InuYasha Fan Fiction / Yu Yu Hakusho Fan Fiction ❯ Such a Small World ❯ Chapter Four ( Chapter 4 )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

By: KibaSin

Chapter Four

Yukina smiled at the little girl sitting at her kitchen table, quietly waiting for breakfast to be done. Rini was such a sweet girl; she didn't deserve to be put into the middle of everything that happened between Keiko and Yusuke. But there was no stopping it, and she knew that sooner of later the fireworks were going to really fly. Especially if Yusuke came over demanding that he could see his family, since she wasn't going to let him in until she heard the entire story. She wasn't even sure she was going to let him in once she did.

Glancing at the staircase once more, she hoped that Keiko wasn't going to keep herself in the guest room all day. She knew that she needed time to herself, but she hoped that she'd be able to get some answers out of her soon. At least then she'd be able to help her, or at least be able to give her some advice. Not only that, but she might be able to help out Kagome, if it was the same Kagome she knew.

“So, Rini, how was going to see your grandmother and everyone?” she asked, turning to give the girl a small glance. She saw how her face brightened instantly, obviously very excited to tell anyone and everyone what she'd done and how much fun she'd had. It was nice to have the distraction, listening to the little girl as she recalled everyone one of her little adventures while away. At least listening to Rini allowed her to think about something other than the things she hoped wasn't happening.

Yes, she had never expected Yusuke to be faithful for such a large amount of time. He was more of the type to have more than woman in his life when she'd first met him, which was why she was surprised he had married. Now, she felt terrible for not mentioning it to Keiko sooner. Maybe she could have convinced the woman that Yusuke would have most likely done something like this sooner, thus saving her the pain that she was now feeling? Or maybe she could have simply ruined a marriage if she had been wrong—to bad it turned out she had been wrong on that.

“Godmother Yukina?”

“Oh, yes, Rini?” Yukina smiled, turning to give her a small glance as she continued with her work. It would do no good to burn anything she was going cooking, especially now when there were other people in the house that wanted to eat it. And if she could burn eggs, she could easily burn any of the items she made while at the bakery.

Rini twiddled her fingers together, looking down at the tabletop, as if it were more interesting than anything else at the moment. “Do you think mommy and daddy will stop fighting?” she asked.

Yukina sighed. It was an innocent question, she knew that, but it would be hard to truly convince the child that they were going to be just fine. Not when she had a sickening feeling that the only one who might bounce back was Kagome, if it were the Kagome she knew. Yes, Keiko would with time, but she doubted that this time her friend was going to let Yusuke push her around. He was going to have to fix this if he wanted to keep his family, but that stubborn man most likely would have it all fall apart by the time he tried.

“…Godmother Yukina?”

“I'm sorry, Rini,” Yukina smiled.

Rini frowned, “'Bout what?”

“I'm afraid I can't answer your question, Rini. Only time will tell if your parents manage to get through this,” Yukina said.

“I hope they do,” Rini muttered. “I don't like it when mommy and daddy fight.”

“Yes.” Yukina nodded, “I hope so, too, Rini. I hope so, too.”

Sniffling, the little girl reached up to wipe her nose with her sleeve. “I've never seen mommy so mad. I… I don't think mommy will ever forgive daddy, and then we won't be a family anymore.” She was in tears by the time she'd finished, staring at her Godmother as she turned off the stove and set the pan aside. Reaching out, she waited for Yukina to hug her, for she knew that that was what she was going to receive, and she happily gave into it, wanting the comfort others could give her. “I want them to stop fighting and be happy.”

“I know. I know,” Yukina patted her back, trying to comfort the young girl as she clung to her. “I'm sure that everything will turn out alright, though. Sooner or later you and your mother will be happy again, whether its with your father, or…”

“Or?” Rini stiffened.

Nodding, Yukina rocked the girl a little. “Sometimes people just don't work out, Rini, and when that happens they go on with their lives away from each other. I know it will mostly likely be hard, and it will take a while to get used to it, but if it happens, there might not be any going back. They might decide to after a while, but that depends on if they can overcome this.”

