InuYasha Fan Fiction / Yu Yu Hakusho Fan Fiction ❯ Silent Regrets ❯ Chapter 6

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

Title: Silent Regrets

Author: Ryukotsusei

Disclaimer: Inuyasha and Yu Yu Hakusho belong to their respective owners. As much as I wish I could claim a part of it, I cannot. The plot however and any OC's my twisted mind happens to come up with though is mine.

Summary: IY/YYH It's strange how regret can make you think, two people take a journey to discover what's really important. Pairing: Hiei/Kagome

Author's note: Special thanks to Takhisiss who gave me a hand with the dialog. Also thank you to everyone who reviewed last chapter. It really helps motivate me to write more.

Kurama made his way through the dense foliage, trying desperately to find even the slightest trace of Hiei. He swore that either he was masking his ki or he wasn't even in this particular area of the forest. "Dammit Hiei where are you?" The kitsune continued his trek through the forest, extending his senses as far as he could yet still coming up with nothing. Snow began to fall once more causing a string of curses to fall from his lips in an old Makai dialect that was long thought to have vanished. It was slow going and the snow made it even more difficult. Knowing time was of the essence he did the one thing he knew of that would allow him to move easier, he changed into his kitsune form.

With a yip he took off, this lighter form not falling through the thin crust of the snow. He blended into the white landscape easily, on the off chance that someone spotted him they wouldn't be able to get a good view. He snorted at the thought of being seen, no one would believe what they saw to begin with. Five tailed foxes weren't exactly a common occurance in the Ningenkai's landscape.

He raised his nose into the wind, scenting it carefully. His eyes widened as he caught the faintest traces of Hiei's scent, unfortunately it was a few hours old and he was moving through the trees. Not exactly an easy trail to follow. Fortunately though he had one more weapon at his disposal. He wrapped his energy around the tree, questioning it as to the apparitions whereabouts. 'I seek the shadow full of fire. Have you knowledge of where he settled?' Whispers met his questions as the tree conversed with its neighbors, trying to gain the knowledge the ancient kitsune desired.

Kurama waited patiently for the answer to come back, though he knew that it might take a while. Hiei was fast and could easily cover miles of terrain in mere minutes. The answer came back sooner than he expected as the tree whispered its secrets to him. 'Thank you my friend.' Kurama gave it one last caress of his energy, ensuring the trees survival through the winter before he began to run again. He was thankful that the location he had been provided with wasn't that far away. He knew he was getting closer as Hiei's scent became stronger. He could even feel the unique feel of the hybrid's ki though it was muted. He was leaving just enough to be exposed in case he was needed, no doubt if something happened to Kagome.

As he slid to a stop at the base of a tree he was happy to see his partner looking down at him curiously. He snorted at the look he was receiving, it was almost as if Hiei hadn't seen a kitsune in animal form before. The wind swirled around him, kicking up the snow as once more he shifted into his human form. Once the transformation was complete he fixed the hybrid with a serious look. "Why didn't you tell me Kagome was so unstable?"

Hiei scowled down at him, not appreciating the tone of Kurama's voice or what he had said to begin with. His eyes glowed in the shadows of the tree he sat in, his voice colder than the ice that surrounded them. "Tell me exactly what you are talking about Kurama. What do you mean by so unstable? I told you she was upset, what has she gone and done now?" Worry gripped him though he didn't show it, he knew she was depressed. Had she hurt herself somehow in the short time that he had been gone?

Kurama lept up onto the branch next to him, not wanting to stand in the snow any longer than necessary. Already he was feeling the affects of the cold and wishing he could just change back into his kitsune form. At least then he had a thick coat that would protect him from the elements. "I just got a call from Shizuru. Kagome dropped Boyu off there for Kuwabara to take care of. She said she is going back into the past Hiei. You know as well as I do if she dropped the cat off then she isn't planning to return."

Hiei's eyes widened as he stared at his partner. Why in the hell would she even consider leaving? When she said she needed to feel like she belonged couldn't she tell that everyone in their group considered her family in some form or another? There was nothing for her in the past, she had said as much before since her friends had gone on with their lives. He didn't want to believe it, she couldn't be leaving. Not now. His hand shot out and grabbed the front of Kurama's jacket. "Are you certain? If this is some plan you concocted to force my decision I am not amused."

Kurama didn't move away from that impassive glare, he didn't even bother to pull his jacket free from the hybrid's hold. "I'm serious Hiei, Shizuru went after her. Yusuke and Kuwabara were at Genkai's. I don't know if any of them will get there in time to stop her and I've spent too much time looking for you. You are the only one who can stop her from leaving, unless you don't care. Make your choice Hiei, if we're going to stop her we have to leave now." He waited for Hiei to make his decision, which didn't take long. He blinked, clearly startled as the apparition abruptly let him go and leapt away heading in the direction of the shrine. Knowing he had to move quickly or be left behind he once more changed forms before taking off after the demon who was getting further and further away.

