InuYasha Fan Fiction / Yu Yu Hakusho Fan Fiction ❯ A New Perspective ❯ Losing You ( Chapter 1 )

[ Y - Young Adult: Not suitable for readers under 16 ]

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Title: Losing You

Pairing: Kagome / Kurama

Theme Set: 3 Angst

Theme #: 3 Sickness

Rating: K

Warnings: Super short ficlet

Summary: Kurama is finally forced to confront his feelings.

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He clutched her hand close to his heart. She lay there in the hospital bed, sickly pale and hardly moving. Her once lustrous raven hair had lost its sheen, and now lay limp against the pillow, the dark colour contrasting with the snow white of the cover. Her skin too seemed sallow and pale, all trace of colour gone. Her once rosy cheeks caved in making her appear gaunt. The hospital room was nauseatingly…white. And sterile looking. The beautiful woman he had almost given his heart to was gone now. All sparks of life was lost in her dull eyes. He wouldn't cry though. Crying would not change the past. Better to accept it and move on. If there was one thing he was it was cold. Yes, he was Youko Kurama, the great Makai bandit. To think a mere slip of a girl nearly changed that. But even as he thought that he knew things could have been different. Would have been different. Her soft voice broke through his thoughts.

"Kurama. Don't be sad. You didn't cause any of this to happen."

Guilt. Everyday the guilt ate at him, telling him he could have made a difference. He could have save her. She wouldn't be like this now if he had acted just that little bit quicker.

"It's not as bad as it looks really. It doesn't hurt at all. Besides I have you to keep me company, right?"

Pain. He was causing her such pain, yet she was unwilling to show it, to lean on anyone for support. The foolish girl thought to be strong and independent, not accepting sympathy or comfort from anyone, even him. That in turn was causing him such pain as well.

"We did what we were supposed to do. We completed our mission. My life is worth the other thousands we have saved."

Anger. It bubbled through his blood like barely leashed demons. Screw the other thousands! He wanted her to live, dammit! Stupid Reikai, stupid demon, and most of all stupid Koenma for making them go on such a dangerous mission in the first place.

"Sometimes I wished things had turned out differently though. You and I...well...we could have been happy Kurama."

Regret. She was right. They could have been very happy together. They knew each other inside and out, like the back of their hands. He had oftened fantasized of their future, perhaps a big country house somewhere, there could be a little girl with black hair and green eyes, playing on the swings, perhaps a twin brother chasing the dog, and a little boy in his arms, with red locks and blue eyes. She would be standing on the porch, waving them all inside for dinner...

"When I'm gone I want you to try and find happiness with someone else, promise me."

Denial. She was going to live, she had to. She had promised to never leave him. How could she break her promise? No this was just a crazy dream and she hadn't just been diagnosed with an unidentified illness, that slowly made you wither away. He was going to wake up and find her snuggling with him in his room, after a bout of love making.

"I do love you. So very much."

Love. The feeling he most dreaded of all. It meant being attached. A weakness. Something your enemy could use against you. That was why he kept himself distant from people most of his life. Yet gazing at her he could not find it in him to think of her as a weakness. Their time together had been a blessing. He would have not given it up for the world. He brought her bony hand up to his lips and kissed it, then nuzzled into it. It was then that he made his decision, the final jump over the edge.

"I love you too Kagome."