Rini nodded, though she really didn't understand some of the speech. She was a little girl who wanted her family to be like all the other families she'd seen on TV, and at school. She'd always been told that when younger her father was aggressive, whatever that meant, and got into a lot of fights, but she never understood why others would say that. And her mother was the kindest mommy on the whole block, which was why she loved her. Why they couldn't be happy and not fight was something that she couldn't understand. She wanted them to be together, yet she was afraid deep down that they weren't going to stay together. That soon they wouldn't be a family anymore and everything would change.

She didn't want that.

OoO

Keiko twisted the shirt in her hands, her mind going back to the images she'd seen. They played over and over again within her head, and she wanted it to stop. She knew that something like this could have happened, she'd seen all the signs, but she'd thought that Yusuke would have stayed faithful to the vow he'd made. The one he'd told her the first time he'd told her he loved her. He'd promised to love her and only her for the rest of his life, and then he'd asked her to marry him. She'd been so happy, but now she wondered why she'd been happy at all.

Why had she given into his sweet words so easily? Then again, she knew that was a stupid question, because she knew it was because by then she'd fallen in love. She'd truly loved Yusuke, and she still loved him, but she wasn't so sure what his feelings for her were anymore. Not after finding out he'd been cheating on her, and she didn't even know for how long. He could have first started stabbing her in the back a month ago, a year, or three years. That didn't make her feel any better, though. Neither did the fact that she was afraid that he no longer loved her, or that he'd been wrong in his feelings, and wasn't going to come after her.

Looking toward the door, she told herself that she'd need to go downstairs soon. Even if Yusuke wasn't going to apologize and try to make anything up, she still had a daughter to raise. Rini needed her. Besides, she couldn't alienate everyone simply because her heart hurt and she felt like she was falling apart inside. Especially not her daughter, since she was probably confused, sad, and hoping with all her heart. Keiko knew that she needed to be there for her, even if she wasn't truly there for herself.

Nodding to herself, she made sure to wipe at her eyes, knowing that Rini would be off to school soon, but she didn't want her to know that she'd been crying. When she stood, she wondered why she was even waiting, in her heart, for Yusuke to come for her. She knew that's what she'd do, no matter how many times she'd slapped him and called him a pervert when they were dating. She'd known that there was a possibility of this happening, yet she hadn't seen the signs. All those times he'd told her he had something to do when she had wanted to do some fun activity with him—she was sure now he wasn't really doing what he'd said he'd be doing. She shouldn't be waiting for him at all; she should be allowing her heart to heal and then finding someone who would love her.

She gave a jerking nod to herself. If Yusuke wanted to be stubborn and wait for her to come to him, then he'd be waiting forever. If he didn't come for her by the time she was positive she could face a relationship again, then she'd divorce him and find someone who'd be faithful to her. She'd find someone else, and then she'd be able to ask anyone who asked who he or she were talking about whenever they talked about Urameshi Yusuke. Yes, for she'd make sure to even change her last name back to Yukimura.

Yusuke would be erased from her life.

Deep down, though, she wished that he came for her before that happened. She still loved him. She still wanted to be with him. She wanted to be a family with him and Rini, and hopefully have more children in the future. However, the choice wasn't hers to make, but her husband's, and she could only hope he made the right one.

OoO

Sighing, she once again swung the broom in her hands, sweeping the cobblestone around the shrine. She wore the outfit of the miko; promising Sango that she'd put herself to work once more, even though she'd stopped doing the job once she met Hiei. It seemed her stepsister was trying to get her mind away from the guilt that she felt, and it was starting to work, until he showed up—Sango's boyfriend.

Her eyes glanced up at them, watching as the smirking Bankotsu wrapped his arm around her blushing stepsister. She almost wished that Hiei was that affectionate in public, but she knew that he wouldn't be. That was just the way he was, and she was happy that he accepted her as she was, unlike Inuyasha. Always comparing her to her cousin, who's shown up more times than she could count whenever he was over, toward the end of their relationship. She was lucky to have found Hiei, even though he'd glared at her and called her a few names that she wasn't fond of when they'd first met. True, they still had their arguments, and they must likely always would, but he was still dear to her, no matter how he acted in public.

Besides, she was happy for Sango. Bankotsu was a lot better boyfriend than her last boyfriend, Miroku. At least this one didn't go around groping everything that looked like a female from behind. Turned out he was now with a woman named Botan, who'd put him in his place quickly. She was happy for all her friends, but she couldn't help but feel that there was something in her life that she wasn't getting. Something that she wanted, but she felt she wouldn't get if she continued on the way she was. Yes, her life had been hard so far, and she'd experienced a lot of heartache, but she should have been happy now, shouldn't she? She should be happy that her friends were happy and that she had a boyfriend that wanted to stay with her, even after she'd mistaken his anger and words as a sign that he'd been cheating on her, and ended up sleeping with another man.