The scenery flew past him as he ran, pushing himself to his limits. Even as he raced time his mind wandered back to their conversation the day before. The looks she gave him, the words she had said. Was she looking for him to be the one to give her the reason to continue on? He sprung off of one particularly thick branch, propelling himself forward. Now he cursed the entire idea of going so far into the forest. All he had wanted at the time was to be as far away from the city as possible and now it was working against him. He cast a quick glance behind him, checking Kurama's position. He snorted, any other time this would be amusing to him as he realized just how far behind the kitsune was.

It was no matter, the fox would either keep up or be left behind. It wasn't like his destination was a secret. Shadows began to lengthen as the day advanced and he knew he was running out of time. He could see the cities skyscrapers dotting the horizon now. Ripping off the ward covering the jagan he let it drift to the ground forgotten. The eye opened, searching for any trace of the girl's energy. Perhaps fate would smile on him after all and he'd find her a good distance from the well that would steal her away from him. It was not to be however. He picked up Yusuke's large aura moving at a rapid pace towards the shrine, Kuwabara not far behind him. He could feel the girl in question at the Shrine, so far still within his reach.

His body ached with the strain of keeping up such a furious pace but he wasn't about to give up. This would end one of two ways, with him stopping her from leaving or by just missing her. Of that he had no doubts now. He was now within the city and close enough that he could feel the sadness radiating from the Goshinboku, apparently it knew of her intentions as well. He hit the top step just moments before Yusuke sprinted up the stairs behind him. He could feel her now, so very close but still out of reach. She was within the well house and he somehow knew that he wouldn't be able reach her in time. "Kagome no!" His voice echoed across the empty grounds, straining to reach her and stop this foolishness.

He stopped suddenly, uncaring of the way that Yusuke had to throw himself to the side to avoid running him over. The well's magic washed over the both of them and it was then that he knew she was gone. "Kagome...." His heart that he had hidden so long ago twisted painfully in his chest as the realization that he had lost her blanketed him. His blindness to her feelings and the hesitation to act on his own had cost him dearly this time. Kurama came up quietly behind him, stopping only to check and make sure he was okay before he continued on into the well house. Throwing the door open he stepped inside and went down the stairs. The smell of magic and Kagome's scent was prominent in the air. There was no mistaking that she was gone.

Kuwabara was the last to arrive and took in the scene before him somberly. "She's gone isn't she?" He didn't want to believe it. "Dammit what the hell happened? I know at the very least you could have gotten here in time Shorty!" Kuwabara was furious that none of them had seen this coming and lashed out at the one who had grown closest to her. His head snapped to the side as Hiei's first connected with his jaw. He rubbed the sore spot gingerly as he glared down at the one who struck him. "I should have known you'd throw a cheap shot. What's the matter Hiei? Truth hurt? You should have stopped her! I thought you cared but I guess I was wrong." He took a step forward, ready to retaliate against the hybrid when Yusuke grabbed him from behind and Kurama had come back out of the well to make sure Hiei didn't attack him for what he said.

Yusuke made sure to keep a good grip on his friend, even he could see how this was hurting Hiei and it wouldn't do to provoke him unnecessarily. " Leave it alone Kuwabara, I'm sure he got here as soon as he could. Let's go inside, maybe we are all overreacting and she's planning on coming back sometime soon alright?" Seeing that his friend stopped struggling he let him go, though he kept a wary eye on Hiei who still looked ready to take his anger out on anyone who looked at him the wrong way.

Shrugging off the hand that was keeping him from beating the crap out of his team mate, Hiei turned and walked over to the front door. He opened it, noting how it wasn't locked. Either she meant to return or knew that he would come back and wanted to leave him a way to get in. It would be just like her, for the longest time she objected to him sleeping outside. He couldn't help the slightest smile that crossed his face when he remembered the one time she climbed up into his tree stating if he was sleeping outside then she would as well. That was the first night he had actually gone in and stayed the entire night. It had become something of a habit after that, not wanting her to possibly fall and break her neck.

Bypassing the rest of the house, he went directly to her bedroom. It was empty, just as he had known it would be. The suitcases were gone as well as most of her clothing. He sighed heavily and sat down on her bed, his gaze going over to her nightstand. Lying there innocently was her diary, something that he knew she held dear to her. She would never leave it behind accidentally, the only thing he could think of was that she wanted it to be found. Perhaps so they would understand exactly what drove her to leave. Still, he wasn't ready to look at it just yet. He wasn't sure he wanted to know why she had gone, if he was indeed the cause.

