O.O …? A SOUTHERN ACCENT?!?!?!?!

Dilandau: He's talking confusing again!!!!!!!!

Principessa/Celena: ::climbing out of Jajuka's arms:: You don't WANT to know what happened down there! ::Crying::

Allen: Ahk! Jajuka! What did you do to her?

Jajuka: I didn't do anything…

Allen: Harassing a child in such ways….

Principessa/Celena: HE didn't harass me, DORNKIRK did.

Everyone: WHAT?!

Principessa/Celena: He couldn't even remember who I was! He thought I was some slut he met at a party!

Allen: WHAT?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

Sango: And then the REAL slut came in. I think she's still talking to him down there….

Penguin: Talking? You mean cybering!

Van: ::blink blink:: I know I will regret asking this, but what does cybering mean?

Penguin: You know, cyber sex? In their case, just taking off their clothes and touching themselves, as they can't really do anything else…

Folken: That is the most disgusting thing I have ever thought of. Dornkirk?

Principessa/Celena: But it was so awful, and I was yelling at him, but… ::sobs REEEAAALLY loud::

(All girls come over to Principessa/Celena to comfort her.)

Hitomi: You alright…?

Kagome: Are you okay?

Principessa/Celena: I guess….

Kagome: You know, some men are just *a-holes*.

Sango: Yeah, they can be really miserable sometimes…most of the time….

Hitomi: And sometimes they're so perverse. Sometimes you just want to slap them.

Principessa/Celena: Yeah…that's true….

Sango: And sometimes you want to do MORE than slap them…like kill them….

Principessa/Celena: …

Kagome: Oh, I know! It'd be nice sometimes if we could just take a big mallet-or a bow and arrow-like your friend did and squish them.

Principessa/Celena: Squish them? You can do that…? O.O

Hitomi: It's really wrong that he fate altered you and then tried to hit on you as if you were some woman hired to give him what he wants….

Kagome: Why he wants it at HIS age? Search me…and Miroku, if you say ONE word, just OOOONE word, I'll sic Inu-Yasha on you full-force.

Miroku: ::whimper whimper::

Hitomi: But I say he definitely would deserve any revenge! Don'cha think, girls?

Kagome and Sango: Yeah!

Principessa/Celena: Really? You think so?

Sango: Yeah! Not a doubt in my mind.

Principessa/Celena: ::an evil glimmer coming to her eye:: Hmm…one second…. ::Walks over to Dilandau::

Hitomi: ::to the other girls:: Oh, what have we started?

Principessa/Celena: ::to Dilandau:: Don't you think it's disgusting what Dornkirk's been doing?

Dilandau: Nobody will tell me what he's been doing.

Principessa/Celena: Well, he's been really disgusting…and even kinky!

Dilandau: He's spitting on the floor?! ::cringes:: Eew!

Principessa/Celena: Doesn't that just make you want to kill him?

Dilandau: Yeah!

Principessa/Celena: Doesn't it just make you want to go out into your guymelef and…kill him?

Dilandau: Yeah! YEAH!!! I haven't had a good battle in a long time! I'm looking forward to this…. Viole! Miguel! Gather the Dragon Slayers! We're going to attack Dornkirk!

Principessa/Celena: Sic him, Dilandau!

Hitomi: Oh no….

Kagome: Did we say something we shouldn't have…?

Sango: Uh…I think so.