Her hands tightened on the broom. It truly was her fault. She wouldn't be surprised if Hiei decided that he no longer wanted anything to do with her and left her, but he'd most likely make her life a whole lot worse. She could only bet how much time it would take everyone to know of her crime, and then she'd never be the same. Who knew, maybe she'd simply ignore it, or maybe the guilt would get her so bad that she lost herself to insanity. A small smirk formed on her lips, as she thought that she was probably going insane already with just trying to keep her life as it used to be, before all this happened.

“Hey.”

She looked up suddenly, seeing Bankotsu leaning on a bench not far away from her. He was staring at her in a brotherly way, and she knew it was because he'd said he felt as if they'd known each other all their life, as siblings, since he'd started dating Sango. She smiled, forgetting her guilt for a moment, and tilted her head a bit to one side. “Oh. Ah, is there something you needed, Bankotsu?” she asked.

“You look kind of down,” he frowned. “Are you alright, Kagome? Sango said that you haven't been yourself since last night, and you've been doing all the work today. That's not like you, ya know.”

She blinked, and then looked down at the broom in her hands. She had been doing all the work that day, trying to escape the feelings that she knew were going to haunt her for some time. Even if she managed to stay with Hiei for the rest of her life, she was going to feel the guilt quite well for a long time. It would be her punishment for going against her mother's teachings. “I guess I have,” she mumbled, “I hadn't noticed.”

His frown deepened, “Is it Hiei? Has that bastard done something to you, `cause I'll beat him into the pavement if he has?” His eyes bore into hers, watching as she flinched. “I'm right, aren't I? Tell me, Kagome, so I have a reason to go after his ass.”

“Bankotsu, please, don't cuss here.” She turned her head away, continuing to sweep. “Hiei has done nothing to me, you don't have to worry about that. If you want to know, you can ask Sango. I don't feel like telling you what's wrong right now, okay.”

“Fine, but don't think this is over, Kagome. You're like the little sister I never had, and I'm going to protect you.” He nodded his head in agreement to himself. “Just tell me when you need me, alright? I'll come as fast as I possibly can.”

“Thank you, Bankotsu,” she smiled. “I really appreciate that, though you don't have to.”

He smiled, “I want to. Especially if its that bastard Inuyasha.” Punching one hand into the other, he grinned, “I want to pound his face in a few million times. I hate him; have since I first met the guy.” He gave her a thoughtful look, “But I like Hiei. Don't know why, he seems a lot like Inuyasha, but I still like him. He's good for you, ya know.”

“Sango told me the same thing,” she said.

“Well, she's an observation woman, my Sango,” he continued to grin. “I do have to go now, though. I told Jakotsu that I'd do something with him, though I can't seem to remember what it was exactly. I can only hope that my brother doesn't make me go out hunting with him, ya know?”

“Yeah, good luck with that, Bankotsu,” Kagome said, waving once he gave her a small wave, and turned to leave. Sighing once more, her smile turned into a frown, and she went back to her work. She had a duty to this shrine, since she had lived there most of her life, and the Goshinboku was her favorite tree. She hoped that she'd be able to spend time underneath that tree once she was old and her children and their children would be able to find comfort there. She hoped, but she knew that hoping wouldn't get her anywhere, since she'd hoped Hiei hadn't been cheating on her, she'd made a mistake, and she'd ended up in good `ld Guiltvalley.

Another sigh pulled itself from her lips, and she wondered what she was going to do the rest of the day. She couldn't go on cleaning until she exhausted herself until she passed out—alright, she could, but she didn't want to—and there was really nothing to do at the moment. Not when she was visiting a valley that she didn't like to visit, since Anger Port or Embarrassment City were much better places to stay in. At least those didn't stay buried underneath her skin for more than a few days, whereas guilt struck her for months. She knew, she was still guilty about accidentally running over Buyo III with the car, and that was two years ago.