Downstairs Yusuke had already looked in the laundry room and noticed her old pack was gone. Sighing heavily he went into the kitchen, his eyes falling on the single piece of paper laying on the table top. Picking it up he slowly read it, his eyes widening as he did so. It wasn't a blatant declaration of love but even he could read between the lines, seeing what it was she had wanted to say. He ignored the questioning look Kuwabara was giving him, choosing instead to reread what she had written. It was a slim chance, but there was a possibility she would return. If she did, it would be because of Hiei. "She'll be back, she has to be. She wouldn't leave him like this. Not for good."

"What the hell are you talking about now Urameshi?" Kuwabara grabbed the letter out of his friends hand and read it for himself. "You really think she'll be back?" Kuwabara was skeptical, a lot would depend on what it was Hiei said to her he was certain. He pulled out a chair and sat down in it heavily. There was nothing they could do about it now, not unless Koenma knew a special way to get the well to open for them. "Hey Shrimp get your ass down here, she left something for you!"

Kurama came into the room moments before Hiei did, taking the paper from Kuwabara. Hiei was getting just a bit irritated at their antics. If she left something for him as Kuwabara had said then he should have been the next to read it. Instead it was getting passed around and crumpled which was fraying his nerves even more. "Give me that dammit!" He snatched the paper out of Kurama's hand while he glared at all of them. Seeing Kuwabara about to yell at him again he disappeared into the living room to read his letter in silence.

He smoothed the paper out carefully before reading it, His eyes lingered on the part where she said he held a special place in her heart. It would seem his feelings were returned but why wouldn't she say something? All this time he had held himself back, thinking he wasn't good enough for her. That she wouldn't want someone like him for good reason. But she cared anyway, despite what he had thought. Anger flared through him briefly, if she cared so much then how could she just leave him behind like that? He crumpled the paper in his hand and threw it across the room. He knew that the others were watching him from the doorway but at the moment he just couldn't bring himself to care.

Kurama walked in and sat next to him, giving a look to the other two that plainly told them to make themselves scarce for a few minutes. Once he was certain they were gone he turned to his partner. "I can understand why you are angry Hiei but look at it from her point of view. Did you give her a reason to stay? I think that your conversation last night could have easily been her looking for some sort of sign from you that her feelings were returned."

Hiei sighed, knowing that Kurama had a point. He couldn't hold onto his anger at her for leaving, but he couldn't let go of the ache that she had left behind. He stared up at the mantel above the fireplace. All the pictures were there, except one. It made him feel a bit better, knowing that she took something of him with her. "No. I told her to talk to you, that I couldn't help her with her human emotions. How was I to know that she was looking for more? From me no less."

The kitsune was silent for a moment. It would depend on her then, if she found that things were just as lonely on the other side. He had his doubts that they could find a way to the other side of the well and even if they did, he didn't know that he would be able to convince her to return. "What will you do then?"

Hiei seemed to sink further into the couch upon hearing the question. What could he do about it now. The well would not open for him and Kagome wasn't likely to come back. The only thing he could do was wait and hope. "I'll remain here until she returns. That's all I can do. Still, Koenma needs to know what has happened. I doubt he will be happy to know that the jewel is back in the past once again." That if nothing else, might prompt Koenma to step in and find a way to bring her back. After that he would have to find a way to keep her from facing Koenma's wrath.

"If you wouldn't mind a bit of advice Hiei. Hold off on talking to Koenma just yet and give her a chance to come back on her own. If Koenma were to find out what happened, there is no telling what he would deem an appropriate punishment. Especially considering she meant this to be permanent. He was willing to overlook the possibility of short visits but anything longer was unacceptable." Kurama didn't want this to get any more out of hand than it already had. Kagome was looking at the possibility of being confined to the Reikai after this if Koenma got a hold of her. He couldn't exactly take the jewel so that would be his only option if he felt it was necessary.

Hiei nodded, knowing that it was sound advice. The demigod would not hear it from him, at least not yet. If she stayed hidden then they might not have a choice, just as they couldn't lie to Koenma should he ask them outright where she was. "Make sure the two idiots know not to say anything about it. Not a word to Botan either, she wouldn't be able to keep this a secret." He watched as Kurama stood and walked into the kitchen, no doubt to speak with Yusuke and Kuwabara.

Kurama saw that the two men were still in the kitchen and had expressions on their faces that said they were well aware of what was said. "So you know then? I want to make this very clear. No one is to know that Kagome is gone. Not Koenma, not Botan." He gave Yusuke a hard look meant to emphasize his point. "Keiko is not to know either. Kuwabara, you talk to Shizuru and make sure she knows what is going on. It won't do anyone any good if Kagome comes back only to be locked away."