She almost giggled to herself, thinking she was silly for making up names for her feelings. She'd done it since she was little, though they were always little things, usually named after objects—now she was naming them after cities and things; that was so much more mature. She smiled a bit, happy that she'd managed to stop thinking about the one thing that was eating away at her underneath her skin, and continued with her work. She did have a large amount of space to still sweep, since she'd been actually sweeping the same spot for quite some time. It only got so clean.

Glancing at the broom in her hands once more, Kagome wished that she could just sweep her troubles away. Allow them to be swept up into the air and never return, instead of life being so hard. Then she wouldn't be guilty, and then she could have erased what she'd done and hopefully done it over again, but this time slapping that blasted Urameshi Yusuke and telling him to go to Hell. At least then she wouldn't feel this way.

Great way to get your mind off it, Kagome, she mumbled to herself. It just figured that she'd continue to go after it, allowing the guilt to take hold again and again and again, no matter how many times she actually managed to stop thinking about it for a short while. It wasn't going to go away, nor was the fact that she'd slept with another man, which was the reason why she'd scrubbed herself like crazy in the bathtub after her talk with Sango. She still felt dirty, though, and she wasn't sure if she'd ever be able to think of herself as attractive in Hiei's eyes.

Her head bowed in shame. She'd truly gone off the deep end by listening to those women she'd once thought were her friends. Sure, they were friendly enough, but they had probably only let her become friends with them because they'd known that after so much time she'd listen and believe anything they said. They'd known and she'd allowed them to string her along, and possibly ruin her relationship. No, now that she thought about it, her relationship was probably screwed, and not in the good way.

“Hn, are you going to sweep that spot all day, or pay attention to your guests?”

Her head snapped up, and she looked at Hiei, standing about ten feet from her. Dread filled her, knowing that though it hadn't even been a day, he decided. Well, she'd embrace it and never date again, then. Obviously, if Inuyasha couldn't stand her, and Hiei felt that she was going to cheat on him ever again, which she wouldn't do if they had a chance, then what good were men anyway? People always went on about how there were other fish in the sea, but damn it, if she couldn't have the man she knew she loved, then she didn't want another one.

“Hello, Hiei,” she smiled. Here we go.

His look became suspicious, and he stepped toward her. “Why are you looking at me like that? Are you alright?” A flash went through his eyes, though it was too fast for Kagome to identify. For a moment she could have thought it was fear, but why would he fear anything. He then glared at her for not answering, and Kagome smiled sheepishly. “Hn. Answer the question, woman.”

“Nothings wrong with me, Hiei, though I'm not so sure about you. I don't think you'd ever come to the shrine,” she smiled, trying to make it better, “especially not on a good day.” Her smile slipped a little, “Speaking of which, why are you here?”

“Can I not come see my woman?” Hiei asked, lifting an eyebrow. His arms crossed over his chest, wondering what she would say. He knew that she always surprised him, and he wouldn't be all that surprised if she did this time. But he hoped to whatever there was, whether God or another being of high power, that she wasn't going to say `no'.

“I didn't know you cared so much,” she muttered.

His look intensified. “Hn, idiot. Of course I care, I've alwa…” He stopped, feeling foolish. He shouldn't have to spell it out for her; she should have already known that. Really, she must be going blind or something, along with growing more naïve, and maybe a bit distant. “I came to see if you'd like to… to go somewhere,” he frowned. He wasn't used to asking her places, she usually knew when he wanted to take her someplace, but he'd noticed that she wasn't paying much attention to anything, and he suspected it was because she thought she wasn't good enough for him now and was laden with guilt over the entire thing. He didn't care what she'd done, he blamed Yusuke, and Yusuke would pay soon enough.

“You want to… go somewhere?” she asked, turning to look at him. She hoped that he'd just said what she thought he'd said, for that meant that he did want to make it work. He still wanted to go places with her and perhaps show to anyone else that she was off the market, therefore no one should cross that line ever again. She would, if he decided to stay with her, make sure she never did it again. She'd be faithful in everything, no matter what it was.

“…Yes,” he replied.

Smiling, happy she'd been wrong about him letting her go; she nodded. “Alright, just let me get out of this outfit and I'll be right out.” Her guilt was forgotten for a moment, and she felt her heart soar. “We can go for ice cream or something.” She saw him straighten a bit and knew she'd hit a soft spot. Ice cream was a cure for everything with him, but she knew it wouldn't cure her.

She was happy, though, to have another chance with him.